WAITING

Waiting for my partner in crime to go walking in the forest. I have a busy day planned. We need to do a big grocery shopping and then I need to go visiting at the Nursing Home. Evidently us humans would be bored to death if we lived in a perfect world and then there are those of us who would not feel at home in it. If I did every thing right dad would have nothing to complain about; as it is I give him lots of ideas!

Running after happiness is like seeking perfection in my life or others, it just tries one out. We do live in an unpredictable world of disaster upon disaster. There are oil spills like in the Gulf of Mexico, hurricanes, wildfires, earthquakes not to mention cruelity, incompentence and stupidity. There are times of sickness and accidents etc.

"Including the divine in our reflections on our inner life [as well as th outer reality] is what elevates the spiritual tradition above and beyond psychology and self-help lessons." Everyday Holiness.

Faith for me opens the door to trust.

"Blessed be the one who trusts in the Lord
and the Lord shall be her source of trust." Jer. 17:7

Trusting helps me to calm my inner voice so that I can hear the needs of others and listen for the voice of God.

Just had a friend who I have been praying for have an amazing answer to prayer. Praise the Lord!

SCAREDY CAT

This is me too afraid to crawl out onto the tree limb because I am afraid of falling.
I have never like heights very much and certainly never liked flying. But I had the courage to fly a long ways away with dad to the Dominican Republic which I still find a little unbelievable.

We feared we had lost the cell phone but it has been found in a old jacket pocket. Well, I keep saying we have too many jackets.

As we get older we face the fear of losing our memories but I hope I never lose my sense of humour such as it is. Life is full of fearful things; like failure, debt, intimacy, giving stuff away, dancing, entertaining. Life is full of uncertainty.

"Openness doesn't come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.
We can't cultivate fearlessness without compassionate inquiry into the working of ego. Up come all these thoughts, but rather than squelch them or obsess with them, we acknowledge them and let them go. Then we come back to just being here."
Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chodron

"Our heart feels so vulnerable and tender we fabricate walls to protect it. It takes determined inner even to see the walls, and a gentle approach to dismantling them.

Learning to rest in openhearted basic goodness is a lifelong process. Courage and compassion. Opening our hearts to suffering without shutting down. Slowly we learn to uncover the limitless qualities of love, compassion, joy and equanimity, and to extend them to others. To train in making our hearts this big takes bravery and kindness."

There is a basic goodness that can link us to others. We are blessed when we remember " that in every moment we are in the midst of cosmic rendezvous with the divine source from which we cannot be separated, even for an instant, and live."
Everyday Holiness by Alan Morinis, the Jewish spiritual path of Mussar.

I was sorry the Canucks did not win last night but I am glad it did not go into over-time because I was too tired to stay up and cheer them on.

GREEN AND GREENER

Sunday, May 2nd, was very cold and windy and rainy. I knew it would rain because I had watered my garden on the advice of my gardener Sandra.

I was very proud of the amazing job that our church did in organizing the funeral service for over a hundred people. We do have different opinions but still work well together.

I am reading about our amazing bodies that are made up of all these cells. "Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain's functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts."
A review of the book "The Biology of Belief" written by Bruce H. Lipton.Ph.D

The important fact is that our genes do not control biology. Epigenetics, a new field of biology, is unraveling the mysteries of how the environment [nature] influences the behavior of our cells without changing the genetic code. It is a field that is uncovering new complexities in the nature of disease, including cancer and schizophrenia.

Drugs and surgery are powerful tools when they are not overused, but the notion of simple drug fixes is fundamentally flawed. Every time a drug is introduced into our bodies to correct function A, it inevitably throws off function B,C, or D.

This is hard for doctors who use drugs to try to restore the unbalance that is causing disease within us. I am hopeful that in the future doctors will work with other fields to treat illness.

What this means is that we are co-creators with God who designed us to be able to live "lives overflowing with peace, happiness and love." This calls for spiritual wisdom to feed the soul as well as good food to feed our bodies.

"We are made in the image of God. and we need to put Spirit back into the equation when we want to improve our physical and our mental health.

I will start by saying "I want to be me."

SLEEPLESS IN CRAIGIE BURN

Tyler and Hobey wake up early in the morning; early for them at their dad's house. They have come down for a short visit. There is never a dull moment with Matthew running here and there and little Jasmine needing care.

We had a good, one on one, visit on our computer skype. Tyler is going to be a fitness trainer, which is very needed now a days and Hobey is trying his hand at business.

They are talking of coming to Canada to work and to ski. Maybe they should just move here. Ken may come in July.

A busy weekend for Ken and Melina with Brittany the bar tender with many talents coming for a day and then the boys. We missed Jesse on skype but see he went to the airport. It is not all that easy to talk on skype but we do our best.

A NEW LANGUAGE

Every flower has its own beauty and fragrance and we each have our favorites that seem to speak to us.

Love, is the new language, that we need to add to become more beautiful in our own way. But knowing what is the loving thing to do is not always easy. Disagreement are very much apart of life even as we try to be loving. We all have our ideas of right and wrong. Every culture has its beliefs and traditions yet we all would agree that loving our family, caring for the elderly, the sick or the young and honesty are values we have in common.

We disagree in what is good and what is evil, even when we try to make ethical choices. There is the voice of our own conscience to guide us and help us to treat others as we would be treated. Do unto others seems like an easy answer but when it calls for altruism, truly selfless giving, which is the foundation of love we all fall short.

Christians are accused of being out of touch with reality, insensitive and judgmental to name but a few of our unloving ways. But I think at the bottom of many of our problems is a spirit of unforgiveness. We do not do a very good job of looking after each other and the world we live in. Yet I for one still believe that God still loves me and believes that I can become kinder and gentler and more compassionate to others. God seems to hear the sighing of our hearts even when our words are all wrong.

"God would have to be the embodiment of goodness."

Instead of feeling hostile to those who disagree with us we are called to love with "a love that calls us to save the drowning man even if he is my enemy."

An architect may put his heart and soul into what he is creating but he is still separate from it. Within each of us we find the design of the Creator influencing us to be more kind and generous and loving. If we look at our pets, like our dogs, they seem to love us unconditionally; and we respond to that love.

Maybe I can become the person God believes that I am.

INFLUENCES

Their our many things that influence our daily spiritual lives.

What a surprise to have Sandra come and work so hard on my garden. She has a good eye for colour and depth and beauty. Gardening will never be a passion for me as it is for her but I am gradually learning and being influenced by her love for it.

I was surprise that dad wanted to walk to the shops; so we walked through the little park and i took pictures of a pink dogwood and the stream we crossed over. We came home and had a message to skype the boys in Melbourne. We got caught up in their adventures and it was great to see Ken's boys all together.

We did not make it to the funeral but heard they were expecting over a hundred people. My prayers were with the family.

I am keeping my life simple which is not always that easy. There are things that I would like to do and that would help me feel more apart of the community of faith. I believe that we are influenced by the love "we find ourselves in" that becomes our story.

I am looking forward to church and maybe a trip to Carol's with Sandra or maybe just a walk in the Watershed Park with dad.

I am being influenced in my reading and searching by an x-Catholic Priest, a scientist, a medical doctor, a Buddhist nun. I started out on a straight path but have found it branching out and then coming back to the path where I started.

Each one challenges me to discover what I really believe.

COURAGE

Life takes a huge amount of courage. Constant pain and worry can drain us of energy and strength. I go through times when life seems a uphill battle but as I sit in my big old chair I watch the light reflecting and moving across the rug this small moment of beauty wakens new life in me.



Just last night as the night darkness closes in upon me as I wearily get ready for bed and I was thinking of all my children and their problems that seem endless. The moon and the stars and even the clouds remind me that there is light that is shining down on us all.

Today there will be a funeral service for a very special man who brought humour into the world of our church. We will gather with family and friends to remember his life and his courage.

Courage comes to me as I ask and I am reminded that I am worthy because I am loved and I have love to give. This is where the inner strength comes from. I choose to believe that I have been given all that I need for this day. I have to learn to say no to things I cannot do and that put too much strain on my body. I will walk a shorter way today and will take time to rest if and when I need it. I like all of us think we can do more than we have the energy and strength to do. I am the only one that knows how I feel and feeling older is not fun; but then all my life I have had a problem with fatigue; that being undiagnosed with Celiac for many many years did not help.

I am fortunate that as Mother's Day approaches the relationships in our family are being strengthened. Being a mom was exhausting fun but it was worth all of it.

Looking forward to being with family as we share our aches and pains, yes even my children are getting older and having to cope with aging. As we walked through the park yesterday, what a miracle dad is walking, I saw where the bike riders do there jumps and they looked so scary. I have never been a risk taker but am more comfortable with calm peacefulness.

THE BRAIN AND PRAYER

I am making an effort to pray with a thankful and believing heart. One song the elderly seem to remember is "Count your blessings, name them one by one".

It is now being proven that prayer activates different parts of the brain. Buddhists are known for their ability to calm their minds and meditate quietly.
I choose to put my trust in the words of scripture like Psalm 31.
In You O Lord; I put my trust. . . .
For You are my rock and my Fortress. . . .
For You are my Strength. . . . .
You have redeemed me.
O Lord God of Truth.

The Healing Power of Prayer - by Chester L. Tolson, Ph.D and Harold G. Koenig, M.D.