PRESERVE

More and more I am completely baffled by my incompetance.

More and More I spell words wrong.

                                                             or forget what I was going to do.

Fortunately Carol and Panteli brough supper over for us on Sunday.  They arrived to find us in a panic thinking Spenser was lost.  Carol found him fast asleep by the far side of the bed.  Meanwhile dad when one way down the street and I another.  Only then we could relax and enjoy our supper together.

Today we did things right by phoning on Friday to have his shot all ready for us to pick up today.

To-morrow we have the appointment set up to see our family doctor for him to give dad the shot.  It is not easy to make appointments to go in because most appointments are just by the phone. The eye appointment comes later on the same day but that was made at the surgery.  Dad will be glad not to have to do all these eye drops.  

It was a miracle that the eye surgery was preserved  with the bad fall.

"Most of us live our lives between completely clueless and totally overwhelmed.'"

I completely agree with Ann C. Sullivan

First thing in the morning a fellow is coming to look at our over grown cherry tree.  It has grown very high and right over the neighbors fence and on to their roofs.

We have to preserve to find the right house painter.  Thankful for all the help we can get.

CANCELLED

I will cancel the other picture of dad.

I think this  is better.

So many celebrations and parties and plans and goals have been cancelled.

Dad wants to fly and see his best friend Larry in Toronto.  His mind and his memory is not working.

 It is a blessing when we can share memories even when we do not always remember them the same.

Dad's balance is not good.  He he willing to travel in a wheel chair?  We have both become unsteady.

For many reasons we long for the good old days.  It was no big deal if you have a fall because you just get up.  Now that our knees have become weaker it is hard to do.

We have to be patient with each other as our abilities have changed.  Now is the time to view our lives with new lenses.  We think the same as we used to do.  Oh sure I can do that but the reality is we cannot.  This causes emotional stress and anxiety.  We keep hoping we can do what we used to be able to do and the quality of our lives are restored.

To live well we need a purpose and that can mean changing our goals and expectations of ourselves and of others. 

Just keep moving the best we can.  Some days it is just the fact we have gotten up and out of bed.

Simply do your best!

THANK GOD IT IS SATURDAY.

Thankful for all the rain last night.

Thankful no appointments today.

                                                       Thankful for healing and less pain for dad.

Dad came to help me when I started cleaning up the garage.  Mice have decided to make their home there.  I hate mice.  Dad thinks they are cute.  Jane even has one or two in her room at the Senior's Home.  No one else is allowed to visit he in her room.

We really appreciate all our children and all they do to bring us happiness by keeping in touch.

Monday we will go and get dad's hormone shots at Surrey Hospital.  We pick it up and then take it to the doctor to have him give it.  Dad did not get through to make an appointment so we will phone on Monday morning.

Tuesday Sandra has arranged for a tree man to come.  Later in the day dad has an appointment with his eye doctor.

We missed the Strawberry Tea in the park.  We sure do miss all our old friends from church.

It is hard to join another church and make new friends.

Today we will just enjoy the day.

He is still sleeping.  I know he did not sleep well last night.  Hope tonight will be better for both of us.

ACCOMPLISH

Kim is taking a chance travelling to Vanchura to be with her husband Hamlet.

He has been tested for Covid-19 but even with keeping social distancing they will be closer.

We wish them all good health and happiness.

A good bye party for Kim

Carol treated us with take-out from Brown's.

We all picked out our favorite.

Take-out is safer.

We enjoyed being in our back yard as ripe cherries fell down on our heads.

Some with the help of the squirrels.

Time for fun

Randy and Sandra are dreaming of their own trips to see Mary and the family

and later to visit the new baby in Stephen's home and visit other family in Edmonton

The new baby is Remington.

Another active boy for Shawna to keep her enjoying life.

A proud gramma who feels very blessed to have had Kim in her life!

It is good to feel the love of your family.

Dad is still telling stories and making us laugh.

Even though he is struggling with the pain of his fall.

His shoulders are very painful and so is his back.

Sometimes we wish the struggle we are facing would go away

but the reality there are lessons to be learned and things to accomplish.

Remembering to use a cane will be a challenge!

We all know he can do it.

Ken and Melina joined us by phone.

All to soon it was time for Carol and Kim to leave.

It had to be quick as this was not the time for tears.

Dad and I are very proud of all the accomplishments are family have made in their lives.

Our journey's have all been different

as have been the lessons we have need to learn

to find the rainbow of contentment.

MEMORABLE

Dad was not a pretty sight

but I was very thankful to have him home.

He had a bed he could have stayed the night.

He needs more evaluation.

He had a C.A.T, scan and has no broken bones.

He needs to have a cane or a walker.

I was just falling asleep when he got a stomach ache.

He had to go back and forth to the bathroom.

We are both exhausted.

This will be a memorable day for many reasons.  The kindness of our neighbor Core and his wife,

The man who came to do the estimate phoned for the ambulance and kept me calm.

The ambulance drivers.

The support of Carol and Sandra as we sat on the front porch eating snacks Kim had prepaared.

The phone calls from Kim and Kenny.

Sometimes things go wrong but we will need  to find new skills to cope.

FALLING

Dad has been falling a lot especially since his eye surgery'

He had a fall right here.

He was showing the painter around,

The painter phoned for an  ambulance.

They have taken dad to the hospital.

He was bleeding on the top of his head and on the back.

He will get a good check-up.

He had been told he needs to take a cane.

/this falling is no joking matter.

Our neighbors came over and helped till help arrived.

I am resting.

STRAWBERRIES

Yes it is the day for the strawberry tea.

All Colebrook is invited.

This was always a beautiful advent when the church hall was fell of color

and alive with energy.  Old friends came back to join in.

Very foggy this morning.

Dad's eyes are improving.  We do hope this continues.  No one wants to lose their eyesight.

A happy day as we say good bye to kim.  We are happy for her and Hamlet.  We know they have an exciting life ahead.  It is also a sad day for us as we will miss her and we feel a little concerned about her going to the States where the Virus is still active.

I was thinking this morning about all the people we talk to.

Family and friends.

Neighbors.

The paper girl.

The clerks at the store.

Yes dad and I talk to each other but we also talk a lot to Spenser.

He does not hear very well but we do it anyway.

Yes I talk to God and it makes me feel content to share my worries with a Being that is far beyond my understanding and I feel a spiritual energy know that there is an unconditional Love surrounding me.

Prayer reminds me I am only human and I need lots of help daily.

QUESTIONS

This is our pond.

Is it the reason the water is leaking out front?

Where have the ducks gone?

The mother was caught crossing the road with her babies.

This was 64, a busy road.

When I was growing up I was taught not to ask questions but just do what you are told.  I may have said this ti our children.  You do not question your parents, your teachers, the police or doctors.  If you have doubts or fears do not express them.

Dad has always been  a questioner and I have not.  I am learning to question more.

Dr. Tam the eye doctor had us watch the surgery on a video and then also explained how she would look and how quick it would be.  We should have asked how long a wait before hand and how long after it?  She did ask if we had any questions?  We did not ask about the time before and after.

Dad heard the man next to him complain about the wait before when he had rushed and been stressed to get there on time.

Dad remembers talking when she started the procedure and she told him to be quiet.  He was given more medication.

He was wheeled out into the hall outside and lay there waiting.

Most of us feel time is important especially for Sandra taking time off work to be there.

I still have the book  I read years ago that questioned my religion, called "Inside out" by Larry Crabb.

It started me asking questions about the false hope of modern Christianity.

I am reading it again.  Prayers are not always answered and we can feel let down by what we have believed.

Dad is still sleeping.  I am awake but feel like I have not slept at all.  I felt I had to be sure he did not fall when he gets up to the bathroom. I was concerned if he took to long.  Had he fallen?

Now we just have to figure out when to take all his eye drops.  The new ones with the old ones with time between each one.

There will always be more to learn and see, more buried emotions to feel, and more truth to be revealed.  Doubt can be the beginning of faith!

EXPECTATIONS

Sometimes you do not know what you are getting into.

Sandra picked up dad at 10:30 and they are not home yet and it is 4 o'clock.  Dad has had the surgery but the pills Adivan has made him confused and he is falling over and wants to go home.  He is not happy with the added wait at the doctor's office.  He has had a donough and a pop and Sandra grabed a sandwich.  I think it was very poorly run procedure.

I will add more when they get home.

Dad is home now.  He is very unsteady on his feet and I have to tell him not to move anywhere.

He has eye drops that have to be put in hourly.  He was on a bed before, during and after the operation.

He was hungry and ate supper and we will be going to bed early.

We are both very grateful for Sandra's help.

FEAST

A happy dad on dad's day.

Happy to be sitting together outside.

Randy puzzling.

Pleased to have Morgan and Ben come with Theresa.

Morgan was a good help taking Spenser for a walk.

A lot of work by all the girls.

Dad's favorite meal.

A surprise desert!

Sandra tells the foster kittens they cannot come out.

 

The drive home Spenser sits on grandpa's lap.

Carol takes the task of driving very seriously.

All of a sudden it was time to leave.

I did not get a group picture.

We drive home along the Fraser River.

A day to remember.

Lots of fun and funny cards to share

EXAMPLE.

 Roses from our garden.

I am thinking about my dad today and the many things I learned by his example.

Appearance matters.

Put your best foot forward.

The history that is a part of how we are matters

He was a proud Englishman.

Work hard in all you do.

He worked on the C.N. as an office clerk.

He grew a big garden in our back yard.

He hated dandelions.

He made new discoveries about his ability to teach others

when he became a Scout Leader.

Express the music that is within you.

He played the piano by ear and sang loudly at church.

Faith was expressed by attending church.

Be creative.

We started painting pictures of castles and of mountains and streams

after he retired and it gave his life meaning.

He was in a wheel-chair at this time.

He suffered from Asthma all his life/

He loved to travel on airplanes.

He went back to England and also to Haiwai. 

He loved their music and their beautiful spirit.

Education is so important.

He encourage me to study so I could attend University.

Value the importance of family.

Love one another and forgive the words that have hurt.

He love calling out the letters and numbers for Bingo.

He love tricking us by finding money in our ears.

"Love is what keeps us going."

Teach others what you are learning.

He learned all about hiking and camping so he could take the Scouts out to enjoy nature and to learn skills from how to survive.

He was proud of my brother and me.

He was thrilled when Brian joined the Mounties.

He was very proud on my wedding day.

I loved my dad and enjoyed the visits I had with him as he grew older.

We touch each others lives in many ways and certainly by example.

Saturday we went to Art Naps and Spenser loved walking around and smelling new smells.

Good to come home and watched Trump for awhile.  What a show off!  What a story teller.

Then it was time for Heart beat!

I believe that telling some one you were a good example for them is high praise.

Thanks Rick for your phone call and card expressing that to dad.  Much appreciated.

CHANGES

                                           At the park across from Sandra and Randy's.
                                                        No new pictures getting down loaded.

Yes, we have to take it a day at a time.  Every day changes and even during the day there are changes.

Dad had a difficult day yesterday with pain in his back worse and also the pain in his feet.  It changed our plans for a day to walk around Art Naps with Spenser.  He really likes going in the car but with warmer weather that is unwise.

We were so thankful to hear good news from Mary.  The court decided he cannot have full custody and move away.  Thankful Mary has the children for this week.

Sandra has made changes in her plans to visit her children.  In July she will visit Mary and Simone and Sebastien.  She had this planned but travel restrictions changed those plans.  She and Randy will visit Edmonton to see their children and grand children.  The new baby will be born and named.

Shawan will be a busy mother with four active children.  I know my four kept me busy.

I am reading "Women and Children First".  The ship is taking on water and passengers are being loaded into life boats.  The mother of four small children has to decide to get into the boat with her three children as the oldest boy has disappeared in the rush of panicking people.  This book is part fiction and part fact.

It appears that the water that is leaking out on to the sidewalk is from the back pond.  We will miss having it on and the sound of the water flowing.

A cloudy and dull day changes from the bright sunny last few days.

"The power for creating a better future is contained in this present moment.
You create a good future by creating a good present."  -Echar Tolle

This is one reason I enjoy the stillness of the morning.

The rain changes my plan to water the garden.

I want to see the day with hopeful eyes and renewed strength.

Yes I will have a second cup of coffee after I clean up a mess I had spilling the beans.

I will read the next chapter.  Spenser will not like going out in the rain.

ASSIGNMENT

Sometimes the world seems up side down.

I have now been assigned the duty of making sure

dad takes his hormone shot.

His doctor phoned today and asked to speak to me after

he had explained to dad what he needed to do.

We both know dad does not like these shots one bit.

My assignment is to make sure he does this.

Maybe some one should be assigned to me!

Last week was exhausting with the long days at the eye clinic and then the worry about the pain in his chest.  I had been assigned the duty of getting him to the emergency.  What a relief to know that he was okay for now.

Next week he has his cataract surgery on Monday and he should get his shot in the next day or so.

I read the best way to feel happy is to make others happy.  

This cultivates a warm and caring and compassionate heart.

Happiness is spending time at the park with our church family to celebrate the old tradition of the strawberry tea.  We bring our own desert.

Happiness is spending time with family on Father's day.

Happiness is receiving a card in the mail with heart warming words.  

Thanks Rick.

"When we become aware that challenges are a part of the unfolding of our soul

and a part of life, part of the spiritual quest we approach them differently.

We become aware of an inner strength and courage that sees us through,"

Michael Beckwith

CALM

Thankful that dad is now home.

I am thankful that through all the stress of the day we felt calm.  

The nurse that had met us at the door of the emergency spoke calmly and compassionately telling me I could not go in and be with dad.  We had expected this.

Dad had faced his fears that come with pain and realized he needed to find out the answers of what was causing it.  All the tests at the hospital tell him his heart is okay for now but in the future be quicker to seek help.

We live in a world where there is much uncertainty and it is important to try and keep calm.

I was so thankful that as a family we were in touch with each other.

I was thankful that Carol did the driving to the hospital and home and then back again.

She was there when we needed her and she encouraged me to rest when she had to go home to take care of a problem that had arisen.  She came back with food that I needed.  We walked Spenser over to the park together.  The familiar path was calming.

Jesus spoke to his disciples the words all our hearts need to hear to not be afraid and to not let your heart be troubled.

No one knows the future it is out of our control in many ways.

Today is a new day for us all.

It helps to write down my feelings and to look forward to a day doing some gardening that I find calming.  

I am thankful the sun is shining and dad is home.

FUTURE

Dad and Spenser wait for me to catch on the walk around the park by Sandra's

We always feel very loved when we spend time with our family.

When we visit in their homes or by phone or by my blog.

We started out our day yesterday looking forward to spending time with Carol and Panteli and Kim.

We are thankful for the warm welcome and good food.  Food for our body and food for our soul.

First we had to visit the eye doctor to listen to what will take place when he has catarack surgery.

We left home at 2:30 to be ontime for a 3 o'clock surgery.  We arrived right on time.  Dad was allowed to go in and wait in the waiting room.  Spenser and I sat out in the car.  He watches out the windows to see when dad will come.

It was a long wait and it was after 4 before he got called in and came and invited me to listen too.

It would be a quick surgery but there are always things that may go wrong.  It is important to follow the instructions we have received.  The main thing is not to touch the eye after or it may become infected.  The place was empty by the time Dr. Tam came to talk to us.  One eye is done at a time and dad's eye lid on the other eye will have to be fixed before it can be done.

We enjoyed our supper and all to soon it was time to head home.

We had just turned onto the freeway when dad felt pain in his chest.  The pain got worse and he started to feel nauseated.  We  were both frightened.  Dad knew if it got worse he would have to go to the hospital.  He started to look for places to stop.  I would take over the driving.

As quickly as it came it left.  He believes it is his heart.  I believe a change of diet is import.  Less fat and smaller meals.  More salads and less fish and chips.

The future is in our hands as well as the doctor's hands that will do the surgery on his eye.

Prayer is very important as we face our future together.

I have faced my difficult times by putting my life in the hands of the One Being who is the source of all life and every breath we take.  We find courage and strength renewed daily and some times moment by moment.

SURPRISE

We surprised Sandra and Randy by arriving early.

We had walked over to the little park by their house.

Took some great pictures but cannot down load them again this morning.

We were surprised to see the cute little kittens here and there.

I surprised myself falling down on the step from the yard to the house.

Spenser barked a lot.  

Maybe we just won't take him.

Dad very very tired today.

Did not sleep well.

It happens to all of us.

Off to the eye clinic this afternoon.

It is hard to fix a problem when you do not know what the problem is.

It is frustration to see the problem of police brutality go unfix.

It breaks my heart to see another young man's life taken for no reason.

Today is a rainy day , everything lives everything speaks to met I will  keep on trying and believing and hoping and praying.

                              Off to walk Spenser.

                              Oh dear it is raining.

 What a surprise!

UNREAL

Everyone says the same thing

every day is the same

every day it seems unreal.

What can I do?

Today is Sunday so I read the Good Book not a trashy book.  It is just a little way to keep the day special.  I can go on line to watch a service of my choice but I find my mind wanders and I am not really getting into the message.

Good to have phone calls from Sandra and Carol and Rick.  

We are invited for supper to Sandra and Randy's today.

To-morrow we are invited to Carol and Panteli's. 

We love to dine out!

Words matter.  Inspiring words lift the heaviness from our spirit.

The four gospels were not the first documents written down.  All the genuine letters of Paul were written earlier.  They all are from the Jewish Tradition.  The writers have their own[ personalities and remember things differently,  The writers have each experienced the power that changed their lives.

This happens all the time in our family.

The sun is now out.

People are out working in their yards, and the world seems normal for a few moments.

One of the neighbors boy is a grade 12 graduate and his picture is out on their front lawn.

We all miss the things we have not been able to do.  One day it will all change for the better.

FREEDOM

The freedom to be imperfect!

Enjoy the freedom found in nature!

This is from Boundary Park.

To download my pictures from my camera I have to do a lot of trying different things but in the end  i do not know why it finally works. 

When we returned from Carol and Panteli's dad saw a white bird fall from the sky and land with a big thud.  A beautiful white bird that was meant to be free flying in the clouds above.  In the morning I created a shallow grave and covered it up with dirt and leaves.  It was sad.

"St. Paul wrote the words that our freedom brings responsibility to serve one another so that every life can find meaning and purpose.

Yesterday morning it was raining so hard Spenser and I did not do our early morning walk.  Instead I used my energy to clean and tidy up the house.  It cleared up a bit but it was a struggle to go for his walk.  Live and learn.

Last night we started watching Net Flicks and an inner voice told me it was not good for me.  I had a bad night with paralyzing dreams that made me afraid to close my eyes,  Live and learn.

We have been staying home and not going shopping or visiting.  We did this because we were told it would help us to be healthy and our children agreed.  We were lucky they bought us food and delivered it.  You could also order on line.  We could learn to that too.

We have watched the marches around the world as people joined in solidarity with the injustice and inhumanity that black and brown and poor people have faced.  We are realizing that this is a problem in Canada especially with the Natives.  We have turned a blind eye to this.

All lives matter.

Live  in the freedom you already have.  Jesus gave his life so that we could be set free.  There is another kingdom that gives all life meaning and purpose.  He invites us to join in the feast that feeds the soul.

HILARIOUS

A happy kim celebrates another birthday.

How many we are not sure

do you say 34 or this is the 35 year?

Nicole and Theresa make it a fun time.

Sandra and Randy drive us there and join in.

The table is loaded with great food

and enjoyed by all.

Kim struggles to cut her ice cream gluten free cake.

It is hilarious,

Hamlet joins us on skype!

a new shelf has been added to the patio.

A very busy day for Carol and Sandra and Randy and ourselves.

We drive to White Rock to visit dad's eye doctor who will be doing catarack surgery in the near future.  Covid 19 rules are in effect.  Only one person can go in at a time.  I wait in the car with Spenser.  He is finished in quick time.  Usually even a small procedure drags on especially when you are waiting.

We stop at Art Naps to pick up Kim's present.  Just a small gift of more spices for her garden and a happy apron.  She says it is just what she wanted.

A quick walk with Spenser before we leave for the party.  Happy to jump in the back seat of Sandra's car.  Spenser barking as we leave "why can't I go?"

I wear my new dress.

The duck is back in the middle of the street.  Randy drives carefully around it.

I try to down load my pictures when I get home but fail to do it.  I am much too tired to keep doing it.

It is good to celebrate, to enjoy good food, good company and hilarious laughter.

Good to see Nicole again.  

MESSAGE

The message of the prostesters and the message at the church service was that it was time for all people to be treated equally.  We all have the right to breath and to be treated justly.  We are seeing pictures that make violence real.  A cruel world where children do not learn to trust the police but to fear them.  The message is not new there have been many whose life has been taken from them by the cruelty of the ones who should be protecting them.  How can this be we ask ourselves?  We each have a part to play.  The message is clear it is a time for change. 

The message of Jesus disturbed the people in his home town and because of this he was rejected and driven out.  He was sent to release those who had been treated as slaves and captives and it was time they were set free.  His message is clear that we are here to serve one another with love and compassion.  

We waited for the doctor's phone call.  He was dad's skin doctor.  They have a good relationship and the call was helpful.  A new appointment was set for Aug. 13.

Health is a big problem as we age and old injuries start to give us pain.

We need the wisdom of medicine to help us know what the body is saying.

They may take time to diagnose exactly what is wrong.  

Our empty cupboard was giving us a message that we needed to do a big shopping.  This takes the two of us.  There was no waiting to get in but the security guard was writing done the number of people who were entering.  We all are aware of social distancing and the need of cleanliness.  Yes, we followed the arrows.

We have a car full of food but we go over to Brown's where it will be cooked for us.  We have to sign in for the purpose of tracing.  Plastic shields are in place to keep every one separate.

I remember what it was like when I fell off a fence as a child and I couldn't breath.  It is scary.

No one has the right to use violence to stop us breathing, to choke the live out of another,  was the message at the funeral service.

A good day to celebrate Kim's birthday together!

UNFINISHED

Yes we had a very humbling day.

Had great plans shopping and then to Carol and Panteli's for supper.

We got off to a good start driving to Art Naps

dad wanted to buy me something new

and we were looking for a birthday present and a few plants.

Dad was very happy picking out some beautiful things.  The only trouble was they were too short and too youthful.  We finally agreed when dad started not feeling too good.  We come home and I suggest we eat but he said he was not hungry.  When I returned from walking Spenser he was in bed.  Both eyes were hurting and he was too tired to drive to Tsawwassen.  I was disappointed because by then I was very hungry and looking for to having a good home cooked meal.

Dad fell asleep and slept for several hours.

The good think was we were awake and at home when Ken and Melina phoned.  They had been at the hospital with Jasmine getting blood tests and a referral to a specialist.  He will test her for celiac.  She cannot change her diet before she has a test.  They were told before they went only one of them would be allowed to be with her, because of the virus, but when they got their both could be with her.

We had a good long talk with them both.  Dad tells them we are fine which is a cheerful thing to say but not really the truth of our reality.  There are times when it is okay to share your weakness and your failing health issues.

I have often connected to others more when I share my weaknesses and problems.  I may a lost key or a worry about the insecurity of my day.  Try to put on a happy ever ending face can drain one of energy.  It is good to listen and understand that we share so much of the problems of daily life.

Today dad has a phone visit with his skin cancer doctor and we need to buy some food.

I wake up early but dad turns on the radio and goes back to sleep.

Another rainy morning.  Spenser does not like walking in the rain.

Dad and I are learning to rest more and not worry about unfinished tasks!

HIT AND MISS

Yes I am very hit and miss with writing my blog at a certain time each day.

It looks very dark out this morning.  The news again is full of voices of dispair and fear.  We still have to be very careful.  Social distancing continues.  All the neighbors were out to see the noisy truck that towed the young boy's car home yesterday.  All except me I was missed it because I was napping. Very sad.

I am reminded that gratitude helps us to remember that there is a light in the darkness and hope springs eternal.

I am up early cleaning off our back yard patio which is a mess from all the leaves and half ripened cherries.  Beautiful when it blossums and the the cherries are very tasty.  A squirel runs along the fence chattering at me the crows join in.

The Journey

"Above the mountains the geese turn into the light again.........

Sometimes everything has to be inscribed across the heavens

so you can find the one line already written inside you."  David Whyte.

It is important for me on my journey of faith to find words of inspiration and hope.  Simple words.

Scripture has words that speak to every heart in every time and space.  

There are also spiritual writers like Brene Brown and Henri Nouwen and Thomas Merton and many more who speak to our hearts and souls.

Today we need to shop for groceries but when we do it is pretty hit and miss as we always forget something.

My energy is pretty hit and miss and the morning is the best time for me!

Happy Monday!