INTERRUPTED

I will not be blogging for the next week or so because of people sleeping in my computer room. I was thinking today of how often I think sometime that does not work will just all of a sudden start to work. And some times it atually does!

I have been feeling a little like I am living in the shadows but now the sun is shining. Carol and Panteli have spent some time with us and Kenny and Hobbey arrive about 2 today.

We may go to the White Spot! Life is exciting!

EXCITMENT

Our lives, calm like this slow moving stream, are now becoming exciting as we expect a visit from our son Ken from Melbourne and his son Hobey. They will be flying here and arriving on Wed. June 28. I have to get their rooms arranged and as usual am reminded how much extra junk we fill the cupboards etc. with. So last night I was thinking of all the things I want to do today and even now I find it hard to believe it has happened so fast.

I was very relieved yesterday when the doctor suggested the colonoscopy was not necessary, at least at this time. Afterwards I was thinking about how we put our faith in the medical profession. First it was the C.T.Scan that showed a small picture of something funny in the colon and now this doctor says oh well scan can do that. If I was worried he would do the procedure but I am not worried. Although one does not always know if you are worried or not because even a little doubt affects our faith.

Today will be happy and busy and the sun is shining so that is good. The house seems quiet without the puppies here following us everywhere and barking at the mailman or a squirrel or a unexpected noise.

Carol and Panteli are going to drop by some time today and hopefully they can move back into their home which was rented out while they were away in China. They may have to camp here tonight.

Next we will have to figure out who will be having the gang over for supper which night.

MAYBE

Maybe there is a reason for why things happen the way they do but the problem is knowing what that is. I have no doubt that we are to learn from our experiences and our mistakes but I know I get weary of it all sometimes. Maybe I can help someone else; one can only hope.

A different weekend for us. We hurried off to church at Colebrook only to feel the need to leave after we had just sat down. We had been able to greet a few friends so that was good. Entering the church is always a comforting experience for me. To see my friends and to see the beauty of the artistic symbols and colours awakens in me a sense of the holy. Many artists have expressed their faith in paintings and sculptures that speak to us today.

Listening to the Vinyl Cafe on the C.B.C. made me laugh and soon ready for a refreshing walk in the Water-Shed Park with the doggies. They enjoy walking and sniffing and we are amazed at all the different trails there are to discover.
I remembered to take the camera but got all mixed up with the leashes getting tangled. Today there is a light rain falling and I will be off to see the doctor at noon. I am resigning myself to the fact that I will have to go through some tests so that I can be given a good report.

Being healthy is hard work and we often have to learn to live with aches and pains.
Life seems full of disappointments and frustrations and yet life is meaningful as we learn to listen to heavenly music that sings over us when we least expect it to. Music is powerful and when we sing we feel new strength flowing into our souls.

GOOD NEWS

The sky in the evening looks promising that it may rain during the night but in the morning will be sunshine. This morning I am greeted by the happy excited puppies who race around me with great excitement and joy. The room is now covered with their beds and their toys, reminds me of the good old days.

The good news is that Ken is coming for a visit and will be here next Sunday. Right now school is out for the children so Melina will not have the extra stress of driving back and forth to take Jesse to school. It also means that Hobey may be able to come but that depends on a music test at his school that he should be there for.

I have been spoilt over the last few days having both Carol and Sandra help with the garden which has gotten a little overgrown but does not worry me.

I also hope people are not worried about me because I just have to have a few miserable tests to make sure there is nothing wrong.

The puppies loved walking through the water shed park and we will take them again after we go to church. The day so far is a little dull but seems warmer then yesterday.

I am reminded again about what is important in life and that is to live from the heart and to enjoy the blessings each day brings. The life I am living is my own; and I am happy taking my pictures and writing in my blog, I am free to make choices about what to do each day. The world has changed so much in my lifetime that sometimes it seems hard to keep up. There are always tragedies being reported on the news and often discussion about whom is to blame.

For me evening brings positive emotions within me; happiness in the day that has been lived and also the promise of new challenges in the morning. Yes, I will water my garden more and tackle the few remaining weeds, I will walk far and fast and finish at least one chapter in my book.

FORGETFULNESS

There are many things that it is good to forget. Especially what cannot be changed.
As a child I struggled with forgetfulness that caused me to lose things like mittens and books and jackets and especially I lost the sense of time. Spiritually we have lost the swareness that we came from love and that love grows within us.

We are falling in love with the doggies Leah left, Sophia and Molly. They were sad to see her go but have been enjoying our little garden and being able to run in and out. We are planning to take them for a walk through the water shed park and join the many other dog walkers.

We have fun at our block party meeting some new neighbors and cooking our hot dogs on their barbecues. It is feeling more like summer so it is time not to forget to put on sun tan lotion and watch out for mosquitos that find us tasty to eat!

And you forget how miserable allergies can make you feel, those itchy eyes and runny nose!

SMELLY

A rotten smell usually forces one to clean up. Had I spilt something I could not remember but I could smell a musty smell that I found disagreeable. Anyway the T.V. room was in need of a good cleaning.

Now my computer is refusing to let me put a picture on; which is one of the things I like to do. I am reminded that it is the little frustrations of life that can drive us crazy. We talked at home group about looking in the mirror [ from the book of James] and yet going away blind to our own faults. I would love to have the perfect peace that can come at the end of a day no matter how frustrating it has been; and how unpeaceful I have felt. Now my speller tells me unpeaceful is not a word.

"People mirror back to us the reality of who we are." Jesus told us to turn the other check in order to quell the violence within myself because the enemy outside only "mirrors the enemy within". Deepak Chopra -"The Third Jesus"
Was Jesus a clear, simple and direct spiritual leader who has made it easy for us to follow him? No, I do not think so. Even the disciples who walked with him and listened to him had troubles being like him and maybe even understanding him.

So today is a new day. I am smelling the roses; which picture will not go on, and I will do a short walk before Leah brings her two dogs over to spend the week-end with us. I hope they like me but one thing I am consistent about is that children and dogs learn to sleep in their own beds. Leah and Craig are off to Paul River on the ferry from the north Shore to see Grama Marjerison, who is not doing well.

Breaking news dad and I are going through the water shed park for a short walk. It smells so fresh in there so it will be good.

SUMMERTIME

A beautiful warm summer day that as I went for an early walk I was reminded that i was walking with Jesus and that is who gives me strength which is enriched by the love of family and the good times at church and at our groups.

The church hall looked so inviting as it was being set up for the spring strawberry tea. It takes a group of many willing hands to make this a happy day for all who come and help and for those who come and enjoy good food. Strawberries are in season for such a short time and each year can taste a little different. The ones we had where sweet and delicious.

Yesterday was a relaxing day with Carol and Panteli. We drove to New Westminster to pick up the gluten-free bread and then delivered it and had a quick drive by of our old house. Sad to see.

Carol spruced up the garden which I know has gotten very over-grown and wild and crazy. Something like life that you figure and plan but then things just happen. My song is "One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus". The simple songs that we use to sing have great meaning for me and although there are great hymns with powerful and words with deep meaning it is the simple songs that come back to me.

God had fun at our home group meeting where we laughed and told jokes and enjoyed being together. I was blessed by the prayers that where prayed for me and through all the time together there was a spirit of grace and thankfulness. We had Fun!

BEING ME

I feel very happy this morning just happy to be me.

Waiting to hear from Carol and Panteli before setting off to buy some bread from the special bakery in New Westminster. I want to send some off with them when they go to Chilliwack to spend some time with Theresa and the family. They are tired but happy to be home. They are in a place where they are waiting to be able to move into their apartment as they have people renting their house while they were in China. Things will fall into place in the next day or so.

Things will fall into place for me as well concerning my health. It is good I am going to an internist. My goal is to get back walking like I use to do and I have no doubt that this will happen.

My garden is wild and crazy and totally overgrown but I am happy there is lots of colour and variety. Dad has a big job to do trying to get the little stream working in the front yard. He is trying to figure out what to do and he is good at that.

It is good that we all have things that we are good at and things we enjoy doing.

No questions today I am in a place a calm serenity enjoying my morning coffee and the fresh air coming in the window and the little birds singing away. They sound so very happy. There have been lots of changes in my life time and there will be more ahead for us all.

CAROL AND PANTELI ARE HOME! ! !

The picture will not go on.

Their plane arrived early and it was so good to give them a hug.

BEYOND THEOLOGY

Gathering together as loving and caring friends we listen to the D.V.D. which is called "Beyond Theology". I find myself a little lost in the vastness of space that I am finding myself in. I have never been an intellectual Christian who is allabout the facts and figuring out religion. I am aware of the danger of being too literal because as I read the scripture I am reading history and poetry as well as faith that was in process.

I feel that I am spiritually strong and that has come from an inner feeling of being one with, here I run into trouble do I say one with God, with the Almighty, with the mysterious Grace, with the Sacred Mystery?

I learn about Huston Smith, a writer and a seeker of truth in all religions. I admire him and I find his journey of faith very interesting but. . . . Yes I have a calling to help others awaken to the divinity within them which becomes a journey into the mystical. This is where i have been comfortable but I have also needed the grounding of scripture and my sense of tradition.

Now I am being called to ask questions but I honestly wonder who is answering my questions? Yes, the spiritual life requires my mind and my soul and my spirit. Some how I need to keep them in balance. Yes, it is complicated. The world is changing dramatically all around me. My health is changing and I am thankful that my lungs are good as is my heart but I need to have some further tests.

I leave the doctor thankful for the good news but now I am thinking of questions I would have liked to ask. Do I change the way I eat or what I eat and will this help my digestion? Simple questions but I never thought to ask.

So today I am the same person I was yesterday only with some new questions.

As I walk I will enjoy the beauty around me and breathe in the freshness of the morning. The light shines in the night and in the day and the soul that is open can see the light always before them.

So often in life we have to face the questions that have no answers but keep trusting in the love that will light the way.


Yesterday, we broke from tradition by going to Sandra's house for excellent hamburgers instead of the White Spot after picking up Carol and Panteli. I am so glad they are home now. They now have many things to take care of like where they will live until they can move into thir apartment. Selling their home was a big decision but they will take time to decide where to live. They are looking forward to moving so that is good. Carol looked pale and she showed us her bites which had been so miserable but the good thing was they were given a better room to stay in.
She brought us back beautiful shawls from China as well as pearls. I was just thinking that pearls would be nice.

MISLEADING

This picture was taken yesterday and is one of the many pictures my dad painted of castles in England. This I put on this morning.

Some days I put a picture on the day before and I write a few words. Usually by night time I have run out of words and ideas. This is what happened on Saturday. Sandra then read the Sat. night blog and commented while Sunday I got up and decided to add to it about my own dad. Meanwhile Sandra had commented on the previously written comments. If I add to this I will note the additions but once I have said my bit in the morning that is it for the day.

I appreciate anyone taking the time to read my ramblings and am thrilled to get any comments. I write this because i have written every morning for years my thoughts and my activities in what I call a journal.

Several things awakened my memories yesterday. Reading the father's day card from Rick who is now in North Battleford reminded me of the many trips I had in the summer taking the C.N. train from Saskatoon to North Battleford to visit my best friend Lynn. Both our dad's worked for the C.N. and we had met on our first day of school.

Then I started remembering about my dad and some of the amazing things he accomplished. My brother actually did more with dad as they camped together in the scouts where dad was an enthusiastic leader. Growing us in England he had heard about the Mounties and read about the native Indians and this had a lasting impression on his life. He was not able to become a mountie because of poor eye sight but he learn all about the ways of the natives, how to make a head dress, a tepee, bead work, and their dances. He had a group of boys who caught the spirit and stayed with him for years.

Anyway that explains what happened yesterday.

Today we are looking forward to picking up Carol and Panteli from the airport. She is doing much better but will be glad to be back home in Canada. At least she is use to the bugs that bite her here. They had rented out their house for the time they were away but Sandra has room for them and so does Theresa. We do too.

It has been a busy and enjoyable week-end but I am still finding myself short of breath. I may just have to get use to it but I am tiring more easily and have to be very careful mucking about the garden as their our many rocks etc. that cause me to lose my balance.

Church was full of people who came to the christening of Angeline Elizabeth a beautiful baby girl. It was so good to see people who had come years ago and had drifted away.

I was reminded as we talked later that we are all very poor listeners and very selective. We also hang on to something we believe to be the truth and refuse to discuss or listen to sone one else's point of view.

Pat reminded me to read the chapter on Mystery in the book "My Grandfather's Blessings". Mystery is another word or expression for God, the sacred presence in all our lives.

"Mystery has great power. Working with people with cancer I have seen Mystery comfort people when nothing else can and offer hope when nothing else offers hope."

"I have seen Mystery heal fear that is otherwise unhealable. I have watched people in their confrontation with the unknown recover awe, wonder, joy and aliveness. They have remembered life is holy."

Mystery can speak to us in any place at any time and the most important lesson we can learn is to listen to this voice. Mystery has spoken to me and guided me but the words where for me alone. I still have many questions but a good mystery keeps us reading even as Mystery encourages us to keep searching and listening.

Happy Father's Day

Life goes by so quickly and sometimes seems like a blur. It just seems like yesterday we were starting out having our four. They are the joy of our lives. Not that they were not some bumpy times and disagreements as we lived daily walking on the road of life together.

My dad was very strict and walked very correctly standing straight and tall. Like my flowers. He taught me to be obedient, to work hard at school, to enjoy reading and singing. He put a great amount of time and effort into the boy scouts that allowed him to live his dream of coming to a wild, outdoor country and learning to live in nature free of modern conveniences. He loved to learn all about native culture and to teach his scout group. He was honored for his many years in serving as a Scout leader.

Dad was great at reading out the letters and numbers of bingo making the game fun and making us laugh; so we did see another side to him. When we went to church he would sing very loudly, sometimes to my embarrassment. He could play a piano by ear and also an organ. If he knew a song he could play it and he loved playing and did it with enthusiasm.

As a child he did not notice me much except when I misbehaved so I was left to enjoy my friends and games. He was afraid of dogs and would not allow us to have animals saying he was allergic to them. He was a good father and he loved my mom respectfully. They were equals and each knew the role they had to play; one the provider and the other the home maker. Our home was spotless and meals were on time and always started with grace.

He wrote letters back home to England very regularly but did not speak very much about his family life. He and his dad had a bitter argument when he did not follow his dad into business. He lied about his age to join the army, stayed in Germany after the war for awhile. He was good at languages. Eventually he came to Canada and started working for the C.N. Railway.

Dad started smoking at an early age, 17, I believe when he joined the army. Because of this he suffered with allergies and asthma. His nerves were very bad and he took something to calm himself later in life.

He loved to paint and left our family some of his paintings.

WAITING

Waiting is so frustrating. I am waiting for the test results; much to do about nothing. Maybe I have just got a little over tired. There will be lots of good news that I know for sure.

This morning I am waiting for Cathy, my neighbor, to call and we will gather up my three ! ! ! yes 3 bags of books to take to sell at the Strawberry Tea at Colebrook.
If they do not sell I will bring them home again. Although different books tell a story of where I was at a certain place in my life I hate to part with them. I often like to read an old book again and again..

"It is waiting for the Lord that the reality of faith is unfolded, because faith implies a certain not having and not knowing. . . . .It is in waiting that God is God and not an idol, that faith is faith and not superstition."
--Richard Luecke

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall put forth wings as eagles. [yesterday we saw an eagle flying overhead]. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Yesterday I had a mindless day unable to concentrate on reading or praying and not confident of walking. My friend down the street, Megan, has offered to walk with me in the evenings about 7. Dad will not worry if I am with someone. I am better in the morning but I will give this is try next week.

Waiting for Carol and Panteli to come home; to really see how they are.

I am so happy that I found my necklace; the chain Kenny gave me when he left for down under. Dad thought he had picked it up and put it in my hand and he had picked it up and had put it down again. It is now back where it should be! !

IN THE WILDERNESS

There is beauty in the simple little things, like this grass by the sea blowing in the breeze.

Reminds me of baby Moses hidden in the bull rushes but being found by the right person at the right time. A mother will do anything to protect her child and God can give us the wisdom on how to do this.

I am in the wilderness with my health. Waiting for test results. Feeling good and not so good.

I am in the wilderness with my beliefs, not my faith, reading scripture with new eyes. We are watching a D.V.D. called HEAVENS ABOVE with Peter Sellers as the priest, He is a priest after my own heart as he takes a large poor family in to live in the manse with him. He chooses a poor, black, man actually a garbage collector to be on his board of directors to the shock and dismay of all the rich and powerful people who have been in control of the church,

Religion and humour a great mix.

LIFE

Our old house with such a beautiful view brings back memories of walking down the path near our house deep into the woods. It was mafical. I went with many of the grandchildren and others to enjoy the quiet beauty and the huge trees and wild berries.

We also remember the night we were in bed under a pile of covers with no heat for several days and snow on the roof, when a flashing light appears outside and a man crawls up the roof right by our window to hook up our power. Dad opened the windown and grabbed one end to help him. We were thankful to have a warm house again and thankful for this brave young man working so hard and so late.


Life is a law unto itself. I woke up this morning with this thought on my mind and I wondered where it came from. Sometimes as I write my thoughts down I think maybe i read this somewhere or heard it before. But considering all the words that are being written and have been written can there be an truly original words.

Happiness is coming home and putting on my warm long underwear after having a hot cup of coffee and a bite to eat after the cat scan. They put a lovely warm blanket on me when I lay down on the machine bad to ride back and forth, breathing and not breathing. Waiting in the waiting area my teeth were chattering and I was sooo cold so this was like heaven. When she said it was over I hated to leave.

My dear hubby had gone out and bought me a warm sweater so I had that to put on. Everyday there is no news you know that it was alright or you would have heard. Dad is off to the skin cancer doctor to have something cut out. He is far braver than me.

Our question at home group was what do you tell people why you need Jesus? Without his presence his spirit his words I would be like the cowardly lion in Somewhere over the Rainbow. Or did he need a heart I cannot quite remember.

I breath in Jesus and I find hope and strength and guidance. He is like the lovely warm blanket that warms me up in this world that can be cold and hard hearted, where people destroy other people's lives by greed and violence and hate and just plain selfishness.

The Air India report is very chilling so sad when tragedy can be prevented.

Dad is off to skin doctor to have some cutting and stiching and sewing to get rid of cancer spots. I may go with him but basically planning a quiet day. Still feeling cold brrrrrrr

BETTER AND BETTER

I had a glorious walk yesterday and made it over to the lake at Boundary Park. Only tow ducks one big white one and one smaller darker. Evidently there where no babies this year strange. I meet a friend from home group Doug who walked with me. I am putting on a few pounds and will soon need a new wardrobe!

I have a concern wondering if they will let me wear my long underwear in the cat screen machine. I am sure they can take pictures through it. If you hear screaming it is me as they drag my long underwear off me. I feel sick to my stomach and just hope I do not do anything stupid. I am suppose to drink a lot of water but then I will have to run to the bathroom. Maybe we should cancel this whole thing? ? My neighbor Cathy came over for a visit which was good kept my mind on other things.

God had blessed me with an amazing family and friends. They are always there when i need them. God, with skin on is very comforting.

More good news I recharged my phone that I washed and it is working. I did say a little prayer which when I think of all the other prayers for people I am thinking about with serious problems was stupid.

I have washed the kitchen floor and will now move the microwave one more time.

Sad news our dear neighbor Scotty was in a car accident yesterday. He was turning left and was hit hard. Both cars totalled but he was able to away. They have a son and daughter here so they should be a help to them. He should have been checked over but refused. Dad drove down to Nickleson Road

Dad drove with Mary to pick him up.

I will phone you Jane when I get home. You will be exhausted after having big dinner meeting for the council at your home. You are such a blessing to me and others and to Colebrook Church.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love;
it is the prerogotive of the BRAVE."
--Mohandas K. Gandhi


LOVE is considered the great harmonizer and healer in life."
-"Lawa of Life" John Marks Templeton

A BEAUTIFUL DAY

It was beautiful for a few moments before the rain started pouring down. Fortunately I walked before the rain came. Very pleased with myself I made it to Boundary Park; no baby ducks this year very strange. Got a ride home and washed my cell phone again!

Cleanliness was one of the things I was brought up to think was important.


Off to buy my one cup coffee maker! ! !
Disappointed again. Well the sale does not start until Thrus.

I am booked for a Cat-scan to-morrow Wed. 16 {Oliver,s birthday} at 8 in the morning.
I do not think it will take long.
I should be home about 10.

Seems silly because i am feeling better but just not able to walk as far as I would like. Just have to get used to it or maybe take my puffer along!
Cleaning house today; good to keep busy.

DISAPPOINTMENTS

I was very disappointed when we came home yesterday and found a note from Leah saying they had dropped by. Smart girl she had found the door key so well disguised and came in to leave us a note. We had gone to drive by our old house and i wanted to walk down by the path down below our house where the grandchildren and I went for so many adventures in the woods.

It was disappointing the tress had fallen down and and it just seemed different but then it takes young eyes and legs to run up and down and see all the interesting things that they get excited about. So we had a much slower walk and I was walking down memory lane as I walked.

Then we went on to visit an older lady just out of hospital having had a heart attack. She has a beautiful soul and a very positive spirit and we all love her. I worked with Mary the first time I was on U.C.W. I think I was secretary at that time. Lots of memories of the fun meetings we had preparing for our meetings. They were happy get together. We enjoyed each other.

I was also disappointed that i did not make it to Boundary Park pond on my walk. My mailman has been missing me as we often pass as I come back along SunWood. Today I will do it.

Finished two chapters of the book I started but I think I am going to start reading about the blood and sacrifice that went into making the Snowy River Hydro-Electric Scheme. We went there with Ken I believe. I wish I had known more about it then.

By book talked about Luther and Calvin who had visions for the Christian faith.
A preacher talks to a small group of pilgrims setting out to a new lamd in 1620 who already had had a hard road trying to live out their faith.

Pastor John Robinson, said, "If God reveal anything to you by any other instrument [than these men of the past, be ready to receive it. For they failed to see further into a deeper truth. This is a misery much to be lamented.

"For though they were precious shining lights in their time, yet God has not revealed his whole will to them. And where they now living, they would be ready and willing to em brae further light, as they had received."

Faith must be a growing and a struggling and a reaching for more light and truth,

MONDAY'S NEWS

BIG DECISIONS. Is it warm enough to take off my warm underwear? How far should I walk? I feel good! I have gained 4 lbs. Dad is happy. Dad is painting his sundeck. I will trans plant my cosmos and start off. No, I did not get the second page read. Cathy neighbor] came for a visit and brought me some gluten free candy. We are going to go to the Ladner farm market with her in two Weeks time. I am worried about her. She is losing weight and not sleeping.

I missed going to church. The only sin that came to mind was dumping my change out at the check-out stand and slowly countiung out the correct amount. Dad never spends his change so i carry it around in my purse which gets heavier and heavier. But I never argue about prices that I am being charged like some. hmmm :)

I SPENT TIME GOING THROUGH BOOKS FOR THE BOOK SALE AT THE CHURCH ON SAT. AT WHICH I WILL BE HELPING. STRAWBERRY TEA ANYONE?
I will ask Cathy if she wants to help me sell books. She offers to help cut my lawn and pull my weeds and usually say no I'm okay.

Glad you had a good day. I do not know how Randy and Kenny function with so little sleep. Talked to Ken and he had been up at 4 to watch soccer game.

Now I will look for a updated comment!

"A NEW KIND OF CHRISTIANITY

I woke up this morning.Sunday June 13, feeling gloriously alive! I took a deep breath and air filled my lings and I said to myself "good breath." We take so much for granted just the fact of breathing we do so easily without any thought. Today I will have a good walk down to the pond to take a picture of the ducks, I have not done that in ages. I took a picture first of the happy sun, had my coffee and wrote in my blog. Dad was waking up so I informed him of my plan. I said "I will take my cell phone" and he said "O why bother'" So I did not bother because it happened to me upstairs and I was down stairs. I got about half way when I realized I was too tired. It had been a busy day the day before so I turned back. Somehow dad had just started out to pick me up and we missed. I went down Scott Road as I said I
would but he had gone down Sun Wood road. Luckily he had his cell phone so I could phone and say I was home again.

We had a visit from Randy and Sandy just checking to see if we had gone to church or not; although they denied this. I tried to do some cleaning up in the house. I know I make messes but so does dad; so between the two of us we are very messy people.

My new confidence that I could climb Mt. Everest had been deflated so I decided I would stay home from church and read my book "A New Kind of Christianity". It is now after four and I have just read the first page. Yes, I believe we need to do something new to stir up faith and hope in ourselves and in others. Faith in the church is falling and although people may want something real and meaningful they do not see going to church as spiritually rewarding. Suddenly the faith of our forefathers did not fit into real life. I am finding more and more books being written about this need for Christianity to change,

Life was so much simpler in my growing up days. God was God and He was love and He was good! Respectable people went to church wearing their Sunday clothes. You obeyed your parents and you did not waste food. We were thankful for what we had because butter and sugar were rationed. My brother helped dig a victory garden as the war was very much on people's minds. My dad's family were back in England and we heard about the bombing and soldiers dying and how evil the Germans were.

One day Guilt came to town in the words of a fiery Evangelist who told me I was a sinner and not a Christian at all. I needed to be saved. I was filled with fear of God for the first time. I was about 10 so I bravely crept forward all alone to knell and to ask forgiveness and to receive the love of Jesus into my heart! I remember that night to this day very clearly.

MORNING HAS BROKEN!

I love the early morning; today it is very very still. I love the morning even when I forget to add coffee to the coffee maker and the mouse won't work on my computer because it is aiming the wrong way. I soon noticed the "errors of my ways" and am enjoying my coffee and writing away here in my little computer room.

Today in my book of laws I am on Law No. 2.
"Where there is no vision the people perish" Proverbs 29:18
"No wind favours him who has no destined port." Michael de Momtaigne

Yes, everyone needs dreams and goals but sometimes you have to discover what your dream is. My dad had a dream of being a Canadian Mountie and that dream was carried out by my brother Brian. He had a dream of being an actor and i think he could have done well with this. Mom dreamed he would be a minister and he certainly likes to talk about God.

The only dream I had was to go to University but falling in love can change all your dreams. I wanted to go where ever my sweetheart went and be a part of his dream of being around planes, being an air-traffic controller and learning to fly.

I lost myself in the role of wife and mother.

Today I gather my books around me to learn all I can about human nature and about the world where God can be discovered again and again.

Today I dream about words and songs that come unbidden into my mind.
Life is good and I count my blessings and enjoy a good laugh.

I would love to have rhythm to sing and to dance and that I can do all here in my home.
We had a joyful time at Morgan's ballet recital and even though Ben tried to hide behind a tree we discovered him. He had had a busy day at Lacrosse and so had Theresa taking him and Mikie had been at work by 4 that morning,

The day ended with a short visit to celebrate Desiree's graduation. She has a dream to help young girls through difficult times in their lives and having had a few experiences she will be a good teacher with a caring heart!

CHANGE OF PLANS I DO NOT FEEL UP YO GOING TO CHURCH TODAY.
cATHY OUR NEIGHBOR CAME OVER TO GIVE ME SOME GLUTIN-FREE CANDY. sHE IS SO SWEET. i AM WORRIED ABOUT HER; SHE DOES NOT LOOK SO GOOD.

CHIRPING BIRDS & LAUGHING FLOWERS

SUCH A PERFECT SPRING MORNING MAKES ME WANT TO FLING OPEN THE DOORS AND WELCOME THE FRESH MORNING AIR INTO EVERY MUSTY DUSTY CORNER.

Busy day today driving to Chilliwack to see our precious ballerina Morgan do her ballet dancing. Ben will have been to his lacrosse game which he is really enjoying.
A busy household with getting the children to practices etc.

I will have a nap there or when I get home because we are going to Desirae's grad. party in the evening. I will be waking up sleeping beauty soon as we have to go shopping first thing. I do wish i could sleep longer but then I have so much I want to do!

HAD A GOOD CHECK-UP AT THE DOCTORS AND I

AM AS FIT AS A FIDDLE. A RUSTY OLD FIDDLE THAT IS!

Life is full of promise and i believe that even the Christian faith promises new beginnings as it is born again with new knowledge and understanding.

MY LETTER

Dear Adeline and Brian,
It seems to take such an effort to write a letter these days. We have had a fair amount of rain so on the nice days i am out looking after the garden. Lately I have been dead heading the rhododendrons which bloomed so magnificently this spring, There is always a lot of work to be done to keep my roses amid other flowers blooming so well. We have a beautiful yellow rose as well as a white one and people comment on them as they walk by.

We live in a small area where the houses are close and fortunately we have excellent neighbors. Larry has been building another porch that is under the shade of a big tree. We have a porch at the front of the house which he also built where he often has his morning coffee.

We live in walking distance to all the stores so that is good except when I get heavy parcels the way home seems longer and my arms ache. I am fortunate I am doing so well. I am having a complete check-up which is good every once in a while. Larry still goes to the skin doctor for his skin cancer I forget what you call it. I think he is getting one cut out on his back. He had one cut off his knuckle He sees the eye doctor regularly and also the doctor for his prostrate just to keep sure it is okay,

Kenny in Australia has two young children with his new young wife and they are adorable. The chikdren Matthew and Jasmine and also Melina, who we love a lot! They have their own house and are very busy with the children. The older three come down from Queensland to visit them and the little ones adore them. Melina also has an older boy Jesse and all the family gets along well. Ken tries to fly home to see us as often as he can and may come in July.

Rick is busy with his masters in Native Constitutional law. A lot of studying and working at his office job too. Leah [Rick's daughter] was rear ended again at a stop light; a car two back crashed into the one behind her and then into hers. She has reinjuryed her back so please keep her in your prayers. Chris [Rick] is working at the same job and has his ups and downs but we are proud of what he is managing to do.
Lucas is now in grade 1. This is his youngest boy. He lives in Trinidad.

Sandra and Randy are busy with home improvement and hosting Sunday dinners and having family visit from Edmonton. On July 3 they fly to Mexico for the wedding of Mandy, Randy's daughter from his first marriage. We feel badly that the first marriages of our children did not work out and the pain they had to go through; but now happily they have found good people. Sandra creates the most beautiful gardens and i am trying to learn from her.
They are both loving parents very proud of their children. Tasha, Sandra's oldest now has a son named Justice and we hope to see them over the summer.

Carol and Panteli are in China at a University teaching. They are at a dormitory and Carol has some extremely bad bites [bed bugs?]bites and they may have to return early.To-morrow we drive to Chilliwack to see Morgan [3] [our great-grand daughter] in her ballet recital. Two weeks ago we saw Ben [our great grandson] play lacross. Theresa is a busy mon who is now also doing professional phhtograpy and she has a great talent for manking pictures come aloive. Now that Ben {6}s in school we do not see them so often.

Oliver {Carol's son] is trying to get on the coast guard. Kim[ Carol's daughter]is working in the Grand Cayman Island. She is coming in July for a visit.

Mary {Sandra's daughter has married and ,moved to Queens ton where she is going to college to be a pre-school teacher. Her boys work in Edmonton and may be married any day or month now.

God has been good to us and we are very thankful for our health, our family, our church and our friends. Of course we have the normal aches and pains of old age but consider ourselves very fortunate. Everyday we look for blessings.

"There is no need to worry, but if there is anything you need, pray for it, asking God for it with prayer and thanksgiving, and that peace of God, which is so much greater than we can understand, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6&7

This is just a little news of our busy happy family. They are all so different but then so are Larry and myself. I am very happy writing my blog and seeing friends and puttering around in my garden.

OOPS

I meant to write my letters but I guess habit took me here.

It fits in with my thoughts about change.

How important it is to become empty [to allow change] to allow change is illustrated in this Zen story. [I do appreciate Zen thinking].

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era [1868 to 1912] received a professor who came to enquire about Zen. He was welcomes and the master started to pour him a cup of tea. The cup became full but the master kept pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself.

"It is overfull no more can go in."

Nan-in replied, "You are so full of your own opinions and speculations how can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

Weeds come into my garden very self-sufficient images need to be pulled out for the flowers to grow. I need to let go of some of my past ideas and Beliefs for new growth.

FOOD

Somewhere I must have a picture of food but right now I cannot find it.

It is strange when you go to a restaurant and you are given food and you do not know what to do with it. Like at the green lettuce you get a big bunch of lettuce but first you get an ordinary dish of vegetables which I guess you wrap in the lettuce.

Rick was in England where he ordered a boxed lunch and food came on top of a box and inside hidden down deep where tiny flat pancakes to role it in, which he did not discover until later.

Now I must get my mind on serious things. What to do today. Today I have two letters I must write, I have 10 books to read, I have to sort through others and give then away, I have to buy a grad. present for Desirae for to-morrow night.
I have to find out who wrote the right time down for Morgan's ballet recital. I wrote 2:30 and dad crossed it out and put 3:30. It is on Saturday too.

I figure if we go early at least we won't miss it. Dad thinks I am trying to trick him to get him there on time. Ya right.

Last night I was going to go and check out a book to find a quote that Rick had read in a book I had given him and now he cannot find, We went to the library where I spent half the time in the washroom and did not find it, Tired I came home and phoned, phoned imagine that, actually talking to people and he had found what he need for his important essay. Maybe if I ever said something, quotable, he could quote me on religion, but like he says I am not published.

I am in one of those strange states where I am feeling tempted to eat real tasting food made from wheat. A loaf of french bread or a scone or even an ice cream cone
just seem to be tempting ,so tempting, me,

Last night I had a very weird dream that I needed to protect myself and I was piling up food at the door. I made a glorious mess and woke up when it seemed like the door was opening. Have you ever tried piling up Lemon pie? That is the one I really remember.

I will explain to the doctor today how I feel if I eat something i should not eat that contains some nasty little gluten. I get extremely bloated, I feel nauseated and sick, I feel exhausted, and then finally I start running to the bathroom. That is very therapeutic for me to write because i will know that I must not give in to temptation! Not even a crumb.

So the final word is that it is difficult to change myself or others or especially this cruel world. Just this morning Nelson Mandala's grand daughter was killed in a car accident A tragic loss!

PLANS

I was happy that our plans to meet Cameron, our grandson, from Edmonton, here for a day worked out so well. Being big and strong he helped moved a planter box for me and since i love moving things it was good to have that done. He is looking healthy and excited and having a new gitlfriend Chandel is a big reason. Sandra always looks pleased when her children come for a visit. Being a mom I know the joy of seeing your children too, even when they give you a hard time, like making a few suggestions! ! !

I had a quiet day pulling weeds but discovered a bony bottom is hard to sit on for long. I do plan on putting on a few pounds gradually and not by eating a mass of chips they insisted I eat. Days like yesterday make one feel that life is good and there will be many, many happy times ahead.

I feel a bit like God's restless servant today I have plans that I want to carry out but it will depend on the energy levels. It is a gray day this morning but that will not dampen my spirits. I feel so very thankful that I have been given so very much in life. There are many things I would like to be and many that I would like to do but I am content in doing my little tasks with simple faith. You see it is the small encounters and the simplest experiences. a bit flawed, but still able to carry the grace of God through us.

WORLDWIDE LAWS OF LIFE

Today the moss will grow under my feet. It is wet and miserable and I do not feel like walking; of course I sould tell dad that is when you shoud do it. Maybe we will walk down to the shoe store later.


TWO HUNDRED ETERNAL SPIRITUAL PRACTICES.
My latest find from the library drawn from major sacred Scripture of the world and various schools of philosophical thought, as well as from scientists, artists, historians and others.

There is a mountain of information for me to look through. It seems we cannot keep ten commandments what hope do we have for all these. All though I am sure they are more like suggestions. Some one with a legal mind must have produced this huge book that I gave to dad to carry out of the library. I think it is going to be jolly good fun and not at all guilt producing. I hope.

Today I am late because I was running to the bathroom all night. Dad mumbles in a sleepy voice "you are not having a good night are you." I graciously refrained from hitting him with a pillow instead mumbled "no I am not." By own fault how was I to know a little pill could work so thoroughly. But on the other hand I could not remember if I had taken a pill so I took another one. Enough for now.

We are looking forward to having supper with Cameron to-night. I do not know what time. Just think Cameron has a new sister in the family. Mary I think will always be the favorite! But both will be very loved! ! !

As I was rereadimg about our search for God
I am reminded that actually God is on the look-out for us.

AUTHENTICITY

I think that most of us value people being authentic. Can we be authentic and also be nice and kind and not tell people exactly how we feel or what they should do. I know that I am shy about sharing my faith, at least that is how I view myself, Years ago I started a Bible study group in our neighborhood and it was a hard thing for me to do to invite people. Come for coffee and meet your neighbors and learn a little about the Bible. Today book clubs are very popular and my understanding is that they talk about a lot of life challenging questions, and also develop friendships.

I say to myself well if people want to know about Jesus they can start searching. Most of the people on T.V. I do not find "authentic" so it is hard to believe in their message. I have given books away that have meant so much to be and I have heard in the odd occasion it spoke to the person. One was to a customer that dad sold her house and I meant her once. It was just an impulse that when I got home i said to your dad please give her this book and he did. Evidently it meant a great deal to her. Sometimes you do not know what affect something you do or say has on another.

My faith in Jesus has been the source of life and strength to me. I love to hear stories about how peoples lives heave been transformed. Music has great power to touch our souls and free us from our prisons. So does nature and art.

I read this morning about a young boy at a funeral looking at his very proud and strong-will grandma and saw for the first time
"her weakness seemed in some way stronger than her strength."

Everyone seems so self-confident and strong and they seem to be doing fine without God, not me I often feel weak in body and in soul and I feel sadness for those whose lives are full of pain. We attended a funeral of an elderly woman of faith and I came home with the message where is she answered by she is with God.

I really had a messy day yesterday spilling sugar [the can] and coffee grounds and then worrying dad; after he had been such a big help getting lunch.

It all started when i decided to walk down to London Drugs to get an ankle support for dad. Well I got the wrong one. But before I left he said take the phone and i couldn't find it so I took his. Please note I told him I am taking yours. I took longer than he thought I should so he phoned. His phone i did not hear it was oushed way down. Then my phone rang which was also in my bag and I answered it and could not hear for all the traffic on the road. Dad is completely annoyed and starts thinking his phone is lost again.

SORRY Sorry I will take some time to pray now and then go pull some weeds!

MUSICICAL MONDAY

The Bible tells us of the song the prophet Miiriam, sang with tambourine in her hand;
"Sing to the Lord
for He has triumphed gloriously
horse and rider he has thrown into the sea."
This was called the Song of the Sea.

The unadulterated song that Miiriam sang was simple and described the victory that the Israelites had over the Egyptians. As I listened to C.B.C. today talking about gospel choirs i was reminded of the Negro spiritual that said;
"O let us all from bondage flee
Let my people go!
And let us all in Christ be free
Let my people go!

Go down Moses, Way down in Egypt's land
Tell all Pharaoh to let my people go!

Music has had a big influence in my life and especially some of the hymns, the gospel songs, and the songs of freedom sung by people like Buffy Saint Marie or Joan Byasid or Bob Dylan. Songs for social justice and songs of soul food that stir up within us great emotions and a desire to dance and sing.

The music at church was awesome today and it is so good to be able to express all you are in singing along, clapping your hands and even raising them in praising the Lord! The Negro slaves were introduced to Christianity by the white rich owners, who took freedom for granted.

I try not to judge a person by their nationality but certain traits some people have can be very annoying. The Canadian generosity can be misused and again I was caught waiting in line as there was an argument in front of me. I guess it is hard not to be a little prejudiced at times.
MONDAY morning and the music I hear is the washing machine rewashing the clothes because the laundry soap which said "Natural" is to smelly for dad. I did not notice the flower on it which should have been a clue. Some flowers like the peony have a lovely smell but it can be over-powering inside in a small place. I have done this before and usually now I am careful to see if it says no smell. Some people look for soap that makes things white; not me, it is the no smell I have to go for.

ULTIMATE REALITY

We look into the distance and we dream and we wonder.

Yesterday I had plans, nothing new in that, yet none of them where carried out. We were delighted to have a visit from Sandra and Randy and later Cathy; who had been at a baby shower for baby Uri, dropped by. I wanted to finish a quick read of my library books but my mind could not even settle on that. Dad did take it easier so that was good.

When I look out upon the ocean and it seems like the world stresses forever and here I am in this moment of time.
Is there an ultimate reality? Is there One Truth?
Is there "The Ground of All Being"?

Christianity maintains it does have a foundation upon which we base our truths. The writer Paul Tillich points out that there is a infinite center of human life that points to the power or the spirit that calls forth all living creatures; an inner reality. This seems to be where modern writers are taking us even further beyond the transcendental, external, personal God to a Being that breaths life into us and opens for us the very meaning of the existence of life.

Christianity recognizes that that Jesus was in touch with this ultimate reality that spoke so powerfully it offend the religious leaders of his day. My garden right now seems to have a mind of its own as it grows and spreads and yet there is a harmony and a unity that gives it beauty. How can there be so many different varieties of flowers and plants and trees and rocks etc.? Each beautiful in their own way yet magnificent when rocks form a mountain and flowers a garden and trees a forest. We are just guests or visitors here on this earth given the responsibility to looking after it. Sadly when oil spills happen like in the Gulf of Mexico we are all horrified at the results. When one ship is invaded by another killing and causing disaster like the Israels did to the activist bringing aid to the Palestine country which has been blockaded.

We never seem to learn.

We feel saddened by the world of violence and disrespect that we see around us. If I turn from the shore and look not very far down the street; in fact in the alleys just behind the big buildings I see the poor pushing their buggies full of odds and ends. They seem strangely happy. Like when I offer our friend a few bottles and cans I have collected he is grateful.

More grateful than a gift certificate for the Safeway.

My reality is different than all of theirs and yet I find happiness in simple things to. I treasure the visits with my family. I treasure the times dad and I snuggle together to watch our favorite shows.

Today we are off to Gracepoint Church to enjoy a different type of service and a different type of message! The message within the message is always about loving and sharing and being thankful and caring.

CERTAINITY

The Sylvia Hotel is still one of the landmarks in Vancouver that mean a lot to some of us who have lived here a long time. Yes, there have been changes but the moss still growths up the walls and the rooms are small and old fashioned.

We all like a degree of certainty but there comes a time when we must think about change. We can abandon the old ways and turn to embrace change but this is never easy.  In the Bible it is called repentance.It is so easy to think we know the answers and be intellectually stuck. And one of our greatest traits can be sheer stubbornness.  Some of us think small changes are all that is necessary. That will not help as it may take a complete turning around and starting in a new direction.

MOSES AND THE LAW

A happy little duck swims on the stream down by Scottsdale Mall.

Moses led his people out of Egypt through the Reed Sea into the desert and into freedom. This historians will agree began a new beginning for the Israelites. With freedom comes responsibility; and the awareness of the rights of others.

Moses clearly believed that on the sacred Mount Sinai he was given a law for his people. Yes, other civilizations had also been given similar laws but I do not know much about that. Moses experienced what would seem like a divine intervention when the Israelites escaped from Egypt.

In a Sacred place Moses again hears what he believes to be God, Yahweh [the Lord] giving him instructions.

They are not to worship any other gods but the one who delivered them and has given them salvation and freedom from bondage and now will call them into a relationship that binds their hearts in worship and in instruction of the law.

1. You shall have no other gods, before Me

2. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything that is in
heaven above or earth below or in the water under the earth. You shall not bow
bow down and worship the. [We have failed to keep this commandment]

3. You shall not make wrongful use of the Lord's name. Do not lie in the name of
God.

4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. We need to work but we also need to
rest and to worship with a grateful spirit. Just think if for one day a
week we just were thankful all day long.

5. Honour your father and your mother. Respect for our parents makes us healthier
and is the foundation of our families.

6. You shall not murder.

7. You shall not commit adultery. Respect what belongs to another

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not bear false witness.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house, wife or slaves, or animals or anything
that belongs to him.

Jesus draws us deeper into the very heart of God as he reminds us that God searches our minds and hearts and even our thoughts should come under control. Bad thinking leads to wrong doing.

Beth's law.
Today dad is going to take time off from building he is overdoing it and has had two bad headaches. I will not go striding off on my long walk but we can saunter through the forest or in the mall together.

WARMTH

LOVING-KINDNESS

The last time we drove down to the Sylvia it was a dull and dreary day but just being in our favorite place and then walking by the water made it seem brighter.

I was thinking of how the words we say and the things we do, especially little acts of loving kindness, how they affect our lives. Having supper over at the home of Sandra and Randy, having Theresa come and fix us a really good salad, dad taking time to drive me to White Rock on a day when I was too dizzy, little notes on facebook or comments on my writing are many of the ways I feel blessed. Mr kind friensds like Shirley who make such an effort to have rice crackers for tea so graciously prepared.

One of the ladies I visit in the Nursing Home wears jewelery every time I visit so I am going through some of my old stuff to find something to add to my rather plain appearance. I give her a big smaile and a gentle hug and tell her she is a positive influence on me. And truly they are.

Words of encouragement are what we all need. Words to live by like hope, trust, joy, faith, mercy and peace are but a few. The greatest of these is love. Love expressed in kindness means a lot.

"Philosophers and theologians, according to the book "The Future of Faith", were often torn between two convictions believing society needed religion to maintain order and yet they themselves could not honestly assent to such mythical propositions." How many preachers preach from their hearts with honesty and love?

As I pick up my mystery I know that the cruel and evil person will be murdered and often he or she does deserve to die. It is harder to figure out the person who appears to be good but whose hearts is so full of passionate rage they actually murder. We all have murderous thoughts at times or at least dark broding thoughts.

We compare our religions and find that if we could live the positive values that are present in their words of truth we would find the inner peace we are searching for.

TRAVELLING!

This is not like the old fashioned train I use to ride on. Trains were noisy and rattled as they sped along. Our holidays were always on train trips, to the beach or out here to the coast or to see my best friend who had moved to North Battlefield.
I thought they were exciting. Nice to see the sun this morning!

As a child I would sit on the train and gaze out the window and see a house in a small town we slowly passed through, or a farm with trees and animals and I would dream of living there, riding the horses or chasing the dog.

On this Christian ride through life I see myself as travelling and stopping at many houses where I get comfortable and then find I must move on. You see, this is a spiritual journey, where I find I cannot rest and be satisfied but I need to keep going. Everything I am reading now is forcing me to look back but also to carry on forward.

I think home groups will become the place where we discuss honestly our faith and where we are in our journey. Discussion with laughter that makes us think and learn to express what we feel deep inside. I think right now I am in a tent that is movable.

There are now changes in all religions moving away from dogma and rigid orthodoxy.

Enjoyed our discussion with Jane and Geof. at Zeller's. Then Theresa arrived bringing bread from New Westminster and supper for us all. Dad has a sore throat and a very runny nose but hopefully will be better today. He enjoyed showing the children his new deck and they love it. Will be doing my visiting today and dad may work on his tree deck.

FAULTS

Yes, I have a few, but don't we all. And if I forget dad helps to remind me. "Do you know that you forget to buy the lids back on jars tightly?" I will have to try harder. It would seem easy enough to do but i have my mine on more important things.

It is so much easier most of the times to see our own faults when the faults of other jump right out before us. Black and White.

Now we have been having problems with cars parking all around us and in front of us; but this was just a little too much. I do not know if the picture tells the story but the nose of the car was actually blocking the driveway; and it stayed there and stayed there.

I am not good at driving and especially backing up so dad put a note on the windshield. Now it just so happens I am reading a book about a speaker who was a teacher, then became a preacher, and then a speaker and before he came to speak yellow slips of paper were put on cars warning that this man was a liar etc. Yes, these were good Christian people afraid of seeing their faults.

I think that there were faults on both sides of the Israeli and pro-Palestine clash; and this too seem to be caused by fear and the need to control. I have mixed feelings about protesters.

When my children would come in complaining no one would play with them I would say "Well whose fault is that? Are you playing nice?" I should have been more understanding but being busy doing the cleaning or laundry made me unsympathetic. I could have done more listening and learned the real problem.

I have just received all my blood work back and it is looking good. I have decided if I am not happy with my doctor it may be partly my fault, just a little, so I will have it done in 6 months. He seems to like this.