PRACTICE

                                               New life growing out of an old stump.

Creating something new out of the old is not easy and for me takes practice.

We have been given this long life for a reason; either to keep learning or to teach others.

With practice you cab improve even at 81!

With practice after every fall you can get up and keep going.

With practice we can travel through the dark times into the light.
Times of feeling hopeless and depressed.

With practice I am walking batter and further.

With practice I am writing better is I write slow and carefully.

With practice I can rest my brain as well as my body.

With practice I am learning to love wisely.

With practice I can grow spiritually in body soul and spirit.

With practice I am learning to accept who I am and what  have been given.

"The light of the soul can meet the light in the world.
in these hard earned moments, we glow in all directions.
The truth is being human."
Mark Nepo

EFFORT

                           Yes everything seems like an effort to me now that the weather is hotter.

The best part of the day continues to be the early morning when it is cooler and fresher.

Even listening to the sermon in church takes an effort.  Over the years I have listened to a great many sermons but each minister puts a different emphasis on the message.  Also when I read a story from scripture I see different things that were hidden and now they come to light.

Yes being a little hard of hearing does not help.

Even though we have heard and read the story of David and Bathsheba, of his adultery and murder, we see that although culture has changed in many ways, power still corrupts .

Just what does it mean to listen?  We all listen out of our own need to be powerful.  There also have been experiences when we have allowed ourselves to be touched by the pain and hurt of another.

Life is flowing all around us all the time reminding us to make an effort to listen.

I was just told about a great effort my dad made years ago when we had hosted Christmas dinner in our very run down army barracks.  The fuse keep breaking and the oven would quite and was not cooking.  I was bus running back and forth and it was a disaster.

Dad saw my father with tears running down his face in the hallway because his daughter was living in a dump and having a hard time.  I never knew this.  Actually we were quite happy there.

What I saw was a great amazing effort that my dad put on to be cheerful and express his pride in my efforts.

Our neighbor ended up cooking the turkey for us and we put on our hats after busting the Christmas crackers and had a good time with my brother and his wife Traudl and my mom and dad.

Life does take an effort everyday in many different ways,

FULLFILMENT

"We are apart of life fulling itself with every beat of our heart.
blood is being pumped through our body with each beat of our heart
each life follows its mysterious path on the journey to fulfillment.

How do we find our path?

We become many things: a learner, a listener, a helper, a musician, an artist, a writer, a reader, a giver and a taker, a worshipper.

As a young mother I put caring for my children, trying to meet their needs, and putting my own needs aside.  I was tired and developing health issues.  I was not a part of the Air traffic Control women's group.  I often felt alone.

We moved to another one level house mainly because of my health.  I felt very sad moving away from our first home and the routine that I had gotten used to.

"Will you ever bring a better gift to the world than the breathing respect
that you carry with you where ever you go right now."  -/William Stafford

My life changed when I found a dear friend Dorothy Wells, a soul mate with a great sense of humor and a caring heart. She talked me into joining a group of Baptist ladies who were studying the scriptures.  I was given a different perspective. I would start to question what I had been aught. 

Questions are the door to fulfillment not answers.

Prayer helped me to hear from God for myself!

SACRED

I believe that there should be no clear distinction between sacred and ordinary.  There are moments and places which make the ordinary come alive and it becomes sacred.

I think of moments when I meet friends at the store and we stop to chat and catch up on the ordinary things that make up our lives.  I am glad we had a visit with our old neighbor Cathy today hearing she is putting her house up for sale.  I chat with Jane as it is her birthday today and we remember all the times we celebrated together with our husbands.

We would meet at the Northwood Golf Course as it was halfway between here and Langley.  She is sad at losing her license and her car.  She loved to drive and we had many adventures with her driving all over town.

Even my walk is a sacred act as I smile at those I meet and enjoy a time of quiet prayer.

During the day I am thankful for these sacred moments in which we bless each other.

When there is trust in a relationship and a friendship it becomes sacred.

Going to church to-morrow is sacred because I feel it is a place of restoration and healing as well as friendship.

THOUGHTFUL

                                             Dad in a thoughtful mood.
                His knees were sore so he decided to rest his legs and not go for a bike ride
Instead we went out for lunch at Northwood Golf Club.  It is so beautiful there with flowers  and trees.

We did not sit out on the patio because it was warm in the sunshine.  Younger people did and that was okay for them.  As we get older we find that we have to make changes in our diets which is not that easy.  The thing us we have friends who have been very diet conscious and who also exercise and their health is failing.

I find that I do not ask the question of why life can seem unfair but how can I learn to cope with it.
Unanswered questions seem to be a part of being alive and forcing me to be patient and humble.

Walking helps me balance body and spirit as I continue to so a short daily walk on my own.

I know that we also learn to answer questions as we hear each other's stories and problems.
We share laughter as well as tears.

The body is slowly wearing out but I know that the heart is restored by wonder and healthy soul!

Happy Birthday Shandel!   Thank you for all your kind thoughts and words,.

GRATEFUL

                      Too hot to do much today so dad and I st out in his shade deck and read.
This is after I had my two walks and dad had a bike ride.  So cool in the forest which was great.

Yes I think it is a miracle when your family surrounds you with love and makes you feel beautiful again!  It is a joy to reach this age and to feel valued and wanted.

Every work on every card or on every phone call was a real blessing.  Moments to add to other cherish memories.

I am remembering never to take anything or anyone for granted and continuing to learn what is
important in life.

The food was delicious and the cake totally unique as only Carol can do!

Grateful that Ken had a good doctor to do his surgery and is feeling okay today.

Matthew will be celebrating his birthday to-morrow..  I hope his card arrives in time.

Thank you all I am so grateful to have such a wonderful, caring family!

JOYFUL

                     Morgan enjoys riding on her swan.

A very happy great grandma and Grandma and Ma.

Everyone pitched in to make this a memorable day where I felt surrounded with love.

Came home to lots of phone calls from my brother and his wife, Shawna and Stephen. Cameron and Shandel,Mary and Simone,  my good friend Lee and also our good fiend Ron Ateah.

 My heart was full!

SUNNY DAY

                It is always a sunny day on my birthday.  I walk my usual early morning walk alone.

Hopefully Ken is getting his procedure over and done with and some good news after.

Our friends Pat and John are dropping by bringing some vegetables from the garden..  No carrots this time as they do not like the hot weather and they try to protect them with their shade umbrella.

My birthday party is at Carol and Panteli's home and I am looking forward to having a fun time.

No last minute plans have changed.  We will be at SAndra and Randy's.

I am thankful for an interesting life and for thoughtful, caring family and friends.

Yes the gift I am choosing to give back  is to be cheerful and happy.

                                                             Happy Birthday to me!

SURPRISES

I look outside my patio door and there are four raccoons squished in our little pond.  A mother with her little ones.  They soon leave but one tiny one has a hard time getting out and up the tree onto the fence.  She has to hurry to catch up.  We have just seen the mother so this was a surprise.

It was a surprise when I met Joanne on my early morning walk.  I was happy to see her and we had a good chat.  We have similar health issues that we share.  Fatigue for one thing,  She has fibermalaga
that gives her pain.

She walks me to the door and then runs into Aneta as she leaves.  Aneta looks hurt as she asks me if I still want to go for a walk with her.  I smile and reassure her.  She has lots to tell me about working out the mortgage and problems at the bank.  I remind her she is stronger than she thinks.

After she leaves I feel like a teen-ager again over friendships.  This surprises me.

I had little time to think as it was off to the doctor's to get the hormone shot.

What a surprise dad went right in as soon as he arrived.
It was not even too too painful and it does not hurt now.

Conversations are important in any relationship.

Dad and I talk when we get home but I am the one who cannot keep my eyes open.

That is no surprise!

HIGHLIGHT

Yes the arrival of Leah and Craig with Astrid was the highlight of our day.

She was more serious on this visit.

I try to make her smile and she starts to cry.

She now is able to sit up and play.

She is getting cuter with every visit.

Craig and Leah have their handsful with these two especially at night.

The amazing thing is that they still have a sense of humor.

We started the day by sitting in our front yard under the trees and by the running pond. I like that it is a cool spot but also we are hidden from view.  I read a few quotes while dad does his puzzle.

"You are a blessing to be discovered by yourself."  

"Wisdom waits in your heart like a buried treasure."

=  Mark Nepo

I opened the door to the back yard as soon as I woke up which is about 5 or 5:30 now.  It is cool and quiet and a good way to start the day slowly.  At 6 I go for my first walk of the day by myself aware of my surroundings noting my neighbors are starting out to.  T.J. gives me a wave as he passes in his red truck.  

Next I go with Aneta and her dog Lucy.  Se is always so happy to see me.  She is well behaved.

After the visit dad goes for a bike ride.  There is a smell of smoke in the forest and the firemen are there but all seems to be under control,

  Tomorrow which is Tuesday he will get his first hormone injection.  He is not looking forward to it.

It will be the highlight of our day!

Every visit of family or friends means a lot to us as they grace us with their presence and their love!

INTROSPECTION

        I sat in church thinking more than listening as I find it a good place to be introspective.

I believe that this is a good thing to do let go of the past and welcome the future.  I want to be more patient and kind and helpful. I want to be more open to the beauty of wonder expressed in faith.

It was a good day at church just being with friends and feeling like it is a second home to me.

I asked the minister to pray for Ken as he goes a second time to get the polyps removed.  His surgery was bumped last time and the preparation is so miserable it was very disappointing.  He knows this is necessary and we hope the news will be good.  Sorry,Ken, you have had a bad week but hope everything improves.  They say troubles come in threes so now it is time for the good times. I will be praying for you on Wed. as it will be your Thursday.

.Our belief in goodness cannot eliminate the bad things that can happen in our lives.  The best I can do is be open and honest about the way I feel and the poor choices I have made.  And yes we all have been there and done that.

It has been very hot today and to-morrow will be the same.  So sad to see our forests go up in smoke and flames.  I have great respect for those fire fighters.

Dad and I are sitting outside waiting for the house to cool down.

I know that each one of us has inner resources that often are revealed in our introspection.

FRIENDS

                                         This is Aneta with her dog early in the morning.
                                          Her name is Lucy and she is Aneta's best friend.

This morning we went for our walk and met Joanne a friend we both know. Joanne was excited about answered prayer and as she talked I could feel Aneta stiffen and moving away.  She does not believe in prayer or in God but strangely she believes in the power of cynics who communicated with her dead husband.

I just let them express their beliefs and do not need to agree or disagree.  I do understand Joanne because we do share our beliefs.

Yes, we are all unique.

The sad things is that both these girls are lonely and want friendship.
But sometimes are insecurities get in the way.

Dad and I had a quiet day together.  He did get keys made for the back door so we will not get locked out again, I hope.

I ate a gluten blueberry muffin and I have broken out in a burning itchy rash that is driving me crazy.  At least I know what to do and not be so stupid again.  It is going to take a long time to get better.  It is called Dermatitis Herpetiforms and can be treated with can be treated with sulphone.  I hope to see relief if I stay clear of gluten.  I know I should not get too hungry or stressed because them I am tempted.

I believe that it is important to be open to the beliefs of others.

Be sensitive when sharing with friends.

I would not want kittens who have to stay indoors.

VTTAL

                                 Laughter and fun.  The raccoon was hungry last night!
                                         and ate the toys that were outside.

We now have our own swimming pool to put our feet into to keep cool.
I take time in the morning to  think about what is vital in my life.
The word caught my eye as I was reading.

Water, work, words worship, worthiness and walking.

Love and laughter,  listening, and learning.

Caring and compassion.

Tears and sorrows.

Dreams, destiny, destination and distance.

Cookies and cake and cheerful faces.

Creativity and generosity and thankfulness.

Memories, motions and morning.

Heart and soul and spirituality.

Health and healing honest, and hearing and hope.

                                    A visit from Morgan who can make me cookies anytime.

Carol and Pantlii drop by with Morgan before going to a movie.  They invite us to come which was very kind.  There was some lively discussion!

Today we are taking Aneta to the White Spot to celebrate the sale of her house and thank her for her early morning walks with me

                                                     Celebrations are vital too!

HEARING

Yes the only good thing about losing your hearing is that you have to learn to listen more carefully
I know I feel special when I know someone is listening to me.\
I know I raise my voice when I think I am not being understood.

Yes in our family we say there is time to use your indoor voice which is quieter than our outdoor voice.

Yes, even though I have struggled with my slow loss of hearing I have resisted getting tested.  I am not sure why?  Is it because old people need hearing aids?

If I want to keep in touch be a part of the conversation of life I realize that I need help.  Yes, they are very expensive and there are other ways we would like to spend our money.

Yes I am getting tired of saying "what did you say?" and I am sure others are tired of me saying it too.

I went for my short evening walk and I kept hearing this voice yelling.  I turned around and there was a young man about a block away but he did not seem to want my attention.  He kept yelling and I  felt like I should look back.  All of a sudden he and his friend had caught up to me and walked on by.  It was then I realized he had turrets syndrome and making uncontrollable sounds is part of it.

Both dad and I are definitely suffering from hearing loss which also reminds us that we are getting old.  I believe it also drains us of energy.

Dad had a two hour session at the dentist getting his teeth cleaned and some how he and the lady doing the job find time listening and talking to each other.

Yes Another good thing to get done.  Now it is time for my first walk of the day.

"A mutual interest in the life around us is the basis of reverence."
Mark Nep

READINGS

This is a pile of books for my summer readings.

I can choose what I am going to read.

Some choices in life are easier than others.

At this time in my life I have to find energy from other sources than my physical body.

I picture my life as a journey on a boat.  

I set  our with a goal and a destination I want to achieve.

The wind of change blows with such a harshness I put into a safe harbour.

I am happy to be alive but I can start worrying that I could have taken another route and achieved my goals.  It is no good thinking about this because I feel that I have done my best and now I can rest.

My blogging has now become my calling!

I have a pile of books for my summer reading, one light fiction and the rest serious. 

The author of my serious books is  Mark Nepo who faced brain and cancer in his rib which was painfully removed.

  

"Cancer stopped me, humbled me,frightened me, threw me off course, turned me upside down and inside out.  I was terrified and lost living with pain and with fear."  Mark Nepo

He writes about the lessons learned from sufferings but also from everyday experience that continue to teach us to respect all life and to open our heart and our soul to whatever healing is possible.

Suffering and illness affects everything we do in life from our work to our relationships to our very soul of who we are.

I ask myself what can I do today that will help me renew strength and energy?

Dad has finally started talking his pills that he takes before his hormone shot next week.  He is not sure just what his reactions will be but I believe it is important to keep up his bike riding if possible.  He rode in the Watershed park but this time there was a young girl on the path ahead of him and he did not want to scare her so he rang his bell and shouted loudly and then even louder.  Yes he did not want to startle her coming up from behind her.  He was amazed she did not seem to hear him.  She fortunately turned off the path.

Dad and went to Costco to bet some GF bread, half the price.  I left his wandering around by the electronics but after I checked out I saw him wandering away.  I shouted at him "Hey"and everyone else turned to look at me except him  

"WE will not perish for want of information

(not in this time)

but only for want of appreciation. . . 

What we lack is not a will to believe

but a will to wonder. . .

Reverence is one of our answers to the presence of mystery."

-Araham Heschel

QUESTIONS

Life continually asks us to question ourselves.  What is our motive?  Who are we try to please?
why does life seem unfair?Is life worth living?  How can I help bring a little thankfulness, a little word of comfort and peace to some one who thinks it is not.  No one can solve her problems for her.

Where can I find answers?

Have I taken the time to grieve the past and am now ready to welcome each new day?

I am puzzled at some of the answers Jesus gives but I realize that he too asks many questions.

Who do they say I am?

Who do you say he is?

Why are you looking at the speck in the eyes of another when you have a plank in your own?

Who of you can add to your life by worrying about it.?

Why are you afraid?  Have you no faith>

Do you believe that I can heal you?  He asks the blind man.

Why are you criticizing this woman who has anointed my feet with oik out of her love for me?

Are you sleeping?  Could you not stay awake and pray for one hour?

Even our faith can ask us questions.  Are we ready for the answers.

Dad rode his bike in the Water Shed and a young couple who were worried and lost asked for directions.  He told them the easiest way was to exit at the far end of the park and walk to the entrance where they parked their car.  They did not follow directions.

I think this is part of our problem we do not like the answers and want instead yo go our own way.

If only we could feel and know  we live inside a miracle that is called life!

We can take turns finding answers for each other.as we continue to question and seek answers.

Life is fragile and I want to keep believing in the power of prayer and the hope pf a miracle.

Finally realizing the answer lies within our own soul.

MOMENT BY MOMENT

Enjoy a simple day of simple moments that add joy to my heart!                        

                  The joy of waking up early to the coolness of the morning and  the song of the birds.
   The crow is making a racket that I would not even call singing more like scolding the whole world.
                                                                  I have to laugh.

I decide I will go on a very early walk at my own speed and my own path.  It feels good to walk a little faster with my morning burst of energy.  It feels good and I meet some of my early morning walking friends.

Pat has a crows nest in the tree in her front yard and they are diving down on her each time she comes out the front door.  These are to same ones that attacked Aneta and myself.  She tricked them by appearing with an umbrella over her head..  She was the friend who came to call when she had missed seeing me walk after my accident.  She is a strider with kits of energy and purpose in her walk.

I talk to Coleen whose week-end plan was to have a birthday for the one year old twins but instead  a funeral was arranged for her husband;s sister.  Life certainly does not go according to our plans.

I enjoy watering the flowers who are looking droopy because I neglected them for one day.

Dad and I discuss where to take the trunk load of food.  It is a long drive to the main food bank.  We drive over to the Firehall ut they tell us they are not collecting it any more.  Then we head to the Safeway where they are mre than pleased to help us.  A young boy comes out to the car and loads up the cart.  He chats away telling us he is going to Whistler for his birthday.

I pick up several books that dad ordered for me from the library.  My favorite author now, Mark Nepo.  We saved a lot of money but dad reads a little and suggests we should maybe get a copy of our own.

I clean out the frig. and dad washed the sticky floor before going to Canadian Tire.  I forgot to remind him to take he Canadian Tire money.

We talked to Carol who is taking Kim to the airport to visit Hamlet.  We make plans to drive in and see them later.

Now it is the moment for me to have a rest, a well deserved rest.

"To learn how to ask for what we need
only to practice accepting what we're given.
This is our journey on Earth."
=Mark Nepo

STORIES

We had a good relaxing visit with Craig's parents

Germaine and Willy!

Yes we heard some stories about Craig that he has kept quiet about all these years.  Even some of Leah which was a change as she is always telling stories about us!

Growing up in Ashcroft was an interesting time for them both.

We shared about our early years and heard stories about theirs too/

Ophelia found some chocolate candies I had hidden from grandpa.

He has now decided to cut down on sugar because of a Ted Talk he watched.

I know I should do that too.

We stayed in the house as it was cool until Ophelia led the way out to the back.

Astrid had a short nap before sitting out back on her mom's knee.

I wish there had been a little more breeze.

The message at church was to be open to the moment and surrender to the light of grace that surrounds you.  Faith and prayer are an important part of my story.

Some moments like hearing the stories of others, or taking a picture of a beaver pond, or holding a baby or just sitting dreaming can be healing and calming.

To-morrow we drop off a trunk load to food at the food bank,
We are a small but very generous community.

Our stories will live on even when our church closes.

SOUL WORK

There is healing and restoration power as we gather together as families

and as a church.  I cannot attend all the functions but I know I am always welcomed.

My soul is restored through the touch and love of others.

Nature reflects back to us the hidden beauty within our souls.

          Half of the work of the soul is to discover this beauty by just being true to ourselves
                  The other half of the work of the soul is to reach out and touch the lives of others..

Simone and I share the beauty and collection of her shells she gathered.  Each a treasure!

Community, which can be any number from one other to several others brings us together to share the love in our hearts with another.  A good sense of humor helps.  We do not always understand other people but we can try to listen and learn and grow.

There are times now when I need to reach out for a hand to hold me to help me to be steady.

There are times when I start to say something and I forget what I was going to say.  I have to laugh at myself.  Humility and honesty keeps us open and forgiving.

Religion can be and is used to divide and conquer but it has the potential to be caring and accepting, compassionate and and healing.

Today I will go to church.

Today Leah and Craig, Ophelia and Astrid. Germaine and Willy may come over.

It is good to make new friends as our family grows.

EFFORT

Hi Shandel I kept my promise!

Yes it was an effort to try and get pictures of Shandel and Cameron.

Such a disappointment Sandra ha the car keys and they were stranded at Sandra's house.  The problem was they had no idea what happen and a frantic search was made around all the house and the yard and even over where Daisy the dog had been walked.

I did actually take a picture of Daisy the dog.  Wants to join in and play.



I was so disappointed that they did not make it to our house, but very happy they had such a fun time especially as the weather turned warm.

I had many unanswered questions I meant to ask them but next time may go better.  It did not help with dad having two doctor appointments and the long wait at the hospital, and then the dentist on Friday.

He did not get his bike ride in but his appointment was long and uncomfortable.
He really did have to rest before going over in the evening to say good-bye to every one.

After a swim they play a game on the lawn.

It is an effort to find the right picture so I will stop now.

Life does not always go as we planned and at times can seem overwhelming.

It is an effort to remain positive when illness seems to take control of our body.

The soul within each one of us longs to be able to experience unexpected moments of grace.