LAUGHTER

Sunshine and laughter are good for the soul.

"Hey Joe,"  the police man in charge of serious crime says to his partner: "Do you think I should believe this guy?  He does nor know his own phone number and had to go check to find out the address he is living at.  Says he is looking after some wild big dogs while the owners are away.  Pretty suspicious I'd say.  Too bad we are so busy we won't have time to check him out.  But he says there are an old odd couple that can confirm his story, but they forget names and are not that reliable.  Oh well."

Yes, one cannot believe everything that one hears or reads about.  I can accept that many of the stories in the Bible are myths with a message but I cannot believe this about Jesus.  Some of the stories about him are pretty unbelieveable; like his strange birth, the miracles he did, the lives that he changed (and still changes today) and his viloent death and coming back to life. 

Again we come back to the search for the truth.  Some are even writing and calling the Bible a bizarre old book claiming to be the word of God and yet it contains inspired acts of violence that are suppose to be the will of God.  I think some common sense and a sense of humor are necessary as we do not trust in blind faith but look for what is good and noble and pure. 

I believe that the words and life of Jesus call to us to think for ourselves and the purpose and meaning of life is to love one another and to seek for unity within ourselves and with others.  False beliefs do cause suffering and mistrust if my truth becomes the only truth worth believing.

I woke up this morning after dreaming I missed the Cannucks Hockey Game because I could not get my computer to work.  In fact it ended up in pieces and I said to dad now look what you have done.  Thankfullu I could wake up and laugh about it.  I can look at other religions and see their own terrible history of religious intolerance but I also have to look at Christianity with the same critical lens.

The modern scholars are now looking into our past history and the dogma upon which the foundations of our faith has been built.  Personal transformation requires honesty and humility.  Asking oneself how can I use my weaknesses to become my strength.  Personality traits like assertiveness, confidence, bravery, aggressive and arrogant have to become more gentle and understanding if they are to bring out the best in us and in others. 

It is important to enjoy life and not expect to clean up all the mess we find.  Yes, life is messy and unfair but I need to appreciate and improve what I can trying to keep a sense of humor.  When we laugh together we communicate and I believe that the spirit of Jesus laughs with us!

We see a reflection of reality and learning to laugh together keeps us loving.  I am not pulling out any weeds until I know which they are so will wait for some helpful advice.

TIME

Everytime we go to the Sylvia Holtel in Vancouver on English Bay we enjoy a very relaxing time.  It is good to get away from the phone, housework, computers and even the garden; and especially that list of things that I keep putting off doing.    Sunday was a perfect day to spend time there.  There is an old-fashioned charm about the place. 

Spending time gazing out at the water as we sat on the bench at the beach was very healing and brings a quiet peace to the soul.

Time seems to stand still and as I treasure the memories of the past I embrace each day now with more and more appreciation of my loved ones and my friends.

Dad and I enjoyed our visit with Shara and her girls.  It was pure joy to feed and hold the wee baby.  I am so glad that she has regained her health.  Yes, taking care of children takes all your energy and yet the time can go by so quickly. 

Whatever I am doing I remind myself to find joy in just being and living in the moment.  Sitting in our kitchen sitting area I watch the birds flying back and forth to the nest they have made in our birdhouse.  Other blue birds come to spash and drink in the water of the pond.  I am looking forward to warmer days when we will be able to sit outside and listen to the bubbling of our little water fall.

The neighbor's cat comes and drinks in the pool in our front yard.  I had to hurry to try and capture him on film.  I will enjoy my walk today and cutting the grass later.  I am thankful for those who are praying for me and that I can pray for others.

Justice, our great-grandchild will be 7 on the 31, looking forward to seeing him one day soon.  He is having a party with friends.

Sunshine and laughter are good for the soul!

SADNESS

There was a feeling of sadness as each one of us at church was dealing with the sadness of the death of a dear friend, who we all loved and appreciated.

I am tired after a busy week-end and slept in so have no time to write as my friend will be waiting to walk with me.  I am thankful for my faith at this time.  We all are so fragile and can at times feel vulnerable and yet deep inside of myself I believe that our frailty makes us even precious.  The God, who is both female and male, is breathing new life into us every moment of every day.  When  heard the news I felt too sad to pray and yet a part of me rejoiced in the end of suffering, 

It is a comfort to know that the love we experience here now is holding our friend in arms of love and freedom from all pain.

Suffering is a part of being human and I am continually having to learn to do what I can with the energy that frustrates me because I wish that I had so much more.  I think that my spiritual growth has become a big part of me because I am limited and have to pace my involvement in activities.  I hope that I  have more compassion and this alone gives meaning to something that can seem meaningless. 

This was a busy week-end with our study group Friday, my seminar on Saturday, followed by a birthday party.  My body re-acted  and now it will take time for renewed energy to return.  I know that  I am not alone and that others also cope with their limitations and that we all can feel the spirit with greater depth in our awareness of Silence.

Today we are visiting Chloe the little one who has been so sick and now is doing well.

Dad and I just sat and enjoyed watching people going by and out enjoying a sunny day.

RECEIVING

This Sunday morning is sunny and promising.  I appreciate the old treasures from the past that remind me of how different life has become even in my lifetime.

I have had a busy but enjoyable week.  The Secret Garden filled my lungs with frangrant fresh air.  The beauty and thought that was created reveals the potential of one person with a dream and the willingness to work to bring his dream into a reality that could be shared with all who where welcome to come

I like the Bible story that begins in a garden because it was a place where people started to think and to even question everything.  I am a person who can think my own thoughts and discover for myself the presence of good and evil.  The need for knowledge drives us out of where we are to discover what we can learn only by experience.  Who I really am and who I am becoming.

I would love to be able to linger and stay in the quiet beauty of this garden but I get hungry  and I know it is time to leave.  There is a time to leave the story of creation and to discover God as the Spirit reveals what can seem to be invisible and unknowable but waits to be discovered.

I attended the Gluten-Free Health Fair at which Dr. Freeman, an M.D. Gastrointestinal Specialist from U,B.C spoke about the complications of this disease and it's treatment and cure.  There are new studies that are being done to help understand why some of us are at risk for this condition and why healing which happens in stages  never really cures.

We live in a world that is hungry for knowledge and power and yet individually we can, or I can, be imprisioned by my own thoughts.

SATURDAY

Yesterday dad and I drove down to Tssawassen Beach.  It was very windy as we walked down to the beach.  Many memories of happy times there!

Dad had a good idea to go to the Secret Garden and we enjoyed the beauty and the peace which had been created so lovingly.  This was a favorite place for our daughter Carol to ride to on her bike. 

I feel a lot like William Wordsworth who had a strong sense of an "unseen power" and out of this belief comes my faith that all life should be approached with reverence for the whisper of the Spirit in moments of silence  and  peace.

"A  presence that disturbs me
 with joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused
Whose dwelling is the light of the setting sun
And the round ocean and the living air
And the blue sky and in the mind of man
A motion and a spirit that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought
And rolls through all things."

A loving presence that lives and breathes the spirit of love into our very heart and soul.

Today I will be going to Choices for my class on Gluten-free living.  I am sure there are new things to learn.  I am tired after our meeting last night which was very interesting and positive.  To be with a group of friends who have a living faith is very inspiring.  A real pleasure!

 I will go for a short walk now although it is raining again.

Tonight is Glen's birthday party at Cathy's house.  They just love to welcome us and bless us.
Like our family gatherings it can be a little crazy but lots of fun.

"While with an eye made quiet by power
of harmony and the deeper Power of Joy
We see into the life of things."  W. Wordsworth

My faith is a passionate life affirming well from which I continually draw strength and courage and hope.

THE STORY TELLER

When I go visiting as  did yesterday I listen to the stories of those I sit and spend time with.  Most people want to share their experiences of life and it is amazing how much we have in common.

The Bible is full of stories, that are not always objective. but challenge the intellect and the imagination of the reader.  Passionate stories searching for the meaning of our existence and the presence of  God's love that can seem so elusive and mysterious.  Stories have always been apart of the vocabulary of even the moderately educated person.  The great stories of scripture, the Greek and Roman myths and even fairy stories that we all have heard.  I treasure my books as companions like a good friends.  I have my favorite authors like everyone else.

I like to think of Jesus as one of the great story tellers, who would gather a circle of listeners around him to invite his listeners into his search for truth and to  share his vision of a new future called the Kingdom of God.  He taught them to see the truth of their worthiness to enter into and be a part of a plan bigger than anything they had ever dreamt about.  He spoke, I believe, with an intensity that captured their attention.  They looked into his eyes and read his compassion for each one of them.  He spoke with a keen disconcerting intelligence to reveal to them the lessons to be learned from their individual experiences; bringing into the light the joys and pains of everyday living.  He wove the truth out of the mythology of their past traditions.

He put his heart into his message to breath new life into the souls of his listeners.  You are not alone he would remind them but there is a loving presence that surrounds you even if you do not feel it or believe in it.

 He also welcomed children to come and listen.  No one was left out but all where welcomed.  This is the true meaning, the true center of grace.   After he died it would be these stories they would remember and continue to tell to those who where willing to listen.  Each remebering differently.  This story of wonder and beauty was not meant to be changed into methods and facts but free to touch people in all variety of ways.

I have always loved reading to the children.  Both Morgan and Ben love to read and to be read to.

Morgan has the card game all ready for us to play.  Ben hopes grandpa will practice with him but he was too tired.  Yes, we do get tired easily these days.  Dad had to get his blood tested again yesterday and has some doctor appointments in June.

Tonight we join our study group as we read our book together.  Each one of us will find different parts speaking to us and because we do it helps bring life into this very serious book, "The Case for God."

I have been awake since 4 and it annoys me.  Dad gets his best sleep in now.  We will both have a nap before we go out.

This is the path to my friends house and we will be walking together again today.

TRUTH

It was a very wet and windy drive home from Chilliwack after a delightful afternoon with Ben and Morgan and Theresa.  There was a big bag of gluten-free goodies waiting for me that Theresa had purchased in the States.  It is so good to have something new to taste.  The children are always so happy to see us and full of energy and fun.  It is hard to pay attention to each one when you are trying to listen and play cards etc.  After our early delicious supper we went to watch Ben play lacrosse.  He is gaining more and more skill at this game which I think takes a great deal of skill.

The time went so fast and on the way home I was thinking of things I had forgotten to mention.  I tried to download some pictures but it did not seem to work, so I will have to wait for dad to give me some helpful advice.

I use to read the Bible more literally than I do now but it is all about trying to discover the truth that can be both frightening and demanding.  Believing that Jesus is truth and believing that he gave his life for the truth opens the way to God's heart of love for us all.  Truth that goes beyond reason and takes us deeper into unanswerable questions and keeps us searching.  As I look at the life of Jesus I hope that my life is being changed by what I am discovering. 

"You hypocrite,"  Jesus said.  "First take the plank out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  A humorous exaggeration!

Truth becomes seeing myself with some very enormous faults before I start trying to point out to others their much smaller faults.  Like the woman who reaches out in faith just to touch the hem of the robe of Jesus I want to do the same.  At times truth seems clear but at other times it can vanishtruthfully I do not feel like a walk on this day that feels cold and damp..  

Trying Again

Yesterday morning I felt so crappy and there was no reason that  could think of.  I was just not thinking very well anyway.  Felt better after a rest but it was disappointing not to be able to join Jane for lunch.  Dad and Geof set off to Boundary Bay Airport and enjoyed a good time together.  We enjoyed watching the hockey game with Panteli.  It was exciting but it was very hard for me to stay awake.   

Today I think I will cancel lunch with the Jetlag Bible group as we are driving to Chilliwack to visit Ben and Morgan and watch Ben's lacrosse  game.      I have my new computer set up at the desk and dad put on the mouse so I like that better.  

I believe we all want to be happy which means different things to each one of us.  I have to believe that one day I will be able to use this computer with some degree of confidence and that the happiness of writing in the morning will return.                                                                                                                                                       

       Faith is hard to describe if one thinks of it as a blind belief that means you stop thinking and searching.  I am  sure there are reasons why I have chosen to put faith in a God of mystery and have found comfort and strength in doing so.  I do not have a scientific mind although I did well in Physics and Languages is school.  I believe that my faith encourages me to have an enquiring mind and an open heart. 

The interpretation of scripture is changing over the years since  I first believed and like learning anything that requires thought and study it can be a challenge.  I do not understand nor do  put energy into understanding the Old Testament god.  I have enough to do with trying to figure out the words of Jesus and the deeper meanings that he was trying to reveal.  But  believe that he is trustworthy and woven into the testimony and experience of those who wrote these words there are glimpses of truth.

SIMPLE

I like it when life is simple but I am having a difficult time with both my new and old computer.  Without dad's help I would just give up.  I know  that it is probably good for my brain at least i hope that it is.  

Yesterday we drove over to see Luise Guida in the Maple Ridge Hoapital.  The drive was very smooth and easy.  Finding her was again tricky as she had been moved to I.C.U because of heart problems that had caused her lungs to fill up again.  She has responed well to treatment and hopes to be home soon. 

PHILOSOPHY

A calm walk in the woods was a welcome change from all the tension and excitement watching the hockey game.  Dad and I just wander through different paths and eventually end up where we started.  We did not even lose each other.

I am reading about the changes in religious thought and how at one point it was believed that there could be a philosophical religion that would be built on love and compassion.  Enlightenment meant moving away from superstition which was often based on fear.  What mattered was the truth.  To be really philosophical I find that the instant something seems plain it only seems to stir up different questions.

I have my opinion but I need to be open to debate, disagreement, controversy; which if done with respect for the beliefs of others can be a benefit and a learning experience.  I think what I am looking for is what is good and life-giving, a way of peace and fulfillment.  It is not about dogma that allows only one way to be right.

Mystification is deeper than any words.  No one sentence in scripture can capture all that is hidden within even one chapter. 

There is a new coffee house in London called "The Idler Academy" a place for the discussion of philosophy, husbandry and merriment.  Our we going back to the times of Enlightenment when Voltaire, Robespierre and Rousseau to name a few held court and stimulated deeper thinking into the meaning of life and religion.  The author of the article in the Sun Newspaper wonders if we are finally moving beyond superficiality that is in danger of becoming "soulless" to using our mind and reasoning powers to expand and to challenge us all.

"The conflation of caffeine and debate once launched a thousand wits - and gave birth to the Enlightenment."
Rowan Pelling in the Vancouver Sun.

What matters in real life is time spent with loved ones, the breathing of air, the newness of each day and the ability to listen and care.   

WRONG DAY

I was up even earlier than usual so that I could have some time to pray and go for a walk before I headed down to White Rock to the Celiac workshop.  Hoping to learn something new to help me cope with the mysterious and sometimes unexplainable re-action that I experience when I can eat something that makes me feel lousy.  This seems like it would be easy just to stay away from gluten but it is not.  After making the difficult decision what to wear I set off full of expectations.  Over the last while as I have done some more reading I have discovered some things that I had not realized.

So I had been looking forward to this day for several weeks and had expectations that new insights would help me especially gain more energy.  As you will have guessed it was the wrong day but fortunately I was a week ahead not a week late.  I did some shopping while I was there and then headed home.

It was also the wrong day for the world to end and that did not surprise me.  People cannot pick out certain verses in the Bible to prove what they want to believe; whether it is positive or negative.  I continue to try to discover something fresh and new and helpful as I read about the development of scripture.

There are three reasons to begin the search for the historical Jesus with John the Baptist.

Jesus' message continues the message of John and enlarges it.

All the gospels tell the story about John and Jesus but with different elements in the story.

The verifiable historical record of Jesus begins with his appearance as a disciple of the popular ascetic John.

The church has made baptism one of the first steps if one wants to follow Jesus and his teachings.  John the Baptist who denys being reborn as the Jewish prophet Elijah continues to be like him that he also is a voice of one crying in the wilderness.  A simple act of washing with water would replace the need for animal sacrifice and the need for priestly authority.  It was and is a simple act of being cleansed of one's sinfulness and then starting life free of the past and open to the spirit.

A NEAR MISS

We were so glad we had changed our plans to attend Gracelyn's 17 birthday party.  Just a small family group with two of her sisters away.  We have been a part of Grace's life since her mother brought her home from the hospital.  Kathy was separating from her husband so she really needed some help with five active and very bright girls to bring up. 

Sandra our daughter had moved to Edmonton and Carol and Ron were having stressful problems which I did not know about but could feel something was wrong.  I missed looking after their children as they were now in school so there was an emptiness in my life.

The birthday party was great fun with dad telling his great stories and getting some teasing. 

This is Tavia.  She has just had her hair cut and Gracelyn decided to style it for her.  Their favorite Auntie Cathy came along with Grama Erma.  Dad had a big piece of chocolate cake and then another one for me.

The near miss came when we were driving home and a car ran a red light.  Fortunately dad stepped on the gas as the car whizzed right behind us.  A very near miss.  June 20 could very well have been our last day here.  I came home and climbed right into bed still shaken up by our close call.

Today I am at an all day seminar to learn more about celiac.  The more I am extremely careful the more I re-act to any little nasty gluten that creeps in unexpected.  Very strange.  I also think that I am re-acting to stress more so am trying to take life slow and easy and put all my worries in a box called forgetfulness.

I have been trying to read about the early stages of Christianity and I am amazed that this faith has survived through many ugly distortions and false beliefs.  I think that I would have wanted to be a "good" person even with out the influence of the teachings of Jesus and the influence of the lives that have touched mine that have been influenced by Christian beliefs.

I see God as a source of miracles and the creator of all that is good and beautiful.  I have not resolved the evil part. 

This morning I am glad to be alive and glad that dad is too! ! !

Rainy quiet walk by myself listening to the birds and enjoying all the colorful trees and shrubs!

FLEXIBLE

Still learning to be flexible with dad's crazy ideas.

Even the shade deck has sun!  This is dad's favorite place to sit and it is a wonderful quiet and private place hidden from the street and from our neighbors.  A great hide away!  A Great Idea! !

UPSETTING

Once again I left my wallet at the store counter and only discovered it when I was getting ready to go visiting.  Very, very upsetting for both dad and myself and shakes my confidence in myself.  I know forgetfulness can happen at any age but as you get older it brings other worries to mind.  It did give me something to talk about when I went visiting and I heard stories from others with similar experiences that did not turn out as good as mine in that I was able to go and get mine back!

It had been an exciting (for me) morning helping my neighbor's mom walk her daughter's two dogs.  I found it a handful when the dog would either want to stop and sniff of pull me faster.  We had a good visit and a few laughs on our way.

Sometimes I wish our church was a little less cerebral and old fashioned as I think about the younger people who may want something more lively.  I appreciate the warmth of the friendships and the richness of the theological reflection and the time and effort put into things like prayer and reaching out to our community.

Christianity is a connection of the mind and the heart and the hands that care for others; questions are encouraged, where my moments of doubt are a part of my faith, where I can explore a variety of answers and still in all of this experience the presence of Goodness!

I am thankful for my Sunday morning worship time where I focus on what it means to be a Christian in a world where upsetting things (much bigger than mine can happen) can happen.  Never take for granted the good things that give our lives meaning.

A LAZY DAY

It is sooo good to see the sun shining on our back pond early in the morning.

Dad and I enjoyed a lazy day around home yesterday.  He did a bit of painting and then took a old picture that he had and put a new one of the painting of the back shed and put it on his blog.  I must admit there was some charm in the old rustic shed that Sandra and I noticed but it certainly looks much smarter now.

I had a short walk over to Applewood (Gama's place) to see if I could find some little treasure for Gracelyn as it is her birthday party Friday night.  Came home undecided.  Did some work in the yard digging weeds and planting some seeds and watering the hanging baskets.

Started writing a letter to my brother and hopefully I will finish it today.  I have another letter to write to my distant cousin in Australia.  Neither one have computers. 

Tried to read the chapter again on Enlightenment where ignorance and superstition become the new original sin.  Reading about Voltaire and his definition of Deism in his Philosophical Dictionary.  Like Newton he though that true religion should be easy, it's truth clearly discernible, and above all it should be tolerant. 
"That which did not order one to believe in things that are impossible, contradictory, injurious to divinity, and pernicious to mankind and which dare not menace with anyone possessing common sense. 

Which taught only the worship of one God, justice, tolerance and humanity.  Sounds easy but the human mind seems to always want to know more and more.  So we question what is God? what is justice?   what is tolerance? and what is humanity?

Science and reason would bring to light even more questions.  Everyone must answer their questions in the way that makes sense to themselves.  I may believe in quarks and gluons and have no idea what a scientist is talking about but I trust that in his studying he has discovered these things.  But his does not affect the way I live my life. 

The morning sun and the beauty I see in nature as I do my morning walk, my conversation with Gunty and the simple pleasure of planting seeds are all apart of discovering the mind of the Creator and stirring not only wonder but also a desire to be helpful.  Today I will go visiting because I think that people need people.

So our day ended with an exciting hockey game.  I happily went off to bed while dad did the dishes and took out the garbage.

HELPLESS

Sometimes I feel helpless and overwhelmed by my own thoughts and all the suffering of those near to me and also all the suffering of worldly disasters.  I believe that one deals with their own pain by trying to reach out to help others.  There will always be inner self-questioning especially about why some seem to have to deal with so much tragedy in their lives.

Our culture has fallen under the influence of science and technology but are in danger of losing the true meaninging of life that only the soul can discover.  A person with no soul shuts there eyes to the suffering in the world and lives only for self-gratification and become users and abusers. 

There will always be questions that cannot be answered but if we use the intellect as well as the heart and are genuine about our feelings we realize how truly human and vulnerable we all can be.

I can read the sacred scriptures in search of a holy God, goodness mercy and compassion, and I can find that it raises doubts, criticism, envy, anger and frustration until I look beyond the surface to discover of both  love and hate, vengeance and death, sex and sacrifice that seem to be so full of contradictions, I discover others who have struggled with God and made wrong choices and yet His love has always been there with them.  The biblical characters are so human and of course they see God as they believe Him to be.

Words written by human beings trying to tell a story from which we can learn, seeing our own imperfections and weakness, and trying to do a little better each day.

Until we discover the true meaning of love and compassion how can we discover a God who loves and listens and understands.  Even the great philosophers cannot answer our questions or ease our feelings of helplessness.

Like the prophet Micah said we are called   "to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Thy God."  This calls for an inward and an outward response that calls us to be the best that we can be and treat others, especially those who disagree with us, with gentle respect and kindness.

A covenant is a invitation to reach up to God who in turn is reaching down to us.
A covenant is a blessing but also a call to be responsible.

Faith is a response to the giving of the gift of pure grace and trusting that prayer has the power to unite us and together change a world that is full of despair and helplessness.

I know that I am like the man who cried out to Jesus saying "Help" help me believe.  And Jesus did! !

This is from Mark 9 :24  when the man whose son was having convulsions said to Jesus
"I do believe, help my unbelief:.

UNFINISHED

Yesterday was a quiet day of healing for me.  I walked in the morning with Gunty and then a short walk in the afternoon to take this picture.  Some plans that we had made for the day had to be cancelled.  This morning I am feeling good and got up and made myself muffins with Quinoa flakes that are suppose to be so healthy for you.  I also cook it up and use it instead of rice.

I am amazed at the way people are dealing with the flooding in Manitoba and the fires here in B.C.  So many homes destroyed  and businesses lost.  I am amazed at their courage and strength.  It is a message to all of us to value our loved ones and appreciate what we have.

Growing older can sometimes mean withdrawing from some activities and things we once were involved in.  I am also aware of how unpredictable life can be but as I view my life as unfinished meaning, I still have lots to learn, and much to enjoy!

No heavy reading for me yesterday as my brain at the best of times can only absorb tiny bits of  deep thought and reasoning.  So I have the time but not the energy but I know it will come back.
Times when the body needs rest benefits the soul and again I experience that wordless yearning for more of the energy of God to vibrate within me.  It was so easy as a child to be full of wonder and awe in a tiny bug or a stream created by the rain; perfect to sail little sticks down. 

Unfinished because I am aware that within me there are two natures.  One is calm and the other is restless.
I am thankful that I am not a cynical person but have a faith that believes in the goodness of the human spirit.
That does not mean that I am unaware of the false illusions about God that calls for me to be a little more discerning.  I know that there will always be choices and decisions to be made and some will need prayer.

The cherry blossoms are finishing and becoming ground cover.
The flowers in my garden are not sure just what to do so they are slow in coming.
It is looking very green and the grass keeps growing and growing.

REAL

It is a real treat to have strawberries for breakfast and enjoying every bite.  After a quiet time of prayer I went off to walk in the quiet streets enjoying the solitude and the beauty of nature as trees and flowers are blooming more and more each day.  I walk among the pedals of the cherry blossoms which when the wind blows even gently rain down upon me.  My shoes squeaking as I walk on the damp pavement listening to the birds chirping in the trees.  I am thankful as I name my family and ask God's presence to be with them.  My heart is heavy as one of the dearest people is in hospital in pain with cancer and heart problems and not expected to live long.

As we gather after church for our prayer meeting group she is on all our minds.  Our minister Daniel has had a rough go with having to visit and comfort and be there for so many who have passed away.  In the midst of this life goes on as a family of three three year old come to church and delight us all by running up and down the aisle so curious about this place called church. 

We decide to go out to eat after church but for some reason the omelet I had triggered the celiac re-action of nausea and stomach bloating.  I find it discouraging as it slows me down and there is not much that helps I just have to wait for it to past.  It is hard to concentrate as I try to read for my other group that meets this week I think.  I had great plans of reading and taking notes.  There are things in each one of our lives that we just have to learn to accept and to live with.

The life long question weighs on my heart as I pray for others who have faced so many difficulties and there honest prayer is just to remove the cup of suffering from their lives; why do bad things happen to good people.  One of the most popular books a few years ago was called "The Secret" which seem to be bringing to light ancient truth that if we think positive thoughts the energy of these thoughts vibrate and bring good things to you.  This does not help me deal with all the questions around the suffering of others; those whose homes are being flooded and live hoods destroyed. 

Faith has to be real even when I feel that it is inadequate to take away all that is negative.  Compassion and love are what is real and helps us to comfort those in deep distress.  I am deeply grateful for those who have prayed for me over the years and continue to open my heart to the love and grace of God.  What a privilege to pray for others and to be prayed for.

Small lights shine in the trees of our shade deck and I am reminded that we each shine in our own way especially when we are our real selves, inadequate and humbled by life.

ENLIGHTENMENT

A little blurry but dad creates light in his shade deck ready for warm summer evenings. 
His joy is being creative and I somehow think the beginning of time was created with joy! 

We count our blessings as we are confronted with the world of suffering in which we exist.
A rainy dreary day tends to dampen the spirits of us all. 

Every time I water the garden at night the morning comes with rain.  Hmmm.

Enlightenment is the chapter of our study, and is was the dream that science and philosophy would bring new light to religion; free from having to believe the impossible.

I had great hopes for this plant but now I am told that it is a weed.
It was growing so well!  But now it is gone.

The truth is not always what I want to hear.

So Ken it is dreary and rainy but I went for my walk.  Hockey tonight!

TOGETHERNESS

The clouds dropped their moisture during the night so this morning it is looking like a clear day.
 Yesterday was perfect and all the better having  been waited for.

I am happy that we can do so many things together now.  It is great to have help in the garden and shopping and carrying parcels and even working in the kitchen together.  We are reading the same book, "The Case for God"  for our book club and enjoy the group discussions around the changing role of relion in our lives today.  

We like the same funny British T.V. but our now watching P.C. Hamish Macbeth the lazy sheriff who some how manages to solve baffling mysteries and outrageous scams in Lochdubh while having great difficulty with his own very mixed up love life.  We miss a lot of the words but it is still fun.  We also do some visiting together which makes it easier.  We go to church together but don't always discuss what we have heard as some things are left better unsaid! !

It is good to do things together but we still have our separate interests.  I do my walking and dad rides his bike, hopefully more now that spring is here.  Dad enjoys digging up  past ancestors  which is now revealing a french connections way in the past.  I enjoy my ladies groups where we share our common everyday lives and also pray for each others.  I am also part of a prayer team. 

Together we enjoy our family and lots of good memories.

This is the new basket that came full of goodies that we just hung up out front and hopefully between the two of us we will keep it watered.

UNBELIEVABLE

Sandra's garden looks lovely even with the poor weather we have been having.  Unbelievable.

The whole blog net-work was shut down first thing this morning.  I wondered what I had done?

Dad is talking about moving the furniture in our computer room.  Now tht is unbelievable!  He never ever wants to move furniture.

Listened to a documentary on T.V. saying that we have been inhabited by aliens and this makes us made in the image of something unknown.  Pretty unbelievable.  I would rather believe in angels and faries and even ghosts and glolies than strang creatures from space ships.  It is surprising what some people will believe!

Trying a new gluten-free receipe that looks good and should be good for you.  I am finally realizing that it is not enough to stay away from gluten but make sure I eat enough of what I can eat!  I am a slow learner.

As I take time to pray for those on our prayer list I am reminded that not only others are praying so I am not praying alone but the Bible talks about a glorious cloud of witnesses that surrounds us.  We are in the company of the spirit and angels.  Some would say does good things happening to others depend on whether we pray or not?  I believe that our thoughts are powerful and if we think loving healing thoughts they will add to the good that God is creating in us and with us.  I do not know if that makes sense but I am using toow much time here and it ia later in the day already.

"Indifference to the Sublime Wonder of being is the root of sin."
Abraham Joshua Heschel

"Human frail, faulted and flawed-out of this sorry clay God (el) produces people,
 male and female, who are to do el's will, to be in el's image."  Genesis 1:26.
 I am so thankful for the breath of life which is always a miracle.

Mather's day table waiting for the four of us to come and enjoy eating together!

DYSFUNCTIONAL

Right from the beginning of the Bible dysfunctional families appear.  Now these were a group of uneducated,
ancient, wanderers who thought they heard God but sometimes another voice would cause problems.  We were a smaller group of ladies that met at the church yesterday.  The rain drenched us even on the short walk from our cars.  But it did not dampen our spirits.  We were soon laughing at some of the craziness in our own lives.

I was wondering why we had not started the lesson so I said "I am glad I am not doing this study".  Oh but you are I was told.  Evidently I had missed a week and so I was on the wrong chapter and did not realize that I was to be the leader.  They all thought that was pretty funny but I was taken by surprise.

Genesis is a book of contradiction and paradox.  Chapter 22 has Abraham starting on a three day journey to sacrifice his son.  The thought makes me angry and confused and full of disbelief.  How could he?  How does this help me to relate to God as a good and loving parent?

We talked about fear and because they feared God they believed He had to be appeased by offering up a sacrifice.  They did at that time even sacrifice their own children.  An angel stops Abraham in the very act and a animal is provided instead.  Some believe that Abraham trusted God would bring his son back to life.

The sacrificing that continued would become a ritual that abused worshippers that came to the temple and where cheated and exploited.  Jesus became angry so angry he overturned their tables and drove out the abusers.  This is a place of worship and prayer he shouted because it broke his heart to see what was happening. 

We can talk to God anytime anywhere and we do not have to be in a church, nor say the right words, or even take the time to meditate and enter into of state of grace.  The spirit that brooded over the face of the waters in the beginning broods over all of creation.

Jesus tells us praying is not heaping up empty repetitive words thinking that the volume of our words are what God hears.  No it is the simple and humble prayer that is offered up from the heart that is the most powerful. 

The Bible will always be for me the Living Word of God written over many centuries by many different people.  I do not understand it all and some of it makes me angry and afraid until I find the peace of Christ that is hidden within the message.  Issac was saved.  God cared about Ismeal crying in the wilderness, and God cares for those who are lost and broken by life's harsh demands.

Life is not fair but we have to cope with what we have been given. 
We have moved from seeing God as the Lord over one nation to seeing He is Lord of all creation.

MORE

I had such a great day yesterday I was thinking I could sure enjoy more days like this.  Too cold to be outside in the morning so moved some furniture, ate a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, got signed up for a seminar at Choices for a information day about celiac,  reading about an Irish doctor who lives among wonderful loony characters in Ballybucklebo enjoying a good laugh, (most of my books from the library will be going back as it was mainly that I spent so much time there with dad I just kept picking books).   Dad helped me plant my one plant and then I dug out more weeds while he cut the lawn; it finally warmed up enough to be outside.  We had lunch out at Milestones where I have the gluten free salad which I really like, oh and I found my cell phone that has been missing for three weeks.  I had put it in the car glove compartment because in an emergency it would be of some use there instead of sitting at home.  Then dad and I sat on the chesterfield with our laptop computers and I posted my first message.  Dad has done a great job getting it all hooked up.  I am wading into this new contraption very slowly and carefully.

It was one of those days that it was good to be alive; another one to add to others.

I was very saddened to hear that Shara Moore's new baby girl is in hospital with respiratory problems.  She is Ron and Donna's grand daughter.  Those little ones are so precious and it is so hard to see them on oxygen and in a bubble tent; but that is the best place and the care is so good these days for children.

I can remember when our Ken was in hospital as a baby and the first time we where not allowed to visit at all.  That was so painful.  My prayers will be with Shara and the family and I see others are sharing with her on face book so that is a help.

Today I am off to my hilarious Bible study group, well it helps to have a clown in the group, especially going through the Old Testament.  It was very dangerous to be a woman back then as it is in some countries right now.  Dad will be off to the library to search out more "french" connections.  He can spend hours on the computer doing this.

Light rain this morning for my walk with Gunty.  Dad is very happy I have her as a friend to walk with.

I am on the old computer which is on its best behavior now that it's existence is threatened!

My neighbor is threatening to collect cans to buy me new runners.  They are comfortable like old friends and old clothes.  Very thoughtful of her though.  Yes I do have a better pair.