WONDERING

Wondering how Haiti is doing.  I missed her on my walk today and I am sure all the dog owners missed her too as she is hit of the dog park.

Wondering why doctors start to treat you differently when you get older.  Many of my friends comment on this too.

 I am lucky to have a good family doctor and must tell him next time I go.  I have not felt like going to any doctor lately to be honest.

The doctor at dad's cancer clinic is a real gem.  He is kind and patient and takes lots of time explaining to us about the consequences of dad's choices.  Not easy discussions to listen to but information needed to make the right choices if we can.
So dad will not be getting another hormone shot at this time.

Dad is pleased he now knows how to pay parking tickets with his phone, which is good when you are running over-time and it prevents prevents you from getting a ticket.

I was very happy dad did not make a fuss about me going for a walk yesterday.  It is not easy and I feel very weak but it is important to keep doing it.  I enjoy the fresh air and being a part of the world outside my door.  I met a friend and we stood looking up in a tree trying to find the owl we could hear.  Little things are important.

 

I have decided I am going to wake up every morning and forget that I am getting old.  I will lie there and plan all the wonderful things I am going to do with my day.  Most of it does not get done but the fun is in the joy of being creative in my planning  and positive!

 

I am getting good at putting things in strange places but I am always surprised now when I find them again.

Both improving!

CARING

Taking care of Haiti has been no problem as we do a short walk to the park and back.  Now Panteli has come to pick her up and she was so happy and excited to see him.  We will both miss her as she is good company.

Both dad and I have worried as we took care of each other.  I am certainly more concerned about him.  He has a worse cough and he has already broken ribs so that would really be bad.

Mutual care giving is more than a task, it is helping some one to get healthy again and is one of the purest expressions of love.  We have had time to watch old T.V. movies, cheering on the hockey teams and listen to some stories of times dad remembers.  It is strange that sometimes we remember things differently.i  read and he does the computer.  I will continue with a short walk as it is good for my spirits and I do not want to get too weak.

Yesterday morning dad seemed worse but then he had a big sleep in the afternoon and there was no coughing.  I am hoping that this signals a turn for the better.  It certainly is tiring all this coughing.
An nother bad night for dad .

Today dad has an appointment at the cancer clinic which we cancelled last week when he was so sick.  Maybe this doctor will listen to his chest but they can be very fussy about what they can do and cannot do.  Dad will decide whether to have another hormone shot and I know his decision is no, no way!

Thunder and heavy rain this morning.

Life does change as we age and all we can do is to try to keep our bodies and minds as healthy as we can!

"Life is what we make it
it always  has been, always will be."
Grandma  Moses

WHAT?

Early morning  promise of another sunny day.

Remembering Christopher's birthday and also little Madeline !

 We coughed ourselves to sleep and woke up early coughing.  Very tiring.  I think dad should go see his own doctor as he may need an inhaler.

The odd  (I do not mean they are odd)  person has asked what can we do for you?

I know I miss keeping in touch with friends.  I look forward to phone calls because visits are not the best thing for anyone to do in case they catch our germs.

It is good when we know what is happening in your life.  I know you are all busy and that is good.
It gives me life to know about what you are doing.

I am just writing this when Cathy G. phones and asks what she can do for us so I asked her to pick up a few things at the store.  Now, I probably could manage a trip over to the store  but have delivery is nicer!

Way to go Jassy best pupil of the week.  We are proud of you!

What and Who can give us hope when all seems hopeless and all light seems dim?

Timing

                                 Every thing  blooms in its time!

I insisted I was not sick enough but dad insisted I go to the same doctor he had seem at the clinic.  I went because I wanted to know the results of the x-ray of his chest.  We both have bronchitis.  We are fortunate we can take turns being care givers and still are able to laugh together.

So dad was right This  time!

I am very glad I went as today I feel worse but just waiting for the pills and prayers to help.

Vera kindly brought us some delicious soup so we are getting spoilt!  What a character she us, over ninety and making a sharp  U-turn into my driveway with a box of several jars of soup and some bread and cookies.  I smile as I watch her white hair jump back into the car and speed off to her Senior's home.

"There once was an elderly cobbler who approached his Rabbi asking what he could do about his morning prayers.
His customers brought their shoes to be fixed at the end of the day wanting them to be ready for the next morning.  When dawn arrived he was still fixing shoes.  Some mornings he could rush through his prayers but mostly as he lifted his hammer he would just sigh,

The Rabbi replied "If I were God I would value the sigh more than the prayers." by Earnest Kurtz
from the book Experiencing Spirituality.

My prayers seem to include a lot of sighing.

I am thankful the message of Jesus is timeless and speaks to the hearts of the young and the old!

CONFUSION

Early morning sunshine.

It is sure easy to feel confused when you do not sleep that well.  I do not know how people who work all different shifts and hours do it.

It is late by the time dad is able to stop coughing and yet I find myself wide awake at three, I think maybe these
sleeping  pills are confusing me.

Sandra was very confused when she arrived at our house with dad's favorite stew to find no one was home.

I started coughing so dad insisted I go to the walk-in clinic.  I went because I was concerned that he was not recovering as he should.  We found out we both have bronchitis so we are both on the pill.

Thankful Sandra stayed around and gave my garden a good clean up.  The delicious stew and company did dad a world of good.  I am hopeful to-night will be restful.


"What do we do when we are confused?  Usually we get further confused by and about the confusion itself.  What should we do then?  Rejoice in the confusion?  Confusion means we do not understand something thoroughly.

Welcome to the human condition.

Zen and Christianity agree in honoring the concept of mystery, accepting the reality of mystery, not as something that  "will be eventually solved" but as a hint of a reality greater than self.

Confusion is often the sign of recognizing reality for what it is, a hint that we should accept our own finitude for what it is.

We are imperfect beings."

If there was a perfect religion that embraced all wisdom would we embrace it as the true truth?

Confusions may be humorous as this story suggests.
Late one evening a weary truck driver pulls into an all-night truck stop.  Just as he was served three tough-looking, leather-jacketed motorcyclists-of the Hell's Angels - came in and decided to give him a hard time.  The verbally abused him, one grabbed the hamburger off his plate, another took a handful of his French fries and a third started to drink his coffee.  The trucker did not respond but paid the cheque and left. 

"Well he is not much of a man" they told the waitress.

"I don't know about that"  she said but looking out the window she said "he ain't much of a truck driver, he just ran over three motorbikes on his way out."

It is not by chance that the first question in the Bible is "Adam where are you?" 

Did God not know where Adam was?    God knew, Adam didn't.


"The purpose of religious observance is to make us aware that we live in the presence of God, to help us become better people, to increase our sensitivity, and to amaze us that even in our confusion miracles surround us at every moment."  Rabbi Lopez Cardozo

I will not be attending church because of my cough but should be all better in a week.

Thankful we both have bronchitis not pneumonia!  Taking our meds and drinking lots.

THE COUGH MONSTER

I love to see the color purple appearing in my garden.  It is so full of plants one can hardly see the weeds.

Dad is still very tired and the "cough monster" as I call him is still hanging on.  He is very tired and the rest is healing for him as well as pills and prayer!  He said for the first time yesterday he feels a bit better.  That sure was good news.

Just as important as the words we say when we pray is the faith and hope that under girds our prayer.
"One purpose is to lift and carry us out of the narrow scope that is ourselves,"

"There was a serious drought in a community of  Midwest farmers. the church knowing how urgent was their need called a prayer meeting.  The people came slowly and empty of faith and full of discouragement,
As the minister looked out at their sad and anxious  face he too felt hopeless.  Then his eyes took note of an eleven year old girl sitting in the front row, her face beaming with excitement and next to her ready for use was a bright red umbrella.
The beauty and innocence of the young girl made the pastor smile as he realized the faith she possessed.  Certainly no one else had brought an umbrella."

I take Haiti for two walks, a long one in the morning and shorter in the afternoon.  I phone Tavia to tell her it would be better for her to visit another week.  Dad makes the bed and clears up the kitchen which is a big help.  I do cleaning and shopping and cut the lawn.  I prepare the food from the deli. and dad is always easy to please.  I also did a lot of resting in between.


I think the cough monster is chasing after me
but I am not going to let it get me!

Dad looks tired as we talk together so I tell him to go back to bed as I am quite good at talking to myself!  He is still coughing a lot at night.

"Give thanks for the unknown blessings on their way."  Native American saying.

WHO

I lay awake keeping an eye on dad all night.  I watch each breath he takes, watching and praying. He does much better last night. Yesterday morning the he seems a wee bit better and sits in the living room to have a visit with Carol.  She has another busy week-end ahead with her friend coming to visit and they are going to a conference together.

Dad has a big sleep in the afternoon and I rest too.

Oliver is also coming and she picks him up at the airport and Panteli will take him early the next morning to fly to Mexico, where he will be on the look out for the biggest waves to surf.

 Haiti watches every move Kim makes as she packs her bag.  She keeps adding more and more. I sense she is feeling sad knowing we will all miss her.

Carol comes to drop off some things for her to take with her.  So many things to remember, like a quick trip to the vets. to get Haiti her special. very special food. Then there are a few last minute changes.  Kim looks tired as she has been extra busy these last few days.

I look at this lovely young lady who I have known all her life and I am amazed that she copes with so many things to do at the last minute.

I take a quick picture as the hope in the car.  Two hours later there is a call from the airlines that the flight will be delayed for several hours.

Who can stay calm and cheerful when there is this added stress.

We know that Ken and his little family have gone through several mix-ups in their travelling too.  Ken phoned and talked to dad while I was walking Haiti.  Hope they can find out the problem of Jesse's pain.  It may be a side effect of the drugs he is taking for  acne.

Then I phoned and talked to Traudl and Brian and she is still having trips to Cranbrook and getting more tests etc.  Brain has now come down with a bad case of the Shingles by his eye which is not good.

I will end my blog knowing that when we share our journey of life's ups and downs with others especially loved ones life is a lot easier and we are reminded how precious each day can be.