CHASING THE SUN RISE

I started my walk very early this morning and as I started down the hill noticed the sunrise; so back to our house to get the camera. Then the problem was to find an area free of houses and the sun is rising even higher.

On my walk I see the early morning joggers, the dog walkers and the early morning worshippers going to the East Indian Temple for early morning prayer. Then their are several people heading to Starbucks for their morning coffe. A few early risers are watering their lawns but mostly it is very quiet and peaceful. It is a fresh and cool morning and I have a very enjoyable walk!

I think that growing up I was a bit of a dreamer chasing after happiness.

My earliest dream was to be a writer but I found that no one seemed excited about my writing ability so I was happy just being a reader. I very much wanted a dog which we were never able to have my dad never cared for dogs. Working as a secretary was okay but working in a big company like Saskatchewan light and power where there were so many people was a very unfriendly and stressful place.

Falling in love was magical and I dreamed about a cute little house with a dog and lots of children. Our first house was a triplex that was run down and had a huge ditch in front of the door. I did have nice neighbors and I made friends although we were all busy looking after our children and keeping our houses very very clean.
Being the perfect mom was harder than I realized and I wanted it to be fun. I was very obedient as a child and expected my children would be too. Why won't my children pick up their toys when I ask or later why don't they keep their rooms tidy.
I was not prepared for these noisy, active and demanding little people that demanded my attention continually.

The best part is having the dreams come true in unexpected ways.

I missed capturing the best part of the sunrise as I had to walk and walk to find a place to take a picture. It was fun hurrying along anticipating this beautiful picture.

I was happy when we moved to a brand new home in a nice neighborhood where I could walk to church. This I would do putting two children in a buggy and having the older two walk along. I made some good friends there and was happy to be involved.
Church was easier in those days we listened to the minister and we believed and no one thought of questioning the Bible or God. Heaven forbid!

I wanted to know my Bible better so found a group of Baptists that where starting a Bible Study group. They knew exactly what to believe and I never said a word for the first year because so much was new to be. Born again? Heaven and Hell? Conversion? Baptism? Sinner?

I was chasing after religion with all the answers that would transform my life from a sinner into a saint. I soon found this impossible and as the years unfolded and our little group experienced tragedy I realized that all you can try to be is real!

QUESTIONS

I plan to finish Spong's book this morning.

I agree that religion as practiced in churches that are into behavior control give faith a bad name. Yet, I would never choose to leave the church because it has been and will continue to be a big part of my life. I have met most of my friends there who lives I share and whose friendship I treasure.

We do not know about the next generation as the popularity of religious institutions continues to decline. The more up to date churches with their guitars and drums are still attracting some young people. We have a new minister coming to our church and are hoping he will reach out to the young and the old.

"The task of faith has become therefore not the task of believing the unbelievable but the task of living, loving and being.""
"The mission of faith is no longer to convert; it is to transform the world so that everyone will have a better chance to live fully and thus to commune with the source of love, to love wastefully and to find the courage "to be" and thus to commune with the Ground of Being".

God is calling all of us to be a part of spreading the good news in word and in deed.

I love seeing a church when I drive through a new area and it does give me a sense of security and joy.

We have been given " the uniquely human gift of knowledge and the incredible power to think about and explore the meaning of life that allows us to walk into places where few of us have walked before, to transcend the limits of our humanity and finally to touch that which is Eternal."

The church has promised us answers to all our unanswerable questions. Faith promises "peace that passes understanding" which has taken on new meaning for me.
When we gratuate from this life we will still have more to learn.

Jesus was human and yet in touch with his own divinity so that he could say "the Father and I are one". He opens the door to what we have called Heaven.

"God is ultimately one and that means that each one of us is a part of that oneness".

I have faced death when I was given a diagnose of failing health for which there appeared to be no answers. It was a miracle a answer to prayer when it was discovered I had celiac. Today this condition is common and most people do not reach the point where there bodies are literally starving. I was so very weak and tired, tired of seeing doctors who had no answers and tired of unanswered prayer.
It was at that point I discovered the true power of prayer which was submission and letting go. I was ready for whatever or however God wanted to use my life.

"Eternity is within us" Our lives have been shaped by the love that surrounded us even when we were not aware of it, by the love of others who have touched our lives and especially by those God has given us to love and cherish.

The greatest gift of growing old is seeing my children taking responsibility for their lives and for the lives in their care. I hope and pray that they will find the joy of believing that has been with me all my life even in moments of deepest despair.

We are all called to live life to the fullest and to be all that we can be.
It is amazing to me that I can write in this simple little blog and touch the lives of others. This has been a gift of God to me.

Two by two

Mary and Michael John have now arrived. The group came over after they had been down to the beach for fish and chips and a walk on the beach. It got very hot for awhile but thankfully cools down in the evening.

They have been rushing around going to thrift stores to buy old 60's clothes, visiting old friends, down to Robson Street, to White Rock Beach and then today it is the Grouse Grind. The fun part for us is just hearing about all they are doing.
Theresa will be taking pictures on the big day on Sunday of our MAD group.

Rick will be here on Sunday and I have to do some cooking. I am not too sure about church but now we are starting earlier it may work out.

Dad worked on his framing the hole in the wall but it is tiring on his feet.

Good that the football is on now.

Stephen and Shawna and dad and I usually go to the Boathouse in White Rock while they are visiting so we are off there today, Saturday. This way we get a better visit with them.

I did manage some visiting at the Nursing home and met an older man who likes to talk airplanes so that would be great for Larry. We have been visiting Shirley by phone and she may be able to return home to her apartment soon.

Dad and I are reading the "Infidel" about Ayman Hirsi Ali and I am going to suggest we do it as a book at our book club. Heavy reading!

THANKFULNESS AT SUNSET

The beauty of a sunset is one of the moments when I feel strongly that there is a God. Holding a new born in your arms or feel the warmth of hugs from family and friends are moments that are holy. Faith is to me a life-giving oxygen that reminds me every breath I take is a miracle. I believe! I Believe! I BELIEVE!

I do not see the things that I cannot explain as a threat to what I believe.
I believe in spite of unanawered questions.
I believe when my faith is strong and when doubt knows at the door.

A touch of red glimmering in the sky fills me with hope and with an inner peace.

I have been praying for my friends who I know are praying for others
Unless you have spent time with a prayer burden on your soul you do not understand the heaviness it can cause. The scripture talks about the spirit of Jesus groaning and at times there are no words that we can say.

"Stay awake", Jesus said and I know that prayer is the awareness of the sacred.
In the ordinary things of life, in the lonely suffering for which there can be no end.

Thank you God! Thank you for sharing our burdens and knowing our needs.


I wake up to our own worth as I acknowledge all that I have to be thankful for;
this includes sorrows as well as joys.

HAPPY DAYS

We have been joined by another young happy couple. We have all being hearing a lot about Shandel, Cameron's fiance, and she is delightful. Our birthday lunch was excellent but it was not easy to hear everybody so looking forward to having lots of fun in the next few days. The young ones, that includes Sandra too, were all off shopping and then home to transform the dining room into an another bedroom. Randy and Sandra's house is filling up and
Sandra's life I am sure is full of happy days
Michael John and Mary arrived last night and maybe someone will come for a walk with me today. I do not walk in the Water Shed Park alone. It is such a dense park and I have a terrible sense of direction and you never know you just might meet a creepy guy. Sandra's thought that they would make a nice little cross and flower remembrance of me if I did get mug did not fill me with courage or determination. lol Yes, I am stubborn and will do my single walk around the neighborhood.

I am reading Spong again and finding some things I agree with. I think that he has changed in the writing of this last book. He has certainly done a lot of reading and studying and has travelled from finding religion a safe place to hide into a place of intellectual thinking and is now coming into a place he calls of "being"

He challenges the church as being a place of the spiritually immature controlled by the clergy. My life has been enriched by the church, with all it's imperfections,
and worship for me is a time to express the love that I feel with an unquestioning heart.

Spirituality is being expressed in many ways today and I am happy that people are still searching even if the church is growing smaller. I enjoy small groups where you really get to know people and hear what they believe or don't believe. I must also admit I have come home at times very unhappy but I am challenged to keep learning.

In the article in the paper about EAT. PRAY and LOVE it suggests going to a church fall supper. It is wonderful how people come together and work together and laugh together. I am amazed at how some one in their nineties is still making wonderful pies.

It is also learning to co-operate with others who do things differently.

I look back on many happy days taking care of my little family. I am very proud of each one of them and the happiness they bring into my life.

I am especially happy because I do not have to prove or understand something for it to be true.

CLASSIC CHRISTIANTY

I believe that it is a difficult time for many of us who have been brought up in the church and want to be open to the questions that challenge a lot of what we believe. I too believe in the Trinity and the way each expresses the truth in unique ways.

"If we remember that the Spirit is God. . . . then we also understand that He is God at His closest to us." John Macquarrie in Principles of Christian Theology.

The dove is a good symbol as we see birds flying so high above us beyond our reach. One symbol is not enough as we read about Pentecost where the spirit came like a mighty wind and tongues of fire. After this experience a group of cowards were transform into passionate carriers of the Word.

Christians are expected to have compassion even for those who wrong you, Inwardness counts more than outward show and humility helps us to live by grace and peacefulness. Jesus taught us by his words and the holy spirit brings these words alive so that they can burn within our hearts and minds. I think this is why we feel so passionately about what we believe.

TIME

I cannot believe how fast the time went as we had a visit with Shawna and Stephen at Sandra's house yesterday. Today is Sandra's birthday and I cannot believe that 50 years has gone by so fast. Today we are having lunch with them all and also with Cameron and Sandel. Sandra has lots of things planned for the next few days and I know the time will fly by for all of us.

Dad and I got caught in a traffic jam as Scott Road was blocked off because of an accident. Dad tried to get ahead without merging and ended up facing a police car. We had mistakenly believe the traffic was all going down one lane but we had to get off Scott Road all together. It is not often you come face to face with a police car. Good job he was too busy to chase after us!!

There are six birthdays to remember in the first five days of Sept. and I have been worried I will forget some one. I thnik Tasha may have got two cards because i wanted to send her card off and dad was too slow to write in it. So the next one he did.

I thought we could just take things slow and easy at our time of life but I always seem to be behind myself. I wake up early thinking I have so many things I want to do and will there be enough time. I would like to do some visiting at the Nursing Home today but it all depends on Time! Dad tells me not to plan because plans always change but I need at least an idea of what I want to do. First I have to hurry out and do my walking so I have time to wash my hair before lunch. I am one of the few people in this family whose hair colour never changes. I do think about it every once in a while.

Meanwhile I am trying to make sense of the mess and mystery of the spiritual side of my life. Okay Sandra you can stop reading now. I realize that religion has been corrupted by power but so has all of life. I have been rethinking some of the lessons I learned about Jesus. I have never seen him as powerful but neither have I seen him as meek and mild. Jesus has taught me that love is greater than religion and that compassion is greater than purity.

Jesus has the power to awaken the truth of my oneness with God and my incompleteness without Him.