OOPS

I meant to write my letters but I guess habit took me here.

It fits in with my thoughts about change.

How important it is to become empty [to allow change] to allow change is illustrated in this Zen story. [I do appreciate Zen thinking].

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era [1868 to 1912] received a professor who came to enquire about Zen. He was welcomes and the master started to pour him a cup of tea. The cup became full but the master kept pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself.

"It is overfull no more can go in."

Nan-in replied, "You are so full of your own opinions and speculations how can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

Weeds come into my garden very self-sufficient images need to be pulled out for the flowers to grow. I need to let go of some of my past ideas and Beliefs for new growth.

FOOD

Somewhere I must have a picture of food but right now I cannot find it.

It is strange when you go to a restaurant and you are given food and you do not know what to do with it. Like at the green lettuce you get a big bunch of lettuce but first you get an ordinary dish of vegetables which I guess you wrap in the lettuce.

Rick was in England where he ordered a boxed lunch and food came on top of a box and inside hidden down deep where tiny flat pancakes to role it in, which he did not discover until later.

Now I must get my mind on serious things. What to do today. Today I have two letters I must write, I have 10 books to read, I have to sort through others and give then away, I have to buy a grad. present for Desirae for to-morrow night.
I have to find out who wrote the right time down for Morgan's ballet recital. I wrote 2:30 and dad crossed it out and put 3:30. It is on Saturday too.

I figure if we go early at least we won't miss it. Dad thinks I am trying to trick him to get him there on time. Ya right.

Last night I was going to go and check out a book to find a quote that Rick had read in a book I had given him and now he cannot find, We went to the library where I spent half the time in the washroom and did not find it, Tired I came home and phoned, phoned imagine that, actually talking to people and he had found what he need for his important essay. Maybe if I ever said something, quotable, he could quote me on religion, but like he says I am not published.

I am in one of those strange states where I am feeling tempted to eat real tasting food made from wheat. A loaf of french bread or a scone or even an ice cream cone
just seem to be tempting ,so tempting, me,

Last night I had a very weird dream that I needed to protect myself and I was piling up food at the door. I made a glorious mess and woke up when it seemed like the door was opening. Have you ever tried piling up Lemon pie? That is the one I really remember.

I will explain to the doctor today how I feel if I eat something i should not eat that contains some nasty little gluten. I get extremely bloated, I feel nauseated and sick, I feel exhausted, and then finally I start running to the bathroom. That is very therapeutic for me to write because i will know that I must not give in to temptation! Not even a crumb.

So the final word is that it is difficult to change myself or others or especially this cruel world. Just this morning Nelson Mandala's grand daughter was killed in a car accident A tragic loss!

PLANS

I was happy that our plans to meet Cameron, our grandson, from Edmonton, here for a day worked out so well. Being big and strong he helped moved a planter box for me and since i love moving things it was good to have that done. He is looking healthy and excited and having a new gitlfriend Chandel is a big reason. Sandra always looks pleased when her children come for a visit. Being a mom I know the joy of seeing your children too, even when they give you a hard time, like making a few suggestions! ! !

I had a quiet day pulling weeds but discovered a bony bottom is hard to sit on for long. I do plan on putting on a few pounds gradually and not by eating a mass of chips they insisted I eat. Days like yesterday make one feel that life is good and there will be many, many happy times ahead.

I feel a bit like God's restless servant today I have plans that I want to carry out but it will depend on the energy levels. It is a gray day this morning but that will not dampen my spirits. I feel so very thankful that I have been given so very much in life. There are many things I would like to be and many that I would like to do but I am content in doing my little tasks with simple faith. You see it is the small encounters and the simplest experiences. a bit flawed, but still able to carry the grace of God through us.

WORLDWIDE LAWS OF LIFE

Today the moss will grow under my feet. It is wet and miserable and I do not feel like walking; of course I sould tell dad that is when you shoud do it. Maybe we will walk down to the shoe store later.


TWO HUNDRED ETERNAL SPIRITUAL PRACTICES.
My latest find from the library drawn from major sacred Scripture of the world and various schools of philosophical thought, as well as from scientists, artists, historians and others.

There is a mountain of information for me to look through. It seems we cannot keep ten commandments what hope do we have for all these. All though I am sure they are more like suggestions. Some one with a legal mind must have produced this huge book that I gave to dad to carry out of the library. I think it is going to be jolly good fun and not at all guilt producing. I hope.

Today I am late because I was running to the bathroom all night. Dad mumbles in a sleepy voice "you are not having a good night are you." I graciously refrained from hitting him with a pillow instead mumbled "no I am not." By own fault how was I to know a little pill could work so thoroughly. But on the other hand I could not remember if I had taken a pill so I took another one. Enough for now.

We are looking forward to having supper with Cameron to-night. I do not know what time. Just think Cameron has a new sister in the family. Mary I think will always be the favorite! But both will be very loved! ! !

As I was rereadimg about our search for God
I am reminded that actually God is on the look-out for us.

AUTHENTICITY

I think that most of us value people being authentic. Can we be authentic and also be nice and kind and not tell people exactly how we feel or what they should do. I know that I am shy about sharing my faith, at least that is how I view myself, Years ago I started a Bible study group in our neighborhood and it was a hard thing for me to do to invite people. Come for coffee and meet your neighbors and learn a little about the Bible. Today book clubs are very popular and my understanding is that they talk about a lot of life challenging questions, and also develop friendships.

I say to myself well if people want to know about Jesus they can start searching. Most of the people on T.V. I do not find "authentic" so it is hard to believe in their message. I have given books away that have meant so much to be and I have heard in the odd occasion it spoke to the person. One was to a customer that dad sold her house and I meant her once. It was just an impulse that when I got home i said to your dad please give her this book and he did. Evidently it meant a great deal to her. Sometimes you do not know what affect something you do or say has on another.

My faith in Jesus has been the source of life and strength to me. I love to hear stories about how peoples lives heave been transformed. Music has great power to touch our souls and free us from our prisons. So does nature and art.

I read this morning about a young boy at a funeral looking at his very proud and strong-will grandma and saw for the first time
"her weakness seemed in some way stronger than her strength."

Everyone seems so self-confident and strong and they seem to be doing fine without God, not me I often feel weak in body and in soul and I feel sadness for those whose lives are full of pain. We attended a funeral of an elderly woman of faith and I came home with the message where is she answered by she is with God.

I really had a messy day yesterday spilling sugar [the can] and coffee grounds and then worrying dad; after he had been such a big help getting lunch.

It all started when i decided to walk down to London Drugs to get an ankle support for dad. Well I got the wrong one. But before I left he said take the phone and i couldn't find it so I took his. Please note I told him I am taking yours. I took longer than he thought I should so he phoned. His phone i did not hear it was oushed way down. Then my phone rang which was also in my bag and I answered it and could not hear for all the traffic on the road. Dad is completely annoyed and starts thinking his phone is lost again.

SORRY Sorry I will take some time to pray now and then go pull some weeds!

MUSICICAL MONDAY

The Bible tells us of the song the prophet Miiriam, sang with tambourine in her hand;
"Sing to the Lord
for He has triumphed gloriously
horse and rider he has thrown into the sea."
This was called the Song of the Sea.

The unadulterated song that Miiriam sang was simple and described the victory that the Israelites had over the Egyptians. As I listened to C.B.C. today talking about gospel choirs i was reminded of the Negro spiritual that said;
"O let us all from bondage flee
Let my people go!
And let us all in Christ be free
Let my people go!

Go down Moses, Way down in Egypt's land
Tell all Pharaoh to let my people go!

Music has had a big influence in my life and especially some of the hymns, the gospel songs, and the songs of freedom sung by people like Buffy Saint Marie or Joan Byasid or Bob Dylan. Songs for social justice and songs of soul food that stir up within us great emotions and a desire to dance and sing.

The music at church was awesome today and it is so good to be able to express all you are in singing along, clapping your hands and even raising them in praising the Lord! The Negro slaves were introduced to Christianity by the white rich owners, who took freedom for granted.

I try not to judge a person by their nationality but certain traits some people have can be very annoying. The Canadian generosity can be misused and again I was caught waiting in line as there was an argument in front of me. I guess it is hard not to be a little prejudiced at times.
MONDAY morning and the music I hear is the washing machine rewashing the clothes because the laundry soap which said "Natural" is to smelly for dad. I did not notice the flower on it which should have been a clue. Some flowers like the peony have a lovely smell but it can be over-powering inside in a small place. I have done this before and usually now I am careful to see if it says no smell. Some people look for soap that makes things white; not me, it is the no smell I have to go for.