Our Saturday

Ben picks out the pumpkins

Morgan on her way to score a goal

Ben completes a run around the field.

Sunday turned out to be a day of rest but I did miss not going to church.  Instead I did some reading and raking of leaves.  It is so good to be outdoors and enjoy the fresh air. It turned out to be a nice day which is good for all the children coming to our door.  I will be glad to get rid of this candy because it is too tempting; and the children that come here are mostly from our neighborhood and are so very cute.  The littlest ones just keep holding there little buckets out saying with their eyes "is there more?"

Truthfully I felt exhausted and miserable all day; but I knew I would feel better today.  And I do.

We just heard the news of a young person having to have both breast removed because of cancer.  Her husband came to the door with a big bunch of young children.  He is a very cheerful person and thankful his mother-in-law will come to help. 

"Human beings need to struggle, to toil, to think and to choose".  this is from Hope Will Find You.  The author, Naomi Levy, almost loses her faith as she cares for her daughter with a fatal degenerative disease.
I have been doing so well that I felt crushed and hopeless by my lack of energy.
What good am I to anyone?  Yes, I know it is time to be good to myself!

I will be careful in planning this week and I am so thankful that I can choose how to spend each day.

What a miserable day to be driving to work.  Just a short walk today!

HALLOW

The neighborhood decorates forHallow'een

There is already a fall glow in the air.

The word hallow means to make holy and this celebration comes from the blessing the earth , reckonizing the death of nature as all the fruits of the harvest are brought in.  There was a fear that spring would not come again as the days darkened and the air cooled.  So Hallow'een is the eve that is to be considered and reminds us that it is good to be thankful and to celebrate diversity and imagination. 

Hallow also means mystery and Halloween was first developed as a ancient pagan festival celebrated and brough to our country by Scottish, Irish and Welesh immigrants. 

"The early celts saw Oct. 31 and Nov. 1 as the beginning of the winter season; of long nights and dormant fields."  Douglas Todd. 

The boundary between the dead and the living became "thin" so it was also a time for the ghosts of the past to haunt us.  A place where there were ghosts was called a thin place and has also taken on a mystical spiritual reality; and the recognition of sacred geographical locations.

I do not think that many children know that the dressing up in costumes was to ward off the dangerous ones.

So tonight we will welcome the neighborhood children to the door by giving them a little candy.  We have 1 pumpkin that has a face drawn up it but it is not been cut out.  After we saw Morgan play soccer yesterday we stopped to pick up pumpkins with Theresa, Ben and Morgan.  Theresa locked herself out of the car and we had to wait for over an hour for B.C.A. to come.  I know when I try to hurry to do things that is when I make a mess of things, losing something or just getting confused and forgetful;.  Theresa had prepared a delicious chicken soup for us when we finally got to her house.

This meant lunch was later and we were later arriving home.  Ben was disappointed we had not helped him cut out his pumpkin. 

We had gone with Carol and Panteli and we were all very tired when we left.  Dad and I got home with no time to rest before heading out to Langley for our book study.  It was a very good discussion with a lot of honesty and there was a good feeling about the book and the writer, we had chosen to study.  We discussed places where the Holy Spirit filled us with energy and light or transcendence.

:As a liberal Christian Marcus Borg thinks of a thin place as an entryway into the commonwealth of God within which, he says, "we can move and breathe and have our being,"  This is not restricted to Christians.

I had trouble sleeping because I was over-tired and this morning I slept in till 6:45 but woke up feeling nauseated.  I think we are going to the Unitarian Church where there is going to be some special music and also our friend Peale is celebrating her 91 birthday on Nov. 1.

Plans have changed I will not be going to church today.

TIMELESS

Yesterday was a day when I was not a day to be lived by the clock.  So much of life seems to be lived watching the time and it is good to experience moments of timelessness, moments just to enjoy.

Today is different.  First I have to go back to the stores to see if I can find my debit card which I discovered I did not have as I went to pay for groceries yesterday.  Dad and I had had a wandering walk to the Safeway taking a few pictures and enjoying the last bit of sun in the day; so he was able to pay.

Then we are driving to Chilliwack to see Morgan the ballet dancer turned into a soccer goal scorer; big brother Ben will continue to kick that ball right into the net.  I hope the rain does not pour down although I see soccer players out in all sorts of weather along with soccer moms and dads.

We are meeting with our book study group to-night in Langley at 6:30 so it will be rushing home and back out again.  We are discussing "The Case For God" by Karen Armstrong so I need to take time to look over it quickly to refresh my memory.

When there is not enough time in a day I feel frustrated and rushed and I have to remind myself just to relax.

I was thinking back to my childhood when God was that very old man with the flowing white beard.  It is time to let go of some of the ideas I had of that old but very wise man.  It was much easier to have a real picture of a real man like Jesus, who lived as a human like me.

I like being up early in the morning and taking time just to be quiet and gathering strength and energy for the day.  I know this day will fly by very quickly.

CALM REFLECTIONS

DECISIONS

If I was choosing a costume I think I would choose a purple hat!

The truth is I have a hard time making decisions.  Just ordinary everyday decisions.  What to buy at the grocery store.  So many brands to choose from and so many labels to be read.  Even what kind of shampoo or toothpaste.  A short walk or a long walk it does not really matter I need to just start walking.  When to get my hair cut.  What to have for supper now that's a tough one.

The tough decisions are about what to do; and right now I am finding my visiting for nearly 4 hours at the nursing home and then tea with Shirley really making me exhausted.  Shirley is delightful as our several of the old dears I visit; but they can be hard to understand and I have to tell them all about what I am doing so it means I am doing a lot of talking.  Then there is the man who has had the stroke who is very negative, he does not believe in God but believes God made him have a stroke.  How sad when people blame God for all that is wrong in this world and yes even blaming religion for creating wars and evil, sickness and suffering.

I would find life hopeless if I could not believe in the power of prayer.  Prayer is an experience of spending time allowing myself to feel loved and to receive new strength for the day.

Right now I am just waiting and trying to be patient and let the answers come.  Answers come in unexpected ways through the inner assurance or the words of a friend or a family member.

I choose to believe in a God with a Big Ear and a bigger Heart. 


 

GIFTS

"The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best."  Yiddish Proverb

We all have our gifts hidden within us, some we have discovered and some wait to be discovered.

Yesterday Jane and I went to a healing prayer group and I met two very warm and loving ladies.  I was a little nervous because I was not knowing what to expect.  I experienced a gentle breeze that seemed to be blowing some negative cobwebs swirling around me away.

 Like a child that knows love I felt safe in the arms of Jesus.

I rushed home to be off to Bible study.  Now here I feel comfortable as we read the story of Adam and Eve.
This myth has a power wealth of truth just waiting to be uncovered.  A God who loves beauty and nature and animals and each one of us.  A God with a listening heart and a loving presence. 

A God who cannot prevent wars or sickness or evil but knows we have to learn to face life's ugliness and receive His gift of strength and courage.  New every morning. 

There is another Yiddish saying that if someone says I wish you well  then you reply
 "from your mouth to God's ear!" 

God  reminds us that our song brings pleasure to Him.
His son Jesus gave us words of life and the energy of the Holy Spirit to fill us with new wine!

My day ended with a glass of wine and a home cooked delicous meal at Sandra and Randy's home with his daughter Mandy and her husband James.

 This day has got off to a late start because my mouse did not work!

A CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

Today I will be meeting some new friends as I join Jane at a prayer circle.  Later in the day it is Bible study with the group at Colebrook.  I have had a quick walk this morning and it is cool and crisp.

Calming thoughts

I am just trying to get my lines to start in the right place.  Success at last.  Keeping calm must be the secret.

Yes I get caught up in my own thoughts, my worries of things that I should be doing.  Today I am being calm and resting and reading.  The only trouble is that this is not good for the ego that wants to accomplish something worthwhile.  Today is a day to listen and nourish my soul.  My prayer is that the light within me will grow brighter and energy will quicken my pulse with renewed hope.

Sometimes when I visit the elderly near death it seems like they come home with me.  I realize what is important in life.  I remember the dream I had when I heard footsteps walking around in my house.  Go away I yelled and nothing changed.  I watched the door but it did not open so I opened it and yelled go away.  Then I went back to sleep.

I ask myself what am I worried about?  I am I afraid of the unknown future?

"You will lead me besides still waters.  You will restore my soul.  My cup runneth over."

I read "Every soul is a sanctuary for God.  God holds the key to many doors but he waits for us to open the door of our heart..  That is our job, to make a home for God within us."
This is from "Hope Will Find You"  by Naomi Levy a Jewish Rabbi. 
I have a soft spot in my heart for Jewish authors as they say "however", " notwithstanding", and "none the less" and "just maybe."  I find they are much more open to letting you find your own answers because the key to the puzzle of life is available.

NOISE

The wind was make a terrific noise blowing things against the house.    

  I was sure the power was going to go out. 

 I was prepared with our trouble light and candles.

It seems calm this morning and I hope it is as Sandra and Randy take the ferry over to Victoria where Mandy, Randy's oldest daughter is graduating from a special course she was taking there.

Being on a ferry boat is not fun for me in stormy weather.  We took the ferry across from Prince Edward Island on a very storm fall day and dads sent outside to enjoy the rough ride.

• 
• I like the happy decorations.
• There have akready been some noisy fircrackers being set off in the alley behind the safe way.  Really loud explosions which they like to set off later in the evenning.  I don't like those noisy things.

I don't like going into a restaraunt with a lot of loud noisy music.

  I am sure it makes you eat faster and talk less.  Every once in awhile my computer will not space things right which is what it is doing today.  And it will not justify.

The good news that we are encouraged to make a joyful noise unto the Lord!

RAINDROPS

Waking up this morning I see the raindrops on the windows.  Today does not look too promising as far as the sun making an appearance.  I have promised to visit an elderly friend in Hospital in White Rock.  She has no family here except for the church family.   This picture was taken as we drove home on Saturday from a funeral.  We take so much in life forgranted until it is gone.

I agree with Karen Armstrong that all true spirituality must be expressed consistently in practical compassion, the ability to feel with others.  Faith has forced me to be more aware of my feelings and to practice not only loving others but loving myself.

I ask myself how does trying to answer the difficult questions in life find a source of truth in the Bible?  Hearts can grow cold, damaged by the hurts of living, and new life awakens a stronger sense of love and mystery.  Facts and fiction become one as I read the old stories that have a powerful potential to be life changing.  Memories mean more to us as we get older and wrinkles come with the graying hair and the funny bodily changes.  Laughter helps us accept what we cannot change.  Faith gives me courage to do what otherwise i would be afraid to do.  Visiting a dying friend takes energy that gives my life meaning in the deepest posible way.

Yesterday I passed my blog book on to another friend who had been looking for ways to keep some of her families memories alive.  This was spontaneous and I was a little shy about showing it to her but she was delighted.  We never know what effect our words and actions can have on others.

Now it is time to put on the rain pants and take out the umbrella as I go for my walk in the rain picking up leaves and clearing the gutters by the road.

THE MYTH

Words that are written down are often misunderstood and all words have there limitations.  It is extremely impossible to put God into words.  Even with this said theology and especially the Christian faith is very wordy.  I have now come to see that scripture is composed of both mythos and logos.  Logos can also be referred to as reason.  Logos would correspond accurately to external reality but it had it's limitations.  Myths have been called a primitive form of psychology.

When Freud and Jung began to chart their scientific search for their soul, they instinctively turned to these ancient myths.  A myth was never intended as an accurate account of historical event but described human nature and discover deeper truth about the capacity of the heart and mind.

We read in Genesis about two brothers who disagreed over religion and that is very common in our day too.  Two brothers have just now writen two very different books about religion. Peter Hitchens has just come out with a book that totally disagrees with his atheist brother Christopher Hitchens. Peter's book is called "The Rage Against God" how atheism led me to faith.

The works of Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and Christopher Hichens have focused their attach on fundamentalism which has become popular and stresses that the Bible must be taken literally.  I agree with some of their criticisms but I disagree with their refusal to dialogue with the more liberal religious thinking.

The issues that people have today are with -scripture interpretation, creation, miracles, historical accuracy and contradictions within scripture.  These are all themes that need to be examined if we are going to have a faith that changes people from the inside and at the same time deepens our compassion for others.

I think that it is important to discover what people are basing their faith on and how they then live out this faith.  God would be a faceless god to me if it where not for the words and the life of Jesus.  Religion is complex and the faith that flows out of belief  has had a great affect on us all. 

"Myth could tell us something true about our humanity, showing us how to cope with our morality and how to creatively endure suffering that is inevitable in this life."

"Our scientifically oriented knowledge seeks to master reason, explain it and bring it under the control of reason, But a delight in Unknowing has also been apart of the human experience".

There are things that bring tears to our eyes and other things bring joy to our hearts that we do not always understand why.  Music has the power to lift us out of ourselves and is a very powerful means to capture the heart in worship.  I think that we have too often focused on what we believe in stead of how we act.  I would be lost without my faith but I realize that I still have much to learn.

LUMINOSITY

It is the sunlight on the trees that give them luminosity.

There is a light that shines within us all!  This light is lit by love, by inspiration, by thankfulness, and by the beauty I see in others as well as in nature.  Yes, at times I do feel the light start to flicker within and I realize something is missing. 

What will awaken the sacred within me?

What will keep the sacred light burning

I believe that I can discover a transcendental dimensionsion of life, that I call the sacred, by the discipline of surrender, prayer and scripture reading that enables the searcher to "step outside" the prism of ego and experience the sacred.  This from Karen Armstrong in "The case for God.

Everyday I awaken now in the faint morning light knowing that the light will come.  After the dark days of solace the ancient people would gather at Stonehenge to welcome the sun.  The sun would shine perfectly through the stones and a shout of praise would go up.  Everyday is precious in the fall as we know the days will be getting darker and seem so much longer. 

I like to believe that everyday God says let there be light.  The secret is that there is His light shining even in our darkness.  The prayer of scripture is "let the light of Your face shine upon us".  Seeing the light shining through the trees with beams of brightness awakens my soul and gives me hope.  The Lord has promised to be my everlasting light and all I have to do is open my heart and receive.

I have used yellow highlight markers to brighten some of the words of scripture and it is in these words the Holy Spirit shines with purity and grace.  I would say that the Holy Spirit is the one who illuminates for me
an everlasting light.

"When the night is cloudy there is still a light"
"There is a light that shines on me"
"Let it be"

FOREVER YOUNG

October is such a colourful month with the changing leaves and all the decorations in the stores and in the yards where I walk by.  I like the happy faces.  I like picking up leaves as I walk along, there are so many different colours and shapes.  Every single leave is just a little different and today I found a bright red one; and as I walk along with the bunch of leaves in my hand  I remember the fun time as a child raking the leaves and then jumping in them. 

I missed seeing Morgan and Ben play soccer and I miss their laughter and bright eyes.  Carol did not drive out because her cold has come back again.  Instead I went to the memorial service with dad and they played this song "Forever Young".  Seeing the pictures of Phylis when she was young look so much like me.

Sandra wants to win the best costume prize at work again this year.  It sounds like they have great fun.  She will be off to the dentist wearing her costume so that should cheer her dentist up because both of them have been discouraged with her progress.

One of the miracles in life is the fact that in our hearts we can be forever young!  We do not have to wait for heaven but we can experience the wonder and joy of heaven in our own lives everyday.

The days I think of as ordinary have a luminous quality if I stop to appreciate how bless I am!

THE VISIT

They all made and it is always good to have our children together.

    The time goes so quickly

and then Rick heads back to Chase and Carol is on a mission to pick up somethings from the health food store.  Sandra and I head in to prepare the church stuffing, which I knew she would think had to be the rel stuff, not a store bought mix.  She came with her receipe and her spices and was so quick chopping it all up.

We had a problem when we took it to the church as it was all locked up.  I am sure the morning crew need a rest or where being replaced.  But we were able to take it to a friend who lives near by and was taking her buns over later.  It is funny I do not like cooking but I still cut out receipes!

My neighbor Rosanna, had asked me for coffee but there was no time for a visit yesterday.  She is so lonely and I feel bad for her.  I will make time this week to visit her and our friend Shirley.  Loneliness is a part of being human and can be a time to recreate new interests if one has the energy to do so.  But when loneliness changes to depression, we can lose sight of our own value and strength. 

At the Sylvia Hotel where we had lunch after dad's eye exam there was a group of elderly women, about eight of them and yes there was one man.  They were eating but not talking to each other, but as they left they stopped at our table to talk to us.  They liked my pink sweater and that was all the excuse they needed.  Before it seemed like they were a group of lonely people but now they chatted happily to us as they left.

Looking at the moon as we come home from having Chinese food ,as we had not gotten our tickets in time, I feel like heaven is smiling on the earth.  It has been a good day and I am completely happy!   

PROMISES

When we started out to drive into Vancouver for dad's eye appointment the day looked very promising.  Then crossing the bridge we drove right into a patch of fog.  I could feel the chill in the car.  What happened to the promising day.  As quickly as it appeared before us it was gone.  I had tried to take pictures in the moving car but it was not easy.

When we give our word and promise to do something it is so important that we keep it.  Dad has promised to help set up for the harvest dinner today and I have promised to make stuffing.  As a child I would tearfully promise to be good and  would often fail.  As an adult I promised myself that I would do my best to live as a Christian.  I have failed.  I am so thankful that God has promised to be merciful, forgiving and compassionate.

"Your failures may ultimately be as important as your success.  Failing means you had the courage to try."  God has promised in His Word to be a strength to the fainthearted and to lift us up when we fall.  I see the promises of scripture revealing the heart that beats even in mystery.

Have I discovered the plan that God has for my life?  Does He indeed have a plan?  I know as a parent I had great hopes for the future of each one of my children but because of their personalities and the things they had to learn by making their own choices in life I would have no more influence on them as they left home.

We all strive to be true to our words and I am sure my children would like to know that I am proud of them, and I am, because I wanted my parents to be proud of me.

I have a little box called a Promise Box that I bring out every once in awhile.  It was a gift from a very special person named Pearle.  She has been a great encourager to me and still is to this day.

Promises are soul food.  Could I be a spiritual person without the promises of scripture?  No, I would be adrift in a world of conflicting values.  The promises of God are things that will happen as I do my part.  I need to be discerning with humility and gentleness.

"Show me Your Ways O Lord, teach me Your paths [for me] and guide me in Your Truth and teach me.  For You are God, my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."  Psalm 25:4,5

Salvation means wholeness through the healing love of the Holy Spirit.

BLACK AND WHITE

Life is full of things that seem to be contrasting.  There is birth and death.  There is heaven and hell.  There is good and evil.  There are angels and demons.  There is light and darkness.  There is love and hate.  There is joy and sorrow.  There is war and peace.  There is loneliness and there is community.  There is work and there is play.  There is sleep and their is awake.  There is creation and there is evolution.  There is truth and their is lies.  There is justice and injustice.  There is the rich and the poor.  There is marriage and there is divorce.  There are believers and non-believers.  The list is endless.

Yet out of all this diversity there needs to be a coming together with the willingness to make this world a better place for all.  As a child I would say that I was quiet and shy while my brother was talkative and noisy.  Over the years each of us go through different stages as we discover the real person that we were called to be. 

Although within I have a soft heart I have also have learned to be tough and unyielding and mean spirited.  I think that as I grew I discovered conditional love, disappointing friendships, goals I could not meet and life did not end in "happily ever after" like the fairy stories did.  I always wanted the hero to win and for there to be peace. I wanted to be a loving person but like St. Paul often found the good that I wanted to do I did not do. 

I have prayed for harmony that can come only through the listening soul.

I searched for friends who would allow me to be myself even when we disagreed.  I value being heard and treated as an equal.  I have done my part in looking after my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and I think we should share the load when there is work to be done.  I realize that I have my own weaknesses and that I am vulnerable just like every other human being on this earth.  No one likes to say I am sorry I was wrong but I see that as a sign of strength not weakness.

 There are many areas of life that are beyond our understanding and we may never figure out.  I know I need to be forgiven at times and that I also need to forgive.  Unforgiveness just causes depression and anger.  I have always believed in the healing power of prayer and that each one of us has a gift of healing expressed in our own way.  Prayer helps me to release some of my own negative emotions and calm my heart.  Stress is the cause of so much illness as the body has a mind of it's own and tries to get our attention. 

"Create in me O Lord a clean heart and a steadfast spirit renew within me".  This is a process of opening to the light of goodness so that less of the darkness consumes me. 

                                                    I feel so very small at times.
.
Life is not black and white but they can compliment each other.  I am reminded to grieve with the heavy hearted and rejoice with the joyful and to feel compassion for many bear wounds as deep as those of Christ crucified.  We live in a world of confusion and poverty and violence and war and many are victims.  Maybe in some small way I can feel the suffering of others as I lift them up in prayer.  Maybe we can bring peace to where we are and that is a start!

HOW FAR

Another beautiful day for a walk, always finding something to focus my attention away from the ordinary demands of the day so that I can just enjoy this time. I never know for sure how far I am going to walk on any given day.  On a good day I go twice as far.  Sometimes it depends on the bladder or just a little less energy. I never know the reaction I will get when I say hello to other walkers, the dog walkers, the moms with children, the young with an elderly parent on their arms, the two handicaped ladies, one smiles and one frowns.  Then there was the elderly East Indian gentleman who ran away from me probably thinking I was too friendly.   But no matter what. . . . .

LOVE goes with me.

Even the most knowledgeable people are limited in the distance that their knowledge can take them.  None of us can see into the future but we can prepare ourselves by learning all we can about being healthy and finding contentment  and happiness to keep us going. Where does the energy come from on the good days and where does it go when we feel too tired to keep going.  Our bodies seem to know more about us than we do and will tell us when to slow down. 

Jesus said: "Be healed"'  I know that I have scars, physically and emotionally, but I know that Jesus heals.

 As I drove home from White Rock the other day I was just two blocks from home when a car swerved in front of me.  People who do a lot of driving are used to this happening but I quickly put on my brakes and fortunately we did not hit.  I think there have been times for all of us when we look and fail to see a car coming.  We just do not see it.
There are times we fail to see the beauty around us or even see the person we are sharing our lives with.
I wonder if we could see and trust that there is a deeper meaning to our lives.  I think of other things I value like faithfulness, thankfulness, courage, politeness, honesty, fairness, respect, respect for your elders, effort and perseverance, and a cheerful sense of humour, an openness to the spiritual, forgivness and mercy.

Calm in the face of change and no matter how far I go,  it is the smiles I can give to others as I walk that gives my life meaning and maybe blesses someone else.  Walking is only one way we travel in this lifetime and we each have our own journey.

I have to admit that no matter how far I have travelled during the day coming home and just relaxing gives me the most pleasure.  I guess this is another sign of getting older!  Gracefully I hope!

CHALLENGES

I believe that realizing how very human we all are is a challenge.  I make mistakes, I lose things and I certainly forget things.  I need help to face my inadequacies but also the freedom to cry and to laugh; to be right and to be wrong.  My help does come from a source of gentle wisdom that prompts the spirit within me to reach out to others.

I think we all have similar values in life.
I value loving and meaningful relations which start with family.
I want to grow intellectually as I continue to grow in a deeper understanding of myself and others.
I need to be helpful and to do some acts of service with kindness and caring.
I find a spiritually enriched life the one that suits me best.

Theresa of Avila, a nun, used to say determination is the preeminent quality anyone must have who wants to find God.  God that word that can be so misused, as an exclamation of surprise or a cry for help.  God can be used as the authority by which we justify our actions.  I pray to the One who I call God,  with a trusting heart that i am heard and that I can bless others as I pray for them.  I believe in the God that Jesus spoke about as father of us all who loves unconditionally.

Words cannot express what the soul experiences.  I am completely aware of my humanness that I do not like to be criticized and that the words of others can offend me and that I have to learn not to let them to take root in my heart but like my bulbs that I just planted, let them disappear.  During the day I will feel many emotions that are both positive and negative.  Many worries come to my mind and I am thankful that as I pray the burden is lifted.

I talked to my brother on the phone last night.  He is a great believer in prayer.  He prayed for my family.  His wife Traudl is facing a lot of health problems at this time especially with her legs and knees.  She is hoping she will be able to continue skiing this year, as this has given her so much joy.  They cannot take the long hikes like they use to do and like dad and I they are slowing down.

One of the blessings of getting older is that pleasant memories of the past become more alive.  I am thankful for my mom and dad and my brother.  I am thankful for the days when life was simpler  and joy could be experience in the small things of everyday.

GOOD INTENTIONS

We all have good intentions as we plan our days.  So many things I intend to do but just do not get around to doing.  I intended to pick up some bulbs a friend had ready to give me on the way home from church but completely forgot.  I had thought I would do some planting in the garden as the day was turning out so nice and warm.  Instead we enjoyed a visit at lunch with Sandra and Carol eating the last of the turkey left-overs made into a curry.  Rick had intended to stop by on the way into Vancouver on a work trip but he sounded over-tired and stressed as he phoned to say he would not be able to do this.

Dad had intended to do the washing up but when Glen came by they took off to Cole's soccer game.  So by the time everything was cleaned up I was ready for a nap, which is always a good thing.

Life is full of good intentions but like the wind that scatters the fallen leaves in front of me as I walk our good intentions get blown away.  Mostly they are replaced by the unexpected that bring us laughter and sharing our time in different ways.  It was good I did not plant my bulbs where I had planned because I was shown a better place.  Both Sandra and I have high hopes that next year the garden will be at it's best.  I find it hard to wait.

There was good energy at our church service that helps lift the spirits.  I am so thankful for our church family and yes my own family.  I thank God because I believe there is an all-powerful spirit that is real and yet an enduring mystery.  I have to keep trusting that there are good people in this world and that we will someday be able to conquer cancer, and violence and hatred and injustice and world hunger.

  I am reminded to do what I can where I am and with what I have.  I have lots of good intentions.

LIGHT OF LEARNING

An educated person can be seen as an enlightened person.  The seals of many colleges are designed with pictures of lamps, candles, stars and the rays of the sun.  For the Christian Jesus the Christ is seen as the Light of the World, the source of both spiritual and intellectual enlightenment.

The doctrine of the inner light formed the heart of the Quaker movement which was started by George Fox [1624-1691].  A cobbler who abandoned his job to embark on a spiritual quest to find God.  He found as he wander from one religion to another, from one church to another; God grew more distant when he took part in outward rituals.  Until he experienced the light of Jesus in his own heart he had been assuage with doubts.  He would start a group called the Quakers based on this inner light available to all.

Where is God?  The Quakers responded, look within.

Others would follow similar truths both in the knowledge of history, science, law, architecture music and mathematics that would help illuminate the scriptures.  Studying was a religious vocation for a nun who took the name Juana Ines de la Cruz.    Her approach was from the bottom up; secular learning led to holy understanding.  She studies while continuing a life of prayer and devotion.  She was forced to give up her scholarship when the church frowned upon her. 

Where is God?  Pick up a book-any book-and read.

There would be others who would discover the Light beyond reason and this light would brighten through unfolding experiences.  Methodists refer to this spiritual process as sanctification or growing in a life of holiness.  John Wesley [1703-17910 was a founder of this disciplined way of life.  He like others before him and even today difficulty with authority.  The light of liberty would strengthen the fight against slavery.

Where is God?  In the transformed heart of those born again.

President Jefferson would see religion as a major grounding for, or instrument of, virtue and morality.  He believed that the Christian religion "divested of the rags in which the clergy have enveloped it, is a religion of all others most friendly to liberty, science and the freest expansion of the human mind."  He turned away from the doctrine of the Trinity, Jesus's divinity and the miracles and focused instead of those part of the Bible which he considered to withstand the light of reason.  This I understand is the basis of the Unitarian Church.

Where is God?  The deists answered, in a life of reason and good works.

In 1836 Ralph Waldo Emerson published an article titled "Nature" positing the idea that human beings could discover God in unity with nature.  This would contradict eighteenth century Christianity thinking that God  was found in orderliness and harmonies.  Did God not walk with Adam and Eve in the garden?  Where is the sense of the poetic?  Transcendentalists would begin a free-flowing community of free thinkers that would include poets, novelists, popular writers and social activists.

Where is God?  The transcendentalists answered, in the subjective unity of the self with nature.

As a nineteenth-century theologian Horace Bushnell [1802-1876] contends that all forms of Christian faith contain partial truth that need to be seen as equally true.  Bushnell believed that "embracing the opposite" would revel wisdom and holiness through faith-filled unity.  He depicted universal truth as harmony that allow everyone a voice.

Where is God?  The light can be found in comprehending the harmonies of the whole.

Even when we sees ourselves as doubters there is a compelling sense of the person of Jesus worthy of both our love and our obedience to his teachings.

Where is God?  The doubters answered: Who knows?  Bust this is what makes belief an art.

These quotes are from "A People's History of Christianity" by Diana Butler.

Take time to be holy and healthy and happy as you find your light!

CONVERSION

I kike many others struggle to understand the minds and thoughts of those who wrote the Bible.  Right now the leaves are converting from green to beautiful colours of orange and red.  I have to change where I am standing to try to take a picture and I am finding that I need to change my position on scripture to continue to allow the conversion experience to become a spiritual reality that helps me to grow closer to God's love.

As I look back on my life I see the years when I was a student so anxious to learn and to become independent.  Then there were the years of marrying and raising a family so full of activity and then letting the children start off in their own journeys.  Along the way and now that a lot of responsibilities have been completed we reach out to help others.

I feel that I am in the final stage where the spiritual teachings that I began with now return to me with deeper meaning.  Life has had its moments of despair and I realize that nothing in the visible world can bring the stability of lasting happiness.

I am free from having to please others and find that the spiritual and emotional strength that has helped me overcome will be my salvation to the end.  But even with that said I am more and more aware of the abuse that endangers our lives as we fail to take care of our environment. 

Jane Goodall writes in her book, "Reason For Hope", that most of us privileged human beings live in a cocoon of material well-being and until we see our need of a strong inner being to nourish us and complete us we will continue to forget to care for the environment which includes our family, our community and our world."God is right in front of us, rather in the unique "beingness of another creature."

The best conversion experience is one that never leaves us and is a part of who we are!

REFORMATION

The evenning sky promises another beautiful clear day.

Reform means to take a new shape or to form again.  Reform happens in religion when there is reinterpretation and renewed inspiration. This keeps it alive and revelavant to our day as it  goes through reformation that helps us understand words and stories written so many ages ago with certain goals and attitudes and beliefs in their God.  A god of war that stood on their side because they were right and their religion gave them superiority over others. 

I am hoping for another nice day to go out to do some shopping.

It has been brought to my attention that my lamp shades in my funny T.V. room do not match.

  I am changing all my lamps around but maybe I should just change the lamp shades

 but they are very expensive.

 

I am hoping for another warm and sunny day as I want to first go out and take some pictures. 

Reformation has been a power force for change in the Christian faith and as we read the Bible we will come across controversies and contradictions.  Either you have a religion that is black and white or you have a religion that is built on diversity.  Religious diversity that has ethical standards and that is open to change can be like a pathway toward what is the complete picture.  Our goal is to live all of life to a higher plane and allow the spirit of God to reveal to us the light that is hidden in the very human words written ages ago. 

Reformation started way back in the time of Ezra, at the beginning of the fourth century, when he was sent by the Persian King as the minister of Jewish affairs with a mandate to make the miscellaneous teachings that were credited to Moses into what became the Torah.  The Persians were reviewing the legal systems of all their subjects to make sure they were compatible with the security of the empire.  Ezra would then work out a satisfactory reformation between Mosaic law and Persian jurisprudence.  At this time the Jews were in complete malaise and under the influence of foreign standards even though they had rebuilt their second temple at Mount Zion.  They need spiritual discipline that was based on the "law of Moses".  Ezra was a scholar who would interpret the scriptures.

"Torah study was not an academic exercise but a spiritual quest"  This quest would be open to reinterpretation.  Revelation had not happened once and for all time, but it was an on going process"

This is from the book :The Bible" by Karen Armstrong.

Jews had started in the third century to translate their scriptures into Greek, the project probably initiated by the Alexandrian Jews themselves but over the years it acquired a mythical aura.  The Greek King of Egypt so impressed by the Jewish scriptures that he, Ptolemy Philately's, that he wanted a translation for his library.  So six elders from the twelve tribes worked on the text to preserve it forever :imperishable and unchanged".  It was believed that the translators were inspired.

Until Philo [70 BCE to 45BCE] a Jew who came from a wealthy family in Alexandria changed the word into allegories of divine logos [reason] that carried over the essence of the Semitic tales  They were questing after wisdom and would base their on allegory on numerology and etymology; transform their Homeric stories into moral philosophy.  Names took on deeper symbolic meanings.  Adam, became nous [natural reason] and even though the literal meaning was still taken seriously there was deeper meanings that changed the physical or dimensional dimension and were transformed into myths.  Real happenings that had a spiritual dimension that transcended time.  "Unless they were liberated from their historical content and became a spiritual reality they could have no religious function."  There would be a central thread that ran through all the readings.  Philo wrote four theses on Cain and Abel coming to the conclusion that the main theme was the battle between love of self and love of God.  Cain wanted to keep everything for himself while Abel was willing to submit and honor God; this resulting in anger in Cain and he destroyed his brother but was really destroying the love of God in his own heart.

GOALS

Ben and grandpa Larry had a goal to make a bird house and they did.  It is good to have goals that challenge us at times.  Yesterday was one of those days that I did not make my goal of a complete walk but after coming home and resting felt much better and was able to do my visiting at the Nursing Home.  I am getting to know the smokers who are sitting outside the front door when I arrive.  They are a cheerful group.

One of my goals is to stop and appreciate each moment of the day.  Often I find my mind full of worries about the past or about the future.  Prayer can help me to achieve moments of timelessness when a verse of scripture like this one "As thy days, so shall thy strength be" help me to relax and be content.  Also as you pray for others you become aware of how small your problems are compared to others.  I have so much to be thankful for and all I have to do is to be more trusting.

Every morning I am awake when it is still dark but I am amazed how quickly the light appears.  I am amazed also how  the time flies by as I sit at my computer.  The only sound is the soft hum of the computer and the occasional car starting up outside.

I glance at the paper as I pick it up and see the grieving picture of a mom and dad pleading for help to find the one who murdered their daughter.  Is human cruelty an acquired trait?  Good and evil will always be a part of the human existence.  I believe that a good thing about Christianity is the goal of being ethical.  We use reason and faith to help us choose and act upon what we believe.

Science and religion need not be incompatible but two different ways of looking at life.  Science wants to know and gather facts while faith that flows from the religious soul is open to trusting there is a connection between us and the presence of goodness.

 Like the gentle wind that blows freshness into a stuffy room God is real.
 Children take delight in every small bug and stone, puddles of water and all the things of nature that we         soon  take for granted.  I am reminded to nurture this wonder and connectedness to the natural.

This helps us to reconnect to the spiritual life.
And to disconnect to the "circling thoughts", the unremitting flow of thoughts that distract us. 

We are a part of the natural world and have a responsibility to try to preserve it.  It has become so easy to waste and throw good things away because it is just apart of our lifestyle.  We always want bigger and better,A pre-Columbian myth holds that two peoples inhabit the North and the South of our continent.  The people of the eagle, in the north are very cerebral, inventive, and materialistic; while to the south, the people of the Condor live on the level of the spirit and the heart.  I think that we all battle these two opposites within us and maybe the goal is to strengthen the side of you that is weaker. 

DELIGHTFUL

This time of year seeing the sun brighten up the morning walk makes it delightful.  Then it was off to Vera Faders for lunch with the Jetlag Bible group.  She had made several phone calls to check on the ingredients that she put into the hearty soup she made.  We were all talking about the miracle of the minners being resced.  We are starting a study of the whole Bible but although we have a study guide we wander off the topic a lot.

There always things that come out of the readings that stir up a response within me.  Reading about the history of the past and all the discoveries that are being dug up and examined in the earth has strengthened my faith in the scripture.  How the world was created is beyond our comprehension but believing that God created man with his own hands out of the dust of the earth as his final act that was completed with Eve; gives humanity a dignity and a purpose as the very life of God has been breathed into their souls.  We have been given minds to discover the truth and the ability to make choices and the awareness of our vulnerability.

We talked about some of the beautiful places that awaken in us delight in the beauty that surrounds us.  We laugh a lot which helps us not get stuck in being dogmatic and rigid.  I am so thankful for Luther who failed to find God's love in a monastery with fasting and prayer and denial of comforts.  He left to begin a critical study of the Bible and to find out what the church had kept hidden.

Reading the scripture for it's transforming power that was to be applied to our everyday walk with God allows the creative spirit within each one of us to emerge.  We are stirred to keep thinking about what we are reading and find what opens the spirit within us.

Words are powerful tools and the scriptures create a love and appreciation for language that can be poetic and full of imagination if we can discover what inspired the writers but also realizing they had their own interpretations of life as it was being lived around them.  Stories of the past would be added to  until it became written down. 

The gift of faith helps us unwrap what we are reading.

I came home and dad and I had an early supper on our front porch in the sunlight. The beginning of the end of the delightful day.

God in Genesis 1 was delighted with all of creation and desired to share his delight with us.

BRAVERY

My last roses continue to bloom as the days grow darker and colder.  One of the things I love best about the fall is all the colours and the stillness as nature takes time to rest.

When I went to bed last night the first three miners had been rescued.  After 69 days underground in the humid darkness these brave men are being brought to the surface in a specially-made steel cage.  Their families had been praying faithfully and waited anxiously for their loved ones to be reunited to them.  I cannot imagine how those miners endured being in that torture chamber but I believe that their faith in God's presence with them helped them. It was a miracle that they had been found and also that they would be able to communicate with their loved ones in the days to come.  They were told the rescue would take months.

In the meantime they would face death together.

This reminded me of how in the past i had read about a young woman who faced death and indeed did die in the concentration camp of Auschwitz.  Her name is Etty  Hillsman.   She would be sent to Auschwitz in a packed railway car sitting on a rucksack with her mother and father and brother.  She scribbled a few words on a postcard and released it out a crack not knowing if it would ever be found or reach the person it was addressed to.  The words that she wrote before her journey there and her words that have been saved from her writings are truly inspiring   She had during the years previous kept a diary not knowing what her fate would be in the uncertain times as a Jew living in the harsh and fearful world of the Third Reich.  She wanted with all her being not to hate as she saw it as a soul sickness.  She was a Jew living in Holland in 1941.  In the fall of 1940 the first series of laws were passed designed to set Jews apart.  All Jewish-owed enterprises were to be registered as were all Dutch Jews.  This caused poverty to become the first stage to their distruction.  She would see her favorite professors arrested or harassed into excile or suicide.

She has to face the reality of death and decides not to waste her energies fearing or denying or evading it.  This is how she discovers freedom even though there is great desolation all around her.  She was pressed by friends to go into hiding but refused.

  These were published in English in 1984 as "An Interrupted Life".  The words she wrote were a therapeutic tool that changed her life from one of playfulness to one of prayerfulness,  to find strength for herself and for the other lives she impacted. 

"Slowly but inexorably while the world around her was falling to pieces, Etty moved into a state of grace.  She had been at odds with organized religion bu through inspirational literature and spiritual practices she would experience "the inward tug of God"  This was before she was sent to Auschwitz and when she was sent there her faith strengthened her and she was able to feel God's presence even there.

 She lived out the belief that is true to my heart that religion is a tool that can help us live with compassion; aware of our humanness but also aware of our need for holiness.
Etty had struggled with depression and mood swings that would cause her to experience writer's block.

Although she had in her past used the word God she thought it was primitive and primordial, "a makeshift construction".  I feel that way too but one uses the words that express the mystery of life in a term that people can identify in some way.  We all may view God in different ways and in different forms but there is an energy that fills the emptiness and feeds the soul that nothing else can do. 

Etty wrote: "I try to look things straight in the face, even the worst crimes, and to discover the small, naked human being amide the wreckage caused by man's senseless deeds. . . . .I am no fanciful visionary, God. .
I try to face up to your world, God, not to escape from reality into beautiful dreams."

This woman of sharp intelligence and irreverence whose greatest desire was to touch the world through her writing.  She had experience relationships and viewed sexuality with matter-of-fact humour.  She was not searching for God but for freedom in her life as a woman who could make her own choices.  She hoped to be one of a group she called emancipated women.

She learned in one of her relationships with a Jewish divorced man, father of two daughter, a successful business man as  he tried to help others find courage in the face of suffering and he viewed his gifts as a sacred trust.  She was able to turn, with difficulty, from a critical, rational atheist, to one who believed and it was her faith in the end that gave her the courage to live.

This is a picture from the T.V.  showing them surrounding the 32nd miner being rescued from the mine in Chile.
{I am writing this very quickly after a late start because I know Sandra will look on her computer as soon as she gets to work and I want to have this posted.}

OPINIONS

This is Carol and Morgan talking on Skype to Ken, Melina ,Matt and Jassy

We all came hungry and happy to be together at the home of Sandra and Randy.  Randy was the happiest because his son Mich was here for a few days visiting.  Dinner was absolutely perfect and everything tasted so good.  But it was not long before we all started airing our opinions about the state of the world and then about what type of school one should send your child to.
Theresa has chosen a school for Ben that she drives to each day because the teachers and the parents are committed to education.  Dad see the disadvantage is that he does not know the children in his own area which because they live close to down-town there are not as many as if they lived in a sub-divsion and a cul-de-sack.  As parents we all want the best for our children.  Times have changed very much since we were free to place outside for hours and roam far and wide; especially when we were able to ride bikes.  I was taught not to talk to strangers, maybe I should remember that more on my walks, but there was not a big concern about this.

Over the years words have been used to articulate our beliefs and our traditions.  A lot of communication is done by the writen word, like the newspaper, magazines, books etc.  Even the words we hear in our songs stay in our minds at times. 

We express our feelings and our needs in words as we strive to articulate our inner life with our outward action.  I am what I have observed and been taught and have absorbed especially from the books I read.
What does it really mean when the Bible describes Jesus as the living word?  Living means that it is alive and his words have the power to transform the soul.  Living words inspire us and embody the spirit.  I am not alone in wanting to find authenticity.

There is a current belief that we cannot trust those in authority in govnerment and in religion and this is causing erosion in many of our churches.  We want to be able to express our mind in all matters and this can cause hurt feelings at times.  At least I admit that my feelings have been hurt by what people have said to me.  Like many other things I need to let it go and get over it.

Universities I believe were started to teach theology but have branched out into history, science, philosoply, human behavior, the law and rights of individuals and society.  We have been encouraged to learn from the past but be open to a new future.

I think I grew up in a wonderful time and at times I wish my grandchildren could have the same freedom and joy of being a child that I experienced.  I feel that they are growing up too fast and they know so much more about life than I did.  Reading has the potential for them as it did for me to broaden my life.  I especially enjoyed reading to my children and my grand-children.  I find it impossible to walk by a book store and I am so thankful for libraries where I can take out twenty or more books.

Right now I have a pile of books and I know I cannot possibly read them all.  The book I got about Thankfulness was far to wordy and complicated.

Errors in Holy Scripture?  The word "metanoette" in Mathew 3:2 was translated as do penance which lead to confession of sin but when we read it to me repent we see that it means an inner change of action that will bring us salvation.  This was the whole debate that Luther started in 1517 as he challenged the church of his day.

Words are spiritual and political and there are politics in all our churches and this is why there are problems.
At times I think I have the answer to solve some one else's problems but I really do not if I have no idea of their experiences and the woundedness of their souls.

BEING THANKFUL

I was not thankful, in fact I was miserable.  Our second thanksgiving was a can of beans and maybe an apple.  The day was cold damp and dreary and I was missing my family a lot.  I had been learning to make our  money stretched but this holiday came just before payday and there just was no extra.  Our precious little dog Dusty had also been run over and he had been such good company for me.

I had things to be thankful for, our healthy baby boy, a car, your dad had a job and we had a place to live.  We went for a drive after our dinner of beans and I remember gazing at the houses I saw with the windows all steamed up and groups of happy people inside.

One thing I have learned if you want to be unhappy compare yourself with others.

I knew that I could trust that life would improve not only because of faith in God
 "a personality that peaks behind the mystery of the unknown"
but also trusting that with hard work and using the skills we had been given our lives would improve.  I do not know where I got that quote from but I trust that there is meaning in it for others as well as myself.  Learning to trust is something I am doing.

Years later our son Rick would cook dinner for us and we throughly enjoyed it!

I am thankful for all the good things we have in our life now.  Just to be with family today will be a blessing.
Good health, good friends and the ability to give to others whether it is a small gift to the food bank or being able to cheer some one else's life up with a visit and receiving their appreciation.

Yes, that was our worst thanksgiving and the one I remember so strongly.  It has been replaced by ones of great joy, like when Sandra and Randy surprised us by getting married on Thanksgiving Day.  What a surprise!  We were in their home in Fort Saskatchewan and who should arrive to join our family group but a lady marriage person.  Perfect timing because all the family was there.  Randy's parents and children and Sandra's children.  I was so happy that these two had found each other and would now share the rest of their lives committed to each other.

Being thankful for what one has is good for the soul.  As a Christian I thank to .  God for each day, a gift of grace. 

The parable of the good samaritan is one that teaches us to see those less fortunate than ourselves and not be so busy with our activities that we forget those less fortunate.  I admire those who will be making dinner for the homeless and I am reminded that it is the little acts of kindness that people ofen remember.

I miss the grandchildren and my children who will not be with us today but I am happy that their lives are going well.  Dad and I are thankful to have each other.  I am trying to take my cell phone with me so he won't worry when he does not know where I am.  So in Chapters he phones to find me in the store and I am right behind him. 

The other lesson that I am learning is to give up trying to control.  I always have an ides or a plan for my day but if it does not work out I am still grateful especially for the unexpected surprises.

An open heart, a generous spirit, a little extra in my purse to give away, being thoughtful and kind make gratitude much easier. 

I am thankful that as a Christian I walk in grace, which is unmerited and abundant and flows continually into our lives and all I need to do is receive it..
I am truly thankfun for all the prayers that have been answered!
Happy Thanksgiving all!

DOG DAYS

We

We are a family that loves our animals and Sandra, in this picture, is coaching the dogs to get into the bath on the truck.  Susan, has come to wash the dogs and Randy and I and dad are standing by watching the fun.

Over the years we have had all sorts of pets big and small.  We do not have any animals right now and we are content to feed the neighbors dog and welcome a visit from the cat next door.

I am hoping for a better day today.  I have had a rash of shingles that are extremely itchy break out on my back.  I think that was why I was feeling so chilled.  Fortunately I have some pills from when I had it before which stops the spread and eases the discomfort.

I had poor judgement yesterday when I kept dad waiting and worrying at Zellers.  I thought I had time to walk down and over to the bank and still be there to meet him in time.  It took longer than I thought and was very upsetting for dear old dad!

Dad is trying to tape a program on a disk for a friend and now the T.V. does not work.  Very frustrating.

Today is a new day with new possibilities.  We will go to church and enjoy the music, the teaching and our friends. 

I am continuing to read the history of religion and finding it helpful to my understanding of the Bible.  There came a time when tilling the fields became a ritual that replaced the hunt and this is the setting for the story of Cain and Abel.  Change is not easy especially when we are sure that we know what God wants. We see the power of jealousy so strong it destroys.  This theme is carried out in many of our modern novels even today.

We want to be free of our negative emotions and experience healing that lifts us and frees us momentarily beyond ourselves.  Today we are more aware of the need for our interior world to feel the powerful presence of holiness; but this is not an easy thing to accomplish.  We may have moments of awe and wonder but most of the time we are more aware of our own humanness.

Yesterday as I was walking I met a lady covered in black with only two little eyes showing.  Usually I just kinda look away but I decided to smile and say hello.  She not only said hello but asked and how are you in the kindest voice.  I do not know if she chooses to dress this way or if it is a religious obligation or if it is of her own free will or forced upon her. 

As long as we are unwilling to learn from one another and see a person as a wife and mother, sister or daughter just like me; we continue to breed fear and anxiety.