COURAGE

I have to go on my old computer to find my pictures.  I publish it and then transfer it to my main computer.  I have gotten used to typing on it and it is much bigger so I see better,  Very strange,  

I was thinking how as we older we need courage as well as determination as well humor and honesty,  

Facing any kind of illness is not easy especially when the doctors do not know what is wrong.

It took years for them to find out I was celiac and I was so very fortunate to have dad supporting and encouraging me,  I am happy Ken is supporting Melina.

I was very happy that Laura stayed to help dad take the bandage off his big ugly cut.  She helped taking the plastic bandages off and then helped clean it up.  She was not happy with the way it looked and will see it again on Friday.  Dad is reading out on the back patio and letting the sun and air get to it,

Oh no a wasp has just stung him right on his cut,  

I was thinking of the courage it must take to enter a competition like tennis knowing you will not be the winner.  But losers are important or there would be no race.

 

We went to the store called winners and I left feeling like a loser as I could not find what I was looking for.  You have to keep looking for what you want in row of clothes pushed together,

Dad got a pillow so he was happy,

I have already lost my first writing so I will stop now

"What is success?  It is being able to go to bed with your soul at peace.

Pablo Coelho

Each day we receive the courage we need to face the day,  That is always my prayer.

Finally

Water Shed Park  

Looking a little like fall.

Very hot day to day.

Took Spenser for a long walk first thing.

Dad was still in bed when we got home.

He finally got up and made breakfast.

I ate a second breakfast with him.

Yesterday dad had lettuce wraps made by Laura for lunch

and then his stew and mashed potatoes for supper.

Laura came with all the stuff to make her lettuce wraps.

Watching the hockey,

Ken phoned again to remind dad.

Yesterday we watched tennis.

The hot weather tries me out

and Spenser is tired too.

I am thankful for the dinner of stew we have for tonight,

Off to have a rest now, finally

CHANGING

                                   The weather is slowly changing and you can feel fall is in the air.
 I  look back on the supper dinner we had with Sandra and Randy.  They are both such good cooks.  

When we arrived Sandra was out in the yard with her apron on with a big pile of branches.  Randy was busy putting the final touches to the mashed potatoes.  Dad was happy to have his favorite meal of stew.

                too bad Carol and Panteli did not feel up to coming,

I am so thankful for all our thoughtful caring family.  We came home with T.V. dinners for the three.

Sandra had packed up three dinners for the three of us.

Sandra is already planning a big birthday bash for Sept. 5th.  There will be five birthdays to be celebrated.

I looked in the book box and there is a book about training your dog.  I think it was meant for me.  Spenser can be a nuisance.  He expects me to know why he is barking.  He smells the stew but his dinner is the same canned food with some dry food.  Is it possible to train an old dog not to bark?

I am thankful for sunny days but I know they will be changing into rain any day now.

Sandra thinks I do not tell all but really dad and I live a very quiet  and unchanging life. Secret sins I wish.

I am thankful that we are as healthy as we are.  

I am unhappy because my computer has changed my photos.  Grumble grumble.

BLESSINGS

                                                I am blessed every  time I meet another dog walker.
  I am rereading "My Grandfather's Blessings.  I find comfort and strength in her words.  She knows all about illness so she can speak from her heart with compassion and kindness.  Every life matters, young or old.  It is not about achievements but opening our hearts because we care and understand each other.

I am thankful that Sandra was firm about no Sunday dinner if we had not been tested.

. 

I am thankful Panteli and Carol stopped by for a visit bring a testing kit.  

she was a great help in showing us the steps.

I was happy when Panteli took Spenser for a walk.  The second walk in the day is a big effort for me.

Spenser is a blessing but he can be annoying.  He is barking at the front door right now, and I know he really needs to go out.  I have to quickly get dressed and eat later.  Dad will pick me up at the park.

I will continue these thoughts to-morrow.

QUICK

                                                     A quick note on my blog.

Dad and I had a good day yesterday.  Dad rescued a little guy who was in the way of the clerk pushing buggies heading right for him.  Dad pulled him out of the way of the  clerk who had not been able to see him was very thankful.

Dad has always been good at rescuing people.  And he is still doing it.  

It was good to talk to Mary and Ken who rescued us from feeling bored.

Yes it is good to have cooler weather although I feel today may be warmer

Dad had a good night.   I am glad I phoned the doctor and got him a new inhaler.

I had thought they might have wanted to see him and listen to his chest.  He is to let the doctor know if he gets worse

I have some bread that is not sliced and it is very hard to do it.  I always end up uneven.

I am thankful for sliced bread.

Dad is now up so I will join him and then Spenser and I will go for our walk.  ///dry leaves are falling on the path now so it seems like fall.

FIRST

 I am up first.  We had a very bad night last night with dad coughing for over an hour.  He stops and goes right back to sleep.  I am now wide awake.  I will be ready for a morning nap.

I look back at my day yesterday.  Always some positive things happen.  I make a new friend at the park.  She enjoys reading and she is sitting by the rock reading.  Her name is Kim.

Later in the day  take Spenser for a walk to the park.  It was an effort and I was happy when we got back home.  I left the door open to let a little breeze.  Dad takes Spenser leash off ,  We are busy talking and do not notice he has taken off out the door.  As soon as we look around and see no sign of him we go outside to look for him.  No sign of him,

Dad backs the car out ready to do a big search,  Before he starts he sees Spenser on the neighbors yard across the road,  He runs away from dad but I am able to catch him.

Even I do not trust him any more.  He will not go out alone or without being on a leash.

The day had been a little stressful with a visit from Pat and John,  They arrive hot and tired and looking stressed.  Time for ice tea I say.  I forgot John does not drink any tea or coffee and Pat hates ice tea.  .we offer them cold water.  They had arrived late in the afternoon and my energy levels were also down.  They did not plan to stay long but they did.  I hope they left a little lighter in spirit.

The spirit within each of us I believe lives deep in our souls.  

"It gives us strength and wisdom,

Laura is here now

I phones the doctor about dad's cough.

WHENEVER

                                             Spenser is happy whenever he can find a pillow to sleep on.

                                             Some of the best ones are at Sandy and Randy's home.

Yes dad must have needed his big sleep.  I think at times we all wish we could do that.  He did not want to wake up.

We are living a happy life of whatever whenever.  We wake up when we want, we eat what and when we want, we read  different  books  and we go on our computers when we like., we watch some T.V. together.  Dad watches more hockey or tennis or football and he enjoys it.

This all seems very simple but it has taken me a long time to learn it.  Growing up we were expected to be present at every meal.  Now it is very special when our families come together to eat and talk and laugh and just be ourselves.

Today we are waiting for Pat and John to come for a visit.  It is hot, especially in the sun, but the back patio seems okay.  I may suggest we go to the White Spot where it will be very cool.  Dad and I like to eat out and then we do eat together.

We are all unique,  one of a kind..

Dad is now finished on his computer and I will go watch him make his lunch.  I ate hours ago.

We believe differently.  For me my faith is built on a firm foundation but that does not mean that I do not also see it as a mystery full of awe.

LOVE is a mystery!

SLEEP

                                                  New mothers know how important sleep.

                                                  My advice is to rest when they rest but that is not always easy.

I was pleased when dad decided to have a rest in the afternoon yesterday.  When I went up to wake him up for supper he was sound asleep.  I went back an hour later and he was still sound asleep.  He admitted it was hard for him to wake up.  I was getting concerned.  The last time he had done this he was having a slight stroke.  I asked him if he had a headache and he said no.  He could speak all right.  I was getting worried.  Do I phone 911?  The ambulances are all too busy and the emergency full.  I wait another hour.  I am very worried. 

What a relief he gets up to go to the bathroom.  I am trying to remember the signs of a stroke.  Should I phone family?  No I must make this decision myself.  He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

It is another sleepless night for me  .In the morning he tells me he was dreaming and wanted me to stop bothering him.  He laid down at 3.  in the afternoon.

I want to be helpful and kind but life will ask questions I cannot answer.  I do my best.

AGE

Not my best picture.

This is me when I get mad at the computer.

Dad was so pleased that some one wanted his picture.

He has many good memories of going in the plane and painting with Tony Only.

My dad was disappointed when Traudel did not want his pictures.

He wanted to renew eye drops but first the Safeway said they were no longer available.

Then they said they could substitute some other ones but they might bother him.

Finally they said they were able to get the ones he wanted.

We will pick them up to-morrow

I am glad I am now old because now I have grand children and great grand children.

When you get old you can do and say outrageous things.  The most important thing is to be able to laugh at yourself.

We all three of us are feeling tired to-day.

So listen to your life.

"It is a fathomless mystery

In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness

touch see and smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it

 all moments are key moments and life itself is grace.

Hope Rick was able to keep his table on his car to drive to the buyers.

enjoyment

 We all get enjoyment from the beauty of nature.

I always enjoy being with the family.  Last night we had supper with Carol and Panteli,

We were wined and dined.  Actually no wine but fake beer and sparkling water.

We arrived and were met by a happy tail waging dog Haiti   Carol  had wet hair so I believe she had been swimming.  Panteli was in the kitchen putting finishing touches on the salad.

We were eating out on the balcony  surrounded by giant trees looking down we could see golfers just finishing their round..

It was a sunny Sunday.

We were all sitting down enjoying the first bites when I started choking.  

They all responded with the right questions to which I nodded.  It was a test.

It took only a minute but a minute can seem long at times and I was better.

It had been a quiet day reading,  I enjoy reading the Bible and finding out ways it speaks to me.

We got call from Sandra who has been working hard to do our taxes.  They are now all done.

A lot of hard work and we were happy to have her do it.

Even doing that together was an enjoyment because we were together.

I enjoy being with family, I also enjoy hearing from them.

I am  having trouble finding pictures on my camera.

I enjoy taking pictures and sharing them on my blog.

Time for me and Spenser to go for our first walk of the day which we both enjoy!

AWARENESS

                                            Wade Road Park.  Dad is holding Spenser.

Looking for my pictures from the Watershed.  //could not f\ind them.

We where having trouble with the air Conditioner and fortunately Sandra turned up to help.  It is on a little platform now.  We feel much better about it now.  Dad will not be getting up to fix it in the middle of he night.  The thing was it did not need fixing.  He has a nasty cut on his arm.

We talked about going out for lunch but stayed home and had sandwiches instead.

Today we are looking forward to going in to Carol and Panteli's for supper.

How do I define spirituality?  It is being aware of the presence of God, who we cannot see.  I read about A.A. taping into an ancient source of spiritual awareness.  A journey that begins with humility and imperfection, our every day struggles and failures.

Every human being is a spiritual being but a lot of people are just not aware of this.

Yes spirituality involves learning how to live with imperfection of being human,  We are aware of suffering that will be a part of our story of faith.  Especially then we need the awareness of the presence of God.  We are not alone.  Prayer helps us to be aware  There will be times of doubt and fear and for me times when I feel lost and alone. 

A grateful heart finds courage to carry on.

"Be still and know I am God"  A promise written to help us be aware of Hope and sustaining Grace.

When I feel calm I  am aware of Him,

ORGA\NIZED

 I need to be organized especially first thing in the morning.  I have a little burst of energy.  I open the front door to let the cool air in.  I hear Spenser come down and he does not come into the kitchen.  I have to look for him out side.  No sign of him.  I come in and look up the stairs and he has gone back up stairs.

I go back to making my coffee and putting dad's pills out.  I have to check to see if he takes them all.

I write in my journal.  My brain energy soon runs out.

Then it is out side to do a little in the garden.

Back in to write on my blog. Spenser comes and joins me lying beside my chair,

Now it is time for our walk.  I think walking helps me to keep strong and I hope reading and writing help me to strengthen my brain.

My goals for today include think positive, keep calm, to be a good listener., and to phone a sick friends and to write a few birthday cards.

No pans for today.  May go shopping for clothes if I feel up to it. 

Getting warm!

DULL

                                             
                                                         We were both very tired and I was just drifting off to sleep when dad started coughing.  .A  dull night turned into coughing and dancing.  Dad seemed to be dancing with the /Air conditioner.  They both fell over and dad got a very nasty cut on his arm. I took on the role of Florence Nightengale  The cut had to be cleaned and the blood was pouring out down his arm.  I did not do the best job but with about five bandages we got it covered,

I could not get back to sleep.

I was thankful Laura would be here in the morning.

Carol dropped by to see us and join us for lunch.  We enjoyed eating out in the back yard,

Took Spenser to the Watershed Park.  We left as a big nasty bit bull arrived.  His owner wanted to be sure Spenser was on a leash.  He was. He was just lying down on the path.  He does not like the hot weather,

Dad is watching football so he is happy,  I have the cough medicine ready for tonight.

TOO HOT

Too Hot.

Dad and I each worked in the yard for about twenty minutes.

We were happy to have all the bags taken away

starting on a new one now.

Took Spenser to the /water Shed park.

It is beautiful in there but not all that cool.

Did a quick shop at shoppers.

Thankful for our cool bedroom.

 

OLD FASHIONED

                                                Another sunny day.  I cannot believe that summer is nearly over.

                                               I love the fall too. The fall colors , nature showing off.

My ways and values may be old fashioned.  Looking over  some  summer clothes I realize they are old fashioned.  Some are too big and some are too tight.  Yes my shape changes and now I have no shape at all.  Time to go shopping.

I had plans to go out looking for something new to wear but our neighbor Natasha who lives beside us and who we talk to over the fence welcomed the invitation to come over for a drink.  Coffee or tea?

She is an amazing person who writes for the movies.  She is happy to be working from home now.

She loves the squirrels and the birds but hates the raccoons.  She says they eat squirrels,  She names the squirrels that come into her yard.  Her favorite one knows her name and comes to eat out of her hand.  She has lost a leg and we have called her  Hop a Long.

Her mom has cancer and she now goes into town to help her.  She is very knowable about cancer because so many in her family have suffered with it.  Even L one had the same as Carol and she is better now.

We value her friendship. 

"I realize that I have all the tools and resources  I need.  Now is the time to make choices and live out what I value."  I am happy being me, old fashioned and secure in my faith and my love for family and friends.  I am happy we can live in our own home.

Old dreams have been replaced with new.  New friends added to the old ones.  New challenges.

Anything is possible if you keep dreaming.

GIFTS

 

                                                   Every day is a gift.  

                                                   Laura has been a gift to dad and I with her caring and helping us.

                                                  We have been a gift to her as she shared her life and especially about her mom living and dying.  We listened to her express how wonderful her mom and been and how difficult it was to seeing her change and become helpless.  She had helped so many.  She adopted Laura and two native brothers to add to her family of 4.

We want her to take as many days as she needs.  It is time for the family to come together and be a comfort to each other.

Dad and I feel blessed to have each other. and each one of our children.  They are a great support as we lose the ability to do many of the simple tasks we have done in the past.

There is a time for every thing.  A time to express the love we feel in our hearts.

You are all so different in personality and how you express your spirituality.

I expressed to our grandchildren how important it is to be loved.

You have been a gift that we cherish every day all day.

Today we will go shopping for groceries a task that Laura has been doing.

Laura let us know she is coming to help us to-morrow.

Thankful for the gift of life!

Thankful for the life and death of Jesus and how he revealed the true heart of God

He revealed that love never dies but lives on within us.

ONE

                  

COLD weather does bring on the cold and flu.

Hope the children are feeling better Ken.

I am better at getting rid of junk.

and at times I wished I had not given an item away.

My day often begins and ends at the park.

 

There are times when our lives are changing.

I let home in Regina to move here with dad.

One thing I have learned is that one person can not meet your needs.

It takes a family.

Yes I left a  job where I was being promoted.

Receptionist to the boss over the typing pool.

I had started out as one of the group.

Yes my heart was set on getting married.

Little did I know I would be in a battle for my health.

I began to start a life of prayer.

It gives my life meaning and hope every day.

Talking to a God of unconditional love

gave me strength and it still does.

Laura will not be coming for a few days

her 90 year old mom has passed on.

She was the love that  kept the family together.

I did not sleep well last night

I was thinking of Laura and her family.

I believe that our thoughts can be our prayer.

 

SAME

                                                 Sandra making a mess,

                                                 She returned with Randy to do a huge clean up.

                                                 Randy says he is fine. Should I believe him?

                                                 This picture turned up unexpectedly.

                                                 I cleaned up the back patio just a little.

                                                   I have been missing Frank walking his dog and today I found he had to be put to sleep not Frank the dog.    He was very old blind and not well.  So sad.  Spenser liked him.

Well Sandra congratulations on returning to school.  What are you taking?  I think dad should take a course too. 

Dad had a bad night and morning with his stomach problems after eating out.  We are not getting any smarter with old age. 

Yes dad and I have the same problem with what to through out or give away.

I wander from room to room looking for my glasses.  On my head of course.

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly with yourself."   Accept limitations and imperfections.  We can do better if we are willing to try. "Francis de Sales.

It is important to get your rest,  to keep active and friendly, to keep searching for the truth.

It is Sunday a day to reflect on the condition of our souls.

STILLNESS

                                                   

God is in the silent stillness of the new day,

Love makes every day Holy.

Life is a mystery that waits to be discovered.

Listen to your heart.

Begin each day prayerfully.

Yes there will be moments of pain and disappointment

Do not let them fill your heart

but release them to fly away,

Leave room for the healing presence of Divine Love.

We are all beautifully made

perfect in our imperfection.

  

Sandra and Randy have arrived.

       an answer to my prayers. to my prayers  computer stopped working.

SATURDAY

                                                 I like Saturday.  It seems like a relaxing day.

Dad and I enjoyed our day together.  I walked Spenser before we went out for a late lunch.

We went to the Cattus Club to share a salmon dinner.  The waitress is always glad to see us and have a chat with us.

As usual we are always glad to get home and we both have a nap.

It is good when you can share your happiness with others.  We have had our individual dreams of happiness and success.  We know now what we value most in life instead of wanting more money and more success.  It is in giving and receiving love that give to us a sense of well-being and stress free days.

We have been blessed with loving and caring children.  They are precious in their own way.  At times it was stressful and exhausting but they added  meaning as they challenged me to grow and learn.

I remember how I would look at them sleeping and feel an awe and smile.

Now I look at Spenser and he looks so cute and I have to smile.

I hope everyone had a good Saturday.

We will be watching Heartbeat!

TIME

                                                This is the mess.

We did not do any work on this pile yesterday.  Instead we drove to Tsawwassen and ate at Mario's.  Made friends with a delightful young girl born in Beach Grove.  She knew Panteli from when she worked at the coffee shop.  He hyad helped her get a course she wanted.

I stayed up tp late and got over tired and couldn't sleep.

The raccoons are making a mess of our back yard.  This time they even unplug our pump and over turn plant pots.

It is important for us to take time for ourselves and for our relationships.

Take time to listen to the wisdom that lives in each of our hearts and find harmony and inner strength.

One of the most important messages Jesus brought into the light of truth was "the kingdom of God is within you."  A sacred place that restores and renews us every day.

NEVER

Never thought I w0ould live so long

and be so healthy.

Never thought I would have a house keeper

who cleans up and makes our lunch.

My shopping is done for me too.

Never thought I would make so many new friends.

Never thought I would have a dog again.

Never thought I would need to use a walker

but it is a great help.

I do not need to worry about how I look.

I am responsible for my health and happiness.

Never thought I would feel so loved!

I am very thankful

for my family

they help me a lot.

 

FINALLY

 

                                               

EARLY

Wide awake and it was only 4.

I lay there until 5.

I got up and read

and then went outside.

I tried to clean up a bit but it did not look any different.

We are going to the store later this afternoon.

We need those special brown bags, 

We also need some food.

I wrote a card to Mary and a note to Kim.

I think I need to share a bit about my childhood,

I did much the same as they did.

Riding bikes and going swimming.

Three of us would ride out to three old houses just out of town.

We believed they were haunted.

We would dare each other to go in.

I got really afraid when I did..

I walked to the swimming pool over the train bridge.

Hoping the train would not come.

In small ways I was learning to be brave.

I also liked riding out to the university

and dream of going there one day.

I could leave home a little sad but ready to grow up on my own.

I love the early morning when it is still cool.

 

TROUBLES

-------------

Computer troubles again.

I was so surprised yesterday when I was doing as little work in the garden and Sandra you arrived all ready to work.  I took off for a walk with Spenser and came home and had a nap and you were still work.  You took down huge branches so the the little bench and walk way was opened up again.  You did a great job and we were amazed but you did do too much.

I went out and filled one bag early this morning.  We need to get more of those bags.  We were going to go shopping after we took Spenser over to Boundary Park.  There was no breeze and it was too hot.  We came home and rested in our cool bed room.

I worked in my computer room too long and got all heated up again.

Spenser wants to go our again so off we GO.

 

MYSTERY

I like to read.

I like to read mysteries.

The mystery of the parcels has been solved. 

Randy has dropped by this morning to pick up his underwear.

I wonder what he will be ordering next.

He has found out kidney stones are terribly painful.

I do not always know why I write what I write.

Our bodies can be a mystery.

They do not always behave the way they should.

Our heart mind and soul hold mysteries yet to be discovered.

Why do I do stupid things with out thinking?

I know I can and I will do better.

Spirituality also can be a mystery.

St. Paul knew the mystery of doing what he did not want to do.

Part of spirituality is learning to deal with failure.

 

STRANGE

Strange packages.

First one was three round balls to kill bugs.

This is from Randy.

Maybe he thinks we need them'

They were suppose to be for them.

The second one today was again addressed to me

from some strange man

four pairs of men's underwear.

It must be the hot weather.

.the last two days have been cooler.

we have bees flying in and out of our front porch.

They do not bother dad but I do not trust them.

Last year I stepped on one by mistake.

I feel a little bored but do not feel like doing much.

Trying to find a good book to read.

I do not feel like reading anything that is a self help book.

Some how being, being me, is as important as doing.

All life is important.

Maybe this is strange too.

 

WAKEFULNESS

                                                 The gift of wakefulness is to aware of where we are 

                                                 and who we are and why our life matters.  This takes faith 

                                                 and sensitivity and courage.  One step at a time and one

                                                 day at a time.

Always a lot to be thankful for.  Thankful that Randy passed the stone and keeping busy as usual.  We are thankful for l\all the help he gives us.

Yesterday we were thankful for all the help Laura gave is in clearing out the old fridge and moving it out so we could unplug it. Dad was also busy cleaning out the old jars we will be giving away.  The delivery men arrived early and fortunately we had finished our jobs.  We really like our new frig.  I like the freezer on top.

We were thankful when Carol and Panteli arrived with a delicious meal.  We were both very tired and Carol was also tired so they left early.

The morning was cool and a little rain but both Spenser and I woke up early and were ready to go.

First I pray a simple prayer of thankfulness and with deep sense of gratitude.

This day we are taking our time before going out to Shopper's Drug Store 

Spirituality takes time to be grateful for the good but also aware of the negativity that can brake out of our hearts when we forget to be positive.

OLDER

                                               We may be slowing down but we still enjoy reading.

                                                We enjoy spending time with family.

                                                 We were happy to have Carol drive us to Sandra and Randy's.

                                                  Randy did a great job barbecuing chicken and beef on a stick.

                                                   We were happy to sit in the cool house.

                                                    Spenser was a nuisance.  He does not like the heat.

                                                    He finally found a place to rest beside a fan.

                                                    Dad took him out for a short walk when we got home.

                                                    We will enjoy a walk early in the morning when it is cool.

                                                     I have been finding it hard to sleep at night

                                                    but during the day I can nap just fine.

                                                   Dad and I are both taking Melatonin now

                                                   It is helpful.

Getting older can be difficult because we cannot do what we used to do.  We can enjoy the beauty of nature and visits from family and friends.  We know we need to rest more .We enjoy a quiet day as well.as the busier ones.  In the past noise and distractions could keep us too busy and stressed.  We accept each day with thankful hearts and quiet spirits.