OUR WORDS ARE WISER THAN WE ARE!

AFTER A NICE DRIVE - A HAPPY LUNCH WITH OUR LITTLE GROUP

When I read this, early this morning, I was amazed by how true this is. We try our best to communicate with words but too often we do not understand each other. A negative word stays with us all day and our soul wrestles with the doubts that come into our minds. Words can bless or curse and for that reason become powerful weapons.

As a child my faith was very real to me and still is to me today. Children find it easier to trust and believe and have lively imaginations. Adults seem to want proof and evidence as we begin to search for meaning based on facts. Religion has a language all it's own that can be difficult to translate; and even difficult for there to be an agreement about the meaning of words.

I believe that I am a Christian not because I believe the dogma of a specific church but because I believe that Jesus is the "living" word made flesh. Religious words become sacred even though they have ancient origins and may have accumulated layers of meaning.

We drove out to the Chilliwack airport and had lunch there with Theresa, Ben and Morgan. I had trouble hearing what Theresa and dad where saying so felt a little left out. It was easier to colour and talk with Ben and Morgan. I do not understand all that Morgan is saying but I love to hear her talk. Ben did not have much to say about what he had learned at school that day but most children are like that. They can be very enthusiastic and want to tell you something or else they can be very silent and shrugged their shoulders.

Sandra brough me a video about Yoga and how it can help control pain and even learning to relax is a good help. I will begin today.

I think that words have a quality that I would describe as soul-energy. Soul is the name for "the unifying principle, power, or energy that is at the centre of our being. To be in touch with soul means going back to the sacred source; for me I call that force God, the site of life-releashing energy, the activating force of life, the god-grounds."

To be grounded is thought of as a good thing. To me it means to put roots down into the unknowable and when nourishment comes there also comes the beginnings of knowing.

WAITING

We were waiting for Sandra to drop by yesterday. Was I suppose to reply?

I had a good visit at the Nursing Home and I am wondering if anyone has a cat who would like to go with me. I am reading Kate a cute story about a library cat. She really misses her cat.

I was feeling so good yesterday that I was sure the healing prayer the group prayed over me on Wed. night had healed me. It is such a beautiful experience of being loved as people gather around and annoint you with oil and love you with their prayers. I laughed as I said to Larry just after I got my perscription now I am healed? I know that I had spiritual and emotional healing.

Larry talked to Ron on the phone; he had become ill in Mexico and is happy to be doing better and to be at home in Salt Springs.

I love walking in the snow but it can be icy so I am glad all looks clear today.

Kim and Mike have asked us over on Sunday just to let everyone know in case they were thinking of asking us. We are available Sat.

Waiting to hear how Kenny and Melina and Matthew and Jessie are doing with the hot hot weather in Melbourne. I hope they found a cool place to sleep; as even two fans were not helping.

FAITH becomes alive when we study with others, who are searching for answers, like our Wed. afternoon group; and when we experience the blessings of the love that flows from scripture and following what Jesus did. Jesus does live in us all and it is so good to have a faith in a living person.

We all have some difficulty with the language of religion and the rituals of the church but when we are open and expecting beautiful things can happen. Our prayers do make a difference!

nO BLOG TODAY

UNIQUE

It is a wonderful thing that we are all so different and unique.

Here it is Stephan's birthday and it seems like just yesterday he was born. We are so happy for him and for Shawna and wish them a exciting year together.

Dad is up making his porridge, and believe me it is unique porridge, never quite the same.

Our home group has decided since we have not been going that they will come to us to-night. We are so fortunate to have such caring friends; and such a happy group. They are even bringing goodies.

It looks better for walking today so I will be off.

IT WAS A GOOD DAY

FOR SANDRA - MOM HAS ON THESE THING-MEES WITH SPIKES - GOOD

JUST AS MOM WAS LEAVING FOR WALK - MUCH MORE SNOW WHEN RETURNED

A gentle day that gave me time to read and walk and pray.

I was reading about King Hezekiah, who was under siege, everything he did he did in a spirit of prayerful worship. He told the people "Be strong! take courage! We have our God to help us and fight for us." He made the city strong and stirred up faith.

Yesterday as I thought about these words I had a picture. Remember when we were kids and people put mean signs on your back, yesterday I felt like I had a sign that said "be good to me".
Does God take sides? How can he if he loves us all. Bad things happen to good people but the faith that burns in the depth of our souls; will give us the strength to conquer.

"Awe, amazement, and sheer exhilaration that opens our eyes to the world of wonder and possibility restoring joy and hope.

Larry rode to the swimming pool on his bike. Three cheers!. Like the minister said on Sunday it is the small baby steps that are important. Relearning to do something is very hard.

We saw the movie Slum Dog and we almost left because it was sad and violent. We were glad we stayed because in the end it was love that conquered fear and evil.

The children were beautiful!

I talked to Matthew on the phone when he climbed up on his daddies leg. Today Ava is coming for a visit. We are so pleased to have them visit.

Our prayers are with Ron after his health failed in Mexico. We never know what the next day may bring us but as we love and support each other we all become stronger.

God, becomes alive and fills in the space that separates us. Buber teaches that religion comes from our yearning to be close to one another and to the source of all life.

Well I must go for a walk in the snow! ! !.

INSPIRATION

FINALLY A SUNNY DAY IN OUR BROWN BACK YARD

Feeling a little in need of inspiration

We had a good visit with Chris and he is taking things well.
Mary and Michael John have a wedding dress and a minister. Our good friend Doug Graves
will be marrying them. We will hear all the news from Edmonton I am sure from Sandra and Randy. Such brave souls to go to that cold Edmonton.
Thinking of Ron and Donna as they take the ferry home to Salt Springs today after Ron getting Sick in Mexico. That is one think we dread getting sick away from home.

Dad had a good talk with Melina and Kenny. Matthew was all tired out playing in the pool with daddy!

Thoughts from our group study

"I thought I had to surrender my questions, doubts, and intuitions of darkness in order to believe again. Increasingly I learned that the great spirits of religious tradition do not solve all questions but live in the questions and return to them again and again, not as a circle returns, but as an ascending spiral comes to the same place, each time at a higher level."

Each day has things that will challenge us and some that bring fear and uncertainty to cloud the awareness of who we are and who we are becoming. Love that is always with me helps me and gives me reassurance and hope.

Salvation is always a process. Inspiration will come in the words of faith and words from family and friends. The sunshine will help us all.

No we did not go to the Sylvia again I just liked this picture betteer.

HAVE WE FORGOTTEN?

Jesus lived by the Old Testament scripture but in reality he came to point to a reality beyond scripture. We look to the Bible in times of need and pain; thinking to find answers. But I think too often we may find confort but not the answers to our delima's.

I JUST COULD NOT GET THE PICTURE.

AN EIRIE PICTURE OF FOG AND A SAD TREE WITH WHITE FROST

Usually when I listen I like to take notes.

Listening to the man on "Ideas" on C.B.C. nothing seem to make sense except maybe the odd phrase. Utopia? History? Religion? Politics? Being tired at the end of the day does not help but nothing he was saying was inspiring me. There was no picture forming in my mind and very few words that I thought gee I would like to remember that. He talked about salvation but it totally confused me.

Reading at least gives you time to think and go back when you lose your train of thought.

Jesus told stories and from these stories you could find new ideas every time you read them.

Jesus said "Follow Me" and he laid down a pathway of words that we can still relate to today; and his words test your mind and touch your heart. Many try to teach us what he is really saying.

"If we take the gospel of Jesus seriously, then like Jesus we may end up risking it all."
-Peter J. Gomes.

THE JOYS OF LIFE

I love having some one to share my life witheven the cranky me.
I am so thankful for so many family and friends who love me.
Good memories come to mind at unexpected times.
I love the early morning.
There are so many kind people in this world.
I love the fact that when I fall, yes I had a bit of a fall yesterday, I can get up so quickly.
I love going to the Sylvia and especially the people we see there. Yesterday a grandmother and her daughter and granddaughter came. in. Sometimes it is old friends meeting there so happy to see each other.
I enjoy hearing the stories of others.
I love reading and I love listening to music.
I love God, the God who loves everyone.
I love mysteries.
I love quotes like
"The riddles of God are more satisfying
than the solutions of man." G. K. Chesterton

I love the beauty of nature that calls me to the wonder of prayer.
I love taking pictures.
I love Jesus, who has so much to teach me and makes the learning fun.

"GOD"

AFTER DROPPING OFF SANDRA AND RANDY - THROUGH THE FOG TO THE SYLVIA

When Stephan Harper gave his first speeches he was attacked for saying "God Bless Canada."
In his inaugural speech yesterdayObama quoted scripture, referred to the "God given promise of equality" and God's grace upon us. I like President Obama and I pray that he will remain faithful to his committments; to his wife and family and to God.

I like the poem where Poet Elizabeth Alexander said, "we walk into that which we cannot see".
It takes unity and co-operation to bring about change.

We all need to continually be aware of things that we need to change in ourselves. I want to be kinder and I know I need God's help. I am glad some people seem to like me because at times I think I do not always like me.That is why I need tons and tons of God's unconditional love.

It was good to have Oliver here for a visit and also visit with Carol and Panteli when they came to pick him up. Our young people are doing a lot of learning and maturing.

Dad is cleaning up his room and took some 200 slides in to be processed. He rode down to the Super Store and back. That is a big improvment.

I tried to walk and met him but did not have enough energy. Some days are just like that.

We are driving on a secret mission!

No news from Rick, is he here or there?

WITHOUT FAITH

Without FAITH it would be like my soul was lost sping in outer space.

I would feel so terribly disconnected to people; and there would be no healing for the ocean of sadness that overwhelms me at times. There would be no forgiveness and grace. There would be no reason to rejoice and be happy. There would be no security and definitely no peace. There would be no beauty, no miracles, no prayers to be prayed, no words from scripture to feed my spirit.

The philosopher William James wrote" there is a pit of insecurity beneath the surface of life." I think there is a drive that keeps pushing us to get more or do more.

I believe there is spiritual power greater than any worldly power that is reaching out to us.

Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I Am He who will sustain you
I have made you and I will carry you'"

Isaiah 43:1 Fear not, for I have redeemed you.

I MISS THE MORNING JOY!

It never use to bother me when the morning was dark and now it is gray with fog.
It just seems to be an effort these days.

The people; who we open our true selves to are being given a privilege of helping shape who we are. I love being around positive people who help me to be more positive myself. I do not want to be so adaptable that I lose my inner being.

We all need boundaries that not only define us and protect us but make us different.

Who needs God? We all do especially those like me
The vulnerable, the sensitive, the dreamer, the one who is a wee bit different than others.
I am not referring to the GOD of organized religion but the soul that is aware of the divine presence. The presence of pure joy that gives you goose bumps. The One who believes the best about you and sees your potential. The world would make religion a source of conflict and weakness]

The members of a West African Tribe tell a tale of the Sky Maiden. She was captured and her captor pleaded with her to agree to marry him. Three days later she return with a large box agreeing to be his wife. "You must promise never to look inside this box," she said.

The man became curious and hid and opened the box. His wife was sad"By opening my box you let all the sky of heaven I brought with me escape."

My greatest joy is sharing what is most precious to me; what is so real and fills my heart with joy and my life with meaning. My story comes from my heart that is overflowing with faith that no words can express.

I am counting my blessings!

Life is a spendid gift. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad! I AM

BOOKS

THIS IS THE PILE (ONE OF) THAT MOM KEEPS MOVING AROUND.

I love to read and it does not matter whether it is first thing in the mirning or the last thing at night. I like to have a pile, a very worthwhile pile to read!

I am looking for the God of grace and Holiness.

No, I will not find this in any one book but I find things that I question and ponder.

Jesus, will always be the way for me, there has come a spiritual bond between us. And I really think He makes sense. But I still read others.

Theresa just made me 10 beautiful bookmarks tht have already found their place.

Missed Chris, we had such good plans, so hope he found something nore enjoyable.

I AM ENJOYING LIFE!

OUR NEW TULIPS - THEY WILL NOT STAY LONG IN THIS PLACE

THE LAST OF OUR SNOW - WE HOPE!

THIS IS

HAPPY MOMENTS

IN THE STORE WINDOW - WAITING FOR THAT SPECIAL PERSON TO TAKE HER HOME!

Moments of happiness come unexpectedly and frequently.

Yesterday we drove from foggy Delta into the subshine of Chilliwack. On a sunny day you just take this as expected but yesterday it was a gift.
A visit fom our grand daughters, family or griends.
When you find something you have lost
Walking alone or with someone.
A beautiful smile when you go to visit someone
A phone call from someone you have not talked to in awile.
Finding some extra money you did not know you had.
Having a meal prepared for you.
A warm and gntle hug
Fresh morning air
Comments on my blog!
A good nights sleep
A good book
Quiet moments of prayer and praise.
A favorite program on T. V.

Seeing something in a new light.
Listening to the voice of the Spirit so positive and beautiful
Words of scripture that help us find the truth

"Rejoice and be exceedingly glad"
Joy comes from the Lord and is new every morning.

THE CHANGING DAY

The day bagan as usual as I was looking for something I lost, pills actually.
Thankdfully Mary and Michael John came to cheer us up. They had been to Colebrook Church to meet the minister. They had a gracious visit with Randy.

Dad talked about how much he would like our dear friend Doug Graeves to marry them even if it was in the church in Ladner. We had some past history because we took our children there before the church in Tswassen was built. They will have a visit with him next week. But it is their decision and they are doing such a great job planning their wedding.

I went to the nursing home to visit, two of my dear friends did not respond at all. I put my hand on them so gently and pray for Jesus to hold them close. I know they are ready to go. Then I played a game with the activity lady; such a beautiful young girl with so much love and patience for these dear people.

I drive home very slowly feeling the pain increasing and it almost feels like a sadness in my bones. It has been decided that our family is very unemotional but I think that if anyone has really read my thoughts that feelings of sadness often are included.

Tears are a gift to be shared! JESUS WEPT

Dad made supper and we watched some of the hockey game. I listened to my I-pod.

I read a little card one of the family gave me "A grandmother is someone who's thoughtful and dear. She's someone the family needs very much - someone they think the world of.
And I think the world of each one of them.

"Prayer is not a pious gesture at all.
It is a response to the One whose heart beats with ours.
--Joan Chitester

So I am off for a walk with Janet into the fog! What a brave soul she is and a great friend!

UNDAUNTED I WILL CARRY ON.

My main thought that came into my mind was that every story has two sides.

One of the things I love about Jesus was that he told such good stories; and I can relate to so many of them. He did not preach church doctrine or even Robert's Rules; which I never followed when I was chairperson of Council, I would stop and pray instead of resorting to the proper rules. I have never felt that he preached but that he knew all about human nature; and he always had a twinkle in his eyes when he was talking to ordinary down to earth people.

Now Robert's Rules of Order were writen by Martyn Robert an American army engineer who wrote these rules in 1876 to prevent overt violence in the raw terrain of peoneer society-making.

I like what the monks and myststics said "Peace of mind is a state of mind, a spiritual state waiting for us to find it. To undertake this journey we need to learn to step outside the ego self and find our spiritual self. Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath!

Sometimes the person who says yes they will go and help do not
Sometimes the person who said he had no intention of helping, changed his mind, and went to help.

Jesus laughs over our shoulders when we say no because he knows in the end that can change.
The doubter can become the greatest believer.

THE LIBRARIAN

The librarian was still smiling, but with a slightly glazed look in her eyes as I left. I arrive and noticed right away the D.V.D was missing from the case. I do try to be so careful but I swear a fog comes over my mind and I forget everything. Yesterday, I lost my pills, and they were in Larry's bathroom.

Anyway back to the library where I was positive the book that was on my list of take outs I had never seen and I was positive I had not taken it out. She graciously renewed it. Then I misplaced my card and I had left it at the automatic check-out and some kind soul had turned it in. Then as I am about to leave she says "O by the way your books have not been checked out. "yes they have I said that's why my card was left there" "Well dear, she said with a wooden smile. we will just check them out again to be sure.

I find librarians to be most helpful. Computers are evil things with minds of their own and do what every they feel like. Go away yellow line. Larry has juat fixed it! Very smart guy to have around; and he even does dishes.

BEAUTY

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR DAD LAUGH AT THE VIDEO LAST NIGHT.
I had a long walk and was looking for beauty and saw glimpses but it is an ugly time of the year with the snow so dirty. I met an old friend that use to walk over on the ridge and we had a little talk. But talking to people seems to be an effort. I thought I was coming down with something last night really felt miserable and I was so happy. How nice to be normal and catch a cold or something explainable; maybe people would understand.

Anyway I am thankful that my world is full of beautiful people..We adore our new little Matthew and we have the absolute best grandchildren, children and great grandchildren in the world.

Today I will be joining the bible study group at Colebrook where we spend a lot of time laughing.
In the evening we have our friends from Pamarama church who where so good to me when I had my partial lung removed. Dad is grumbling he may not go and it is not at our house. He enjoys himself once he is there. But he has really been a good sport going to many weird groups with me, I thought it was great fun and do not regret one experience no matter how bizarre
But the Holy Soirit moves in mysterious ways and boy I sure do not want to miss him. [now that should cause some comments]

Anyway I am planning to be sinful so Jane and I will drive instead of walk today. She is then off to Ant-Artic on Jan 24. I get bored and miserable and she plans trips.

I am hoping for a reson to go to Kamploops with my whole heart. Maybe even on to Edmonton.
Mary and Michael John will be meeting the minister from Colebrook where they would like to be married.

So I will continue to look for beauty that God begins with a smile!

A GOOD PRAYER

A prayer sent by Carol to be forwarded.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite passibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the Love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for everyone of us.

I have trouble being told to send it to 12 people but I am sure those who are meant to read it will.

IT IS NOT EASY BEING A WOMAN

I was born a woman so that should help to make it easier. I love to hear women laugh and enjoy each other.. I do believe we have more fun and we have amazing insights into life. As a child I did want to be a boy; I have never been overly enthusiastic about dressing up in uncomfortable clothes and having to be polite. Boys got away with a lot more.

Larry has now experienced the horrors of womanly hormones. He never wants to go back there again.

Right now I am having to refocus my life and let me tell you it an't easy. You were born to serve others, my mom did dad was extremely well looked after. But she was also able to take care of herself.

My mind tells me you do not rest until the job is done no matter how tired you are feeling. I have been extremely happy with this attitude to life even when it was difficult.

Having just gone through a crazy emotional time; when old wounds were reopened and silly me I thought they were safely put away under lock and key; I am admitting my need to change just a wee bit. I do not want to get carried away but somehow feel life has a balance and happiness will flow into the emptiness. But, I believe that all our pain has a message and we can choose to re-examine our life.

Today is foggy but I will be setting off soon for my walk. I may wear my new outfit and my white glove to stop traffic but I will also smile and wave. Today is a good day.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

"Our desire to love is stamped on our hearts before we are born.
You must not let life erase it! God knew you in the womb and He
planted your ability to love in your soul before you drew your first
breath.

You must nurture that seed, allowing it to grow strong within you.
You must love your family and love your neighbors above all.

God doesn't want you to love He Commands it"
-Father Bugingo from Uganda

TOO TIRED

DAD BOUGHT ME THIS SILLY THING TO WEAR ON MY WALKS


I'M SURE IT WILL MAKE THE TEN TON TRUCKS STOP !

I am too tired to write.

We had a fun evening with Chris and Belinda, Susan and Keith, Leah, Carol and Panteli.

We were celebrating Leah's graduation from her nursing course and catching up on family news.
Chris was quiet and grandpa was busy helping making tea etc. He did a great job cleaning up.

I had the camera right there but forgot to take pictures. I was having a lot of pain and had to resort to Tyn #3

Prayer takes a quiet serenity to enter into a place of resting and maybe I cannot enter deep enough into prayer to find the peace and freedom of pain. I was extremely anxious about the evening but everyone seemed able to relax. I am not a confident cook and I kept adding more when I found out Keith was a vegetarian. I was hoping that kim might appear.

I am so tired today I will really have to push myself to go for a walk.

We talked about miracles and Belinda mentioned seeing beautiful cyrstals in the dirty snow.
Maybe last night was a miracle!

SPIRITUAL CHEER LEADERS

YOU CAN NOT SEE THE BIG SNOWFLAKES - BUT THEY ARE THERE!

I am believing that I have a group of friends cheering me on with their prayers. Dad and I had a serious talk about being more respectful when we talk to each other. We have been getting a little grumpy; me for sure. We need to be humble and patient with one another. It is an effort to be happy but as long as we are thankful we can be happy!

Yesterday was a good day. We went out to lunch with Sandra and then talked to all the Aussie's on the phone. We had big fat snowflakes falling from above but it did not stay on the ground. It always is beautiful and the world becomes so quiet.

Today Chris and Leah may come over. I invited all but who ever comes we will be glad of a visit.
It is funny today the minister is talking about the visit of the shepherds another group who came to cheer on the new family.

Thanks Rick, among the things I couldn't find yesterday was my dictionary.

Yes the doctor knows I am not taking the medicine although he thought the side effects would wear off. But I am really trying to wear a patch and cut down and am taking antibiotics.

Jane said, :Beth, you are a conduit for God's love. It is visible in and through you.
May God's hand rest upon you and heal you in Jesus' name.

I am believe with every breath and I am thanking the Good Lord for healing me!

ALL OF LIFE IS EPHEMERAL

OUR SAD LITTLE TREE'S NAKED SEASON IS EPHEMERAL

IT IS NICE TO HAVE MY CUPBORDS ORGANIZED AND PRETTY

Does anyone know what ephemeral means?

Why do I keep continially losing things?

Some things are unimportant but mostly I lose what I value the most.

"We will lose what we love, but we will have loved."

One of the worst loss I had lately when I lost a tooth. There was this horrible gaping hole and no way was I going to smile. Fortunately this was fixed temporarily and I am reminded of how much of life is spent in trying to "fix" things.

Instead I am trying to learn to stop and be aware of my thoughts and emotions instead of getting frantic. Retracing your steps can be helpful. It is time to take a breath and to laugh. It is time to pray and to believe that if it is meant to be we will find it.

Sure enough my cell phone was found on the floor of the back seat of Dad's car!

COLOURS

MANY PRETTY CHRISTMAS COLOURS - MY CAMERA BOOK GIVES PAGES OF INSTRUCTIONS TO MAKE A SOFT FLOWING PICTURE LIKE THIS - GRAMA DOES IT ON THE FIRST TRY!!

Our lives are coloured and enriched byour many various experiences. Fortunately most of them are joyous and life affirming. But none of us escape moments of sadness and difficulty. We have been told that it is through the hard times we develope character and strength.

I think that it is important to remember that we are all very fragile and we do not always let on when we are hurting. I think it is important to share our feelings and to keep expecting things to get better.

There will be times when we just do not understand someone who we thought we knew so well. It is hard to see beauty in a world full of grayness and hopelessness. I believe that we are surrounded by a beautiful love and that it never disappears but will come again and again.

Today it is very hard for me to make another trip to the doctor but I tell myself that really I am healthy and have so much to be thankful for. My 100 year old friend named May said to me yesterday "Now dear, you go home and look after yourself and thank you so very much for coming to visit me!"

Larry drove me because he thought I was still wobbly from the pills I had taken. And he bought me a beautiful box of Valentine chocolates which I am enjoying. Came home and had a visit with Kim and later saw Mary in a beautiful bridal gown It seems like just yesterday we were admiring Theresa in her beautiful gown. And litttle Ben was so precious in his little suit.

. So yesterday had some colour and today I am feeling much better!

So the pills really made me depressed and dad insists I do not take them.

I am going out walking to see if I can find my cell phone. I did have a little slip and I wonder if it fell out. Janet phoned she had a nasty fall and hurt her tail-bone. We will walk together next week.

The news we heard from Kim is that Carol and Pantali may not go to China until May, very disappointing for Carol.

Not This one - but Grampa likes it!

Sandra and Mary traveled through a snow storm down to the US of A the other day to look at wedding dresses.

FORGIVENESS OPENS THE DOOR TO HAPPINESS

It is good to let the past go and let our souls rejoice in the goodness and faithfulness of God's love.

Yesterday was a good day. We got out of the house and had a great visit with Theresa and Kim. We were reminded in church the joy of the Lord is our strength and as we invite Jesus into our brokenness we are healed by His grace.

There is a time to let tje tears flow but then comes the time for healing.

When we arrived home there was a pot of chicken soup on the doorstep totally unexpected. jANE IS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND


To1day the snow has nearly all melted and it will be so frreeing to walk in the fresh air and enjoy the beauty of nature. Even a tree bare of all it's leaves has a beauty as it's branches reah up to the sky. aND WE KNOW THE LEAVES WILL RETURN.

Today I will be able to go visiting and I will be warmly received.

Today I want to write to our girl in the Congo. We have pictures of her as a small child now she is a lovely young gitl. They have a well to get clean water from and have all been given new shoes. Not a lot but at least we are making their lives a little better. HIV/AIDS are big problems. They also go to school. There is a health center for her to go to if she is sick.

We are looking forward to some of our family coming over on Sunday, especially Chris. It was good to hear the news from Ranu. And especially good to see smiling faces of
Brittany and Bryan safe back home even after losing their wallwt and camera

TOO MUCH

Writing too much can prove dangerous!

That is why a diary is probably better than a blog. You pour your heart out in page after page then you close the book and your secrets are safe. I am now going through some of my books and will be tossing them away. Not that I am ashamed of the pain I carry but I feel it needs to be private between the dear Lord and me. God has been my comforter and always will be; whichis because we have no secrets.

Anyway I will not take my pill today and cope with any pain the best I can. I still hope and pray it will vanish. Not because I pray for myself because I do not but others do and I am sure the good Lord hears there prayers.

I have been so very blessed this year with friends making me special cookies and friends clearly off our driveway and all the people who smile at me when I am walking. I am appreciating nature more as I look to see what would be a good picture.

My brother phoned yesterday concerned about Chris and no one prays like he does. So the answers are coming blowing on that wind and they will bring healing and hope and a new day!

WORDLESS FAITH

YESTERDAY cATHY CAME IN FOR TEA BRINGING mURPHY THE DOG WITH HER.
He had to explore every inch of our house. He chased the birds as they flew by the window.
He gobbled up the dog biscuits wagging his tail in thanks. Murphy is a big German shepherd.

This morning as I sit and say my morning prayers my mind wonders back to my childhood experience of church. I would feel so small in our huge church and the minister so powerful in his flowing robes.

My mind would wander to the stained glass windows. I would imagine myself climbing into the picture right upon the knee of Jesus. I knew his eyes had beckoned for me to come. I felt his strong arms and experienced the love that flowed like a glorious light into my being. I was delighted when the birds came to sit on his hand and amazed at the lion and the lamb lying together at his feet. One came with a sore paw that he put on his knee and it was healed.

To enter that picture was to enter into a place of awesome beauty and peace; a place of forgiveness and acceptance. I wanted to invite everyone to come. To come to a place where there where no words but the pure beauty of peace and stillness.

When I feel deeply sad and worried for one of my family I try to bring them with me into that healing light. I believe Jesus heals the wounds of our past and when we leave his presence we have been given new strength to cope with the ugliness that misunderstanding brings.

THE BOOTS

THESE BOOT WERE MADE FOR WALKING - AND HOPEFULLY SHOVELING SNOW

We drove all over town to get the right boots for dad. He has such trouble with his feet. We went to
Guildford and to Langley and many other places and finally found some at the store by White Spot. It will be a miracle if he can get out a bit more. I will go walking today the snow looks beautiful and I know it will soon be gone.

My heart is heavy worrying about Chris because I know the huge amount of pain he is carrying.
I was crying when I went up at church for prayer for him. I had a short talk with him on the phone but we are only grandparents and have to step back. He is exhausted from his work, I do not think his health is that great and now he is feeling emotional pain that comes and darkens the soul and all you want to do is to hide and sleep.

I phone Brian to have him say a prayer. He and Traudel are doing some cross country skiing but she can not ski the mountain like she use to. I asked him to pray for Chris. Right away he asked if he was having touble with his girlfriend and they had a big fight and if he was in the occult. He may be with his video games. He promised to pray and this is his life.

He has seen horrible things as a mountie that have driven many mounties to drink. God has done amazing things in his life and I love him because he is my brother. Yes, he can be too serious but he loves his family and offered to help Karl load his Buffalo as he is hoping to get rid of his herd. Karl and Mark are good kids. Larry has trouble understanding Brian but all God asks us to do is to love unconditionally. Dad now knows what it is like to not to be able to be a great skater or even to curl or clear the driveway without falling.

Chris could come and stay with us even for a weekend if that would help.

My prayer is that he will somehow be able to feel that he is loved because he is a good person who has had a difficult life.

Many great people have known depression and have been very creative. I know when I was depressed it was hard to find the way out. We weigh our soul down with our sadness and disappointment and pills may help but we have to work through the layers of grief one by one.
Even today the old grief still haunts me when I felt so alone and so vulnerable.

Cathy has returned this morning and there is more snow. Dad is inviting her in for tea.

A man from church wants bell center] to read some of my writing. I may email him some.
I can handle pain when I know the cause and I am hopeful this new pill will give me some relief if not I will just give up. I just feel so extremely sad, my whole heart aches for Christopher.

I have prayed non-stop for Leah and for Belinda and Kenny for Matthew so I have to believe that God will answer this prayer. I am crying again and I feel so hopeless.

THE BOOTS

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEN! !!

THE MORNING GROUP AT GRACEPOINT THIS MORNING

SUNRISE ON A COOL SNOWY MORNING - SHOWING PROMISE FOR A BEAUTIFUL DAY

I AM SURE THE CAKE WAS DELICIOUS!
We are so happy for you to be apart of such a loving family and there will be lots of exciting things for you all in the days ahead. Send us a picture or two. That is so bad that Brittany lost her camera or was it stolen? So many difficult things can happen when you travel. Dad and I think back to driving to Calgary in many times of bad weather and then on to Saskatoon.

I AM SURE YOU WILL HAVE A FUN TIME GOING OUT WITH MELINA, JESSIE AND MATTHEW. I hope the boys bring your presents. Having a birthday so close to Christmas has its disadvantages.

BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE THIS MORNING BUT I COULDN'T FIND THE CAMERA. The sky changes so quick it is hard to catch and not easy to see from our house. Our driveway has a small layer of snow. I have a feeling Cathy[I do not think you met her, she has red hair] o I think I hear her now. She offered to drive dad to his treatment and go to the store for us. Dad just woke up and came to tall me she is shoveling our driveway.

Dad and I went for a short walk last night after the hockey and talking to you. I was the one who slipped and fell this time so dad could be the hero and pick me up. It is a wonder we both did not collapse with laughter.

I am doing much better on my new pills but I wish I knew what is wrong but I have to just accept it and be thankful that I am so healthy.

I hope we can get out to church today. If not I will go for a walk, I have spikes I can put on my shoes. They are a little tricky to put on.

Questions can open the way into faith if we are willing to ask and to seek. No matter what life hands us I believe that there is that unseen hand that keeps lifting us up. Religion does not give us all the answers but always more questions. Why does God allow suffering? Why do people who say they love God do awful things and damage the image of God?

I am praying very hard for Chris, he is not sleeping and is exhausted at work and does not know what his future will bring. Kim was also having difficult decisions but has now moved in with Mike in New Westminter,
Mary has wedding plans but is planning to move down East. Sandra wants me to pray she will not do this.
Carol and Panteli plan to go to China on an exchange.
Rick is studying for his Masters.

We are blessed to have such a wonderfuk family and such carrying friends. This will be a Good Year! You may finally get to sleep all night!

MORE LIGHT SNOW FALLING

CATHY - LOVELY NEIGHBOR -SNEEKS OVER TO SHOVEL OUR DRIVEWAY

It is colder today -1 and it is snowing lightly. We are very fortunate that we can walk to so many places especially the grocery store.

I walked over to No. 10 yesterday just to see if I could. Hard walking and slippery in places. I was walking on the road when dad drove up. He was very angry at me. I had forgotten my phone and he was worried. I really feel I need to get out. Our neighbor Cathy who has a nice dog called Murphy, came over to help shovel the light snow on our driveway.

The funeral was very simple and very touching to hear the grandchildren speak.

Did you see the pictures of the Polar Bear Swim; no way I could ever do that. Dad did do it one year with Ron.

Hi Ken

The doctor does not think so but I have notied pain when I sneeze. I will try these new pills that I take one a day. The first two days and I am still feeling pain. I increase the dosage in two more days.

I feel a little annoyed because this cracked rib was not noticed before. The doctor was tired as I was too so I just went along with things. My goal is to get off the meds. but he seems to feel it is for life. Yes, I know many people live with pain but it helps if you know the cause.

I may ask for further tests but I will see next Friday, I know doctors get fed up with you like they did when I had the celiax, when they cannot find the problem. I realize his worry is that there may be cancer and that has been cleared.

I am worried about Chris at this time. He has a lot of emotional pain that can surface as anger but thankfully his mom and sister have been in touch. I have added him to the prayer list so I have to keep believing in prayer. Chris is very shy and withdrawn and I hope he can talk things through.

Theresa and Kim and the Mikes went for a polar swim I guess you saw it on face book

Dad is enjoying the hockey. Love mom

IT' FRIDAY

THE POND AND OUR LITTLE GUYS START TO EMERGE FROM THE SNOW

THE LAST VESTIGE OF CHRISTMAS - STILL HAPPILY GROWING

THE AFTER PICTURE

THIS IS THE BEFORE PICTURE - IT DOESN'T DO IT JUSTICE - A REAL MESS

Actually it is hard to remember what day it is. My friend Janet phoned she is able to do some walking but Scott Road is still very slippery and it is hard to navigate; but I will go for a short walk this morning.

This afternoon there is a funeral service for Esther Doe who lived on 53 and was a good friend. We went to Colebrook together and she came to a Bible study group I had. We went shopping the odd time together. She had an older home with a beautiful view out the back and she just loved her home. Her family decided she had to move to a one level home, very beautiful but she always missed her old place. I continued to visit her there and then when she moved into a care home I visited her and her husband Jack. She was going down hill mentally; actually they both were. She had one daughter here and several grandchildren. Once I started to have health problems; the lung cancer, and she was failing to recognize me I stopped visiting although I had good intentions of going back.

She lived a very long life and I was glad I was able to be there for her when she had to make the difficult moves. She was a faithful attender at Colebrook church, sang in the choir and was secretary of council. It was sad to see her go down hill, but I realize if we live long enough it will happened to all of us.

I have started my nw one a day pill. It is good because I feel more like myself, although it does not take the pain away, it is better than nothing. I tried nothing for one day and was very miserable day and night. So we carry on even though it seems like a night mare. It is a very strange pain, and nothing seems to help, or make it worse. I shoveled the driveway and had a nice normal shoulder pain when I came in. Pain that you know will get better and does respond to Avil. Something like a headache is so different. This is like deep deep inside and makes me very tired. Anyway I feel good about things now and we will kept working on finding the cause in the future.

Thank you everyone for your good suggestions I am keeping active and most of the time I have a good attitude; although occassionally I am just fed up with it.

Dad looks up all the information but I do not want to hear because I want to believe it will work.

I took down the decorations and dad cleaned up the mess of the tree needles and did a great job.
We are still watching our lawyer d. v. d. from the library about street lawyers. Certainly no Perry Masion. I did not know lawyers were so naughty! ! ! But then it is just a story.

Hoping for some comments. Wondering if anyone is reading!

P.S. Carol said I looked like a 49er when she saw me walking!

This is Larry -- I didnt want to take the christmas tree down. Beth didnt want a real tree this year - "they make all that mess" "Dont worry about mess when we take the tree down I will clean it up." Anyway Beth just went in, grabbed the tree, lights, a few decorations, tree holder and all, and dragged it out to the front portch and left it there. She left quite a pile, and trail of needles through the house. "There" She said. "Lets see how you clean up that mess - I'm going to take before and after pictures" Now the truth is that I took off all the decorations[hey maybe I missed one] and boxed them all up and crawed under and put them away.

THE LAST PATIENT - OR WHY GRAMA DRIVES ME CRAZY - PAGE TWO

I OPEN WINDOW AND YELL AT HER TO STOP BEING SILLY - SHE JUST GIVES ME THIS BEAUTIFUL SMILE - HOW CAN I STAY ANGRY??

THE LAST PATIENT - OR WHY GRAMA DRIVES ME CRAZY

BEFORE I WENT INTO THE SHOWER GRAMA WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT NAUSIA AND DID NOT EAT HER FRENCH TOAST - EXITING THE SHOWER I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AND SEE THIS - THE RADIO HAD SCOLDED BUSINESSES FOR NOT SHOVELING OFF THEIR FRONT WALKS. THE SNOW TO THE LEFT OF THE PICTURE IS OVER 4 FT AND GOES RIGHT AROUND THE BLOCK - NO ONE USES THE SIDEWALK - PERIOD. SHOVELING IT IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.

We set out to the doctors knowing that probably there would still be no answers. We were looking forward to a New Year's Eve late lunch with Sandra, Randy and Carol and Theresa and Ben and Morgan. I had said I did not want to go, but knowing how annoyed I get at dad not wanting to go to the doctor, I went.

I was determined to face the day with only a few advils, which made me realize the pain was real.
All the tests showed was a broken rib (that the doctor had missed in the exray report a few months ago) and all the body structure is fine (meaning no cancer in the bones). We do not know the scource or the reason of my pain. As it turned out we were "THE LAST PATIENT" 2008 for the entire clinic.

Wait a minute I thought this is going to go on forever! I am healthy, I can walk and I can do all things and I can enjoy life. It may be osteoporous or some crack that will not show until it heal

I cannot take this miserable pills I said so I now have a new pill I take once a day that is time released. I have always had trouble taking a pill when I had no pain, but this one I take first thing in the morning. So, I will give it a try. I think all of us are feeling discouraged, but if this does not cause side effects the doctor says I can take it the rest of my life. Of course I can take advil etc as well, at any time, and basically as much as I want.

People are giving me suggestions and I will try some. I may suggest a new treatment for the osteoporous, that is being used that may actually make the bones stronger.

Anyway enough of this it is time to take down the Christmas tree and put up our calenders. I think I have them hidden under the bed.

Dad enjoyed a great game of hicky yesterday no that should be hockey!

We had a great time having lunch at Moxies; dad had his fish and chips and I had spicy green beans and salad. Morgan was a little cranky having been woken up but she gave us big hugs, Ben too, as dad and I were the first to leave.

I am very hopeful about this New Year looking forward to enjoying our family events and visits.

Anyway, time for Breakfast dad has made french toast and coffee.

My New Years thought is to be filled with the spirit and be ready for God to use me in any way He chooses. I am attending a funeral of a friend that lived on 53rd Ave. and I remember the way I helped her through the changes in her life. She eventually ended up in a Nursing Home.