WOW

WOW!

Isn't nature wonderful! !

WOW I sure impressed Dr. Nolte.  I have improved so much and I told him I felt very well.  He knows my determination and was very pleased.  He still wants me to continue with my tests especially the M.R.I. of the brain which he still sees as may be a problem.

WOW what a beautiful day it was, warm enough to finally sit outside. 
Dad was able to cement his pole in so that was good.  I am concerned about him because he has no appetite and is losing weight which may be a sign of old age like me!  His blood pressure is staying way down so I wonder if he needs the pills but he needs to check with the doctor.

Dad had a walk in the park on Monday and we walked a little ways around the pond.  His feet are still very painful but he likes to work on his projects once he gets an idea in his mind.

I feel very strongly that prayer has been a big part of my healing.  I am so thankful!

MYSTERY

I find the sky fascinating and mysterious. 
The sun is setting after a cloudy, rainy and sunny day.


"Mystery has great power " writes Nomi Remen, M.D. author of My Grandfather's Blessings.
The greatest power is the  blessing and inspiration that flows out of Mystery and gives us compassion and spiritual healing.

  I want  to be able to laugh at myself and hopefully always have a smile and a kind word.
I am so thankful for a nose that can smell and remind me that I put something on to cook and have forgotten all about it until I smell something!  It is so easy for me to burn things.

Dad was affirmed at our study group by others tell him how they see him.  He has blessed many with his stories and the caring and brave things he has done.  I am hoping and praying he will find some relief for the pain in his feet.

Yesterday I met one of my joggers who jogs by me each morning.  She tells me I am an inspiration to her and this blesses me and amazes me.  Her name is Carol and I have never spoken to her before but she was just coming out of her driveway and walked out to talk to me.  Imagine slow and unsteady me inspiring a healthy young person!

"Sometimes what causes us to slow down can also be a blessing."

"The heart has the power to transform experience."                                                                       

"Everyone and everything has a dimension of the unknown." 

"It means leaving room for the spirit allowing it to take us beyond disappointment.  It means there is a purpose even in our sickness.  The dimension of mystery allows for possibility to be present at all times"     All quotes by Nomi Remen

Off dad and I go to see my doctor for a follow up appointment today at 4:50.
I wish I could fast forward today.  Waiting for it to get light so I can go for a walk.

THE BIG QUESTIONS.

“Humanity is nourished by its connection with nature, those links providing spiritual sustenance too, because in contemplating them, human beings become sensible of the patterns and harmonies that run through all things.”  -Mark Vernon

Nature speaks and sparks new life into our very being.  Questions make for a lively discussion.

My walk was cold and slow and I think about the Sun Runners shedding their warm clothes as they run.  I am glad I went the one time it was a fun experience.  Dad and I would have loved to be at the finish line to see our happy little group.  Way to go girls and Ben too

Race times   Ben: 1.07,  Kim :1.07.  Leah:1.07, Theresa :1.14

I ended up with three sermons.  First I think Rick's comments could be a sermon, then I meet Joanne on my walk and she gave me her views on life and God and this would be a better world if we were all a bit more humble and compassionate and forgiving like Jesus,  and then at church the sermon was on "blessed are those who have not seen yet believe".

The interesting point the minister made was that Jesus appeared to many people after his resurrection but all where believers.  Why did he not appear to those who had put him to death or non-believers?  Certainly his appearances changed the lives of those cowardly disciples.

And certainly science and religion are ways of looking at the same truth and can appear to oppose but they can strengthen each other.  Both generate wonder.  But religion can not only touch the heart but bring new life to the soul.  Jesus taught that people were more important than rules and doctrine and he promised that his spirit would live in those who opened the door and allowed his spirit to breath upon them.

Dr. Nolte's office has called to have me come in for a visit.  I do not think there are any answers to my questions.  Dad's question is did I have a small stroke and my question is why I cannot walk far without loosing my balance?  I am trying my best to improve and am doing so but. . . . .

THE WEATHER

Early morning looks like the weather could be rainy or sunny.  Rain was forecast and when it gets sunny dad points out the weather man or girl was wrong again.  He loves to point this out.

It seems very cold today and working outside does not appeal to either of us.  What a difference a day makes not only in the weather but in how we are feeling.  Both of us   feel a bit down in the dumps.  Both of us have had a busy week and we have accomplished a lot so that is important.

Sunday we plan to go to church and afterwards we have our study group about " God".
 this time a very serious question.  Is there a right or wrong answer?
If you are a fundamentalist the answer is simple but the problem is this can produce the kind of Christians we also see on the T.V. and they turn people away from the simple truth.  They are uptight and self-righteous and know that they know all the right answers.

So we enter another discussion looking for light and truth which can change our heart
and give us insight not only into "God" but to our own humanity.

Our goal is not to have a blind faith but one that is reasonable.

If God does exists is it in a form beyond our comprehension?  Our world does exist within certain laws that have brought everything from planets and stars and intelligent life into being.

Our question is can we call "God" A Being?  Does our sense of purpose flow from our conceptions of this being.?  I like it when things are simple and take into account both the emotional and intellectual side of things and then have the courage to live by my beliefs.

Good fun with good friends!   Also Cathy and Glen dropped in last night so we had a good visit.

Prayers are helping!

EARLY

Up very early for my walk and am doing so much better.  I feel  awesome!

 

Dad and I spent most of our time talking to Vera as Howard was fast asleep.  She was so thankful for our visit.  We were glad we had made the effort to go and visit.  I am not feeling so frisky by now and neither is dad.

 

I was very, very thankful to come home to my nice clean house with the kitchen floor all shiny and bright.  We had not expected Leah to come but it turned out perfectly.  Hope we can help her get her wood cut.  Dad was not at his best yesterday as his feet were sore and he was tired.

 

I was also thankful to come home and soak in my bath tub.  What a luxury!

 

This is the garbage can I bumped into and this is the tree branches that hang down over the sidewalk and catch me by surprise on my rainy morning on Thursday.

I plant some different flowers in my window boxes because they come up every year.  Maybe not a good idea?

Come home to find the cat on my car.  He sure makes himself at home.


Dad soaked his feet in the morning as they are very painful right now.  Too much walking around Costco and Home Depot and working in the yard.  He really needs some help or else needs to take a break.

We keep forgetting we cannot do what we use to do. 

We did go visit Howard and Vera and after dad enjoys

 hockey and I am reading.

"Religious faiths are inevitably systematized, refined and tried by the deployment of reason.  But their origin and source is not rational either.

Rather faith is born of an awareness.  Its wellspring is not logic but life!"
Mark Vernon from the book of Big Questions about God.

A BUMPY MORNING

It is raining. I pull my hat down low over my face and keep my eyes on the ground to make sure of the uneven sidewalk.

I bump into a over hanging cheery tree and just miss the garbage can sitting out to be collected;  but I beat my time back home by 5 minutes.
 

  Yes, I will be joining the joggers soon.

Wed. Ava came over with Yuri.  We have known Ava since she was 2 and Yuri since he was 2 days old!  He is so cute and asks lots of questions and is good at amusing himself.

Thursday is soon here again.  Poor Jim has a bad toothache now and I offer our help but he refuses.  No money, no transportation and how will he get to the dentist?  The girl I know best is not there and he does not want me saying anything. 

 

There is a group of them sitting in a area meant for talking and I am now informed that two of them are going to be the waker uppers ; if any of them are caught sleeping there.  This has been agreed upon at their last meeting.  A good idea if people are tired they should go and lie down.

 

One of the younger men has a truck and lives there for a while and then takes off to Mexico for a holiday.  He asked me if I would like to go with him.  Wouldn't he be surprised if I said yes!

 

I am mixed up in my days because I couldn't put the pictures on the right day as I had not down loaded them.  Slowly we are getting back to normal.  Dad's feet were complaining    and hurting so he had a quiet day although we did go to Home Depot in the morning.  It rained most of the day with the odd spot of sunshine so not good for working outside.

 

I feel we should visit Howard to-morrow and then go out and eat.  It is a very dreary place full of sad looking people so it is depressing.  I know Howard responds to our visits and Vera needs a break but it depends on how dad is feeling.

 

"The value of life lies not in the length of them, but in the use we make of them."  M Montagne

LOWER THE BARS OF EXPECTATIONS,

My little garden is slowly coming to life, better than I even expected!

I think that one can be happier as they get older if they lower the bars of their expectations of themselves and others.

Yes, I am an aging Grannie who can still annoy her children and even dad at times!

And yes both of us do some funny things at times and we both worry is the other is gone too long.
Dad was the one that started the car honking at Costco not me.

Wed. was a busy day as Ava and her little guy Yuri dropped by.  He is cute as a button and likes to play games with you, like popping out from behind a chair to say boo.

We missed our usual visit from Leah but the house is in good shape.  Things may change now if  will be caring for Howard some days.  She will do him a lot of good.  This will free Vera up a bit from staying at the hospital all day every day.  She is exhausted and bored because she has always been so active.  I have great respect for those who become care givers!  Like Nancy-Lou.  That's You !

Revelation is the worst of the worst of nightmares but our hope is in the glorious new world which will have the light of God's presence visible to all.  There will be abounding joy, hope and delight.
It is the promise at the end of the Rainbow once again!

I was cranky when I got home and had a head ache because I had had no lunch.  I should have taken something along with me.  I am a slow learner. 

Today I will visit  Jim and have a good lunch before I go.

With Jim I certainly have to lower the bars of my expectations.  I never know how grumpy he will be.
He will be grumpy but I just do not know how grumpy.

EASTER SURPRIZES

As soon as I hear the letter drop through our mail slot I knew it was the card from Ken’s family.

I look over dad’s shoulder as we read the card together.
And pictures too
My favorite dinosaurs and a happy book mark too.

Thank you all!  We sure love you too.

We wish we could have been at your Easter egg gathering. 

Morgan and Ben got plenty of eggs so everyone was happy.

Easter sure is a fun time of year.

THE SOURCE

If only we all knew just how loved we really are!

It is wonderful to have the big group of us together but I often wished I had spent talking more one on one and I often hear a little bit here or a little bit there.  But we are a great noisy happy bunch.

Over the years it has been wonderful and exciting as new little ones have been added to our family.  I enjoyed watching Sandra bonding with Simone and Lincoln too as they talk and look at each other over Skype.

Yesterday day and I headed for Sunbury Lumber  but got all mixed up again on the choices before you come to River Road.  It turned out a nice day for a drive and we ended up at Costco where we always spend too much money.  I got some summer running shoes that were a good deal and dad loaded up with cereal.  I wanted to buy three geraniums not six so did not buy any at all.  I want to do my window box soon.
 
Dad has been too digging holes for posts to go for a walk but this is the place we went last week.
Called Mud Bay I think.  I love walking by the water although the wind can be chilly on a cool day.


First we past through the fields of grass and wild bushes until we come to the ocean.  Just one of the sources that flow into the might ocean.

Wisdom is finding the source of our strength
when we are losing much of what our strength has allowed us to do and be.

 If love is the source we can never lose that unless we harden our hearts and shut others out.

Today I have Jet Lag Bible study and of course could not find my study book which was hidden under some stuff of dad's.  A old pair of gloves actually that I got tired of looking at and decided to move and there was my book.

Love is the source, that is alive, the energy that transforms our lives and renews us when we are sad and weary.  Religion can view this in all different ways and in the stories of faith that has become apart of their life's journey.

Values that belong to the whole human race.

For me the joy of knowing I am not alone and that miracles still happen.  The joy I want to be able to continue to share.

The tide is away out and we can barely see all the birds sitting out there

THE PAST

The past effects and leaves it’s marks on all our lives.

Moments of sharing and caring.  Morgan does the honors and takes some pictures for me.  Ben was a good sport and gave a monologue on his play that I had missed going to.  I even picked out the bad person in this mystery play, which was full of many different characters, and each had to admit where they were at the time of the crime.  So to solve the mystery the past had to be brought to life.  Secrets were brought to life and anger and resentment exposed.

For Christians Easter is not just one day but an accumulation of past events that also stirred up anger against this innocent man.  Lent is the time before Easter where we read and immerse ourselves in the story.  The last week involves services called Ash Wed. a time of sorrow for the sins of the world and our own sinfulness.  Next comes Maude Thursday which we remember that Jesus washed the feet of his disciples to show humility and service, Good Friday the agony of death is like the suffering we all will face which ends in death.  What lays ahead for his disciples?  What lies ahead for each one of us.
They would become strong men of courage and faith each with a destiny of their own.

"I was dead and look--I am alive forever and ever," says the glorified Jesus in Revelation.

"God is not to be confined-especially not to action or events in the past."  -The Hidden Jesus

He cannot be confined by time or space!

For dad and I Thursdays was a difficult and frustrating day.  I was treated like a senile person and asked questions that involved knowing certain simple articles, remember three words at the end of the interview and spelling backwards when I have trouble spelling correctly.  Yes, I am glad I have passed these tests and even though our questions were not answered this deeply  buried fear was.

Dad worked very hard all day but I mainly rested except for a visit with Gundy.  The Mormons are very nice and she was feeling neglected so she went to church with them.  It is Easter so being a Catholic she thought she should go to church, she made one Catholic friend but she has broken her leg and that's all I know.
I will make an effort to visit her every second week like I was doing.  Yes, the last time I had visited I suggested she come and visit me but . . . .

BETTER PICTURE

SECOND CHANGES

The Easter story reveals the God of Second changes.  I know that I can get my mind fixed on certain things and forget what I should have remembered.  Or as Kim would say "A time to Redo."



Taking one big picture of our gang at Easter seemed like a good idea but it is always hard to get everyone looking their best.

I had missed our paper girl Betty on Saturday with the card and a little extra in it so when I started out on Eastern morning I saw her on the way to our place so I rushed tome to get the card.  I was running so fast it was hard for the cane to keep up with me.  But I succeeded.
Coming home Gundy rushed out to see me asking why I had not visited her.  I had been busy with my silly appointments and when I had knocked she had not answered so I left a note I would come on Monday to catch up with our visits. 
The Mormons had taken her to church the week before and it was a long service and so confusing to her she fainted.  They took her to emergency where she checked out find.  They even x-rayed her brain as she was very confused.
It must have been a month since I saw her last and had not realized it.  She is a lonely soul and her family are busy and neglect her.  The last time I saw her I had told her I was not feeling good and was having some doctor appointments.  I think she had forgotten.  I will write down on my calendar  so I do not forget again.


Just a few more pictures.

Morgan took this of Randy when he took them over to the pond to take pictures.

HAPPY EASTER

What an exciting day for the children!  I remember the fun of hiding the eggs and the joy of seeing the children find them.
Jesus is alive!  How quickly that joy was shared by all those who had experienced His love and compassion.  Unbelievable !  Yes He had joined the land of the living as His words promised. 

"Remain in Me and I will remain in you"   -John 15

What the believers were given was a spiritual awakening and a secret that would fill their hearts with joy!

"Easter itself is about Life!  The feast of risen life, of new life, the feast of hope and triumph."
-Archbishop Michael Miller in the Van. Sun. 

Everything beautiful is caught up in this moment from the awesome rainbow, a majestic mountain, the beauty in each budding flower, the rising if the sun and the setting of the moon, the heavens full of stars and the endless flow of stream and ocean to the gift of a new born baby.  Our hearts are captured and filled with love and awe and wonder.

I am looking forward to joining our faith community and reliving this moment of pure joy from the past.  I am looking forward to being with our family knowing that there is a bond of love between us all. 

DEFEATED

What happened to those big strong fishermen who had felt so special being chosen to be “fishers of men”?  They had declared they would follow him anywhere but not to this shameful death. 
What had happened to their bold and courageous leader who healed and talked and had swept them into new possibilities and dreams of a new kingdom of freedom.  He had made them bold and invincible against rulers and authority.


We all have many bridges to cross and new battles to fight.  Jesus had tried to tell his disciples that he was going to die and leave them.  They appear to not listen.  They did not want to believe they would be left alone to carry on his mission.

All his talk about character and fighting battles for the homeless, the poor and the sick and demented had now put them in a place of losers and cowards.  Death had robbed them of their future and their faith.

What defines me or you, what shapes our lives, what supports us,
what transforms us to move on even when the times are dark and hopeless?
What do I or you do when our hopes and dreams have vanished into despair and emptiness?

The sun comes up and the birds sing but we are deaf and blind.  We are in the valley of the shadow of death.  These disciples feared for their own lives and self-pity crushed their spirits.  They should have been prepared after all the experiences they had shared and all the miracles they had seen.  Love never dies and lives on in each one of us!

Saturday was a quiet day for dad and I working in the yard.  Dad is excited about the changes he is making.  He has taken down part of the old rotting fence and I think it is going to transform our little back yard.  Our health problems are shoved aside for now.  Dad is enjoying the playoff hockey and I enjoyed some reading today as well as gardening.


 Life is full of uncertainties and unpleasantness that is often out of our control.  A sense of humor always helps as does prayer.

I think if my faith is vibrant and alive will sustains me and  shape my life! 

Jim is back at the Senior's home so dad and I will have a short visit and then a visit to see Howard.  Leah is going to be doing some nursing care for Howard and Loraine Vera's daughter is working out a schedule.  Yes, we will get a mild shake.

Easter is coming!  !  !

THE UNEXPECTED RAIN TRAFFIC AND CONFUSION

We could not imagine all the things that went wrong on Thursday.
First appointment the parking was free but there was no parking.  There were two buildings with the same address.  Which one?  Fortunately we choose the right one.

We enter the doctors office and two ladies are whisphering behind the counter and completely ignore us.  The doctor is puzzled by my symptons but will do some tests on the lungs and heart  and will see me with answers in July.

Dad had figured out a wonderful short cut to our next trip over to New West.  Well the word has gone out and we crawled along in the rain squeshed between big trucks but still thinking we had a change to get there in time.

We thought we were going to be early as the receptionist had said your appointment is for 2:45 be there by 3.  We were aiming for 2:45.  The sign said free parking but then said pay at the machine.  I think if you went into the stores your card would be validated.

Knowing we were running late and being very frustrated waiting for the elevator which did not come we decided to take the stairs only to find they came to a dead end which was locked.  Our fear was that we would now be locked in at the botton where we had come in.
Arrived late and appointment was rushed and unsatisfactory but I was able to answer memory questions so I am not senile yet.  The doctor was as young as my grandchildren and had only been in practice a few months.
He will do another M.R.I. on my head and neck and spine.  No one knows why I have a lack of balance.
Big traffic jam on the way home and as soon as you pick another lane that seems to be going faster it slows down and now you are in a slower lane.  A gig truck cuts in front on a turn from the bus lane and we were amazed where did he come ?  The driver in front of us swears at him and they almost collide.  Very glad to be home BUT both a little confused.

Dad thinks I am going downhill and I am thinking I am going up hill and maybe we have to realize I may never reach the top.  I have a very wonderful but confusing body.  Strong legs that fall easily? I imagine I am at the top of the hill and can do so much more than I really can do.

I cannot imagine a Good Friday and I am not in church!  There is always next year!

A shocking day of disbelief and darkness and fear.  Why it is called Good Friday I do not know.
The scoffers were there to watch the agony of his death while his faithful friends  fled.

His mother was there remembering the prophecy at his birth.  Yes the sword that pierced her heart was sharp and painful.
.
Hoping to see the sun today.

SMALL WORLD

His world has become fixing up the back yard and especially this fence.   He used to love to saw and build things.  Good dad has more energy although his feet still get painful.
Our world has also become appointments and tests etc.
I have been out of things at the church so it has not really felt like lent  or Easter.   Lent used to be a time of denial and repentance which I think is good if done with a healthy balance.  I use to give up something during Lent but now need to renew my faith.    It is also a time to give to those in need.

Sandra is happy and determined when she is gardening.
  I am like that with my walks.


Rain or shine.






Time to begin to walk by the sea with Jesus. 
Jesus healed people out of love and compassion but most important of all was that people hear his message that God was available to all for the sick and broken, the outcasts and the poor, the very young and the elderly, the uneducated and the educated. 

Time not only to hear the Word but put it into practice.

Exhausting day at the lung specialist and the neurologist.  We had time for quick lunch between appointments and got caught in traffic that dad thought was a short cut.  We were late.  I passed the questions about my mental ability which was a relief as I was feeling very tired by then. 

I have some lung tests and cardiogram and a M. O. I. on the brain and neck scheduled.

I am positive but realize that I will always feel overtired and maybe need to try and sleep better.

Right now I want to deepen my faith and spirituality and enjoy Easter.





Rain or shine us walkers walk!

ON TIME

I do ‘s not know how anyone gets to work on time.  Lots of traffic heading into Van. as we travel to White Rock.  A rainy misty day.

Dad and I arrived at the hospital in good time and then had to wait for me to drink a huge drink, not one of  Shandel’s  good tasting shakes.  Then waited for an hour and had a big glass of water, making me feel like a cow that needs milking. 
I felt better covered in a wonderful warm blanket and then it was time to glide into the tunnel.  The same man telling me to hold my breath and then let it go.  Then some an injection into my arm and back sliding into the tunnel.  I do not expect anything from these tests but I want a thorough investigation.

Here I am as we leave standing under the Volunteer’s sign.  Both dad and I put in about 7 years each volunteering there.   I had some amazing experiences visiting and praying for the residents there.  I saw the same people week after week at the long care ward and I made some good friends.

Back home where Leah arrived as we watched the funeral of Mr. Jim Flaherty so encouraging to here a Canadian politician spoke of so highly both by his co-workers and by his family.  Such a shame when he was just beginning a new life of retirement.


Leah did a great job of cleaning up all the dirt I had tracked in from outside and hid under the carpet.  Maybe butler’s can do a good job of telling all  and I think maybe some one who cleans up your messes can too.

Thankful for our frozen dinner and now dad is watching hockey.

Hope to go for a short walk in the morning before we head out to New Westminster.  My question I keep asking dad now is what time do we have to leave to be on time?  I keep forgetting his answer.  There is the time you have to be there and then the time you have to come ahead of time for.  I am writing this Wed. night and I will soon be going to bed. 

Now it is morning so good morning to you all!  Another early morning for me, can't sleep.
A walk then it is off to White Rock and then New Westminster.

STURDY

This is the sturdy self dad has made in the shade deck.  It can be put up or down because it is on hinges.  Very sturdy and useful.

He likes things sturdy.  When I try to open up the peanut butter jar in the morning it is like breaking into Fort Knox it is on sooo tight.  I am just the opposite.  He is lucky if I put the top back on.  I excel at loosing tops and if I save a bunch they never fit anything.

In our back yard we had a delightful visit from two very colorful robins enjoying a good bath while he little fisherman
keeps an eye out for them.


I am thankful I do not have to answer any questions when I go for a scan.
Just my name and do I know where I am.

So far I have always got that right.  I go at eight in the morning so that is good.

SMALL MIRACLES

 

 

My book, "Small Miracles" is beside my bed so I read it every night.  The book from Shandel and the book mark from Theresa and the little get well heart from Leah. 

 

Today started out as a very confusing day when I noticed we had a message on the phone.  It was so quiet we could not understand it and because it was someone we were concerned about we were very worried.  Still have not been able to reach her by cell phone, or home phone or e-mail.  Finally heard from her at 9 and will go visit her to-morrow.  She has a lot more troubles than me.

 

My small miracle did happen when the neurologist phone to say they can get me in on Thursday in the afternoon.  Quickly we had to phone and change the afternoon appointment with another specialist for the morning and that was because someone had just cancelled.

 

Wed. I have the C.T. Scan at Peace Arch Hospital.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

 

But today I have some new dirt and some new flowers to plant so that will be good fun.

 

Philosophers like mental challenges but still leave us with questions.  Atheists live by the values they have chosen.  I believe in a God of love whose love will be there when we need it. 

 

I see myself as an overcomer on a sacred journey that renews my strength daily. 

 

I pray I will not become a difficult burden to anyone.

 

Anyway woke up to a beautiful morning walked with all the young people going to school  laughing and talking and riding their skate boards.  Came home to hear the news about five stabbings in Calgary of young people and the horrible weather conditions down East.  Feel very fortunate to live here.  Dad is taking our friend Vera out for lunch and I will plant my Heather and enjoy the sunshine!