CONTRASTS

A day of contrasts.

It starts out so cold in the morning but before you know the sun shines
and warms the air so that it almost feels hot.  I actually put on long underwear to go for my morning walk and I meet young kids off to school in their shorts and light tops.  I get goose bumps just looking at them. 

I had a amazing wonderful day for my anniversary.  Dad decided I needed some new clothes so said lets go shopping.  Value Village I suggested.  No I want you to have something nice.  So off to hte ladies Suzanne's in Scotsdale.  I look for plain and comfortable in big sizes and dad looks for fancy smaller sizes.  In the end we made some very good choices.

I was feeling very young at heart, very loved and spoilt.  I am very blessed to have such a caring AND helpful husband.

I next set off to visit Jim and Freda, pleased to be taking him his home baked chocolate cookies.  He was absolutely miserable and I know that he has good reasons to be.  He is lonely and leads a miserable life and he admitts his thoughts are dark and negative.  Maybe the change in the weather is making him mean to the extreme and I know I should not feel hurt by his hateful depression but I do.  It could also bee his meds.  A learning experience for me to teach me to ask if he wants a visit or not.

Fortunely Freda is a dear soul and cheers me up as we laugh together.  Her life has changed a lot since she moved in there she lived in a small but beautiful apartment where she had a flower garden she loved taking care of.  She has been married twice and both her husbands died. I am reminded that it is a gift when some one wants to share the story of their life with you.  She is thrilled to hear it is my anniversary.

The day end joyously as dad and I went out to the North Shore Golf Club with Jane, my dear friend, and hubby Geof.  We get along famously.  The view is beautiful and our meal excellent.  It was so good to relax and just have fun together.

What a happy note to end a glorious day on.  Life that is lived aware of the sacredness of all life flows through the moments of the day.  All things great and small make a pattern that weaves the sadness and the joys to create something lasting and meaningful.

Yes the leaves are turning colour and are falling one by one and the days are growing darker but joy comes in unexpected moments of happiness and contentment.  I have had a busy but productive week.

What about you?  And yes Jane I did see the things you saw in my picture that I did not realize where there until you mentioned them!  !  !  The woman in the burka was our umbrella and there was an angel in the tree along with scissors!  !

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

It is hard to believe another year has flown by.  I thought you had forgotten dear, because I almost had.
We are certainly looking older but happy to have each other.  I am getting more forgetful and more clumsy but still feel I am very much the same me.  So far we have made no plans but maybe we will get an inspiration now that our day is here.  My guess is 55 years but I am not good at dates. 

Our picture was taken by Sandra at her and Randy's house where we were treated to an excellent dinner make with gluten-free ingredients.  Thank you Sandra for all the effort you both made and especially the thoughtfulness.  Dad and I thoroughly enjoyed every bite!

It was good to have Cameron come for his visit.  He looks very happy and he and Shandel have a few years to catch up on us.  I felt a lot of joy being at their wedding.  Now, I wonder who will be next in our family?

I have a touch of asthma right now that hit me in the fall last year and has decided to visit me again this year.  It is annoying especially when I eat and sleeping at night.  Dad slept better because his shoulder did not bother him last night.  He probably just needed a good meal.

My quote for the day :
"If I can unplug from fantasy ( but not imagination) and bring the real me to the table, the real me as I am at that moment, then I can make room for the real God.

Not just the God others have told me about.

Not just the God I was told I had to believe in.

Nor just the God who is the projection of my wishes, "unquiet thoughts", or "folklore dreams".

God becomes present as gravity, light, heat, friendship, hope, love--the Real Presence, who is really present."

From "Naked Spirituality" by Brian D. Mclaren.

HILARIOUS

I laughed out loud  as I was reading about the wroter who was so much like me.  She even gets up at 5:30.  She started journaling her thoughts at a time in her life when she was feeling miserable and like me when she went to reread them she destroyed them.  It was like I was sitting with her sharing in her laughter as she  visits with friends, even picks up community garbage' she loves old quotes and is having to deal with getting older.  She is searching for truth and light that also encludes the spiritual.  

Her marriage has broken up but she continues to believe that if you take a step toward life, life will support you.  She finds that ideas come and go in her head and are too countless to write about.  At the same time she can sit down to write and her mind seems empty until she begins.

In writing  about life she finds she is able to express what she is feeling and that is just being herself, not a daughter or mother or wife.  This can mean becoming detached from worries and uncertainties.

"There is something mysterious but obvious about the importance of staying put"

The Journal Keeper  by Phyllis Theroux

Yesterday when I went to visit at the hospital I had to sit as my friend was having tests.  Resting the mind allows the soul to do its work.  I had a beautiful view of White Rock and could even see the ocean.  I watched people coming and going.  A young girl bringing a present for a baby was full of happiness, while others walked slowly not looking forward to their visits.

My friend was glad to see me and share what she was going through.  I cannot imagine being a doctor as they struggle with illness and the unknown causes of what they are discovering,  I feel a deep sadness knowing what it is like to have to face the unknown. 

As I hold her hand and say a prayer I believe that there is a healing power that can awaken within us a healing energy to help us face the fear with faith.

LIGHT

As I turn on my light in my computer room I will soon hear my neighbor Cathy's car starting and I know she is off to work.  She looks up at my window and knows all is well I am on my computer.  She came over to check on us when we were away because she had missed my light.

We are not always aware of the light we bring into the lives of others but we all do!

I like to try to use my journals to be a source of light even on the days that are dull and dark.

Yesterday as I went out the door, rain pants on and all, to walk with my friend Gundy the rain felt gentle and refreshing on my face; but as we turned the corner on our walk the rain came pelting down and it was miserably cold.  It was good to open the door to the warmth and light of home.

On the radio as dad and I got ready for bed they were talking about kindles and I cannot imagine a world without book stores and libraries.  I love going into both.  There is nothing like opening the first page of a book not knowing want you will find written in the words there.

I suppose I write about a lot of the same things; my family, my friendships, learning even in aging, the joy I find in writing and reading, the struggles of staying on my diet in the desire to stay healthy, and at times the feelings of self-doubt.  I know that I am not alone in my experiences.

Today dad is off to the skin doctor in White Rock.  I may go with him to do some visiting and shopping at Choices and drop some books off at the book drop off there.  First I will head out for a walk and enjoy seeing the light coming to start this new day.

I had candles ready yesterday in case the power went off but although it did get windy it was not as bad as in some places.

I am thankful for the light that the words and actions Jesus brings into my daily existance!

FAMILIAR

There is something comforting about the familar.

When we went for our walk in the Water Shed with all it's different paths Morgan and grandpa started back ahead of Ben and I.  "Grandpa" she asked each step along the way, " does this look familiar?"  He wondered if this was a new word she had just learned.  Children are more observant than we realize.

The weather yesterday was a bit crazy, with rain a little sunny period, and a fierce blowing wind that made crashingg noises in our house.  It was amazing it did not blow our sagging fence down.

It is good to see all the familiar faces at church and see the familiar surroundings.  There was a wonderful little group of children that brightens the whole place.  I had a crazy spell of vertigo so left early which was too bad as I wanted to talk to a few people.  I wondered if it had anything to do with the pressure in the atmosphere.  Who knows? 

Today we are off to the library and to do some shopping.  The cupboard is looking bare but it is amazing what you can make with some bits of things here and there.

I enjoy singing the familiar and simple hymns in church.  I notice dad does too.  It is important for me to take time to be in a place of worship where I can find quiet and hear familiar words of scripture.  Time to be free of distractions and tasks that need to be done and let my soul respond to the spiritual that is too often forgotten about or pushed aside. 

BEFORE AND AFTER

Ben and Morgan loved exploring the woods and they ran continually everywhere.

THE PICNIC

I enjoyed the time dad and I had with the great-grandchildren in the Water Shed woods.  I have had a very hard time admitting that I do not have the energy to keep up with them.  It would have been a lot for me to have them over-night but in my heart I did want to do it. 

It was good the children were so happy and excited to go to Auntie Sandie/s house.  Actually great auntie.  It is sad to let go of things you have enjoyed doing.  I have always enjoyed children.

Morgan and I find some blackberries.

Ben enjoys climbing and exploring.

Morgan is still for a moment.

even grandpa is on the move.

Grandpa was the one who came home and had a short power nap.  I was exhausted when we got home from Sandra's where we left her and the two children snuggled on the couch to watch a movie.

Children grow up so fast and I realize more now than ever the importance of childhood and the things I have learnt that have been the biology of my belief about myself, others and my world and were I fit in .

GOOD ENERGY

This was taken last week when we went to Sharkies for lunch.  It was a perfect day to sit outside.

I wanted to go there to try the glutin free salmon which was excellent.

Ladner is a quaint little town to walk around and the old book store is still there, Rick

I am just filling in time before we go to Chuck's house to pick up Ben and Morgan.  Then we are off to a picnic in the Water Shed.  After we pick up pizza's we drive to Sandra's for their sleep over.  Randy is not home now but will be there in the morning,

Should be fun! ! !

STRESS

Stress can be both good and bad.

I am looking forward to having Morgan and Ben come to stay and spend time with us.

I liked being asked.

I do not like the feeling that others feel that it is too much for me.  I appreciate the concern that Theresa has in asking me and the concerns of dad and Sandra that my energy is not the greatest.  I am glad both of them will be helping and I realize it is important for me to understand the problems. 

I wish I had read this book on stress many years ago and it may have been able to help me understand myself better and also recognize what my own emotional needs are.  I have known that we are often attracted to people who are opposite to ourselves.  Dad had a great sense of adventure and liked taking risks while I like to feel safe and close to those around me.

My mom was a wonderful woman who was very strong in her own way and also very kind and loving.  She instilled in me the fear that you cannot trust a person that has been drinking because of the unhappiness her sister experienced with her husband's drinking.

My Aunt Edith was always very cheerful and I enjoyed her sense of humor and great spirit.

We  learn to cope with difficult circumstances and it is important that we learn to realize that the greatest source of stress in our lives is adjusting to others; while remaining true to your own sense of worth and uniqueness.

We are born into this world of stress with our imperfect parents that are learning to cope with life themselves.  Thus begins our journey to find our own happiness.  Looking back I can see the stages talked about, the need for acceptance, the awareness of my personality, the freedom to express emotions of anger and sadness that help me become automatous.  Finding healthy attachments where I can be assertive and affirmed.

Hopefully I can keep a sense of humor. 

Today I will be visiting a very old friend who is in the last stages of her life and I am aware that this could be my last visit with her.  I think that I have a gift when it comes to visiting the sick and although this too can be draining I find joy in being able to comfort others.

I think I will be happy if no one reads this but I am still processing life and hopefully learning.

I find strength in the spiritual practice of prayer and silence and scripture.

SPIRITUAL ENERGY

This is the first day of fall and the leaves are really starting to cover the ground.  I woke up to a lovely fresh cool breeze blowing in our window and felt good.  I hope it is not raining on our walk today but we will be going anyway.  I cannot find my rain pants which is very annoying.

The message I gave at the church was basically about finding spiritual energy to overcome stress and worry in our lives.  Some people with very difficult childhoods carry within them hidden stress.  This I have been reading about in the book "When the Body Says No"  by Gabor Mate, M.D.

Children evidently absorb the stress of their parents without being aware of this.

In childhood I learned how to cope with life by trying to be a "good" little girl.  My dad was very strict and I am sensitive to harshness in voices even today.  Intellectually I can see how I need to change and be transformed but learning to live out new beliefs takes practice. 

What do I value in life?  Having a pure heart and a loving spirit are not something we are born with, or if we are life has the power to destroy this, but I need to find ways to bring back what was taken from me.  Some things come naturally in life but others have to be attained and worked for.  This is a goal.

For me the powerful stories and words of scripture  have always spoken to me.  There is healing for the spiritually broken as I learn to return to words of hope and healing.  Psalm 91 says "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High God shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 

There is a spiritual place that calls to me to rest and trust in the Love that has been provided for me from the beginning of creation.  Words of wisdom spoken and written ages ago still have the power and energy to help me accept my limitations but trusting in prayer find new strength.

Early in scripture it says God will provide and at times when life gives us more than we can feel we can bear it is good to remember that not only is there spiritual energy in scripture but in the love of family and friends.  Certain things are beyond our control and if we are not willing to make an effort to use what we have and reach out to others in need we can find the place where we are stuck painful.

I am happy to be apart of a faith community where the love of God is expressed in words and in action.
The older I become the more aware I become of the need to feel loved in spite of not being able to do what I used to be able to do. 

The seasons change and I miss the sunny warm mornings but I find joy in feeling the rain on my face and the breeze blowing in my window.  Many in this world are facing difficult challenges and I pray that they will find strength in faith to help them through,

"Love bears all things,  believes all things,
hopes all things,  endures all things"

THE UNKNOWN

I am in a place where I am finding it hard to write.

I thoroughly enjoyed our drive through the mountains which gave me a carefree feeling of enjoying the beauty and feeling free of everyday stress. Today I will be back walking in the rain which I actually do not mind. 

It seemed we had barely caught our breath on arriving home when we were asked to host our study group.  This meant cleaning the house which had been gathering dust and dirty all summer.  It meant moving furniture so that the 11 of us could see the D.V.D. on Buddhism.  I had certain impressions about this religion, which they say is not a religion, although they have monks and rituals and teachings.
Buddha was a great spiritual man who I understand had faith in human nature being transformed from power seeking to one of peace and inner happiness.

There is wisdom in his teachings but also many strange stories that are suppose to help us see into his life and teachings.  Buddha sat under a tree, as we all know, after seeing human suffering and deciding to leave his rich easy life as a prince behind.  He would eventually choose a middle path that did not require him to give up all the comforts of life.  This path required freedom from possessions and from power and yet one was to desire to become like Buddha and thus reach this state of happiness.  This would I understand if one attain this high achievement free you from the unknown of coming back into another life to complete your spiritual growth,

Yesterday, I was asked to give a little devotional talk at our U.C.W. meeting and I found reading and writing about scripture that gives me the courage and hope for this life more meaningful.  I also included  some inspirational  stories from the life of a very handicapped man born with no arms and no legs.  He struggled with why God had let this happen but as he was able to find purpose and meaning in his life he has used that to inspire many others to find meaning in difficult circumstances.

Yes, life can be interesting and fulfilling especially when we come together with old friends and share laughter even when we are feeling the aches and tiredness of getting older. 

I woke up feeling no inspiration,  my mind empty, legs aching, feeling that writing was an effort I that  had to talk myself into doing.  I will start back doing my visiting today which like most things you stop doing, it is hard to start again. 

Yes there will be other brave souls enjoying the rain and the fresh air.   

HOMEWARD BOUND

We drove home all in one day.  Just before Blue River we caught up with a group of old cars.  They also stopped at the same restaurant that we did.  A new place to us that served great fish and chips.
We had another nice day so we made very good time and even passed a few cars.


The last part of our drive was right into the sun.

CLOSE UPS

Rick and daughter Leah laughing together.  We are so happy Leah is finally starting to improve.  It has been a long time for her recovering from her car accidents.

Sandra and daughter Mary.  Mary's hair is growing in after having it all cut off to give to the cancer wig program.  What a great gift to give some one. 

Mary and Michael John are moving back east where he will work and continue his studies.  Mary will be working with children which she loves to do.

It was good fun to get to know Tyler better and we all were so happy he made the long journey from Brisbane to Delta then to Chiliwack and Vancouver and finally to Edmonton.  He is enjoying his job making sure things are being handled correctly as they come into the country.  Imports and exports.
He worked all day and night to catch the morning plane to fly to Cananda.  Good on you mate!

Happiness is having all the hard work and plans working out so well.  Time for some fun!

Shawna looking very beautiful with her curly hair.  She gave us an amazing calender with family pictures to help us remember birthdays.  I sure need that now.  Excellent job Shawna.  You and Sandra did great in planning a fun time for all.  It was great that everyone had a special place to rest their heads.

Randy is happy the down stairs bathroom is working and so is Stephen!

Stephen was all smiles and made us all feel welcome.

Theresa provided the transportation and did most of the driving; getting everyone there safely.

Kim actually got a movie of a elk running accros the road.  Her energy livens up our parties.

Craig is a good sport and adds his sense of humor to our gatherings.  Leah and Craig also gave Tyler a good time in Vancouver showing him the town.

Mary you are very special!

Two happy brothers

A very bright sunny day but Leah is still smiling

Dad enjoying it all

TRUE LOVE

The morning finally arrives when the young couple, surrounded by family and friends declare their love for one another.

No sign of cold feet only a shy and happy groom.

Shandel was ecstatic and beautiful as her dream was coming true.

This young couple had a lot of stress taken out of the planning by the extraordinary hard work that Shawna and Sandra had put into fixing up the basement for the cousins from B.C. to stay there.

Stephen was a wonderful host and helped finishing the bathroom and he greeted us all with a beaming smile.  I was certainly impressed with all the "true" love that had gone into these preparations.  I cannot imagine the panic that would be felt if the gang from B.C., Brisbane and the Grand Caymans had cahanged their plans at the last minute.  Human nature can make us vulnerable to making wrong decisions; reminding us all of how imperfect we all at are.

The ceremony was short and the setting very peaceful as they said their vows of commitment.

I was extremely proud of both my grandsons.  They both looked so very happy.

Rick was determined to come by himself or with his son Christopher.  I was proud to see him there!

I wonder what they are thinking. 

Craig and Leah were very good sports and both helpful and joyous!

Stephen and Shawna your love was a gift to us all.  Thank you for sharing your home and having such a great party to start the week-end off in a festive note!  I have never seen Stepnen smile so much!

Yes there were lots of pictures taken and we left with many happy memories.

Now they had signed their marriage agreement so it is all legal. 

The most beautiful thing any heart can feel is loved.  This does not mean that there will not be good and not so good times in the years ahead as they mature and grow closer during the tough times.  It was a lovely wedding and dad and I are very happy for them both!

I am tired as I write this morning after having our group over last night.  Everyone enjoyed the squares and cookies baked so lovingly by Sandra.  Over the years I have tried to show my family my love for them as I baked and cleaned and took part in watching many of their activities!