Monday, January 5, 2009

THE BOOTS

THESE BOOT WERE MADE FOR WALKING - AND HOPEFULLY SHOVELING SNOW


We drove all over town to get the right boots for dad. He has such trouble with his feet. We went to
Guildford and to Langley and many other places and finally found some at the store by White Spot. It will be a miracle if he can get out a bit more. I will go walking today the snow looks beautiful and I know it will soon be gone.

My heart is heavy worrying about Chris because I know the huge amount of pain he is carrying.
I was crying when I went up at church for prayer for him. I had a short talk with him on the phone but we are only grandparents and have to step back. He is exhausted from his work, I do not think his health is that great and now he is feeling emotional pain that comes and darkens the soul and all you want to do is to hide and sleep.

I phone Brian to have him say a prayer. He and Traudel are doing some cross country skiing but she can not ski the mountain like she use to. I asked him to pray for Chris. Right away he asked if he was having touble with his girlfriend and they had a big fight and if he was in the occult. He may be with his video games. He promised to pray and this is his life.

He has seen horrible things as a mountie that have driven many mounties to drink. God has done amazing things in his life and I love him because he is my brother. Yes, he can be too serious but he loves his family and offered to help Karl load his Buffalo as he is hoping to get rid of his herd. Karl and Mark are good kids. Larry has trouble understanding Brian but all God asks us to do is to love unconditionally. Dad now knows what it is like to not to be able to be a great skater or even to curl or clear the driveway without falling.

Chris could come and stay with us even for a weekend if that would help.

My prayer is that he will somehow be able to feel that he is loved because he is a good person who has had a difficult life.

Many great people have known depression and have been very creative. I know when I was depressed it was hard to find the way out. We weigh our soul down with our sadness and disappointment and pills may help but we have to work through the layers of grief one by one.
Even today the old grief still haunts me when I felt so alone and so vulnerable.

Cathy has returned this morning and there is more snow. Dad is inviting her in for tea.

A man from church wants bell center] to read some of my writing. I may email him some.
I can handle pain when I know the cause and I am hopeful this new pill will give me some relief if not I will just give up. I just feel so extremely sad, my whole heart aches for Christopher.

I have prayed non-stop for Leah and for Belinda and Kenny for Matthew so I have to believe that God will answer this prayer. I am crying again and I feel so hopeless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, that was just depressing. Except for the new boots. Could you send your freindly snow shoveler over to our house, Mary was stuck in the driveway for almonst an hour and then Randy got stuck when he got home. Even I in my mighty 4X4 had to do more then one run at it.