MEMORIES

I came from sunny Saskatchewan to the land of umbrellas

Dad and I have built many memories together even with our different interests. I still love to read and love going to church to sing and be with friends. We had a beautiful day driving through the rain down to the Slvia.

It is a little hard to remember the childhood curiosity I had regarding God, but I do know it was very real. I loved to imagine things and I would imagine that one day I would be a writer and a singer. I loved to read and I loved to sing and I still do.

Yesterday we celebrated our 53 wedding anniversary and we remember it was a foggy damp day when we arrived in Vancouver about 9 on a Saturday night. My first plane ride was a little bumy but I was too excited and happy to notice.

I have never lost that strong and powerful yearning for the spiritual; and it has become a foundation upon which my life has been built. I have experienced many forms of worship and have glimpsed the need of the young to want to change church structure and beliefs. Through it all I have been growing spiritually.

Time for change. Time for church worship to be joyful as well as meaningful.

Memories are good and it was wonderful to have yorkshire pudding and roast beef at Sandra's house and having a visit with the family.

DOUBTERS INTO BELIEVERS

Was there any doubt that I would not just say a few words like yesterday? This is blurry but can you tell the real from the fake?

You cannot see the real world with rose coloured glasses. Can you see the glasses?

The amazing thing is that I believe that God loves doubters as much as believers. Maybe more?

I try again to get the pond with the flowers. Still not good enough. Thankfully goodness is not what God asks of me only a willingness to keep seeking and asking.

No Rick I will never stop reading Christian books. Which one has the answers?

There is some truth in each one but I still choose to believe what I believe.

Is this really gluten-free bread? Yes, Carol found it at a bakery in New Westminster.

Is it good? It is excellent! I have tried all kinds of glutin-free bread; baking my own and buying different ones. This baker has a secret process to duplicate glutin and after trial and error has succeded. He did this as a labour of love when a loved one developed glutin intolerance.

Doctors doubted for many years this is a real disease and certainly there was doubt about me.

Unlike the drinking of hot water the change of diet made me a believer. No more diarrea, no more bloating and pain, no more exhaustion, nausea and depression. Well I have learned that I really have to believe in this diet and stick to it. On a cold morning this is the place to be. Any doubters?

Frost on the car and getting darker. Yes, it really is fall I doubt if you can see but there is a beautiful pattern on this window. Maybe you will have to take my word for it. Sometimes we have to take the words of others and allow ourselves to believe!

God spoke through the prophets saying: The Lord says : You are precious in my sight even when you are blind! Jesus came to give us sight into the love of a God of grace and mercy!

I am rebelling this morning and not drinking my two cups of hot water first! Why? It is not doing any good and I am tired of doing it so I would say I doubt if it is doing any good.

Do any of us doubt that the world needs saving?

The Dalai Lama has come to Vancouver to teach us to re-educate our hearts. There are many other award winning people joining him in a powerful conference. They are only repeating the true message of Jesus:
kindness - yes
compassion - definitely
peacefulness - he lived it
honest - he confronted evil where ever he found it even in the pious.
Bold yet sensitive - he could not be controlled
forceful - he recognized that sin darkens the soul and makes us captives to delusions
healer - his touch and his presence was healing.

Is turning water into wine any harder than turning doubters into believers?

ROSE-COLOUR GLASSES

Where are they?

Distinquishing reality from truth!

THE UNEXPECTED ADVENTURE

Just think how exciting it must have been for the disciples when Jesus turned the water into wine. They had started out on this adventure not knowing Jesus, not knowing where they were going, not knowing what their mission was. If they were as human as the rest of us a miracle would have stirred up excitment and faith in their hearts. Jesus wants to bring joy into our lives! Nothing but the best of wines for those who are celebrating.

They had sacrificed jobs and homes risking all to follow Jesus. What an absolutely daring way to begin!

Positive emotions do give you energy!

Faith challenges us to take risks and see religion as more than a set of rules but a call to adventure. A on going adventure. For some it has been a lonely path but most of us are called into community to find spirituality and growth.

We enjoyed a visit with Rick and Carol this morning and it did dad a world of good. We did miss church again but will be at Bible study on Wed. I believe that is where we laugh together and just enjoy each other and end with praying together.

I am sorta wandering around this afternoon not really feeling like doing much. I have taken some pictures but am not too happy with my pictures.

Was Jesus a revolutionary? Can he bring joy into empty lives and hearts today?

THE COOKIE EXCHANGE

I do not take good pictures inside.

Ben hot and tired after doing Terry Fos run at school.

Morgan has had enough

Gramma Panteli listens to Morgan

This is Theresa' dark room.

It is beautiful but I should have put on flash.

Had a great visit with Theresa Morgan and Ben. Carol and Morgan and I walked by the river, what a beautiful time of year fall is. Morgan was delighted with the falling leaves. I will down load my pictures after breakfast.

I brought cookies and came home with a dozen more!

I am sorry Theresa and Morgan have celiac but what a blessing to me.
Theresa knows so much more than I do and it is nice to know some one
knows how you feel. There is an emotional as well as physical unbalance!

ONE DAY AT A TIME

The natural joy children have having fun

Dad's fish and chips-a simple choice

One of dad's favorite places at White Rock

A little view of Mount Baker

The tide is in and the water is calming and healing. A simple joy!

A look along the beach walk.

Tis the gift to be simple
Tis the gift to be free

QUESTIONS

Dad and I take time to enjoy the beach at White Rock. Good soul food!

Ben looks like he is worried about coming down!

No question about Kim's energy and enthusiasum!

Is it good to be a questioner?

Why do I feel so weak?

Why after drinking tow cups of water and coffee; which is suppose to do me good, do I feel too full to eat?

Why am I eating glutin-free cranberry, lemon scone? Because a good friend who likes to cook brought it over for me.

Why are both her and her husband out of work? She is very, very qualified with a Masters.


Do I really believe that I can be strong and healthy?

Or do I learn to live and cope with who I am and how I am?

"Being Well When we are ill" is the book Jane has given me.

I believe unanswered questions are a part of our humanity which means that we will always struggle with the problems in our own lives as well as others.

Why do we hide our deepest emotions and push them into the darkest corner of our minds?

I believe in the power of prayer and we are to learn more about being compassionate and understanding of others.

"Why do we struggle [not me] but others do with the maleness of God; when in the mystery of His transcendence is non-genered?" quote from the book.

My joy will always be anchored in the gift of knowing Jesus and knowing that God can use our brokenness, our weaknesses and even our mistakes in this crazy world that causes us to question many unfair things.

NOW

Now is the season for all the late blooming flowers to show their colours.

Now it is time to wrap myself in God's love and dream good hopeful dreams!

"NOW" I think this is the most common words used by mother's to convey they really mean it.
Now is the time for me to get some answers so I have to know the questions to ask the two doctors, the one did the colon test and the other my family doctor. I was feeling extremely weak yesterday but I am learning to eat a bit better with my new slider. I think well other people have done it why cann't I.

Now I know people are praying for me and that is encouraging got my spirit, body and soul. I will always believe in the power of prayer to give me the strength and wisdom for now. I believe that the church is going through a difficult time and does not seem to reach our young people.
Going to church becomes a habit and a prority and I am thankful for all the experiences I have had a different churches.

I have wanted answers to my questions but there are always more questions. I believe that the scriptures help us with our questions and our answers. I know now that only Love is real and that it is an endless journey. Because we are imperfect and live in a imperfect world. I have the power to open my heart, to turn on the switch, that lets me feel the light that is shining on us all and within us. This releases JOY realizing that everything in our life has a purpose even the sickness and sadness that have shadowed our hearts.

Now is the time for healing!

NOW is the time to dream new Dreams . A photo class?

HONESTLY

THE SUN RISING ON EQUINOX

THE MORNING STAR

I was honestly wondering when people ask how you are do they really want to know?

Well I have my tooth set but there is no room in my mouth for food. I honestly did not know that a slider, which is what I have in my mouth, would be this plastic insert in the roof. I can't eat with it in or out. I am afraid to take it out.

Do I feel I have to punish myself for making a stupid mistake?

Christianity as I know it is changing. My parents thought going to church was the way to live your faith and never thought of searching out the truth of scripture. Today we are looking at Jesus to find our living faith and taking a new deeper and more honest look at the scriptures and who wrote them. Jesus calls us to follow him by doing and caring for others.

What Jesus taught cannot be separated from the life we lived and calls us to live.

Honestly what is a true believer?

"Religion at it's best should be biblically responsibe, intellectually honest, emotionally satisfying and socially significant" Robin R. Myers Saving Jesus from the Church.

I honestly like to be around others who are passionate about what they believe and who encourage me to share my faith and to keep learning

"Community,' said Os Guinness, "is essential"

THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER!

We had lunch outside by our pond.

This is from last Monday Morgan showing us her room.

Dad takes a picture of the little boy's view.

We had a good day yesterday. I am feeling so much better and dad went for a bike ride.

Then we went shopping at Zeller's after I had a little nap and came home and had a late lunch outside. The weather was perfect which helps everyone feel better.

Today it is off to the dentist today for me where I will get glued back together I hope.

Dad suggested I take the sunrise because it is Equinox Day. Usually he says why don't you stay in bed longer.

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

We had a good day yesterday!

ONE MORE DAY TO LIVE!

WITH THIS VERY VERY LOOSE TOOTH

I am scaired to eat because it feels like my tooth is going to come out.

Thankfully I see the dentist to-morrow.

Today dad hopes to pick up the car and I should pop over to the Nursing Home to explain why I did not come and will not be there this Thrus. because of doctor appointments.

It is another wonderful fall day and I've had a good walk.

CHANGING JESUS

DURING THE DAY THE SKY IS BLUE

EVENNING SKY BRINGS THE THREAT OF RAIN WITH DARK CLOUDS

Every day I look at the sky and it is always different.

Everyday is a challenge to learn something new

or to delve deeper into a certain subject!

I believe that Jesus is the heart and soul of Christianity

and there is always changing views of his message.

Jesus was not always identified as one with God until the Niceaea General Council in 325.

Arius who had a different view was condemned as a heretic

and he was excile by the Emperor Constantine.

Jesus has been viewed in many different terms as changing times presented new ideas.

Jesus, the Mind of the Cosmos, was the Christian philosophers view of Jesus as as intellectual and scientific views became the modern view in the fourth and fifth century.

Jesus, the Rationalist, was the view in the eighteenth century during a time of enlightenment.

The Poetic Jesus, as personal religious experience inspired many especially the poets and artists. Emerson was one who stressed the living Christ who can be experienced here and now.

Jesus, The Liberator, arose out of the liberation movement.

Jesus, The Rabbi, The Teacher, The Healer, The Prophet

becomes the Savior and The Deliverer.

Jesus touches the untouchable with love,

Jesus forgives the unforgiveable with mercy,

Jesus brings new life,

as we come to see him with new eyes and a open heart.

We all see what we want to see and no more.

New books are still being written by people like John S. Spong

to challenge the traditional faith that I grew up with.

Now it is "Saving Jesus from the Church" by Robin Meyers.

"The first step must be backwards.

We have been travelling down the creedal road of Christendom since the fourth century,

when a first-century spiritual insurgence was seduced into marrying its original oppressor.

Before there were bishops lounging at the table of power,

there were ordinary fishermen who forsoke ordinary lives to follow an intinerant sage down a path that was not obvious, sensible, or safe,

He might as well said, "Come die with me."

A SPONGE

IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE THE SUN THIS MORNING. EVERY SUNNY DAY IS A BLESSING.

I feel like a sponge that just wants to absorb.

The goodness of God.

The love that surrounds me.

The beauty I see!

I certainly do not feel like a Martha but just like Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus. Although my energy is returning; and I feel bad that I could not go visiting with my germs, there are some things that we are not in control of.
Growing old is just a fact of life. We are now watching "Waiting For God" a British Comedy about people in a nursing home and having a good laugh.
Carol took me to a special bakery in New Westminster where the baker bakes the best glutin-free bread. I asked him what was his secret he said he makes his own glutin and it is a painstaking process. The bread tastes just like real normal bread. I wonder how long it took for him to perfect this process.

Dad is not feeling all that well with one thing after another. Now I am saying I do wish you would go to the doctor. I know they do not seem to help that much but even a little help can prove helpful. We have to go with questions that's for sure.

No church for me today I am sure no-one wants my germs and I donot want to start coughing at church.

DISGUISE

I spent the morning im bed watching the young boys climbing around the roof across the street

I think I am going to have to go over to the Safeway wearing a disguise as I meet so many people I know. It is good to have a chat but it worries dad when he knows I am a little under-the-weather and taking a long time. I think we worry about each other more now.

We are struggle with our own weaknesses and at times try to disguise our feelings but I think worry, anger, generosity, irresponsibility and thoughtlessness will always be a part of who we really are. These are spiritual challenges as we seek to become more understanding of others.


Last night I was amazed at all the noises that you hear when you are not sleepimg. The rain sounded preety heavy and there were cars coming and going and even the house was making strange noises.

The message at church to-morrow is "Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People"

I think it is mostly because life is unfair and we grow more facing difficult problems. We may not see it at the time but looking back we may. We know that we have to grow intellectually as we know ourselves and each other.

A good night sleep is a real blessing.

REACHING

Times have changed, especially where we reach out for help. The inter-net has become a great scource of help. When our frig. stopped working yesterday dad turned to the inter-net for information on how to fix it. The advice was good and it worked but it was a big job moving the frig. out and cleaning the back and defrosting the freezer. We look to the inter-net for all kinds of advice including health.

How does the story of the woman reaching out to touch the edge of Jesus's garment believing that she would be healed; how does that have any meaning for us today? Jesus told her her faith had healed her. What do people put their faith in? Who do they put their faith in? And why are there so many angry people? Why are the poor and helpless still abused? Why are there still wars and more wars when we all want peace? Why is independance robbing us of community? We all want security and happiness but are we reaching out in the wrong places and instead of being reassured finding disappointment and emptiness?

I reach out for comfort in the words of scripture.

Jesus appearing to the troubled disciples said, "Why are you trouibled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?

Look at my hands and feet. It is I myself!

Touch me and see." Luke 24 : 38

I am now fighting a miserable flu like cold and I am looking a little run down but I should not be. Celiac is an autoimmune disorder triggered by the ingestion of gluten, a major protein in wheat and other related grains. This disorder is now being passed down in our family to our grand daughter Theresa and maybe to Morgan her daughter.

My faith in the power of prayer that enables me to reach out to the healing presence of Jesus is the greatest scource of strength for me. I feel others praying for me as I pray for them.

EMBRACING DOUBT

Often our inability to accept God's perfect love for us is not a question of doubting Him but our own worthiness. Another is unanswered prayer; certainly in our way in our time. The sign out front for all to see.

A small door on the far side of the church building

Doubt can be the door to believing if we are willing to move from where we are to a new place.
Doubt imprisions us just like these bars.

I could not believe it when I was told that they are closing Newton Regency; and that all the people are being moved out. There is a very nice building that are now closing their doors.
I think that for me this may mean other doors for me to venture into. I would like to regularly visit one friend who feels lonely.

It was good yesterday to get back among church friends. First the U.C.W. meeting in the morning then our Bible study group in the evening The grace of God transforms our human doubts so that the door of faith beckons us to discover what lies beyond.

In my dream there was a long hallway with many doors. doors waiting to be opened if I so choose. There will always be questions but we keep seeking and looking and as we share this journey with others we are blessed.

Behind one door there is great laughter! I admitt I use to be offended when religion was made fun of but I am seeing more humour now; and hey even Jesus had a sense of humour!

I know that there will be gluten free cookies when I enter Deborah and Lane's door.

I seem to be getting lots of help in my desire to stick to gluten free living! !

THE FIRE OF LOVE

Reader's beware! Today it is a perfect fall day but soon rain and cold days will want us to turn on the fire place.

Whether it is a fire in a fire place or a candle burning there is something that fascinates us.

The beautiful colours that dance before our eyes seem to touch our hearts with the spirit that is beyond us and yet burns within us.

Through the power of prayer to One I call God, others may call this higher power, the Universe, the All, the Absolute, the Groundof all Being, the Source, the True Light but the names do not matter for the Listener hears the whisper of all our hearts that expresses a desire to be loved.

Why did Moses experience God from within a burning bush. Why did God guide the people with a pillar of light and why did fire fall on the alter and burn up the sacrifices that Elijah had prepared. Why?

The love of God is so passionate, so alive, so powerful, so amazing that it can burn in our hearts as no other love because His love is pure and holy and will never be put out.

You and I are living in that love that gives us life and strength and has promised never to leave us.

If we had eyes to see into the spiritual realm maybe we would see the tongues of fire that came to rest on the believers on the day of Pentecost. We can disagree about theology and express our religion in different ways but let the fire of the Holy Spirit humble you and fill you with grace.

This is speculative philosophy or I call it divine immagination trying to describe" the desire beyond desire." [John Caputo]. To John of Syracuse University, God is not static, unchanging, and all-powerful but the dynamic source of inspiration- of truth, peace and justice.

I would add that God is the source of all LOVE that is being poured out upon us. I have a deep appreciation for the Bible but also for mystical experience. This goes beyond the awe of nature.

Prayer is the door to allowing scripture and the spirit to move beyond the intellect into a dream reality. I am not sure if that is the right word "dream" but it will do.

UNDECIDED

I can be undecided about a lot of things. Life seems full of hidden complexities. I AM UNDECIDED ABOUT WHICH BOOKS TO GIVE AWAY.

The weather can be undecided. Will it rain or be sunny today?

"You're gonna have to serve somebody" Bob Dylan

Do I think my decisions affect very much in this world? Am I serving goodness or not?

Every day we make small and big decisions. I go shopping at the grocery store and there are a great many choices. I look for bargains because I want to have a choice about what I spend my money on.

This time of year a lot of requests come in from different charities. It is hard to decide which to give to or whether to give at all. Where will my little bit of money do the most good?

Then I have a choice about how I will use my time that is not structured.

Life tempts us with many choices. I have to decide what is good and what is evil.

What is the will of God for my life? Does God care? Is it important to doubt @ question?

Who am I serving? my self? worldly values or Godly values?

"Only after you struggle with evil and chose goodness will you accomplish true and complete goodness."

I believe that underneath our worldly values and business there lies an inner doubt that calls to us to search for spiritual truth. As evenning comes the light that has been standing unneeded will now come on. There seems to be a hunger for spiritual reality mixed in with a lot of movies and stories about witchcraft. Good witchcraft is glorified. Children are drawn to monsters and wierd creatures and this has always been the way.

Many stories are about the power of good or evil. At times I feel undecided but also helpless by what I read about in the papers and hear in the news.

Does fear affect our decisions?

Is biased information useless or does it help us decide to make more of an effort to do what seems right?

If I want to be healthy I have to decide whether to go to the doctor, what food to eat and what pills to take. I know that I am responsible for my own health and I am blessed with the good health I have although I get tired easily it is just my body. At this point I am undecided about going to a naturalpath among other things like when to drive up to see Rick or what church to go to.

Who do I believe? What do I really believe? Does it matter? Does my faith affect my children?
If I believe that fate is controlling my life then my choices are unimportant.

If I believe that God is guiding me and speaks to me through my experiences then I believe I make freer and better choices.

I question whether I should even continue to blog. But here I am again writing away!