GOALS

Our goal has been to find some more over-all pants for dad and some new boots. We tried Tsawwassen Mills the other day and today we tried White Rock after looking at Mark's.  All the clerks have been so helpful and the shoe stores even gave us names of other stores to try.  We did not feel like going to Guildford today but may try to-morrow.

It would seem like these goals are not going to be easy.

Some worthy goals are difficult and time consuming but with perseverance we will find what we are looking for.  We will continue to ask for help along each step of the way.

To-night we have our candles and flashlights all ready in case the power goes out with the high wind.

Some goals are easily defined but others are a part of our search for authenticity.

I like what I am reading about spirituality that can be defined in many different ways.

"Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to one another by a power greater than all of us and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion."  -Brene Brown.

Healing comes gradually with spirit and connection with others and with God for me.

WAITING

This was several days ago when I took a walk over to the park.  Just a little bit of snow.  Now we are waiting for more snow to fall in the night.

Yesterday we were waiting at the cancer doctor's office and dad and the other young man started talking about boots.  Dad was impressed with his boots and believe it or not they were from Mark's.
We will go there soon and hopefully be able to find them.

I knew Joan would be waiting for me to come back and visit so dad and I drove to the hospital together.  There was absolutely no parking until we went to dad's hidden spot.  I went to the third floor and he was going to the second floor.  We both thought we would have trouble finding each other again.  Fortunately dad came to Joan's room and we found the way out together.

I also visit the Home where they have already picked out people for me to start visiting when I am ready.  I do enjoy visiting and it helps me feel I can still help others.  Dad also helps me to help too.

I have been doing some remembering of past regrets but I read today that regret is like striking a large bell in an empty field and then running to try and catch the sound.

I think living with a perfect person would be awful so all I can hope is that others especially family remember me for the kind things that I did do.

"Start trying to be perfect and love more."\
Demi Lovato

BELONGING

    Belonging is a natural part of being human and wanting to feel important in the lives of others.

Tuesday night we were invited to Carol and Panteli's to have supper and to have a visit with Theresa and Ben.  Theresa had been at U.B.C. to get a report on how well he is doing.  No ABC"s just colors of red and yellow and green.  This is also to let you know what you can improve in.

I felt very happy to belong to my family and share this time with them.  One by one we arrived thankful to be in a warm home with lots of fun and laughter.

Today which is Wed. I was down at the church to the ladies group I belong to. 
We discussed events that would be happening in the future.  The strawberry tea is one of them.
I have belonged to this group for many years and we share many happy memories.  We have a laugh about the white cake we all had a recipe for which we found out later to turn out better needed a few extra eggs to help it rise.  I thought I was the only one whose cake had turned out disappointing.
We also share the latest gossip of what will be happening in the future.

Belonging has also meant to me to belong to something bigger that has the potential to add meaning and purpose to my life.

"We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we are embraced for who we are."  -   Brene Brown

I continue to learn more about myself as I share with others, in my family or in a group.

Life is learning to listen and to love ourselves and each other!

GRADITUDE

I thought I posted a blog but it has disappeared.

Just as soon as I decide I am going to be grateful then things go wrong.

Grateful that the drive home from Carol and Pentali's, through the blinding snow and wind, went well.  Grateful not to be driving this morning.

It is very cold for us sissies who live here now.  Thankful for a warm house with power.

Gratitude helps me see the potential for healing and for hope and courage.

"There is a god spark in everyone and in everything, a sort of diaspora of goodness God's immanent presence among us is encountered daily in the most simple and ordinary ways.  The Holy may speak to you from its hidden places at any time."
My Grandfather's Blessings by Rachael Remen

WHOLENESS

                                Yesterday I saw my first two red robins splashing in our pool.

Sunday morning was a time to pray and open my heart to the love that flows from Jesus to us all.  This is the love that gathers up the broken pieces of our hearts and makes us whole again.  We carry within us a vision of this wholeness that for me is holiness..

"Find a place inside where there is joy
and the joy will burn out the pain."   Joseph Campbell

"The belief that happiness has to be deserved has lead to centuries of pain, guilt, and deception.
So firmly have we clung to this illusory belief that we have almost forgotten the real truth about happiness.  So busy are we in try to deserve happiness that we no longer have much time to just be happy.
Happiness is natural
Happiness is a birthright
Happiness is free
Happiness is a choice
Happiness is within."  Robert Holden

Happiness is being thankful
Happiness is letting hope guide your life.

Happiness is letting others bring you joy.

"Human spiritual longing is finally, the humility
that we have forgotten who we are. . . .
There can be times in the process of seeking
that we are reassured that we are even more devoutly being search for,
and that we have already been found."  Gerald May

Dad and I went to church with a light snow falling.

We had a visit from Sandra and then went to Carol's for supper.

QUESTIONS

                                                          My early morning walk.

                           "Questions are lanterns we swing ahead of us to see in the dark."

I went to visit Joan at Surrey Hospital on Friday.  I had to figure out how to get to the south side from the north side where we parked. and everyone was so kind answering my questions when I got lost several times.

Joan looked so tiny in the big hospital bed.  She had fallen and broke her arm and it also had broke her spirit.  She told me she was afraid and then asked what did she have to live for.  A difficult question.  I told her I could understand why she was feeling so down when the future is uncertain.  She is very weak and frail.  I tried to comfort her and remind her we just have to take one day at a time.  I promise to pray for her.

Saturday we drove into Ladner to have fish and chips at the pub.  It was very crowded and noisy bur lots of interesting happy people.   It does us good just to get out.

Both days we were going to stop and buy groceries but were too tired.

The main question in my mind now is whether I will continue to visit at the home.  I will if Joan is well enough to return there but it looks very doubtful at the moment.

Every life is important no matter what the age or ability is.

ORGANIZED

organized

I did walk in the rain.

Now I am trying to organize our day.  I get dad to look at recipes to try and figure what to shop for at the store.  He is not too helpful.  It is no wonder we eat out so much we do not like deciding what to cook.

First there are things that need answering on the computer.  His parking permit has to be paid for and be here before his birthday.  A declare Now form has to be filled out and sent away or we will have to pay more taxes.  I like to get these things done before we lose the notices.

Dad's pants have to be returned to the store as they are too big for him.  He has no receipt but I am sure Mark's will do it because the girls there really like him.  Hopefully he can get the right size.

Next we will go to the hospital to visit Joan who was sent there from the Home.  I would like to know what happened but at her age things can happen so suddenly.

I read from my devotional book.

Self-knowledge and self love are the way prayer can open our hearts and our minds to God.

Spiritual knowledge can be very healing.