ENSHROUDED

Feeling so fortunate to be alive!

She was standing near the door right where I would pass by.  She was covered all in black except for her eyes.  I  wonder how it must feel inside her face is it all hot and stuffy?  Her eyes look a little frightened as she realizes how different she looks than everyone else in the store.
I walk towards her and I would like to ask her if she has a choice about wearing that burka or is she forced to do it?  Instead I smile at her and say that I think the sliver sparkles in her head dress are lovely.  Her brown eyes smile back at me and she nods thank you.
One advantage I think to myself is all my wrinkles would be covered especially on my neck.
She is probably young and beautiful while I am facing the complexities of aging and slowing down.

"We are all related to one another
What ever one does,
Or what happens to another, touches all."

We live in a world of so much violence and tragedy that can allow fear into our minds and hearts and even dreams.  I know that sometimes part of my problem is a negative self-judgemental attitude that a world that demands performance pushes upon me. 

I look back at my life and see the experiences that have profoundly changed me.  Giving birth was one of the most powerful and then being a mother who loved each child the best she could.  My desire is to live in this world with joy and not with fear.  Facing twice a threat to my health that was life threatening; first the wrong diagnoses from the doctor who limited my days of life to the night I faced the fear of lung cancer when I had to face all that could happen and reach out for courage again from a loving God who somehow has turned my life into a spiritual experience that I am able to share with others.

Dad and I had a late lunch sitting out in our back yard and enjoyed the warmth of the fall sunshine.
He had had a big bike ride and was pretty darn tired and I had packed the car and gone to the store.
When I got home a lady came to the door saying she had no food and did I have any cans she could have.  I had a few but instead gave her some food that we always seem to have extra of.  You try to help people and I think that if I do it with a generous heart maybe that is the best I can do.

Life is enshrouded with mystery that at times seems like a puzzle that needs solving.

Very straightforward today, cut the lawn and clean up the garden before the rain comes and do visiting.

I pray first for myself this morning.  I am so thankful not to have to be driving in the heavy traffic that has gotten so bad lately.

RAIN OR SHINE

                                 Yes I still go for my walk, rain or shine, dark or light, long or short.


Still so many beautiful flowers that catch each drop.
As I stop to take a picture my heart slows down and all seems still around me.  There is so much beauty in creation it fills the mind with wonder and the soul with stillness and calm. 

'Life comprises both the ordinary and extraordinary moments when we need to be still to imagine and dream and nurture ourselves."  -Ed Bacon.

“Our lives are like a house.  Some people are  allowed on the lawn, some onto the porch, some even get inside to the kitchen and yes really intimate relationships into the bedroom.”   -Louise Penny

Our lives can appear almost perfect on the outside but unless I can be open emotionally no one will really get to know me.  I often find if I share something the other person will have felt just the same way.

Thankfully I am not alone in forgetting what I was going to say even in mid sentence!

My goal is not to react to life with anxiety or fear and not to react badly when things do not go my way. I welcome the different people into my life and a few into my heart!  Each day there needs to be time to grow in compassion and see the learning even in  the set backs.  And learn to be patient with this darn computer.

Good job dad is such a good help!

Dad helped me put the pictures of Lincoln on but the writing disappeared.

Dad went on a long bike ride through the forest and over to the pond so he had some great exercise and met some interesting people, which is also very important.

I washed a lot of things to take to Value Village so maybe we will do that today.

LINCOLN so tiny and precious!

Some very, very early pictures of Lincoln held by grandpa Randy in the hospital.  The happy parents looking on.

BEYOND TIME

" At the centre of the most turbulent heart there is a place of peace (waiting to be discovered) a place beyond time that cannot be changed by change or loss.
Here in this stillness is rest and healing. 
Nothing we suffer, nothing we fear, can change its perfection.
Enter this place of peace and learn the purpose of your life-not wealth or fame, but the recognition of your unity with all things.
Everything you have loved is here.  All joy.  All good.
No living thing has ever been lost to you".

-Pam Brown

So believable in the quiet moments but then the day gets messy.  I drop an object and it breaks in a million  pieces, I get a bad stomach ache on my walk and also start worrying about things I cannot change which is like bumping my head against the wall and on it goes until I take time  to calm.

So I finally get my camera that traveled with Sandra to take pictures of Shawna, Stephen and Lincoln and the battery is dead and we cannot find the charger.  I think I am being taught that I need to become more patient.

Patience it has been said is the very heart of love but the sad truth very few of us are born with it.

"Patience is the best insurance against all kinds of emotional and physical problems-and is essential in learning to slow down."  says Eknath Easwaran   J  think I am patient in a few things but still have much to learn.  I also believe this is a big part of spiritual awareness and inner healing.

Dad and I were considering going to the study at the church later in the day but coming home from the drive into River Road I had another bad stomach ache and was ready to flag down any passing police car for an escort but none showed up  so we just spaded home as fast as we could.  My tummy is  is still feeling unsettled so I will stay home.  Also feel a cold coming on so rest is the best way to fight it.

 

Time has just flown by today and I have found a lot of things I did not know where missing.  I am also getting things ready to drop off to value village or phone Big Brothers.

"Every moment is a new beginning!  Every breath we take is a Holy gift and a time to bring dreams to life".  Church Bulletin  Only by tuning into the silence can we journey beyond time.

HOME

I love these windows and the trees near by.  This is not a home but has a homey feel to it.  The feel that each one of us bring into our homes so that they reflex who we are and what we value.

This little squirrel is trying to decide if he should come in for a visit.  Actually he is going to be going to  Value Village with the two big animals, the Gorilla and the Panda.
The top of our fence has become a highway for the squirrels to run along carrying peanuts or acorns in their mouths.  We do not know where they are going but they sure are busy.  Two were making out I think on our chair and they both fell off.  More information than you wanted.

Sort of like my friend I met walking today telling me about divorce court.  I guess she needed some one to listen so it was me.

Had a hard time finding the right phone number for my third cousin that lives in Australia.  They have such strange numbers.  Dad found it on the computer so it has redeemed itself.  She has poor eye sight so can not read letters very well so we have lost touch,  She was very pleased to hear from me.  She told me about all her friends and family are not well but in a happy sort of way.  Yes, it is all apart of getting older.

Rain and fog made the day dreary but I had better get use to it.  Shopping to do and a trip to the library to pick up our group discussion book.

"The one who masters the grey everyday is a hero."
-F. Dostoyevesky

FALL

Fall the birds are gathering and will soon be on their long journey.
Talked to Carol and she sounds like she has laryngitis and has had a bad time with chills and a sore ear drum.  Hopefully she is on antibiotics today.

Yesterday I had a fall from grace not only losing my temper with the computer but with dad.  All is forgiven thankfully.  We are going to have to have a change in lifestyle as dad with his sore feet is content to stay home where I need to go out more.  I have to make myself drive or do more walking.
Lessons in patience and humility for us both!

Had a good long talk with my brother Brian and Traudel and am so thankful for the phone. 
They are still having health issues and the extra difficult part is they have to drive to Cranbook or to Calgary for treatment.

Will go to church today and listen for Good News that will inspire me and lift my spirits.

I understand that things are strongest where they are broken.  Me

LIFE FORCE

"The human spirit, just like the sea,  needs both inflow and outflow,  to foster life and create energy"

 

The more compassion and love we give the more we will receive.

 

The Universe is kind.

 

When we allow negativity to dominate we find fault with who we are and who others should be.

The Universe becomes a dog eat dog kind of place.

 

The Universe is not fair.

 

Sometimes we do not know how another person feels unless we talk things over.

 

I find I need ideas and goals for my life to become worthwhile. 

 

I will continue visiting at the Seniors Home when I was there I rang for the elevator to go up stairs and the door open to a lady slumped over her walker.  She was very confused and unable to move. I was doing my best to help her when a worker came along and it took the two of us to get her to sit down on her walker and take her back to her room.  I want to visit her next week when I go.  She was so grateful to me.

I am  also back  visiting  Mrs. G.    She is doing fine on her own.  It will be great if Larry and I can do some visiting together as he is not able to do his Hospice training with his feet so painful.

 

I haven  on a project of clearing up a small corner of a vacant lot across from McDonald's.  It is a mess of broken bottles and paper cups etc.  I will do a little bit each morning.  It is one of my little goals.

   

The earth is holy,

The feet that walk on it are blessed.   

Chief Dan George.                          

 

                                        Human kind has not woven the web of life

                                        We are but one thread within it

                                         Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves

                                          All things are bound together and connect

                                           Chief Seattle

                                                        

All we can try to do is make life easier for those who struggle and bring beauty into the place we are.