DECISIONS

To post or not to post?

I find it very hard to make decisions about a lot of things.  What to make for supper, what to buy, where to go, what to wear, and even sometimes what to believe.

Dad has written an excellent well thought out blog on the old testament which basically expresses a lot of what I believe.

Today I can either go visiting or accept an invitation out for tea.  Maybe I can do both but I have found that trying to do too much does not work well with me.  I would like to do both.

Yesterday Jane and I had a good visit with our friend Louise whose health is failing.  She still has a good sense of humor and it was a fun visit even though there was an under lying sadness.  Louise knows she will have to go back in hospital if her heart and lungs cannot cope with keeping the fluid out of her lungs.
Louise is a dear old friend that has been coming faithfully to the church for many, many years. 

When I arrived home dad was talking on the phone to Dennis Diggle.  He is not doing well as he has had too strokes.  He wanted to talk about the guitar he had bought from Ron many years ago, thinking he may not have given him a fair price.  Dad and he plan to get together. We met Dennis at church where he was baptized many years ago too.

We all read and hear things differently which is good because it keeps me thinking.  I am still in the process of learning and searching.  I am always touched when I read about some one having a conversion experience and making a "decision" to follow Christ.  This often is a life changing experience but can rock the boat in which they are travelling in relationship with others.  Conversion can be a emotionally beautiful experience but one always has to come down from the mountain and work out your love for God and your love in your relationships.

I think that dad and I have some decisions to make about how to keep healthy and to keep positive.  The desire to keep busy is important if our bodies give us energy and less pain.  Dennis told dad about a doctor that maybe he should try. 

I look at some of the decisions that are being made in the world today and often feel frustrated when money and time is spent on glorifying projects and buildings and not helping those desperately needing shelter and food. 

I am glad our minister is uncommonly open-minded and humane with a humble manner and a good sense of humor.  We like getting the e-mails that are humorous and remind us of how very human we are and how we really more alike than we may realize.

I am thankful I do not need to go out and make a decision about a turkey.  I gladly leave that in Sandra's capable hands.

"Teach me to do Thy Will; for Thou art my God
Thy Spirit is good; lead me into the land ( a spiritual place)
of uprightness."    Psalm 143:10

I find great inspiration in the Palms and I like to think of david with his harp looking up at the stars and being filled with the wonder of creation that speaks of amazing grace and love.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes when I put a blog on at night it actually reaches Australia.  I have been missing comments and wondering how things are going there.

Dad has been busy trimming the hedge around our property and that is a big job that is hard on his elbow and shoulder.  Leaves a lot of mess to be cleaned up too.  I did a bit of that.  Today it was raining a bit off and on so we drove to the shopping center and then over to see the new library in Surrey but there was no parking and it would be too far for dad to walk so we will go another time.

Dad is watching baseball and I guess hockey is starting again to-morrow.

Rick is coming down for work and for thanksgiving so we are looking forward to his visit and getting to-gether with family.  Mary and Michael John were going to come but they are moving back to Ontario at the end of October so they are busy making plans.

What news is there from your end?  Want to phone or skype one day soon?

THE SMILE

I was thinking as I started out on my walk how the love of God seems to smile upon us through nature, especially with all the amazing colors that bloom year round.  I turned the corner and walked along and see a big East Indian man with a black beard and a turban on and he totally surprised me when he gave me a huge smile and said hello.  I carry on and stop at the cross-lights to cross the road and a friendly looking man is waiting with me so we smile at each other.  Then as we cross the road together he tells me my smile has made my day!

I find that words can actually smile at you; maybe that does not make sense, but it is like they speak right to your heart with a message of hope or love or comfort.  Words of scripture especially speak to me that way.  I do not take them literally because like Job I do not have to believe what others think that God is like.

When I read the Old Testament I see that the nation that became Israel wanted to be in a relationship with God, whose name they did not even say, who they thought of as very powerful.  The covenant upon which their relationship was to be built was to be one of love that demanded we treat others with justice.

It is hard for us to understand that blood sacrifices were a redemptive function that sealed a promise, allowed for purification and atonement of sin.  We do not live by these customs today and find it sickening. 

John Dominic Crossan believes that it was Jesus's action of over-turning the tables of the money changers and the vendors selling animals for sacrifice that led to his crucifixion.  Did this mean that Jesus was defending the victims even including animals.

Of course whatever we say about the sacred is a projection of our human experiences.  To see those who wrote scripture as very human does not take away from it's value but requires study and prayer to allow the spirit to reveal what is hidden, and what speaks to us in this modern world. 

I believe the Bible to be an amazing book full of truth and light, but also very real in recognizing the power of evil and darkness.  Not an easy book to understand even with all it's stories and symbols and ancient beliefs.

I believe in a God who smiles because I believed that Jesus smiled upon people and did not condemn them but encouraged them to love God because He was a God of love and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Faith is expressed in our emotions as well as in our knowledge that has grown so much since the Bible was written.  The heart and soul longs for goodness and peace and I need help in finding how to live out what God means to me.  The most important thing is that I have the freedom to choose who I listen to; and to look for the goodness and love, that is there even when I am struggling and longing for God to intervene and change a situation.  Only the spirit can lift my despair and ease my pain when I feel that God is smiling upon me with compassion.

"We seek an ancient God and a modern God"

DIRECTION

All day yesterday I wanted to go in the wrong direction at every turn.

  Very strange when you feel you really want to go another way.

Dad and I drove into New Westminster, which reminds us of Saskatoon where we grew up.  We went to the bakery to but gluten-free bread and then across the street to the mall.  It is a nice size and we like to wander through it.  It has a store that captivates our attention because of all the beautiful ornaments and pictures.  I should have taken some pictures.  The last picture we bought was of a winter scene with boys walking to the ice rink.  If we where to buy a picture I would love to have something very colorful.  I do love the fall colors which our this blaze of color to prepare us for the drab and cold winter ahead.

I have often felt the church is going in a wrong direction and it makes me feel very uncomfortable.  We have tried different churches and I have found something good in them all.  We have met the greatest people who believe all sorts of different things.

We have a new minister now and I am not sure just what he believes but he is open to hearing what we believe.  He had a visit to our home and your dad let him know exactly what he does and does not believe.  Dad had also sent him his blog on the Old Testament. 

Our minister has a good sense of humor and is available to come and talk and help you through tough times.  He visits all the sick people and there are very many in our church full of older people.  I find the liturgy that I read to be meaningful and I am not a great one for repeated words written by others. without thinking about them.

I believe in miracles and I believe in a creating God who has the power to transform me so that the real me is free to discover the path to His open heart of love.  Love that lets me discover I am going the wrong direction need to be corrected.  Sin is not a popular word but when we see it as missing the mark it is helpful. Ever thought you had made a wrong choice, had said a hurtful word you would like to take back, had forgotten to do something you should or could have done.  What about those negative thoughts that can creep into our minds with no invitation?

The death of Jesus was to help us die to selfishness, greed and evil.
I believe in the Resurrection and there was something that shook the whole earth at that time.  It was an experience of great fear and greater loss as the world without Jesus became dark.  His followers who had proven to be great cowards had life-changing experiences that occurred after this dramatic event.

This world is a painful place and prayer is the only way I can hope to find healing and the direction for my life.  There are things that are not visible to the naked eye not explainable to the logical brain.

Yes, I like to observe holidays that have spiritual meaning that bring holiness a little closer into reality.  Thanks giving is a time to enjoy family and good food with thankful hearts.

Today there is more work to be done in the garden and I really must get my hair cut and load up a basket at the grocery store.  It is good to write down my thoughts first and I really love comments! ! !

RESTORATION

Sunday turned out to be a busy place on our street yesterday.  I did my morning walk around the neighborhood collecting discarded litter thrown down on the street or tangled in a bramble bush.  I was able to pick up three cans for my collection to give to the groups that come collecting in the fall.

Dad started a big job of trimming our hedge, a job partly done by the fellow who came to our door but only did half a job.  It is a big job and needs to be restored every year.

A big machine arrived because they are going to put a light on our path to the Safeway.  It is dangerously dark to walk through at night.

The man who owns the vacant house across the way arrived to cut the grass.  He bought the house for his son who has not so far moved in.  Does that mean he is still living at home?

As I thought about the words I was saying in church I was reminded that to be a Christian is to be a restoring presence in this word, where many people are hurting and wounded and need a helping hand or a comforting word.  Communion was served with the words "the bread of life" and "the cup of blessing".
Restoring grace and strength to those who humbly receive the gifts of the spirit of Jesus

Carrying on the healing and forgiving work of Jesus in  loving kindness, each in our small way.

AUTUMN BREEZE

Yesterday went for half my walk in the morning and the last half in the afternoon.  The weather was fine but energy just not there.

I am definitely not the gluten-free goddess but I thought I might get some inspiration from her blog and from her recipes.  Too complicated for me and when I went out shopping couldn't find the right ingredients.  Ended up with gluten-free chicken rice soup to which I added a few peas.

Theresa has given me a recipe for autumn casserole which is doable but it is back to the store.  Just the Safeway not the health food store.

Dad is looking at old pictures that Panteli put on the computer for him.  I can barely remember being so young and all the goals I had starting out in life.  Back then there was a self-contained happiness that seems to evaporate when life becomes more stressful and complicated.  How fortunate I was to have my mom cook all my meals and have them ready for me when I came in the door.

I am tired out with all my thinking so I lie down for a nap.  Soon I am up again and head downstairs to read only to fall asleep again.  As I struggle to wake up I gaze around the room and notice a lamp that needs to be moved closer, a curtain that needs adjustment, a picture that is crooked and I cannot settle down until I move, turn and adjust everything.  I decide I am not happy with the book I am reading so go look for another one.

I look forward to going to church today.  It is good to be with happy friendly people.

"The Logos, the Word. . . . that informs the cosmos-all things great and small-is still spoken in the sparrow song, wind sigh, and leave fall. . .The ocean still whispers the song that originated with the big bang.

Listen to the longing in your heart for love and justice, and you may hear the sacred word."
Sam Keen.

Autumn is a time of mixed emotions when part of me is ready to rest from gardening and yard work and just close the door on it all and find a warm spot to read and relax.  I miss the sunny mornings and evenings that do so much to brighten up the day but enjoy the autumn breeze that is setting the leaves free to fall to the ground.

This morning I will enjoy walking and seeing them fall around me!

JOURNALS

I love taking a small picture and making it larger than life!

Life is full of beauty waiting to be discovered and appreciated.  No matter how small I feel my life is I know that all life is to be appreciated and celebrated.

I find writing helps me make sense of my life and knowing that in simplicity there is complexity.

Dad and I went to the movie "Moneyball" which for him brought back memories of his ball playing years.  Who knows what could have happened after his traumatic motor-bike accident.  This forced him to take a year out of his life to recover and get back in the game.

I remember all the ball games we took part in when children in our family played ball and dad was the coach.  When grandchildren also played it made it even more exciting. 

The movie stresses that there is value to be found in undiscovered talent and good players can be found without investing huge amounts of money.  A true story about Billie Beane and his controversial ideas that come to life as he becomes friends and partners with a innovator in statistical analysis.  A very intense movie as we see stress acted out in explosive anger and yet the greatest emotional moments are the times he spends with his daughter.

We all want to be winners and play a perfect game but if we are not winners in the eyes of our family we have lost it all.

It can be immotionally intense when you walk into another persons life. 

"Emotional energy spent in discovering who I am and what goes on within me can be more important than what is happening outside."  This I found written down on a scrape of paper so I do not know where or when I had noted it.  I am reminded that inspiration lies all around us and like our minister Daniel said last Sunday each day we have been given has the potential to surprise us and awaken us to the spiritual reality in all life.  This is my wording but I liked the idea.

Phyllis Theroux says for her "writing is a deeply spiritual act that can have a profound effect on the practitioner."  I agree!