BUSY

Dad and I both had a busy day on Wed.  Cathy came to visit us in the morning and said a little prayer for dad. God often shows us in loving friends who care about us. She is writing a paper for her course at the university.

Dad went for a bike ride and for a walk in the park.  His hip is gradually getting better.  So that is good.  No one likes to have pain.  I think one of the most important things in life is hope. 

I wrote to my distant cousin in Australia, which is something I have been putting off.  I know she likes getting letters.  Then I went to The Pantry for our group luncheon.  Lots of talk and laughter which was also good.  I feel very loved and accepted by this group.   I am so fortunate to have so many good friends especially when I think of both Rosanna and Gunty who seem to have very few if any.

Then after I did a bit of shopping and went to the bank and both of us were happy to be home.

As I am writing dad is in his big chair right up to the T.V. watching the hockey game.  The L. A. Kings, who he is cheering for,  have just scored.

To-morrow we will be driving into town to see the eye specialist.  I will try and have a quick walk before we go. 

I could publish this to-night but then it will be said I missed a day.

Dad and I are reading a series of books by Matt Beyon Rees.  The first one was "The Collaborator of Bethlehem",  I will take a book along to read while I wait at the eye doctors.  The next book is called "A Grave In Gaza."  Fortunately they are available at the library.  On my walk around today I went into Chapters and saw at least three excellent books.  Strange sometimes there is nothing I find interesting or else there are many.  I did not even make to the religious section.

 Yes, I did cave in and buy one.

Hope everyone enjoys their day.

THIS OLD HOUSE

Yes this is our poor old house now sitting deserted and falling apart inside and out.

Junk is piled on the once beautiful lawn and the special bricks removed along with the bushes that bloomed so full of colour all around.  This house had been built with love and with a special purpose for an extra long bedroom.  We had three beds in it a one time and they were double beds.

It was built too close to the edge of the cliff and threatened to actually fall off.  Others had put in extra concrete and we had the foundations built up, actually jacked up.  Dad and I felt a little guilty as we took a little look around, remembering all the family gatherings we had there. 

Kim and Oliver and Rick and Chris  had lived with us at different times.

Then there were the happy exciting times preparing for Ken to visit with his family from Australia or Sandra from Edmonton with lots of camping gear and lots of enthusiasm.   Leah came to help during the summer visits and I will always remember the cafe her and Theresa set up for us.  Then there were the walks down the path beside the house which Kim and Mary  loved to take.

Lots of craziness!

There were small conflicts that all families have to deal with and which are best forgotten. Some of our most difficult lessons in life are learned in our interaction with each other.  I had lots of hopes and dreams for each one.  Lots of emotions of joy and struggles.  I will always remember the sadness when family felt.  There was Oliver leaving for music school  with his car completely packed with his worldly goods that there was hardly any room for himself.

I really miss my family that live so far away from us now but think of them all with loving prayers.

 Today when people come to visit I don't try so hard with all the cooking and cleaning because it only stresses myself and others out.

I like people to come and just make themselves at home. 

Today I was over on my old street and sent for a walk with my friend who is recovering from heart surgery and we walked by many of the old homes all changing and old friends have moved or passed on.  It was good to walk and remember things together.  The day turned out sunny after a very rainy start and a desperate hunt for my rain pants.

Yes, last Saturday we had blue sky but summer is not here yet.

Life is a challenge at every step of the way for all of us I believe.

Remember   "You Got Me Babe!"

THE GOAL

It was a warm day.  It was Saturday.  Dad and I were in a hurry to get to the soccer matches in Alder grove.  Dad checked to see if I had the address.  Sure I replied.  A beautiful day for a drive but after driving a while we realized we had  the wrong address.  Fortunately we could phone Theresa on the cell.  We arrived and there was no parking so we squeezed in a non parking spot.

We walked a long way to the farthest field only to find the first game was over and we had to move to another place.

Morgan had to leave her sandy spot to help carry a chair for Grannie.

The game started soon after we got settled with our juice boxes and crackers and cheese.

I try hard to get a picture of Ben.  I think this is him.

It as in the second half that Ben got a beautiful goal.  They were very hot and tired after the second game.  Sandra wants to come to the next game.  She would have come with us but she thought it was in the afternoon.

Wow what an exciting game!  Ben is number 15.

Grannie and great grandpa were very tired out on the drive home and both had a nap.

Over the years we have so enjoyed watching our children and then their children in their various activities.  How amazing now to be watching our great grand children.  It must be one of the rewards of living so long.

Dad and I felt sad after the funeral although I know it is the celebration of a good man's life!  It is interesting all the things you learn about a person after they have gone. 

"Gone to be a part of the sacred tapestry in the sky!  - Daniel Bogert-O'Brien--  our minister.

I am so happy that I can write about the things that matter to me and share my thoughts with very dear and precious people; some I even brought into this world.
Each of our lives is a story waiting to be told and retold.

UNBELIEVEABLE

Our day began with watching the bike races, thw Giro d'Italia, and it was so exciting to see our Canadian boy win with a breath taking close ending. He is from Victoria.  Kenny always thought Oliver could be great at that too.  Even sent him a bike suit.

  At church we were all encouraged to wear red to celebraate the Holy Spirit coming at Penetcost.  This happened after the new believers had been waiting in prayer for weeks. One reason church is important to me is to have the input of some one that knows more about the over-all subject; some-one I would call an expert.  We all have been exposed to prejudices, preconceptions and blind spots about our own religion and the beliefs of others.  We all have our own searching to do to find the hidden secret of the life of Jesus that still lives on.  I have done and am still doing questioning, wondering, puzzling, struggling and reading.   

After church we were delighted to have a visit from Sandra and Randy.  They are always busy with some new project and now it is new windows.  Sandra was going to serenaide Randy all the way home with a musical guitar she took from our secret closet.  

Dad and I will have to make a trip over to see all they have accomplished and see if it looks as good in the real light of day.

This is the bag that hung on the door of the cloest and I saw it every day and liked to read the sayings on it.  This was the bag that held the pottery that had gone missing, and I had looked everywhere for it.  Just think it was right there all the time.  Unbelieveable!

It was an epiphanic moment so exciting because it was so unexpected.

I believe this was what happened at Pentecost.  All who gathered there were grieving the loss od their charismatic and inspirational leader.  Each day they walked with them was a day full of miracles as they saw many lives touched and healed and changed. 
They had watched and seen heard unbelieveable things.
I believe we live in a world full of enchantment if we too take time to listen and see.

This is one of those things that is not rocket science nor is it superstition but it is the glorious moments when we catch our breath and the mysterious draws close.  It just happens.  The path that we are on will leave us to these moments that takes us beyond certainty.

Mystery allows questions to be unanswered and if we exist in a world of just functioning the result is inevevitably disenchantment; when pure joy is calling to us in the wind and in the fire.

LOVE lives on in our hearts, in our minds, in our dreams and in our imagination.

It is the passion for life that gives all of life meaning!
It is in the air we breathe, the warmth we feel and the beauty we see.
It is in the hands we hold, the smiles we give and receive, the hugs and the laughter.
Every act of kindness!

LOVE penetrates deep into the heart just like cupid's arrow!

Dad and I will be going to a funeral of a dear friend today.

REVIVAL

Yes, in the good old days it was a cup of tea to revive the soul and bring comfort.  Some may like a stronger drink for me it is coffee or tea.  I was going to call this blog disappointment , changed my mind,  by calling it revival I realize what a difference a day can make.  I had an excellent long walk in the morning and so thankful for the shady trees on the last several blocks.  Encouraging words on my blog helps so much.   I have to learn to meet disappointments with faith in myself and hope in the future.  After all this is Pentecost Sunday and what an awesome event; tongues of fire on each head and every language filling the space.  God's fantasy was that all should hear and believe the good news!

Good people, even religious well meaning people complete make a mess of things.  I think of all the good, reassuring, calmimg presence some of the elderly in my family and in my church, that have passed on to me, leaving me a legacy of hope.   I think of the miracles that have happened in our lives and I know we have been very fortunate and blessed beyond our deepest desires.  There have been difficult times in the past where I could have handled things better but that is water under the bridge.

Would Moses have been disappointed if he had been able to enter the promised land?  Could this land ever have  lived up to his dreams?  We face many disappointments in life and hopefully compassion is the fruit that rewards us.  Even Moses was leading a generation, two generations younger than him, and they had different ideas, and he must have been worn out with their complaining.  I think that Moses was quite content to have gone as far as he did. 

Saturday morning we were off to Ben's soccer game and had great fun finding it until we found the right address.  It was a perfect day sitting in the shade chatting to Theresa and Robbie and Chuck, the other grand parents.  Ben plays so hard and we were so pleased when he got a goal.  The drive home seemed extra long and tiring but we sure enjoyed out time there,

Had a wee nap and visited my lonely neighbor who is so appreciative. 

The air in the evening was so inviting I did a bit of pulling weeds and cutting the grass. 

A very good day!

FANTASIES

  

                                Fantasies are a part of who we are and who we wish to become. 

Some dream of wealth and riches.
I feel rich because I know that I have more than enough.

Some dream of far away places and wild adventures.
I love my home and where I live.

Some dream of warm enchanted islands in the sun.  My dad loved Hawaii and always felt so good when they had two vacations there.
I feel happy in the sunshine and in the rain as long as I have my long underwear to keep me warm.

Some like a good argument.
Not me but it is so easy to be drawn into them and then I like to win!

Some would love to spend everyday gardening.
I love the flowers and greenness of the lawn and
 the sweet smell of phlox and lilacs and freshly cut grass.

Some like to travel high above in a plane soaring above the clouds into the blue sky above.
I loved to ride on the train and as as we flew by little farms and small towns I would try to pretend what it would be like to live there.  I loved having time to daydream and enjoy the different landscape as we travel from prairie to the mountains.  Even having a packed lunch was exciting!

Some are happy to be ignorant of other faiths and cultures and political ideas.
I would like to learn more.

"Wheresoever ye turn, there is the face of Allah."
This is the philosophy of Muid ad-Din ibn al-Arabia (1165-1240) and I believe that it is also the philosophy of Jesus expressed in many of his stories.  Especially the about who is your neighbor.
How tragic to read about the crusades, inquisitions and persecutions in His Name.

I was very disappointed in my gardening progress.  Dad helped with trimming and a little grass cutting but I look at the garden and it seems like unending hard work.  Discouraged seeing very little results.  I admitt I am no spring chicken because I feel more like an old hen instead!
Start trimming the end of the back today.

Dad is happier with his improvement and we hope it continues.

Sandra and Randy have done an awesome job.  What hard workers!

EVERYDAY

                                    An unusual color of flower caught on a rainy morning.

Spirituality lives in the lives of ordinary people like you and me in different ways.

For me the early morning quiet enjoyed with coffee and toast and prayer.
First the family then others on our prayer list.

Watching the street come alive with early morning dog walkers and cars taking off for another day of work.  Picking up the newspaper and having a quick look at the happenings of the day before.

Taking pictures as I enjoy my walk on Thursday morning I walk by myself and have time to ponder my life and the day ahead.

Taking time to sit by the front window and have a second cup of coffee with dad as we watch the bees flying in and out of the blossoms on our big tree.

Taking time to enjoy the peace of the moment.

"Moments of transcendence are to be in the here and now in the everyday and the ordinary."
Robert C. Sibley

"In his seemingly secular weekday existence the human being can experience that even his daily life is borne along and carried by (the mystery we call) God. 
Karl Rahner

Dad goes off in one direction to the library to do his reseach on his ancestors, then to have a walk in the forest and finally have his blood taken for the cancer clinic.

I go to the Seniors Home to spend time bringing some joy into the lives of the elderly.  Listening to their stories and laughing with them and sharing their concerns.  There is nothing I can say to cheer up Jim but I sit and try to make conversation for awhile.  As I leave he waves good-bye.

Treating everyone with dignity and respect as we carry on in our families,
or with our co-workers, or with our children, or with our friends.

The reformation was a time when the church and it's authority and dogmatic theology was challenged.  Today people do not look upon the priestly elite as having power over us.  Religion has often been forced upon many and in doing so has been guilty of stopping the wind of the spirit from moving freely.

 What then can  influence us in our search for truth? for the spiritual?  Are our everyday experiences enough to help us through times of tragedy and sorrow?

The words of scripture, the wisdom of philosophers, the lessons of history, writers of fact and fiction and even poets have the power to bring artistic value to the experience of the sacred that dwells not in the heavens above but in our hearts. 

Dad and I end the day at the White Spot and chat to our favorite waitress.  After it is home to chocolate and hockey for dad and a mystery book for me.

Excellent morning! The birds are singing and I intend to do some gardening!

WINDY

This is my new basket which was full of all my goodies.  I now use it to carry my books up and down stairs and in and out of bedrooms.  I am still enjoying tasting new treats!  I am always reading more than one book at a time.

Dad had another walk today and no hip pain.  Hurrah!

Another dear older person passed away.  So sad.  Dad and I visited him twice.  The second time I took his card I had sent to a very old address.  He had a good laugh at this.  Everyone will miss him.

Dad and I drove by our old house today on the way to get his some Crocks that we think may help his feet.  It looked so sad a real mess.  A reminder about not looking back.

I was reading the chapter on "How Little We Know"  today.  An encouragement to become sensitive to coming on too strong with our convictions so we cannot hear what others are saying.  Love and kindness should go together; as we realize how important another person is to us.  Love contains all the emotions of life;  that is a certainty.

When dad and I did go on walks together I always wanted to walk faster but now if we could walk together we would be going at the same speed.  It is hard for dad and I to see each other failing but still very thankful for so much.

Yesterday I thought it was our girls day out for lunch but I would have been a week early. The date was changed at the last minute but it had slipped my mind.  Fortunately I phoned to confirm the time. 

The spirit is like the wind that blows sometimes gently and sometimes fiercely to cleanse the earth and to allow new life to bloom.

IMPROVEMENT

                           Uri plays a game with dad at the birthday party, puts his hat on his head.

There was some improvement in dad's feet and hip so he was able to have a walk in the Water shed Park.  This lifted both are spirits.  He also picked up some groceries on the way home which I appreciated.

Their was a great improvement in the weather as the rain had finally stopped and  later in the afternoon the sun actually peaked out of hiding.  We decided to go to Zeller's for breakfast and then on to the library.  Dad reads magazines while I look for D.V.D's and books.  I also met an old friend from our last church and I am continually reminded of all the good friends we have made going to various churches.

Monday was a crazy day for me.  I knocked on Gundy's door and there was no answer so I thought since it was raining she did not feel like going.  I get about three blocks on and Gundy arrives by car.
She had not gotten dressed and ready thinking I would not go.  As she stood at the corner looking for me a neighbor picked her up and volunteer to drive her to where I was.

Even though it was raining I cut the lawn and did some weeding.  At least I did not water like our famous Uncle Bucky in Saskatoon used to do.  It was either do that or clean house and move furniture

I was excited about using the new pan to make my bread but to my horror after I put it in the oven, and waited for it to rise, which it did not, I realized that I forgot to put the yeast in.

I was determined to finish reading my book but dozed off instead.

I am sure no matter what I do their will be an improvement next time.  The pan was great.  These are only a few crazy things that happened that day!

The weather in Melbourne can go down to 0 degrees I believe.  The average right now in their fall is 14 but Ken can correct me.

I use to take different routes on my walks but not so much anymore.  I have a short one, a medium one and a long route.  I like walking with some one and also enjoy walking alone when you can really appreciate what you are seeing, hearing and smelling. 

Even one can be a handful!  Same age as Jasmine!

GRAY

Yesterday another cool wet gray looking morning greated my eyes as I look out the window.  A lovely quiet time to find the stillness within myself.  A day to bake some bread in my new loaf pan that is especially good for bread making.  I need all the help I can get.  A good day to do some sewing which I keep putting off because it seems like such a chore.

  Maybe I can finesh my novel so we can go off to the library.

A day like  this can be a gift to the creative spirit.
 Woodsworth found it a good time to write and reflect.

"When from our better selves we have too long
Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop
Sick of it's business, of it's pleasures tired,
How gracious, how benign is Solitude.

Or
"How shall I seek the origin? where find
Faith in the marvelous things which then I felt?
Oft in these moments such a holy calm
Would overspread my soul. . . . . .
to find the spirit of religious love
In which I walked with Nature,"

I enjoy the peace of solitude which allows the joy of being alive to penetrate my thoughts.
It is a time to be myself free of the expectations of others, free to daydream.
 I am alone and yet I am not alone as the silence is full of peace.  It is not empty.

There are so many problems and so little one can do about them.

I went for a walk in the rain with my friend.  We go the same route.  After her husband died she did not have the motivation to go for walks as it was something they did together.  So it has been very helpful for her, especially having some one to talk to.

Dad tried walking late in the day and only got to the end of our street when his hip pain got excoriating and he barely made it home again.  I am reminded again that to be able to walk and move is a miracle and I should never take it for granted.

The news in the Australian paper does not look good about Quantas.  Evidently a lot of people are being laid off.  Sometimes I think the whole world is crazy.  To be able to work at a job seems to be something to be so thankful for.  I was brought up to believe that savings were very important but that is not so now.


 

WALKING

This is an old picture but very like of to-day.  A very misty rainy day.  I woke up early but dozed off on the chesterfield as I was meditating.  I don't think that is what you are suppose to do.  Actually I was thinking of going on my walk and then I started thinking about the walks Jesus took with his disciples.  I have often found that walking with some one can be a time of very interesting talking.

I imagine that walking with Jesus would be very enjoyable but instead of providing answers he would ask questions.  The question in the minds of those who walked and talked with him would be to try and figure out if he was the Messiah they were waiting for.  They longed for a new age when the Messiah would set them free and the temple would be restored to former glory.  Even if he was only a revolutionary and a trouble maker he drew crowds to hear his words of hope.

It was interesting at church the minister talked about the way Jesus travelled everywhere by walking.
In the gospels when he referred to the world his listeners would only be aware of the world in which they knew.  Today we are given far too much information about our huge world.   

Why is Jesus remembered when he died a shameful and cruel death  as a criminal one who had denied their religious traditions and failed to become their King.  I have this feeling that anyone who walked with him felt loved unconditionally.  They were never the same.  They would feel that presence with them even when he was not alive.  He was and will always be unforgettable to anyone who has felt this presence.

Love becomes holy within each one of us. We see it in parents who sacrifice sleep and their own needs for the needs of their children. 

I did not walk before church in the morning but went later just before the rain began.  Dad stayed home. 

"I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.-Soren Kierkegaard,  Letters and Documents  I know there is truth in this because I have so often felt so much better after my walk.

Cold and wet looking out this morning so it will be a winter  rain jacket morning.  Disappointing wong week-end for a lot of people.  I guess I should not have gone out and bought summery clothes!

RELATIONAL

Lilacs remind me of the home I grew up in with a lilac tree outside the bedroom window.
I like how the flowers bloom here gradually.

Our lives are full of good memories some even from childhood!  

Thankfully there is a rhythm to what I call the spiritual life which is all about relationships.
Learning to live with another person requires honesty and patience and committment.,

It was very exciting to see how happy Mathew and Jasmine were on the visit with skype as they showed us there new bunk beds.  Talking with ken was a little more difficult with little heads popping in and out of the screen and little voices trying to tell us things.  Lots of fun.  Children certainly change our lives and once they are born they enter our hearts and we cannot immage life without them.

We enjoyed our evening out at the barbecue with Cathy and Glen as we gather to celebrate Glen's birthday and also Gracelyn's.  We were entertained by the little fellow Uri who is the same age as Jasmine.  I did not really feel like going but I value their friendship and of course was glad I had gone.

I wrote twice yesterday to send Ken a message of where we would be and when we would be home to skype.

BLUE SKY

The sky is a deep blue and the sun is slowly starts it's journey across the sky.  Yes I do not wonder that people worshiped the sun as a god.  It feels so good when it welcomes me as I step out my door.  Yes, there is one orange cat waiting to greet me and then hurry on it's way.  It is cool so a two sweater day.  I start out briskly down the hill to the little bridge where the salmon swim under.  Then it is across the shady path on to Scott Road.  Rick knows the way.

Then it is climbing up the hill and off comes one sweater as I am feeling warmer.  By the time I have climbed the hill and reach Sunwood Drive the next sweater comes off.  (this is the closes I will get to being a stripper)  By now my pace has slowed down.  I see a van with camping gear starting out for the holiday week-end.  Then a group of about fifty bikers ride by me making a swishing sound.  I am feeling hunger pangs and a need for a bathroom break.  It has been a good walk.  I get home to find that dad driven out to meet me but some how we must have just missed.  I came home and had scrambled eggs and toast with Melina and Ken's special jam.  Peach, Ginger and Pansy Compote.

Drove over to see Sandra and Randy working on putting a new sidewalk in.  They had dug it out and shaped it and were putting rocks in.  Next they add sand and then the blocks.  They tired me out just seeing them working so hard.  It is no wonder Sandra has a sore hip but she will not listen to me.

We  have been invited out to a party at Cathy and Glen's for Gracelyn's birthday and for Glens.  We will not be staying late.  It starts at 6 and we will be home by 8 in case Kenny skypes.

Fantastic

Yes, my fantastic husband was able to get me reinstated on my blog.  So I am so happy to be back in action again and waiting for your comments.  I feel safer expressing my opinions on here than on face book and I was thinking how important it is to think we are being heard.

Walking with my friend Gundy I realized today, I am a slow learner, that it is not the walk but that she has some one to express her opinions with and her experiences too.  She has become a good friend.

Nancy-Lou it has been so good getting to know you.  I do hope this week-end is a peaceful one at your place with no fires.  Everything is quiet on our street.  One of our neighbors has gone to open up their cabin at the lake.  The young boys are involved in baseball tournaments so not playing road hockey so much right now.  That is how their ball laned in my garden from playing hockey.  Another neighbor is painting the trim on his house as they have just put it up for sale.  They are such a great family of four small boys so we will miss them when they move.  Houses do seem to be selling right now which is usual for the spring.

Did not feel too spring like this morning with a cold wind blowing on our backs as we walked.  I came home and decided to tidy up my computer room where paper and junk just seems to find its home here.  Dad went to the bank and did some shopping and by the time we had a late lunch it was too late to do anything or go anywhere.

Making room for what I need and getting rid of junk is a good rule also for the spiritual.  Yes, I have had to look at what I have learned growing up, evaluate it, and get rid of the junk that clutters up your mind, and make room for new ideas.  These too have to be evaluated.  The journey from childhood faith to an adult faith can seem treacherous and unreal at times.  I have read that one must come to a place of complete doubt but for me that would mean being in the bleak state of atheism and what for me would be a state of meaninglessness and emptiness. 

It is important to gain an adult understanding of religious language.  A language expressed in myth story, symbols, images, etc; which contain messages for us to learn from and live by.  What they did in much of the old testament they did to survive and out of the belief in a warrior God of Thunder and judgment. 

I am completely convinced that imagination is a spiritual gift along with intuition, the subconscious and all that we see and hear and smell around us.  The wonderful and fantastic thing about this is that this spiritual life is open to the simplest and the most sophisticated.

K. Armstrong says that it is important to take time to step "outside" the egoistically centered self and be open to a wider reality.  Sometimes I wonder to myself "now where did that thought come from"?

She suggests that it is egotism that makes us identify with one opinion rather than another, become quarrelsome and unkind, say this could not mean that, and think we have a duty to change others to suit ourselves.  Varitiy is the spice of life!

Plato said that truth flashes upon the soul, like a flame kindled by a leaping spark, and nourishes and strengthens us individually but this cannot always be put into words.  The object is to create a new Authentic Self which is very difficult.

I was so thrilled to find the avocado that Kim had made for Oliver and left here for me to give to him and I looked and looked and could not find it.  So I asked Oliver are you sure I did not give it to you?
He was sure I had not.  So there is was in a little yoga bag hanging quietly in the cupboard and I never thought of looking inside until yesterday.  So happy it finally turned up.

We have no plans for today just see what we feel like doing.

Too bad the green color does not show up that well.  Inside was a little shark tooth bracelet.

Normal

I think there is a special grace that comes with even a very ordinary life. 
I understand now why older people seem to need this feeling of security and peace that comes with a daily routine.

I also like to know what I believe so that my faith can have a firm foundation.  One of our greatest challenges is sorting through the old beliefs and finding the spirit still breathing into new words of revelation.  It is exciting to relearn what you have grown up knowing through the eyes of science
and the discoveries that others have made and share as we learn through questioning.

What really was a minor inconvenience with my computer was very upsetting for me.  Words that others have said have touched my life in so many ways I want to be a part of the flowing interchange of words and ideas.  It helps give me a feeling of worth.

I have been reading some heavy stuff like the Palestinian and Israeli problems and now about the slave trade bringing blacks to England.  "Liberty was sacred but only when it favored the owners."  The slaves had no rights at all.  Slavery has a very dark and brutal past and it's existence feeds on one race feeling superior to another.

A massive western red cedar at a Provincial Park on Vancouver Island was stolen; it happened in a very remote parks on the island.  It was 800 years old.  It is hard to believe that people could and do such a thoughtless deed presumably for money.

THE GOLDEN RULE

I have never seen salmon here but the signs say this is where they swim.

Not a good picture but I am afraid of messing with this blog thing right now.

There were no cats waiting for me this morning.

I was completely annoyed and frustrated when my blog did not publish and I could not get sign in at all.  It takes energy and thought when I write this silly thing so it is important to me.  I would say that I was possessed with a spirit of depression. 

The Golden rule seems easy but in fact is the hardest thing to do in life and certainly takes self-knowledge, empathy and compassion.  We tend to use our own feelings as a guide to understanding others.  It is important for me that I first look for the good qualities in some one else and try not to dwell upon their flaws as I hope they will not dwell on mine.

It is true that I have to take responsibility for my mistakes.  I am getting forgetful especially about birthdays but now I forget that I have forgotten which helps with the guilt.  It is useless to feel bitter about the negative emotions in my life and the life of others.  As human beings we all feel anger, frustration, annoyance and even contempt at times, for ourselves and for others.  Behind these emotions lurks the darkness of fear that I may be in denial about.

If we think to much we can be fearful of the future.  There is the fear of old age, the fear of pain and the loss of mobility and Independence and deepest of all is the fear of our own emotions.

Our speakers are working very well although it took time to get use them.  We would be turning the T.V. down forgetting it was the speakers that needed to be adjusted.  I like them because you can have one on and not the other.  Music sounds especially amazing.

Dad went and had his cortisone shot in his hip today and took it easy but he did a good job getting my blog working.

I went visiting but just had short visits.  Getting my energy back slowly.

THE BRAVE

It was a morning like every other morning as I step out the door the three cats are waiting for me.
The orange one at the end of the driveway, the gray one under the car and the black one across the street.  Missing is the black and white one that is never still and roams the neighborhood and loves to come in your house any chance he can get.  Nevertheless I was off for my walk.

Got home and dad took off to try a walk in the forest and Panteli was putting air in the tire of his car and then doing his packing.  He is off to see his parents; so from one old couple to another.

Dad came home from his walk very tired and his hip had been giving him pain.  I came home from my shopping for clothes also very tired.  What a pair.

As we watch our D.V.D. about a little boy with cancer I am reminded of what the young girl, who works at Chapters, and is very crippled with arthritis, said to me about what her mom told her, that only the brave are chosen to suffer.  She always inspires me because she is so cheerful and helpful and her name also happens to be Beth.

Seeing some one else face difficulty makes us see our own in perspective and hopefully helps me to have empathy for others.  Whatever suffering brings into our lives we know that others battle even greater pain and grief.  This is not always easy especially when we do not want to deal with the homeless man sitting in front of the store, the person who feels bitter about the unfairness of life, sad stories that could break your heart.

Yes, we feel helpless but is by remembering the kind words of wisdom that another has told you, a smile that takes an effort, all let the feeling of being alone lift off our shoulders.  How we handle our problems big or small is an example for others.

Generosity, courage and a sense of humor make us strong even when we feel weak.  And yes we have our bad days when we feel, or I should say, I feel useless because I do not accomplish what I would like to do or what I use to be able to so.  It is hard to be in pain and it is hard to see others in pain.  Prayer helps me to feel that I am doing at least something by sending love to another.

Faith is something you do in your relationship to others and to God knowing that "the highest good, the realm of the sacred, must always remain a mystery to us"                                                                 -Rediscovering Reverence by Ralph Heintzman

A CLOSE CALL

Things were looking a little grim Sunday night and I wondered if we would make it to the morning.
I checked each bathroom and moved a roll from one to another.  That was just the kind of day it was!

Now it is time to dig out our fan, hope that was not one of the things we gave away.  I can't seem to find summer clothes so that is a good excuse to go shopping.  Didn't  quite feel up to it today.  Good day to do some work in the garden, cutting the grass and watering.

I was thinking today about what qualities I value in other people.  Why do we fall in love with the people we trust with our happiness?  How well do we really know each other?  They say love is blind and I think in many ways it is. 

Everything would be fine until some added stress comes along and although opinions can be expressed people very seldom change their minds.    Have we really the same hopes and dreams and what about our fears?

I know I have a bad habit of being sarcastic if I think it is funny and it is something that I am becoming more aware of.  It can be easier to be kind to an acquaintance than some one you feel close to and expect understanding and compassion.  I have found that happiness was different than I expected and when you work through "issues" that take time (years) it is worth it in the end.  This is a process of discovering more about our own selves.  Wisdom tells us that we all really know the answer to our problems within our own minds and hearts,  I am getting ready to read the next chapter in Karen Armstrong"s book on empathy.

This morning I am hunting for the tennis ball the children lost in my front garden.

At noon the great car exchange happens as Panteli drives to Craig's at noon and then Craig will drive him to the airport and have the car for several weeks.

                                                     Amazing colors in nature!

I am eager to get back out for my walk today after missing on Sunday.
 Feeling much better but a little weak.
A good reminder that I always have to be careful with my eating and also not get over-tired.

Returned from my walk thinking when did that little hill turn into a mountain?

I realize that we all handle stress differently and I can enjoy the moments when I feel on top of the world and accept when I do not.  We may study and dissect life looking for answers but unless we take into account human emotions it will always just be an intellectual stud

Thinking about our group discussion on Saturday where we talked  about gazing at Auguste Rodin's bronze sculpture The Thinker there is a reason that in church we look up at the cross.  In this life there will be suffering, some we bring on ourselves and others we inherit and other situations we find ourselves in.

I started writing this for Tuesday but the words have disappeared in one press of a key.  I am writing at different times of the day now because of my routine changed a bit with company.

CONFUSION

Saturday a day of generous warmth started with a quick  walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the freshness of the air and all the trees coming out in full bloom.  I stepped out the door  the birds
 are singing and  the cats come for a visit while I pull up a few of those darn weeds  and another day began,

 I am expecting a special day dad with watching Ben play soccer.  Morgan will be there too with her dad as Theresa is doing another wedding photo opt.  When we arrive at the sports center we find there are about 10 fields with all different ages playing.  I go off to find where Ben's game is and dad waits by the car as his feet are very bad.

I find what looks like Ben's age when I feel someone hugging my legs from behind and it is Morgan of course.  I wave up at Mikie but he has sun glasses on and I cannot tell if he sees me.  Ben plays a good game and we enjoy his competitive spirit.  He is very hot and tired and comes to sit by us.  Evidently we missed the best play of the game when he aimed the ball at the net with his head!

 
We stopped for lunch at Milestone and then home for a nap.  Dad had promised to help serve meals at a dinner in a poorer neighborhood.  I was confused about the time but thought it best not to be too early as I knew it would be hard for dad to walk around a lot.  The trouble was the dinner was at 4 so by the time we got there it had already been served.  We could have stayed to help but looked like there was lots of help but we both felt bad about the whole thing.

Actually we barely got home in time to drive back to Langley for our discussion group.  Why are some people religious and some not.  One is that certain people may have "deficits in the intuitive cognitive process" that allows humans to grasp spiritual concepts.

A second reason some people are not religious is that they may live in strongly secular cultures, such as Canada and parts of Europe, which generally "lack cues" that support spirituality.

I found the discussion lively but confusing.  We heard about quarks that no one has seen but upon which are society has built upon.  Heightened analytical thinking can also decrease a person's spirituality.  The recognition we are all spiritual beings.

Sunday I felt very sick and confused that maybe I had eaten something said wheat-free but not gluten-free.  Talked to Sandra and Rick and Theresa on the phone and was surprised by flowers from Panteli and an amazing basket of goodies from Melina and Ken.

I was sorry to miss church but left better by supper so we went out to eat with Panteli and home to bed early.

MOTHERHOOD

Dad and I had a restful day.  I had lunch in the back yard and watched the mother and father bird fly in with worms.  In and out they went never stopping.

I think that deep within most mothers who love their children there is a mother bear instinct to be in control of all the children learn and all that influences their young ones.  I know I wanted to keep my children safe but also free. but I have learned that this is pretty impossible.  They learn from their friends, from teachers and from family. 

I very much missed my mom being more apart of my life as a mother and in the lives of my children.

A lot is expected of mothers in this day and age which can make their lives stressful and exhausting.

As parents we ourselves possess gifts that we want to pass on to our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.  When children start to ask questions then it is a sign they are ready to learn.  I know that I have made mistakes doing what I thought was best and trying to share what gave my life not only meaning but a hope and a sense of God's unconditional love.

Panteli is taking us out for a Mother's lunch today which I am looking forward to

 I was blessed with the dearest mom in the world.

Thank you Melina and Ken for the lovely g;uten free basket of goodies.  Wonderful!!  I will be into very soon.  Hope Melina and her mom enjoyed the day especially chocolate roses!

Happy Mother's day to mom's and to dad;s! 

Dad has put speakers by our chairs now so we can hear better.  Great job!

UNBIDDEN

I look forward to each flower which now is promising to bloom.  My morning walk is full of delight at the beauty I see and the fragrance of spring.  The young people are already wearing shorts and even sun dresses while I am considering putting my long under-wear back on.  When I feel chilled it seems to last for hours. 

I enjoyed openning my cards and the lovely words writen for me.

To-morrow is going to be a fun day but also very busy day.  Off to see Ben play soccer  to-morrow in the morning, Tavia wants to come for a visit, serving supper at the church hall for those who are in need, and then to our study group in the evenning.  Some where there will have to be time for a nap!

    Human life is surrounded on all sides by  mystery of unbidden bursts of light that
 bring joy unspeakable and prayer from the heart.  Life is good when touched by love.

CONTEMPLATION

                                  Being in the silence of prayer.

I had lots of time just to contemplate as I sat in the car at the doctor's office waiting for dad.  It was sunny but felt cold to me.  Instead of 10 minutes it became closer to 40.  He has bursitis in his hip and will be getting a cortisone shot.  Came home and his feet felt worse.  Even though his feet were hurting he did way too much walking around shopping.  Went to three stores to find just the right card for me.  Also bought some things at the hardware store like a new sprinkler and some speakers so we may be able to hear the T.V. better. 

I am so blessed to have such a loving husband!

 I did my visiting at the Nursing home.  It was a very sad visit.

There are so many unanswered questions especially when it comes to the suffering that we see and at times touches our own lives.  I know that it is important to be aware of our own pain and the pain of others.  This seems to be important on our path to wisdom.  There are no reasons but one purpose can be that we become more empathetic with the suffering of others.

There is a path that journeys beyond this knowable world of facts  and  reason.
 Contemplation helps us to be more caring and thoughtful.

 
I have to be so careful when I walk among my garden to step on the stones, not on plants, and go slowly because I can easily lose my balance.  I have to also go carefully in my faith walk;  learning and practicing and keeping truth in balance. 

One can quote scripture to prove a point while another quote will disprove it. 

Why are we here?

Science can never replace religion in my view.  Both have to have a beginning and take us on a journey.  I was born into my parents world of conversation which came from the conversation they heard when they were born.  Different opinions are being expressed all around me, all the time meanwhile I contemplate the words I hear in my mind.  What I think and feel are all part of a process.

THE STUDY

This was taken outside the airport a place we just discovered as we walk in to pick up Rick on Tuesday.

Early the next morning Rick and I were able to have a short walk before having breakfast with Panteli and dad.  Rick was anxious to get home to his own place.

Then dad went for a long walk in the forest; the pills may be helping a little but they will take time.
I was off to our final Bible study at the church.  Our questions touch on our personal life's as well as the lives of those we are studying.  I find this group very helpful and caring as we learn and laugh and love together!

Faith and belief are in my mind totally different.  The problem started as Christianity was adopted by Greco-Roman culture.  Belief was a matter of the mind expressed in dogma and creeds etc.  This has now caused a split between religion and spirituality.  I, for one, enjoy going to church but I can appreciate that for others they have a faith that is real to them but does not have to be expressed in attending a worship service.

Christian spirituality is a way of living and loving that allows for the beauty of Jesus to shine through and reflect the joy of being alive.

Faith is like living water which I tried to capture in this picture.  Jesus invited all to come and drink from the well of living water.

Faith is the heart of our belief but it is a decision not based on certainity or knowledge but on need and hope that gives one a spirit of confidence and trust.

Belief stress the need to be rational but when belief is proved wrong where does that leave faith?
We are all irrational beings who at times are lead by our emotions our, intuitions, our creativity that encludes all art forms. 

What we dare dream or imagine today can come true and I know that my truth is based on faith.

ARRIVALS

So good to have the day begin with sunshine and a visit.

Then off to the North Shore to arrive in good time for Chris's birthday at Susan and Keith's.

Home again then back on the road to pick up Rick.

Final destination White Spot.