TROUBLE

                                             Lots of blue sky as Spenser and I walk through the park.

Dad has been in pain all day but we think we may have found what the trouble is.  He had a fall on his bike and landed on his shoulder.  The pain was under his arm pit and up his shoulder.  Talked to Hamlet on the way to the airport.  We will follow his advice.  If it is not better he can go to a clinic or to see his doctor on Monday.

Hope we both sleep a little better tonight.

Spenser has been a lot of trouble today.  Woke us up early by jumping on he bed.  He also was barking a lot.  I took him for a big walk around 3 so I hope this will help him sleep too.

I had to rewrite my blog as it disappeared on me.  So annoying.

No church in the morning which is disappointing for me.

The Christmas story is all about the power of love.

Why do we all start feeling stressed?

We all have different expectations.

I am happy just to be with family! ! !

CELEBRATIONS

Carol greets us with the trees all aglow with lights.

Panteli is teching school.

Haiti comes running out to see us too.

Sandra and Randy have picked us up and driven us over.

Hamlet shows off Kim;s certificate.

We are all proud of her~

We are celebrate Hamlet's starting to practice as a doctor in Ventura.

This is a farewell supper.

He leaves on Sat.

Randy refuses to smile.

I take a picture anyway.

Carol wants to plan Christmas.

Dinner will be at her and Panteli's home.

Sandra and Randy will do the turkey and trimmings.

We will exchange Secret Santa presents. 

I want to find a church to attend Christmas Eve.

This has always been a speial night for me.

God gives us the gift of love, Jesus comes as a baby.\

I like that this is a natural way for the spiritual gift to arrive as a real human.

Dad has painful ribs this morning.

He has gone back to bed.

Spenser and I are going out for a walk.

REFLECTION

Just a few Christmas oraments.

I reflect on the significance of each.

Chosen or made for me.\\

As I sit with Joan at the Nursing Home I reflect and wonder will this ever be me?  

Spenser visits with a few others sitting around in the circle.  Joan likes to hear all about him.  She is so pleased to see us both.  She always reminds me to say thank you to dad who drives me. 

The Home is sitting on a high gounnd in White Rock and as I open the door to leave there is a gret blast of wind that nearly knocks me over.  It does not seem to bother Spenser as his little legs carry him as fast as he can go to the car.

We enjoyed watching the hockey game when we arrived home.  It was very exciting but the Canucks could not keep their early lead and in the end they lost.

Yeah good work Kim on graduating from U.B.C.

How wonderful when we discover the inner potential in us all.

We are proud of each one in our family and their achievements.

Why do Christians go to church?

To be inspired.

To hear a good story.

To understand the words of Jesus better.

To share our lives and to help one another.

The goal is spiritual maturity that puts into practice what we are learning.  

It is hard to be patient and understanding when our energy if low.

"No one is as whole as he who has a broken heart."  said Rabbi Muske

Dad took Spenser for a short morning walk but it was not long enough for him/

I walked over to the park later.  It is cold but sunny.

Are we saintly sinners or holy fools?  

ERRORS

It was a good day on Monday but it was also fatiguing.

Stayed awake for the hockey game

but not to watch my show :Murdock at 8.

We seem to be going to bed very early as both of us feel tired,

Monday we went to the library and to Canadien Tire to get a new part to fix it.  As soon as we got home dad started working on it and I took Senser for another walk.

To day which is Tuesday dad went to the skin cancer doctor.  He had several spots burnt and returns for another appointment to have some surgical removal. Itisaspot onhis nose.  I had planned to go with him and then visit Joan.  Plans changed when I got the message my eye appointment was a 3.  The big error was that the appointment was in the eye clinic right next door not back at Dr. Zacks.

We arrived at the doctors office, Dr. Zack, but in extra pay because the wait usually is so long.  Again we are in the wrong place.  Dad is very cheerful about it all but it was discouraging.  Another long drive and another long wait.

I am choosing to be able to read without glasses if possible.  I will not be doing much driving anymore.

The morning traffic was very bad with a lot of accidents.  There is always a lot of traffic in Surrey now.

Time to stop and count my blessings!  I am thankful for our safe drive today, even though dad had a close call earlier in the day with a big truck running a red light.  He put on the gas and got out of the way.

We had a good visit.  Everything is set.

There was an invitation to have supper with Carol and Panteli but we did not get home until it was nearly 5.

As Bernie Segel says "Life can be like a labor pain
we are here to give birth to ourselves."

Learn to accept our own errors and the errors of others.

UNDECIDED

                                            Next year will be the time to decide to paint our house.
                                               Our neighbor is complaining of the view.

Talked to Rick on the phone.  He seems in good spirits, well he laughed at our jokes so that is a good sign.  He is waiting to hear back from Inuvik or Campbell River and another place on the island.  A lot of questions and he seems well qualified.  He is called a First Nations -coordinator I believe

Good news that Hamlet is going to be starting Dec. 2nd in Vanchura.  I guess I will learn how to spell it.

No we did not go to church.  I am undecided.  A United church or a Community Church?

I am looking forward to meeting new friends.

Dad has a very runny nose and we hope he is better to-morrow.

Nothing planned.

IMPERFECTIONS

Cold and dark and quiet.

Waiting for the light to dawn.

My mom and dad were both perfectionists.  Mom did everything in order to please dad.  I was little afraid of him so also did my best to be tidy and do my homework and be on time.  The trouble was that as a child I often lost what time it was.  I would be punished if I was late.  I know now great worry that fills the heart with dread when people are late.

I am now at the stage of my life where imperfection makes life real.

I have  given up on writing a perfect blog.  It just ain't going to happen.

So these are reasons I appreciate "The spirituality of Imperfection' as related in  the continuing Bible story of a spirituality that speaks to  the inevitability of pain but also the possibility of healing in our

broken and messed up lives. 

Nothing that is out side of me has the power to help me over come this.  It must come from within me.

Religion claims the power to save us from sin but it does not.  It can lead to denial or to guilt.  It means following the rules perfectly with a pure heart that is forgiving and loving.  No human can do this because humans are flawed.

Jesus frees us from the guilt and shame that can prevent us feeling the love and Mercy of God.

"The spirituality of Imperfection speaks to both the inevitability of pain and the possibility of healing within the pain."Kathern Ketcham

"This spirituality speaks to those who seek meaning in the absurd
peace within chaos
light within the darkness.
joy in the midst of suffering."

Going to church being religious does not appeal to a lot of people
but when we awake to the reality of a spiritual power greater than us
and will help us when we call out.

Today dad and I again shopped and prepare and cooked supper.  We did  a pretty good job.
We did not follow the recipe exactly but it turn out fine.

HARMONIE

Frost on the ground this morning.

Again we did not do what we planned to do.  There is a half finished job with a pile of leaves to be put in bags.  Dad fixed both our sinks.  Mine had a little lid stuck down and slowing down the water.

Spenser follows him up and down stairs as he goes out to the garage hoping to go for a ride.

After we got home from lunch out with Carol and Panteli and Hamlet dad needed to connect his new i-pad that he just bought so that the phone would work on the car radio.  Spenser went and sat in the eat beside him as he got that working.

I got some letters mail on a second walk with Spenser.

I am thankful we got a few things done and the rest can wait for to-morrow. 

Accept things as they are and live in the now hopefully will bring Harmonie in our everyday life.

Reminding myself not to stress or worry about what I cannot change.

FORGETFUL

Yes we are getting more forgetful.

We forgot to phone our eye doctors back to return their call.  Sandra reminded us today and now I am reporting.  Dad has to phone back on Monday to get his appointment.  The Surrey office only works on Mondays.  There is another office in Vancouver.

I am on a list for eye surgery but it will be several months, actually 4 months.  They want me to come back in to discuss with the doctor whether to be short sighted or long sighted.  Then another visit to do visual fields.  This will be five visits before surgery.  A drive to Surrey Memorial and pay parking,

Dad planned to go for a bike ride and I was going to go visiting but we both were too tired.

We have been watching to Impeachment trial.  We wake up early and try to watch until the end of the day.  We like to boo the bad guys and applaud the good guys.  

I was really annoyed at the man who could not remember anything because he does not take notes.  What!!  I take notes all the time.  It sure helps me remember.

One thing is clear power does corrupt especially those who are unwilling to admit their faults.

If we cannot be honest with ourselves 

Discovering our weaknesses helps to make us more compassionate.

  

To-morrow we will finish raking up the leaves and dad plans to go for a bike ride.

WALKING

Walking with Spenser early in the morning.

Walked over to the dentist after having broke one of my teeth.

Thankful it was within walking distance.

It was turning out to be a lovely sunny day.

I ended up having four teeth fixed making it a long appointment

Dr. Patterson's daughter did the work and she did a great job.

I was worn out for the rest of the day.

Dad was at home taking the bathroom sink apart.

Not a fun day for him.

Each of us faces different problems daily and sometimes we have walked on the wrong path and had to turn around and start over.

The rain has refreshed the air

and the grass is very green.

The sky a deep blue and I remind myself to be thankful.

STRANGE

This is  strange tree that continiesto grow higher and higher and produces lots of leaves.\

Not only in our yard but in our neighbors yard,

I was very thankful that it was not raining this morning.  I was even more thankful that dad took on the big chore of blowing off the leaves from next door.  He does a great job and has them all in bags ready for the garbage on Thursday.  

Sunday we enjoyed visiting with old friends.  We arrived a little late but they were glad to see us.

We both had gotten involved in tasks and forgot to check the time.

We were luck we remembered to find the right gate into the complex after we had driven by the first time.

We will not be going to the Village Church as it is a little too lively for us now.  I will check for more churches on line.  I think we may go back to Grace Point where we went years ago.

The family is asking about Christmas and I want to be able to go to church Christmas Eve.

No Monday supper at Carol and Panteli's as she is away down East at a funeral.

"Discovering spirituality in a room full of drunks may seem strange, even Paradoxical,

l

But for me I am searching for a spirituality that includes all religious teachings but from a Christian point of view.  

"The spirituality of imperfection has always been characterized by the eccentric and the unexpected. and the unconventional.

I pray because it heps me to feel connected to ancient wisdom and spiritual energy.

A little strange?

INVESTIGATION

Look up to see how many more leaves to expect.

One or two.

I look out the door to investigate if it is raining.  It appears to have stopped as Spenser and I start our for our walk.  We have only gone a block when it starts again.  He comes home as a very wet puppie.  Time to give him a bath.  Dad and I knell by the bath tub and it goes okay.  The difficulty is getting him dry.  He is now dry and smells cleaner.

I have spent the rest of the morning investigating churches on line.

I want it to be close and one we can both feel at home.

This is not going to be easy peachy.

Today we have been invited to Maurice and Cliff's house for afternoon tea.  This will be enough for me for today.

We both get tired very quickly but we know it is good to get out and to talk with others, 

Uncertainty needs to be investigated.

ORDINARY

We have been getting up to early and then going to bed too early too.

Watching all the impeachment trails on T.V..

The people seem very ordinary even though they have important jobs.  The answers seem to be honest and sensible.  The motive of the questioners are very obvious.

Getting at the truth is not always easy.

We drove to White Rock to go to Milestones and Choices.  The traffic was awful.  The parking was stressful.  I do not like shopping it seems to give me a headache.

I am meeting new people every time I walk Spenser.

We have not given him a bath yet.  Maybe to-morrow.

Life is very ordinary but that suits me just fine right now.

I think the next book I read will be ;
 "Stand firm; Resist the Self-Improvement Craze"   by Svend Brinkmann.

PLEASANT

A pleasant evening celebrating Panteli's birthday.

We were at Mario's.

Everyone was in a good mood.

The day was a busy one for me.  Our Jet Lag Bible study ended by having lunch out at the White Spot.  There was good news as we have been invited to have our study at the home of an elderly friend who is now a widower.  He has a lovely big living room.  We picked out our next study book and a date to start in January.

I almost did not go as my friend who said she would pick me up forgot.  She is busy planning a holiday in Australia.  Her daughter has moved there but now is planning in the new year to move back.  

We are a pleasant talkative groupt but we do not always agree on things  That makes llife interesting.  Finding the right church will be a challenge.    I am so happy we will be keeping in touch.

"Who we are today was shaped by who and what we encountered in our yesterdays."  -M. E. Daniels

I would add that it is what we have learnt  about ourselves in this process.

Hamlet examines a mole on Haiti.

Always good to have a doctor in the house!

FAMILY

We are a family that loves to tell stories.  Sandra shows pictures of the huge tree that was blown down right outside their window in the cabin.  The noise of the wind and falling branches on the roof and te power outages was a night of panic and fear.

Family dinners are great!

First we go and spend time at the grave of dad's grandmothers.

How sad it was for her to lose her two sons because of the war.

Then her relationship with her other son broke down.

She loved her grandson Larry and kept all the newspaper clippings of his success as a hockey player.

Laughing childre rode up and down the paths.

                                                   A candle burns surround by little flags.

Don Cherry has been fired over his racist remarks about those who do not wear a poppy.

He has no regrets about what he said.

When I look at past hurts and disappointments I see that what it has made me do is what to a better learner.  I remember not being allowed sing in the school choir, when I loved to sing, and was sent to a room with boys who did not want to be in the choir.  I decided to study hard and improve my marks.

Learning was hard work for me and I would always have to study very hard.

Over this past year fraught with emotion I remembered  when I could not live with the pain as a young girl I turned to studying.  My goal had been university.

I do not regret how my life turned out with trying to 

learn how to be a mother to four active children.

Brokenness can be the first step to wholeness.

Healing takes time and courage.

I want to read the book Brene Brown has just written.about being vulnerable and rising stronger.

Thankful I have a family to help me learn.

REMEMBRANCE DAY

I think it is important to wear a poppy.  It is a sign of the importance of the day.  I am thankful to be living in a free country.  So sad to see all the mother's who lost children because of war.  We watch the service from Ottawa on T.V..  It would not have been a bad day to stand outside which we have done for many years.  It is more meaningful when you stand with a group of people to remember.
We will visit grannies grave before going to Carol and Panteli's for supper.

I had a good sleep last night and what a difference it makes.

I have a church in mind that we may attend next Sunday.  It is called the village church.  There is also Newton Bethany that we may visit.  It is good to visit other churches.

Sunday afternoon Sandra dropped by for a interesting visit.  Just what we needed.  We are so blessed to have carrying daughters.

After I phoned my brother Brian.  He really needs some one to talk to.  He is very worried about Traudl but thankful for a slight improvement.  He was expecting to have to have sinus surgery but it is not needed now so that is encouraging.  He did fall trying to walk fast and feels he raked a rib.  That is so very painful.  They are receiving some help which eases the burden Brian feels heavy on his shoulders.

I love the song that use to start the Mary Tyler show "YOU are going to make it after all."

I am happy being me!

I must remember to phone more often.

Dad took Spenser for his second walk as he was very unhappy I went to the store without him.

He is curled up roght now behind my chair.

SEARCHING

I would like to go to church but am undecided about where.

I do not want a gloom anddoom preacher.

I am hoping to find a happy healthy church

that can find purpose and meaning even in the bad and ugly.

                                   A tree might be losing all it's leaves but will bloom again.

I feel sad for Sandra that the little kitten she nursed back to health has now die in an accident.  Both her and Randy put a lot of care into the lives of these little ones.  They all have their own personalities and names.

  I am proud of them both.

Both Rick and Stephan are searching for work and that is not easy.  A slow process and a important decision.

There will always be a lot of questions  about life and death and also about doubt and faith.  We each do our own searching in our own way but it is important for me not to have doctrine forced on me even by good people who mean well.

There is never going to be a perfect church because imperfect people run it and attend it.

It is a time of change and sadness for me.  My faith and my church is very important for me. 

Dad is still sick with his cold so we will just rest today.  

"Not every story has a happy ending but you will never find happiness if you cling to what God is ending."  -Marshawn Evans Daniels.  

"Disruption and destiny go hand-in-hand.

Purpose, however is not suppose to be a mystery.

God desires that we attain Mastery."  

This does not mean we will ever find answers to all our questions but it is good to keep searching.

HEALTHY

                                                        Both of us are feeling better.
                                                      Spenser  and I walked to the park'
                                                      Actually it was dreary and rainy.
                                                       What a difference a day can make.

We decided to drive to the Sheraton Hotel for a quiet lunch.  The drive was fine, we got some gas that is cheaper now, but the parking there was a disaster.  Dad doe snot like underground parking but I do not think it would be as bad as the parking under ground at Dr. Nolte's.

The restaurant was busier and we got our same booth.  The waitresses are all so kind to us.

Driving home was frustrating as we went down 152nd and it is a special Indian celebration and lanes were blocked off.   It was good to get home.

Our health is very important and we are fortunate to be as healthy as we are.

I invite the healing power of peace to invade my soul and heart which helps to strengthen me.

A healthy  faith creates a healthier  you.

A healthy relationship sees the good in each other,

A healthy mind conquers fear and worry.

We are undecided about church to-morrow.

DISCOMFORT

Our neighbors across the street have put up their Christmas decorations.

I wonder how Donna is feeling about this as she was always the first.

It does seem a little early but they do add light to out dark nights.

Dad and were awe struck at the amazing sunset  that made the whole sky light up with bright colors.  We were driving in to enjoy supper with Kim and Hamlet as chefs.  Kim makes even carrots taste good and Hamlet is excellent at preparing salads.  Carol added shrimp and chicken.  To top it all off we had her delicious home made carrot cake.

We have been eating such healthy food lately we did not expect to catch colds.

Dad is very uncomfortable with a nose that runs continually.  He wanted to ride his bike today because we know the rain is coming.

I have been running to the bathroom and feeling more tired than usual

Both this are uncomfortable but we will be better soon.

A quiet day today.

I like to believe that spirituality adds comfort to religion that can be about rules and regulations.

Sorry to hear about Mary's cat.

The unexpected can happen at any time to any of us.  Life happens and we can choose how to respond.

We go along in our comfortable life style and it is easy to be happy and comfortable.

ATMOSPHERE

What a beautiful world.

Lovely to look at but a lot of work to clean up.

Dad and I have been raking leaves for two days

and he has been putting it in bags.

Yesterday  morning when I step out the patio it is full of leaves and one or two fall on my head.  We decide to take a break so dad drives me down to the Nursing Home in White Rock.

 I took Spenser in with me.  The staff are always happy to see us and even dull old eyes light up when they see little Spenser.  He even cheers up my friend Joan who is usually very depressed.  She has lost her glasses and thinks some one has stolen them.  They were found tucked away in a drawer where she probably hid them.

The atmosphere seems to brighten up as we laugh together.  

The funny thing is I found out she has been to see my eye doctor and was very annoyed at the two hour procedure.  It would be even harder for her.

We all try to look for the good when we have a bad day.

There is a story Anne Suberan tells of a man on a small desert island who spends his days collecting bits of wood to make a fire.  Accidentally the wrong pile burns and there is none left.  He is devastated. Nothing can get any worse he thinks.

The next day a small boat arrives because they have seen the smoke and think it must be a signal for help.  This story ends well but we do not always see results of  our difficult circumstances.

Growing older makes us aware of our limitations.

The best we can do is to take each day as it comes and be thankful for what we have.

I am responsible for my attitude and the atmosphere I create around me.

THE FOG

Driving into Tsawwassen into a dark cloud of fog.

This seems to be just like the fog we experienced when we first came here from the prairies.

We are reminded of the thick fog we disliked when we first moved here from the sunny prairies.

People wearing dark clothing are putting themselves at risk.

When we arrive at Carol and Pantel's we see white runners shoes walking towards their house.. Yes Ben was arriving before us.  He is off to L. A. I believe this week-end.

He is having another busy week-end playing soccer.

It is great to be waking up to more light in the morning.  We change our clocks back but then forget which ones we changed.  We ask our goggle to tell us the right time.  

It is fun visiting with everyone.  Hamlet is still here waiting for a date for his job as a doctor to begin.

Kim is working at a Beauty Parlour helping with book work etc.  We remember when she was taking classes to be a hair dresser.

Panteli is busy doing marking.  He is working part time.

Carol left early to attend a meeting about planning the Christmas party for the complex.  There will be lots of different ideas.

Theresa and Morgan joined Carol in town to see :Circus O Leigh."  A beautiful magical evening.

Earlier in the day we had arrived at the doctor's office to see a  room full of people.  Looks like it was going to be a waiting game.  We had been warned to expect two hours and it was more like a half an hour over that.  Yes I need the cataracts removed.  I did not know my sight was so poor until it was tested.

I started feel dizzy and nauseated so did not wait to make the appointment.  I was so glad to get home and have dad make us lunch.

I am doing less now and resting more.  Dad also is slowing down.  He did go for a bike ride after we got home before going out for supper.

When are brains start to fog up we need to make an effort to stay active mentally and physically.

TIME

                                        Time to hang out wi th grama and granpa The stew is in the pot an desert is baking in the oven.   Pineapple up0side cake my favorite.                                                             Another delicious supper/                                                      My computer is not working.

Time to get use to the time change which I do not like.

Time to get cataracks removed.  A little nervous.  First must walk Spenser.

BARE

Gone our the beautiful banners.

Created by loving hands.

Gone is the beautiful alter.

The same faithful ones gather to remember our dear Margaret who died last w

The funeral is at 2 and then supper at Sandra and Randy's at 4.

She was a woman of strong faith lived with determination and the desire to serve.  Week after week she would walk with her walking sticks out to the hall to help put on the coffee.  She sold tickets to the strawberry tea with a warm smile and kind eyes.

"Life shines a light on our imperfections and brings forth loving kindness and inner beauty."  Nepo

Our goal in our Bible Study and our U.C.W. meetings was to become women of service as well as faith.  We strengthened and encouraged each other.  Even with our imperfections we become strong and wise and resourceful.

We each one bring our energy to bring life and beauty just with our presence.

FUNNY

                                                         Funny is better than scary

.                                                                  Brrrrrrr  cold morning!
                                                                        Lovely sunrise!

Neighbors are taking down their decorations

and like us working in the garden.

It seems funny to be talking to people driving in their cars,

Theresa called on the way to work.  She keeps very busy and active.

Kenny also was on the way to work.

He had results from some tests.

He has diverticulitis's and I.B..

Diet seems to be the only answer.

We all seem to be getting these problems now that the years are adding up.

Funny how are emotions can also affect us.

We can be happy one minute and cranky the next.

That is me anyway.

It will seem funny to-morrow not heading off to church with the Colebrook gang.

Funny that my book about disappointment and depression can be humorous but it is.

A BLURR

Lots of children came to our door.

It was great fun having Ophelia and Astrid run to the door with us and give out candies.  I had expected them to come earlier and had just decided maybe Craig had forgotten when they all four arrived.  I was very happy and excited to see them all.

A little boy about 8 came to the door with a very scary mask on, and scared Astrid.  She burst out in tears but fortunately daddy was right there behind to pick her up in his loving arms.  The little boy was so cute he took off his mask  and said it was okay it was just him!

A lot of my pictures turned out blurry but at least I got a few.

Ophelia fixes her mom's hair.

     Astrid is very shy at first.  She plaed a bit with the toys and with our puupy and with this light.

Ophelia writes her name.

Grandpa walked over to get a pizza.

That was a good help.

Two great dad's!

It was the most fun we have ever had on Halloween.  The fireworks were just going off when they left.

A very cold and frosty  morning! 

                                           Spenser wonders how Daisy is doing?