FRIENDS

Friends are such a good help to bring back the joy into your life. Jane and I had a good walk and visit. Life is full of its ups and downs for us all.

Poor baby Matthew is having a painful time so he and dad could sympathize. Dad's mouth seems worse again. He has an appointment at the cancer clinic for his other problem. It is today but he has no idea of the time. Neither do I. I suggested he phone yesterday but. . . . .

We have missed seeing Ben and Morgan as well as Theresa and Mikie. There was a picnic planned for yesterday but it was not warm enough so I think Kim and Carol got together at a restaraunt somewhere. Ben wanted us to come and grandpa bring his chess set.

Today is my visiting day so hope it works out with dad's trip to the Hospital. Usually having one car is no problem.

We have a few things more to take out for Junk Day and it is good when some one comes and picks up your junk.

Sandra just phoned she is very unhappy dad took down the rose bush. It was one of a kind. She is coming for the roots.

HOPEFULLY

KIM AND GRAMPA TRYING TO FIX UMBRELLA - FAILED!

GRAMA AT TURKEY HOUSE - NICE PLACE

I am feeling very sensitive and need to be appreciated for the kind person that I am. We aa have to learn with our own miserable mistales and do the best to correct things.

As we get older things become harder to do and we find we do not have the energy to cope with things. It takes an effort to be positive and look for the good and forget about the past mistakes.

I get worn down by worry and do my best to help others cope with pain and disappointment.

We are all so imperfect and it is so easy to blame others for feelings of unhappiness. We need to make an effort to see the good in others and try to be cheerful.

I am happy when others are happy and sad when they are sad.

I am happy we live in a family where religion and church can be disgust; and we can blame religions for all the ills of the world; but still believe in a "God" who has taught us through the words of Jesus how to live.

Many people have told me that I am an inspiration and I have been asked to share my faith in Bible study and in Church. I have a positive faith that is still searching for answers but for all the questions Jesus is the answer.

I believe he died on the cross because sacrifice is part of life and yet I do not like pictures of Jesus suffering because the main fact is he is risen and he lives with us all.
This was an act to affirm life and to energize people to rise above their
powerlessness and to reach out to others.

Yes the great mystery of the cross is that when we embrace our powerlessness we become powerful. Paul believed that the power of the gospel came from the faith in a risen Christ and the power of forgiveness that sets us free.

Jesus was expressing sorrow even as the pope expresses sorrow for some of the injustice and abuse his church has inflicted.

Jesus died with a sorrowful heart for all the injustice and cruelty he had seen and a broken heart because people rejected his message that could heal and transform those who were stuck in lives of unhappiness and failure.

I do not need to be reminded of my mistakes they haunt my mind and my dreams but I do need to be told that I am loveable just as I am. There are always lessons to be learnt as we work at relating to each other. I have decided to be hopeful.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

Dad had a good visit at the doctors. The ufidex may actually cause it to spread if you become allergic to it. So he is to stop it and put on this new cream. The doctor is very understanding and will take time to see him before his next appointment in May; the end of May.

Dad has gone out with Matt to try hitting golf balls. Carol dropped by and Sandra phoned and Kim is coming later.

I have done a little in the garden but feel tired out.

TIME

We are so grateful the skin cancer doctor has made time to see us this morning. Larry has had a long battle with this cancer on his lip which is now feeling even more painful with two small boils appearing. He needs to know how much and how often to use the Ufedex to stop the spread.

The news today is reporting new cases of the swine flu that has spread from Mexico as more and more people are travelling. Our doctors are important especially to diagnose and treat us.
Knowledge is power that can help us to calm our fear and anxiety.

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

Everyone wants to be healthy and also happy.

Right now I am extremely worried about dad and the cancer around his face. We have to see the doctor today so that we know what we are facing and the right treatment. I have never even had a cold sore on my lips so I cannot imagine how this feels.

Worry steals our happiness and our faith can be challenged. Prayer helps as we share our worries and find new strength for each day.

Happiness is knowing we are loved and we are surrounded by love!
Everyone lives with a certain amount of unhappiness and unfulfilled dreams just because we are human. We cause ourselves and others unhappiness; sometimes very unintentional.

Jesus said I will be your burdren bearer if you let me.
Jesus said my suffering makes me one of you
and my pain absorbs yours.
Happiness is knowing I am forgiven.

Every morning we wake up to face the reality of the day and look for the inner happiness to give us the joy of being alive!

Happiness is being thankful for improving health and thankful for all the help we are being given. Knowing we can also help others.

A HAPPY VISIT

We had a good visit with Rick and he was happy to see Leah and Chris.

PLANS ARE BEING MADE

Rick has arrived and will be off to U.B.C. but may go to the book sale at the church first. Randy and Sandra are coming to the sale at about 9 or 10.

Dad is not feeling well. The sore on his lips feels like boils so that is extremely miserable. He walked over to do his blood test and did not feel like going out tonight.

Rick is meeting Carol and Panteli; and Leah and Craig at a small place in New Westminster. He has had a very successful day today and seems very cheerful. He visited a old second hand book store on the way home from U. B. C.

We will be watching hockey and going to bed early. It looks like I will go to church alone. Chris may join us for lunch; he had "plans" so couldn't go out tonight. Too cold for an evenning walk tonight but I did go this morning.

MY DREAM TEAM

Carol and Sandra are coming to help me with my garden. I am so happy to be feeling so much better. I guess I should take a before and after picture.

I will go for a walk now before dad wakes up; nothing unusual about that.

Colebrook Church is having their big annual garage sale. I am getting books ready to donate.

Looking forward to a visit from Rick.

A friend at work suggested Goji Berries and Red Star Nutrional yeast so I got some for Sandra at Choices. Maybe I will try some. It will be a fun day today!

THANK YOU DINNER

FLY ME TO THE MOON

Just a thought I had if I ate the red berries I got Sandra from the health food store. Funny how old songs come to mind.

After our Bible study at Colebrook I helped put out a few things for the big garage sale; but really I will not be helping much. Mabye I will volnteer a few hours, on Friday or Sat.

I am trying to look through books etc. to see what we have to give. As far as clothes go they just want the very best for the boutique.
"Your work produced by faith
Your labour prompted by love
Your endurance inspired by hope
in our Lord Jesus Christ." Paul


Remembering old songs reminds me of how the past is always with us even when we are aware of it. A memory will pop out of no-where.

After my thank you dinner I will go visiting. At the dinner people were asked to say a few words about how visiting gave life meaning or telling a funny story. I just go blank. But we had a young fellow who was very talkative. We met a lady who lived in India and spent time with her god-mother in the slums but I believe went to Catholic school. She is taking her grand daughter there to show her a different side of life.

Evidently they have had real peoblems on Scott Road with people racing by honking. It is a bit early yet.

Dr. Nolte liked Matthew in his Canucks shirt. He was very busy so the visit was quick. I am really glad I have the appointment at the Women's Health Center because they are so through; unless that has changed.

A FULL DAY FOR ME

I cannotwait to see Melina and Kenny all dressed up for the wedding. I hope everyone has a fun time.

Rick, I do not know who is looking after
roxy or after Carol and Panteli's house but I will find out.

So I am off to see Dr. Nolte, I am glad he is back. I am happy to tall him that I am doing so much better and off all those strong pills.

I did the wrong chapter in our
Bible study so have had to redo it but I learnt twice as much.

Deserae has such a good attitude to life; accepting her mistakes and working hard at school hoping to be a teacher or a counselor. We had a good visit.

Tonight we are invited out to have a thank you dinner at the
Red Rose Restaurant dad will pay for his own. This is to thank me for visiting. I go as often as I can but it seems to be a challenge because I do not always feel like it or other plans come along. It would be hard for me to stop after so many years.

I will go for a short walk now while dad is still snoozing. His feet are improving and he seems a little, just a little, less anxious about his lip. He is putting the burning stuff on.

Good hockey game last night I was cheering for both teams!

I keep fimding Advil pills on the bathroom floor; whoops, I forgot to put the lid on tight again.

WEDDINGS

This one is in Melbourne. Good luck Ken and Melina shopping for a suit, a dress and shoes etc. It should be a fun time with your house overflowing so Matthew should have lots of attention. Just got a call from Sandra all a twiter thinging maybe it was Ken and Melina. lol

So Ken, who is getting married? And yes I did see Matthew with his black eye I just forgot.

Actually you were right Ken the mouse was not working Sat. morning and I got busy outside etc. Then I rewrote my little talk.

Today dad is off to see his family doctor. He is happy the pills seem to be helping his feet. Now he is on drugs and I am off. The skin cancer on his lip is such a stressful worry and maybe some one from the cancer clinic can see him because his appointment is not until next month and his skin doctor has gone on holidays. He should be looked at every week even for a moment to check if he is putting too much on or if he should increase it. Dad needs help making these decisions.

Deserea [Cathy's daughter] is dropping by this morning for a visit. We are important grandmother figures in their lives. They do not feel that close to their dad's parents who I think are very nice. But we get invited to all the little birthday parties; actually the children can chose who they want to invite. I hope dad's appointment is not too long so he gets home in time to visit with her.

I am leading the Bible study tomorrow and it is an effort to do this lesson. It is talking about "The Day of the Lord" which is judgment day and I am not big on these fear things. Actually the lesson is about Paul coming and telling them it is not coming yet. I have a lot of background reading that I want to go through.

I will always have some back pain like we all do but what a difference to not have the extreme pain and that it is helped by Advil or Tylenol. I may take an occasional Tylenol 3 if I over- due it. I am so glad I got off that major drug stuff to which you can become addicted.

Kim stopped by to drop off some paint stuff we left at Carol's and some of her art from school. She was on her way to see Sydney her friend who had a bad car accident, broke her neck but fortunately she will be able to walk again but she is going through a difficult time.

I did more cancer collecting yesterday. I was given a bigger map and did not realize it was a bigger area. I do not like doing it but most people are kind and friendly. One lady invited me back to come for a visit but I am not sure which one? ? One man said he would not have given to anyone else but since I had a friendly face he donated. One person said to call back and my neighbor at the house where the noisy boys lived said he will bring his donation over when he gets paid.

I sit and watch the hockey looking for this picture Sandra wants. We have too many pictures. I would still like a picture of each of the Aussie kids. Maybe Hobey when he graduates will have a picture.

I will wake up dad and try to get a short walk in this morning. I am looking forward to Sandra and Carol coming over to help me. Theresa has a busy weekend with her book club and Sat, Ben has a party to go to.

I am trying to eat more protein as I think that is partly why I am so tired.

CONGRATULATIONS

CORDYLINE

Congratulations to all our sun runners. I believe Michael John and Mary ean it in 1 hour 5 minutes, and I have not heard about Theresa or Kim and maybe they were not registered. Good job you guys.

There was a lot of noise over on Scott Road after the Conucks won, people waving signs and car honging. Congrats to the Canucks.

Yes, you would have all been very proud of your mom who gave her little talk at church. There were four of us and all quite different. I am able to speak clearly and it is from my heart; as they all were. I get so very nervous before I start. I came home with a lower back pain but took a few pills and it went away. That is a little miracle for me.

Dad is promising to go to the doctor today. The pills he is taking seem to be helping his legs. I told him a year ago he should try them. Now if we can get this lip cancer healed that will be a major miracle. Brian my brother phoned he also has skin cancer, kidney problems and slight high blood pressure. Traudl his wife has very high blood pressure. She still likes to do a little skiing but had a fall.

We went over to Tavis's and she looked lovely in a deep purple evenning dress. All the girls looked exceptionally pretty. All the families were there so a big crowd. We forgot our camera but at least remembered to go.

Sandra and Randy dropped by. "What is tHAT flower" she said SOUNDING LESS THAN THRILLED. They had been to Queen Elizabeth Park. Sandra and Carol are promising to come and help me with my garden next Friday so that is good. Carol has bought my car now.

Rick is coming down next Friday to go to U. B. C. to do research so that is good to have a visit.

I am waiting for dad to wake up so we can have some scrambled eggs together. Maybe I should go for a walk first.

There is something in each one of us that reaches out to that which is beyond us; the great mystery of God! To say yes to the Unknown God
that we can only try to imagine opens the door to faith.

A GREEN TREE

I attempted to climb up some rocks trying to get the cars on the freeway below. I will try again but a nice picture of a green tree. Don't you think?

GOOD TIMES

This is the hill I walk up with Janet. It seems steep to me

You can see a lot more if you enlarge the pictures. I tried to take Stephen and Shawna's favorite restaraunt but downloaded the wrong picture.

Dad and I had fun at the beach taking pictures, it was a dull day but people were sitting outside. We stopped at Choices at the way down and I got loaded up with some good things.

The doctor phoned dad back about his lip cancer but dad did not really tell him as much as he should although he did say it is getting worse. Pat H. brought some herbal stuff for his mouth and this should help. We have such amazing good friends most of whom are good people and I see the life of Christ in them. We are extremely grateful to be surrounded by such love and caring.

Carol phoned as Lia needed to be picked up at the airport and taken to the airport to fly to New York for a weddimg. Panteli was unavailable at the meeting and she was home without a car. Lia was very talkative and happy about her life so it was good to see her. Oliver has a job doing hard landscaping but he is happy to be working. It was late for us to go out and we did not get home until 10:30. I was totally over-tired [yes I know I do not have a teething baby] but I had had no rest and just couldn't settle down. I put on the i-pod and what a blessing. I can listen to music but not all that gloom and doom; on what'his name that dad listens to. Yes, it is Art Bell. Boy am I doppy today.

I am hoping my walk this morning will renew my energy. I have one little shingle let in my eye brow and boy it gets itchy. I will go over and meet Janet I am so fortunate to have her as a friend.

This is the Sun Run week-end and I thought I would like to go again but that is a laugh. I also thought we would do the Grouse Grine which is even funnier. We will be happy just to be a little healthy; well I am, according to Dr. Nolte, and dad is on his way. Pain seems to last forever when you are going through it.

I need some advice with my garden and I do not even live in Edmonton.
I would like to go and visit Stephen and Shawna but cannot leave dad.
I know that seems strange to you young people.

The funny thing is that for two days we have been taking our re cycle bin out and then back in but of course when the truck comes this morning it was in. The holiday messed us up.

DOWN TO EARTH

Plop here I am down to earth, boring and normal.

We are discussing what to do today. I "should" gp visiting but dad feels up to a trip on the sky train down to the Bay. First he must phone his cancer doctor. HE has now phoned but cannot get in any earlier. I think we should just go there.

Had a horrible dream of being chased by a man in black. I was cornered and I said okay kill me because I cannot kill you. Actually we joined forces to escape from this horroble place we were in. On the way a little child joined us. Woke up and could not get back to sleep felt chilled to the bone.
Sleep would not come. [Later today I was reading; "that which could kill is converted, transformed into that which can heal us] Which is what happened in my dream as this man in black came and took my hand.]

I fineshed my cancer collection, as a door to door volunteer. I met two nice neighbors amd went back three times to one house where the kids said come back. I did get $120. so I reached my goal. A lot of people are short of money I am sure. I had to make an effort and I had hoped dad would go with me.

Today I went for my walk, said a prayer for you all. My walk is so short it is hard to get you all in.

Spiritually I feel like I do now when I am walking and every one is passing me. Some days it is more of an effort to get up, to pray, to go for a walk.

Thankfully this is not often.

SPIRITUAL MOMENTS

Everyone has a story to tell and moments when the presence of Jesus feels very real. We often keep these moments secret but I feel priviledge to share some of mine with you.

I beieve in a God who has an amazing imagination and this is apart of my faith.

I like to believe that as an infant when I was baptized an angel came to me and whispered: " do you want to believe?" My spirit said yes and I have always believed.
Faith is a gift to be cherished and and received and rekindled by prayer and reading scripture and worshiping with others.


I have experienced many forms of worship, from conservative to some may call fanatic. For me that was a time of going deeper into my faith, receiving emotional inner healing. Life scars us all but God's love can cover over our scars if we ask him and if we receive prayer.

It was at this time I was baztized in the ocean at White Rock with a cast on my arm. It was a very moving experience.

Yes, most of the time we look like we have it all together as we worship by singing or listening to scripture or responding in prayer. I believe that there is an energy of love, the spirit of Jesus, that meets us in our worship. Receiving the sacrament is a simple act of eating bread and drinking wine but the mystery of Jesus pours into us to renew us and remind us that we are one with him and he lives within us. We are forgiven.

I have had to struggle with health problems and I remember when Jesus spoke to me and told me to go back to a certain doctor. I had decided I was sick and weary of going to doctors. I could not ignore this inner prompting and through this doctor I was diagnosed as celiac which means no wheat.
IBy this time I had had to quite teaching Sunday School because of my health.


I have had two dreams when Jesus appeared to me. Before flying to the Dominican republic I was terrified. My stomach was in knots until I had a dream and there I was in a small plane and Jesus was sitting right behind me. I like to think he was laughing and enjoying the ride. I still was a little fearful but I went on the trip.

I believe in the power of prayer and the power of scripture and this includes the gifts of the Holy Spirit, gifts like the gift of prophecy and the gift of hospitality etc.. The gift of prophecy is when a person prays for you they get a picture which they share with you. I was prayed for by some one I did not know who saw me pictured ar an old fashioned desk with an old fashioned ink well and pen having such fun writing. I was encouraged to write and share my writing.

Now, my faith is expressed daily in my writing. But I had started writing a journal years ago when my children became teen-agers. I would write out my prayers for them and try to stop worrying. My morning writing has been a great blessing to me.

I pray a lot and I still worry but I am so happy when prayer is answered. It is like your whole spirit responds with Yes.

I have been with people close to death and prayed quietly beside them. My breath joins in with their breathing and I am aware that there is a release of the soul to enter into peace that waits for us all. I have been aware of a presence and I have looked around but not seen anything. It is difficult to visit and be with people who are suffering but I see that as my way to give to others what God has given to me.

Spiritual moments can be times of tears or times of great joy and awe or simply a inner calm.

My faith started in my heart and I have had to learn to gain head knowledge. Belonging to small groups, studying together has opened my mind to knowledge that others have learnt and I need to allow this to also change me.

So for me conversion is a process but one that has powerful moments to encourage us in our searching for truth. I still need to ask God what are you trying to teach me every day?

I am not involved in church to any great extent as Larry and I deal with our health issues. I feel more grounded now and am aware of how much I need to keep close to Jesus. Being thankful helps me when I feel discouraged.

.

A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION.

I have been asked to share a little bit of my faith in four minutes at churchI remember living in Tssawasen and teaching Sunday School. I would walk putting the two smallest in the stroller with the two oldest beside me. It was about a 40 minute walk.

My question to my children is :Do any of you remember this?

It may have been several years when you where very small.

My energy levels and my battle for health made it so I could not continue.
I did not drive at the time being busy with four children and also coping with the different hours Larry worked as an Air Traffic Controller. I would faithfully get up with him the mornings he had to be at work at six. I would make his lunch and enjoy some quiet time before the children woke up.

But all I want to know if any of you remember us going to church?

My story about our dog Ban Bur who sometimes went into the airplane with dad until the fateful day I also went and we flew to Quilicome Beach.
Flying was a fearful experience for me. I was so afraid I could not even move. Anyway we landed and had a good day walking around and it was enjoyable. When we went to leave Beb Bur would not get into the plane. Dad had to chase and and carry him and forse him into the plane. I believe that he had felt my fear and now he was afraid.

Stories are fun and we remember what we remember.

TROUBLES

Some of our lively group!

I am having problems I cannot put the pictures on right and write below them. So I added these two and managed to write this

ABEAUTIFUL ENDING TO THE DAY

PANTELI TAKING A REST FROM KITCHEN DUTY. bEN PLAYING TRUCKS.

SOME OF OUR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS SHARING A MORGAN MOMMENT.

JUST FOR LAUGHS; I CAME IN THE KITCHEN AND THOUGHT DAD WAS DOING THE DISHES BUT REALLY HE IS CLEANING OUT THE PUMP FOR THE POND.

sOME EASTER PICTURES

UGLY

MORGAN WAITS IMPATIENTLY AT TABLE FOR OTHERS TO COME

ON WAY TO TSAWWASSEN -- BEAUTIFUL BLUE SKY FIGHTS ITS WAY OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND RAIN

Sometimes a picture taken makes us look ugly; like the picture of me looking like Phylis Diller. Now that was after I had been out in the wind at the tennis courst with Ben and Morgan; Carol and Panteli. Morgan calls Carol Panteli as well as Panteli.

We had a beautiful Easter dinner at their home with everyone contributing; even chocolate covered strawberries by Randy. Morgan wanted to know where Jesus was since it was his party. I will have to be better prepared to give a better answer. I said he had a lot of parties to go to. I was also told saying some one is a Christian is not a compliment; and I can see the point that this is not something that makes you better than others but for me Easter Day is celebrating the joy that faith in an act of violence producing victory over that violence. The cross reminds us that power destroys and controls us but God speaks in an act of humilty and surrender to identify with the weak and the needy.

We do not like looking at the ugly; especially our own pictures, but it is only by facing the ugly we see how great the need to change is. I cannot say yesterday was a joyful day for me, even though it was great to be with everyone. I made at least one thoughtless remark for which I was truly ashamed.

We all have done or said something that hurts the ones we love the most. The good and the ugly fight a war within us all and we need help to overcome and win our inner struggles. We will never be perfect but we can try to be more loving!

"Sin is it's own punishment, devouring you from within." The Shack.

lOTS OF lOVE AT EASTER

HE IS RISEN ! ! !

Happy Easter. It is such a joyful time. I have wonderful memories and I feel like a new person now with the joy of being with family to look forward to.

We all have to find our own happiness and to know you are loved is a gift and we have an amazing loving family. We know how to laugh together.
We are so happy that Kenny has such a loving family; Melina and Jessie and Mathew and all the relations. It is good that Chris and Leah will be with Susan and Keith and they are back in their home again, although the floors still need fixing. Rick has moved a little closer to us now at blind bay so hopefully we will see more of him. From the pictures he is taking at Isle of Man I would love to go there. Randy has surprised us by coming home early to join us so that is good. I think maybe he even saw Cameron's new girl friend. Shawna has her family which helps when Stephen is away. It is hard to get everyone together so we will miss Oliver and Tasha and Justice unless something changes.

Easter memories for me; the little believer that I was, waking up knowing that Jesus was alive. He was like the soldiers going off to war to fight for freedom but so many of them were dying. I remember the death of my grandmother; my mom's mom, because she had lived with us. I knew my mom was very very sad.

Easter was about painting eggs and if you were lucky getting some chocolate; or maybe a new dress. It was an exciting day because it made the impossible believe able. The songs at church where all about victory and love that lives on.

I am praying that dad will find some solution to his health problems. I will ask for more prayers for him. I think we are going to find some answers if we keep looking and trying and asking and seeking.

It is a rainy morning not that great for outdoor Easter hunting but I know Ben and Morgan will be hunting for Easter eggs. Matthew beat Jessie in finding the first egg and unwrapped it and ate it.

I have memories of Easter Sunrise services where a few of us gathered but there was such a feeling of warmth and great enthusiasm as we sung with the guitars and greeted the dawn joyfully.

Well, dad is up so I'd better see what we can do about breakfast and then off to Colebrook for church. Jane is reading scripture if she is well enough and Pat and John's grandson is going to be a donkey. Then it is home to make a vegetarian casserole for Kim.

I am looking forward to seeing everyone! !

THE FRIENDLY GHOST

WHOEVER LIVES IN ME STREAMS OF LIVING WATER WILL FLOW WITHIN THEM

ONLY FAITH CAN ROLL THE STONE OF DOUBT AWAY

We seem to have a ghost that moves things around; just small things like glasses or pens or purses or gloves or whatnots. This ghost has never been seen in action but things are moved everyday. Dad has a strange idea it's me but I have no member of moving things so it cannot be me. Can it? But most things that are in their right place stay there!

I just remembered that when I was growing up the Holy Spirit was called the Holy Ghost. I never have felt the Holy Ghost was scary more like a friendly friend. This Holy Ghost has rarely if ever been seen but he can be experienced. I say he because it takes away from the humanity of he or she.

"The Shack" has become a very popular book that encourages people to look beyong religous stereotypes that has been apart of our religious
conditioning. I find it easy to think of God as Father because we all need to be fathered. This is not a job description but an awareness of the masculine that differs from the feminine.

We enter into marriage or a committed relationship with ideas and expectations of our role and the role of the other person. We can feel angry and betrayed when our expectations are not a reality. I believe that it even causes a deep wound in our soul that causes us to feel sad and empty.

Did we ever really know each other? Does anyone understand how we feel and what causes us to feel sad. Our children once so close to us move away to become their own individuals. As we all grow older we look back on our own childhood and it is easy to see where love disappointed us but unless we can hear our parent's stories and understand some of the demands and stress that they were coping with; we will never discover the love that was always there.

Some head knowledge helps us figure out what is hidden deep within us.

I think or I truly believe out of the death of misunderstanding and prejudice and shame there comes a dawning of the holiness of life that can be resurrected to heal our soul of sickness and grief and redeem our lives so that new life blooms within us and before us.

I would have loved to have seen a vision of Jesus, the Son of God, coming to me and touching me and taking away all my pain. I know that I have been healed. That does not mean that working out in the garden too long does not cause my back to complain. As we grow older we experience more aches and pains in every part of our bodies. It is amazing how resting can help and I believe that spiritual resting also helps us.

This can be a form of prayer or meditation or being touched by the beauty of nature or reading a word of scripture that speaks to us.

"If Christ is in you then your spirit is life itself." Rom. 8:1-11

"So that Christ may live in your hearts through faith'. Eph. 3:14-21

"We are only earthenware jars that hold this treasure." 2 C0r. 4:6

"Glory be to Him whose power, working in us, can do more infinitely more than we can ask or imagine." Eph. 3:14

Easter Time is a time to celebrate the glory of new life rising from death!

JESUS IS ALIVE! JESUS IS ALIVE AND LIVES WITHIN!

Rick
P.S. Yes, the life of Jesus and his words and his examples are what we live by but it is his presence that gives us strength and courage. I do not think any of us really understand why he had to die [and of course many try to tell us he did not die] but without his death the words he spoke just speak to our head knowledge. Read the ressurection story again and see the miracle of a stone rolled away and angels appearing. Jesus comes back to breath the Holt Spirit into them. We need good examples but we need more than that

We need to know Jesus but the amazing truth is that He knows us and loves all that we are and all that we can be. His words are living!.

WAS IT FATE?

OVER ALL THE WORLD THE MOON IS SHINING ON OUR FAMILY

Was I wrong? I certainly upset dad and he was probably right.

The day had been going well I visited at the nursing home with an Easter Lily and some cards. I had dropped by Janes's to leave her some books to read while she gets over this miserable cold.

I had found out by chance that Dr. Nolte would be in the office from 6 till 8. I thought what a nice Easter gift to tell him I am off all those nasty pain pills and also get other two refills. One for the stomach medicine Pariet that is helping dad and the Actonel for the osteophorous that I tried to re-order but couldn't get at the drugstore. I also had a picture of Matthew because I've shown him Ben and Morgan and showed him our precious little Madeline; and how sad we are were going through losing her. So we have so much to be happy about. We had just get fun marching in with Sandra and Randy [his favorite patient] at Christmas to wish him Merry Christmas so I wanted to wish him Happy Easter. I had a card I could have left!

I "told " dad I am okay I can drive down but he kindly offered to drive and we had fish and chips on the way. Now I got there about 15 to 6 and the room was full so it looked like an hour wait. But I took a book along and was prepared to wait. At 15 to 7 a lady about 50 or so came in desparate for an appointment the nurse said Dr. Nolte was definitely not taking any patients. This lady had phoned in desperation and had been told to come for the evening clinic. . The nurse said no way Could she allow any more patients. The poor lady was close to tears and was begging just for a quick appointment.

I have been there and know what it is like to be in pain and desparate. She was waiting out in the hall. So I offered her my place in line. She was so grateful and the nurse was willing but not happy to stroke me off and put her on.

I felt bad for dad waiting, he had gone out to the car by now, waiting when he was not feeling so good. I think he would have done the same thing. I felt I had done what was right. I had no idea it would be so busy but Friday the offices are closed and probably Sat. and Monday. Anyway dad being a good sport got over it quickly and we got home in time to see the hockey gam

We all can be annoying at times so this was one of those times! [referring to me]

Dad did finished his door project and that was an amazing feat when your strength is not what it used to be. I am very proud of his good job.

Neither of us felt like going out so "late" at night. This is the time of the year for small sacrifices. What a small thing compared to what Jesus did He showed us that love can conguer the bad and the ugly. His death changed many lives and still does today.

The news we hear every day is unreal with people being shot or killed all around us. The world is in a mess but maybe if we could all do something in our little corner a little bit more love can seep into this world.

I am so very blessed to have such a loving husband I am sure God sent him to watch over me! I will try to listen to his advice more.

Life would be so much easier if we were easier to love but we have many "unloveable" moments!

I am also blessed to have such a good friend as Janet. I did the walk over to her side across no. 10. This would be my first long walk as i have been doing the two smaller walks twice a day when I can. The plan was for Larry to picked me up.

I call this my healing walk where we listen to each other and there is a special bond there. Jane is another one among many friends who bless my life.

Janet gave me the Actonel I needed and now the prescription is filled because I went over sure it was there somewhere. I can now return Janets.

Ben is feeling better so that is good news.

Dad is trying out things to put in his shoes. Well, you just have to keep trying! I cut the lawn and did some yard work and enjoyed my nice back ache that was so normal. Now I can put heat on it not cold frozen peas!

Maybe we will go down to Zellers or Chapters.

THE FOGGY FOGGY DEW

Anyone remember that song.?

I feel like I am in a spiritual fog which is like feeling lost. This is Holy Week; a painful week for Jesus; especially when he is deserted by his friends. Misunderstood and opposed because they could not accept he was leaving them. Every step on this final journey must have been agony knowing he was leaving all those who he loved so dearly. The love that he carried within him had given him authority over sickness and evil.

Nothing was stronger than this love he carried in his heart; which he had so freely given away. His strength was leaving him knowing his friends could not protect him or begin to understand all the pain he was facing.

Jesus came to remind us that the Father in Heaven touches each little heart with love before it enters this world. God knows us in the womb and it is His love that comes upon us in times of great sadness. The world is in a mess and we know we cannot control the economics nor the direction that may take us into despair.

Jesus died with a passionate love for all, saint or sinner and all he commands us to do is keep loving. A soul that is joined with the soul of Jesus feels all the pain of the world yet lives in hope.

I was so happy that Ken had seen my moon and we shared a moment of awe and wonder; more than my film could capture; but an awesome moment of wonder.

Now, back to life. Dad started to fix the fence but took down the gate and it is all rotting and is turning into a terrible job. His feet are very painful and so is his mouth. His mouth is worse because cancer wins so many battles. He is depressed and feeling very sore and his strength has gone. I am not too helpful because there is so little I can do to help.

"Keep going to the doctor I tell him again and again; you have to fight this battle because your children are fighting with you and want you to be free of pain and worry. He goes to Kay Kennedy today where he is looked after very graciously. It is so easy to want to just give up but we must not let him.

Your health is the most precious gift that gives us the courage to keep on keeping on. Many doors seem to be shut to us, and I remember wondering how we would ever get a house of our own.

I have tried to help others like Cathy etc. when they had no money for food. I have given money to others and to the church maybe I should have just buried it and had more to give now.

I know that struggle can make us stronger. I see the spirit of generosity living on in my family and that touches my heart.

We had a good visit with Carol and Panteli. Carol was extremely tired after a hard day couseling. Kim also dropped by with a miserable cold. I tired to find Ken's medicine but only found it after she left.

As usual I am writing from my heart which can be happy and sad at the same time. I so greatly appreciate those who take time to read my thoughts now and share with me their lives. I am so thankful Randy once again arrived safely.

Jesus, thank you, for giving your life, so that we would have new life in all our relationships. Jesus thank you for your life within us all!

MOM BUSY WATCHING HOCKEY GAME

A PICTURE OF US WATCHING GAME - MINUS TV

BEING SUCH AN AVID PHOTOGRAPHER SHE HAD TO RUN OUT TO TAKE THIS STARTLING PHOTO OF MOON

Beth really does love hockey - but she does get a little distracted at times!

OUR LITTLE ONES

It is so sad to be so far away from our little ones. Ben is having stomach aches and I am praying they will find out what the problem is. Please say a little pray for him.
Morgan is such a happy little girl and loves to talk.
Looking at the pictures Justice is sure growing and Matthew is adorable.
They bring us so much joy! We long to see Matthew and one day we will.
We hear a little news from Hobey, Brittany and Tyler on face book.

I am enjoying my walks in the evenning but I say good-morning to people and get some strang looks. I met our neighbors down the street for the first
time,

Today it is off to Bible Study at Colebrook. What a group. We have been meeting for years and we laugh a lot. Reading scripture helps bring Jesus alive I want so much to feel close to him.

It was a good hockey game last night but sad for the losing goalie who played so well.

I guess Randy is off to Edmonton today so pray for a safe journey. I used to be so worried every time our family drove back and forth. Now the biggest worry is those flying marathons to Melbourne. I am glad Rick is home but he did not take many pictures that I saw. Maybe he ran out of rabbits. If you want to know where he went you will have to ask him.

Our new family motto is "No Secrets"

Sorry I missed the photo opp with Randy building or was it painting the fence Sandra let me know next time he is back home working.

Dad's appointment was 2 hours at Kay Kennedys. They looked at my chart she said I could have had spine shingles. Dad goes back next Thrusday. His lip is very very sore again. He has to make it sore to get rid of the bad stuff.

We did not make it to the beach; we went to Choices and to Milestones. It hurts dad's lip to eat but he had a wonderful fruit drink.

AT LAST

I have had two nights free of the stabbing pain of the shingles ans am especially glad the pain in the ear has gone. My back pain has also gone so I am on the way to becoming a new person or more like my old self. I am still extremely tired and cranky but the sunny weather will be a blessing.
Dad is going to see Kay Kennedy fior his shoulder and leg pains. He walked around Ladner taking pictures and came home exhausted and his leg very sore.

Well, we are a great pair. I keep thinking there must be something to help dad's feet. Riding the bike is his best exercise and he now has a new bike jacket [he has to keep up to Pentali] Carol is not going up north because the salary was not correct but I believe they are still going to China.

We all struggle to be healthy and we all can be sick and tired of felling sick and tired; and dad and I can expect failing health; but we can still enjoy the beauty of life and our wonderful family.

It takes discipline to dwell on the positive thoughts and release the negative that always tries to come to our minds.

We will go down to the beach today because we are in White Rock so that will be healing. Being near the ocean always seems to give you energy and life seems to be so much more than we see as we look out across the water.

We have to think about Easter plans I hope everyone has ideas. With so many bad things in the news we need to celebrate the greatest event in the universe. Good triumphs over evil and will continue to do so.

A hug and a prayer to you all.

MY EVENNING STROLL

HAPPINESS AND HEALTH GO TOGETHER

Yes Ken, my walking makes me happy. Here are two pictures from last night. It was a beautiful night. There were others out walking, some with dogs, a boy and his dad playing baseball and a beautiful sun in the trees.

It was a quiet day for me but a busy day for dad cleaning out the garage and cutting lawn etc. Cathy stopped by on her moter-bike; she was enjoying a long ride.

Palm Sunday seems like such a happy day as we travell back to the entry into Jerusalum by Jesus. The crowd cheered with great excitment and expectation! Their lives would be changing and a new King would set them free from poverty and desparation.

Jesus did come to comfort the unhappy and disturb the comfortable. His whole being burned with passion as he entered the temple and saw greed and power and abuse. In anger he over turned the money changers table and clears the corruption from the temple. God's house was to be a place of prayer and healing where all our equal and all feel the love of the Father.

Jesus still disturbs our inner peace and satisfaction today and makes us look deep into our own souls as we journey with him on the road to the cross. "By sharing our most human traits" as we travel together and help one another along the road we feel less lonely, less afraid and vulnerable.

Today Sandra is dropping by and we may go see the new fence Randy is working on.

We will be off to the library but first it is my morning walk! Dad is happy if I have my phone and just go down Sunwood to Scott Road and back. For now that is the plan

WAITING FOR THERESA'S WONDERFUL COMMENTS

WHAT A WONDERFUL MOTHER WHO IS SO BUSY AND SO CREATIVE

SHE IS ABLE TO SMILE AFTER A NIGHT AT THE EMERGENCY WARD WITH BEN WITH A STOMACH ACHE.

She also likes to write and she is very good with words.

I was sorry to hear Ben is still having stomach aches. He is such a precious little guy; loves to play games, go to Beavers and do his hip pop. He is so smart learning to play chess. I still play snakes and ladders which he usually wins.

Mikie and Theresa you are doing well with all you do with the children.

We really enjoy being with them. It is wonderful to see children with good manners. Let us know how Ben is. Maybe we can come and help?

WORRY [continued from yesterday]

My friend came over to give us some tickets for an afternoon play. Very thoughtful but the lecture she gave me about going for walks that make dad worry made me very depressed. Walk around the block they say. I AM SORRY THAT DAD WORRIES BUT I HAVE A CELL PHONE AND I HAVE ALWAYS WALKED.

That was strange because I did not put the caoital letters on.; but maybe I did. If you love somebody you will worry about them. The play was a message from God to me. It was one lady who danced and told the story of her grandmother. A beautiful joyful dance that told a story that was both happy and sad. A story of faith set against the darkness of the Holocaust; Jewish and Christian stories, a struggle that even included rigid male domination.

Lilia Skala worked in a garment factory but she was born to dance. In moments of deep sadness shefelt that God had protected her and been with her. The doctor did not think she would live but she did. She would come to feel the power of God's presence within her as she faced difficulties. She had three dreams to become a saint, marry a handsome man and be a famous dancer. She did marry late in life and had a daughter but her husband tried to dominate her. He was unhappy in his work and when he retired he left for Autralia and she waved happily good-bye to him. She had the love of her daughter "no greater love than between a mother and a child."

She fineshed her life teaching disabled, even deaf children to dance and to feel the joy of dancing.
Dance therapy continues using the music chosen by her.

I would love to be able to dance or to sing but my joy is in my walking. It is sad to look in the mirror and see the ugly wrinkles but I am trying to stay active. I did some work in the front garden and it went better so I am thankful my energy is returning.

My bag of peas broke open in the bed last night and there were these cold little peas everywhere. It was pretty funny.

LOVE KEEPS US ALIVE

FASINATED BY A WORM

What a joy to drive up and see our little red haired Morgan waiting at the window for us. She comes running out to see us. Ben is inside playing a game with gramma Pentali and theresa is busy making lunch. After lunch we walk around the river and find new treasures in pine cones and pretty leaves. Ben takes a flying leap on his bike over a small step and down he goes bike and all.

I feel once again the thankfulness of answered prayers and God's protecting hand upon us all.
We have had our share of sadness and sickness but we have learned to come through with God's grace upon us and within us.

ARE YOU BEING SERVED?

I hope Sandra that you are keeping your word and drinking tea and watching the young ones work. Are you? Being a mother is a complex and demanding role. I totally believe that our children love to see us happy. Allowing them the joy of serving us is our gift of love to them.
Our bodies speak to us reminding us that our tiredness is a physical, emotional and spiritual need that is expressing it's self. It is important we learn to listen to what we are saying to our selves. Change comes slowly but if we allow it to shake us free from all our shadows we will find our true selves!

Serenity is deeper than joy and we find pleasure in the little things. If we have some one to share our lives with we are of all people most blessed. We learn from each other the lessons we need to show us the true state of our souls. It is hard at times to share your deepest feelings which can often be misunderstood. No matter how painful we have to learn to be open and honest. Leah expressed that well when she came to visit us.

Larry and I had a wonderful day with Theresa and Ben and Morgan. I know that today Carol and Pentali are enjoying the grandchildren for the week-end. Children grow up far too quickly and they move away far too soon; but this is all part of life.

I do not really wake up until I have had my morning walk. It gives me time to think and pray.

My thoughts often come in pictures. I see the whole world as this huge boat that has been built with such human effort. I see myself being put in a life boat with Jesus and I long to look around and see all my family and friends floating around near me. This is my prayer and my vision.

We have been given tickets to a play this afternoon at first I said no but Carolyn would not take no for an answer. I know we have to break the habits that have made us feel to sick to do things.
We now have to get new energy to become healthy again

WE NEED TO HAVE FUN IN OUR LIVES!

GRANDPA AND LEAH

WE WERE SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED TO HAVE A VISIT FROM LEAH

REST

Imagine that God is floating around on His cloud looking at the earth below.
Suddenly He calls for His angels "
bring the scroll of the Ten Commandments."

Ah ha just as I remembered there it is the commandment to take a day of rest.
Yet everywhere I look people are hurrying and scurrying about too tired to enjoy life.
Life can be exhausting for the young parents, for the stressed worker, the parents of teenagers, the ups and downs of marriage, the death of family or the loss of energy as we grow older.
They are bone tired and soul tired. They need to take time just to rest and relax.

When I look at the clouds it is like looking into the face of God. Last night the clouds were beautiful and full of colors, but at other times they seem to hang dark over us and they can move fast with great energy that creates stormy weather; and when they let go the rain comes to beat upon us.

As children the rain could be fun especially when it created puddles and flowing streams that we could float things upon. Gradually we find the joy of childhood leaving us and when it does it leaves an emptiness. We find that we are longing to be loved, longing to feel that joyous freedom, longing to know that we belong in this world to reach out to touch and lift others up when they feel lost and alone.

This is the soul within us that stirs up renewed energy and strength. We have come to the gate of brokenness, tired and empty, confused and haunted, angry and afraid as we find ourselves weeping in the garden of despair. We are too exhausted with the burdens we carry. The mind wants to figure out all the answers to questions that can never be answered and yet we keep asking. We become surrounded by the cloud of fog that shuts out the light and the beauty that have guided us on our way.

Depression comes to all of us at one time or another and we have to face this monster because it can be sent back to where it came from.

There is hope for the hopeless. "Deep within us runs a river of energy" It sings to us if we stop to listen and the Little child returns. We see life as beautiful and we appreciate the ordinary daily tasks that keep us going.

Underneath our smiles there may be sadness but faith lifts us up and sets us free.
We believe that God, that mysterious presence. cheers us on; as do our family and our friends.
We learn from others who have conquered and over come their disappointments.

HAPPINESS

We came home from our party at Sandra and Randy's where we enjoyed time with Mary and Michael John and a surprised visit from Cameron here from Edmonton with his dad moving furniture. Cameron has found a new love and it would be wonderful if this develops into a lasting relationship.

We arrived home and I had to ruch into the bathroom while dad got all the garbage sorted to be put out. Then we noticed the red light blicking. A thank you message from Jane, she does not sound well at all. Then the next message is from Matthew crying his wee heart out and dad and I had tears in our eyes.

We will miss so much with Matthew growing up so far from us all. We could hear Ken's voice in the background so we know he would soon receive what he was crying for.

We have cried many tears over all our children and grand children and the great ones too. As young parents we loved each child with all our hearts as we held them close to our hearts. We still love them more than words can say. We know that we cannot make them happy but they do so many things that bring happiness into our lives.

I am learning to live with my past mistakes as they become like the "friendly ghost" who comes to haunt me at times and the old sad memories come back; but now I shew it away. Now is now and to be spiritual is according to the Buddists is to live in the moment. Beneath all our fronts, the face we put on, all of us carry the sadness of loss and a sense of incompleteness.

Every day for me seems to take every ounce of energy I have. I know what exhaustion feels like and how hard it is to live with. Dad, is just feeling this now after having so much energy and wanting to be busy with new challenges; always willing to take risks.

My faith is like a magical awareness into this fantasy world of the enchanted forest where the light shines upon me and all my tears are wiped away by the presence of Jesus. Prayer opens the door and Jesus is there to greet me.

Imagination is a great gift that takes us from the cruelness of life into a place of beauty!

THE FROZEN PEAS

Well Ken, I did not take your advice and eat my frozen peas. I really do not think they would be too eatable they have been in and out of the freezer and top of my head more times than I can count. So; first thing this morning I sneaked down the dark stairs; deciding not to wake dad who seemed to be sleeping so peacefully, to get my package of well used frozen peas. I took my pills and put on the peas and tried to imagine myself at a warm beach. I am so thankful that they eventually work. I am trying to be positive but I must say my first thought was I just cannot take this any more. I did not pray but a little groan escaped my lips and woke up dad. I know this must take it's course but yesterday my faith was strong and I felt healed!

I have this wonderful vision of going to see Dr. Nolte and proudly boasting I am off the pain medicine! I do have three weeks to obtain this goal.

Should I be ashamed that I did not even think of praying?

I am reminded that Jesus did not expect us to soar through life as heavenly, spiritual beings that conquer all our faults; because we are all imperfect and very human beings. I prayed later thankful when the pain left.

I am very thankful that my "bucket list" is full and I enjoy life and hope to continue to learn some new lessons that come with these mature years.