TASKS

Dad had no intention of having surgery.

The doctor agreed that is was a wise choice.

The funny thing is you get bad news, and I take this as bad news having to face cancer,  and then you go home and do all the tasks that have to be done.  Walking the dog, making supper, doing the dishes and watching the hockey game, Kenny phoned to remind us.  

We shared our news with him.

We go to bed early.  I had a heavy anxious feeling. I am afraid and worried for myself as well as for dad.   Dad had a heavy tummy and so had a bad night.  Neither one of us slept very well.

Fortunately we could have a good sleep after breakfast.

Maybe it is time we learned to express our feelings more. so that we can face the future together better.

We have faced many difficult problems in the past but we kept a lot of feelings to ourselves.

We will need faith and trust to make a go of our future together.

We will need courage to make decisions.

Happiness is having loved ones share your life with you.

Dad has an appointment with Dr. Mac to-morrow morning at 9:30.

Sandra motivates us to do  this.

We will have an egg and toast for a light supper.

"Three things will last forever

faith, hope and love."

Thankful that God's love is unconditional

and goes with us into the unknown.

We have lots of friends praying for ys as well.

 

NEWS

Surgery is not an option.

The growth will turn to cancer and they maybe treated.

Good idea to get another opinion about the stomach problems.

SHARING

 

A sunny day with a cold wind.

Spenser got cleaned up and he looks good.

I still cannot put pictures on  except old ones,

I was very touched by the Mother's day card from Kim and Carol.

We have shared so many wonderful times together.

We treasure those we love.

Being a mom was a challenge but the reward has been amazing.

Dad and I are both a little unsteady on our feet so we hold hands when we are out together.

I remember what a thrill it was as a teen-ager to walk holding hands.

We married and soon I had my arms full of little ones.

I loved  holding  little hands.

So over the years dad and I have shared many dreams, and happy moments.

We do not always agree but that keeps life interesting.

Dad is feeling a bit better after a miserable morning.

so we will drive into town to have supper with Panteli.

We appreciate sharing a meal with him.

To-morrow dad goes to see the doctor.

Hopefully we will learn a bit more.

Happiness is having some one to share your life with

who loves you unconditionally.

The more the merrier.

FACTS

There comes a time when facts have to be faced.

Dad's pancreas is not working.

He has to take his digestion meals before meals.

He neglected to do so yesterday

the result a bad night and morning.

He feels weak and his mind slows down too.

So I have been making sure he does it right today.

We did go out in the afternoon.

I went and stood outside in the line up at the bank,

Dad went to London Drugs and the dollar store.

We were very happy to be back home.

Spenser sits by the bedroom window on a chair and watches us go.

He is there when we come home.

I believe that there is a solution to must of our problems

but not always easy to discover it/

People can change.

It is good to listen when people give you advice.

You can then choose to follow it or not.

Give advice only when some one offers it.

Accept help when you need it.

Be thankful.

Be generous.

Learn something new each day.

Use the gifts you have been given to help others.

It is good to slow down and find happiness in the small things.

"To love and be loved is the most empowering and exhilarating of all human emotions."

Jane Goodall

 

BE REAL

Spenser and I walk by this ladies house every day we walk to the park.

I have seen her create beauty,

She has used the rocks, with their natural shapes

to blend in with the flowers she has added

so lovingly.

Sunday is a special day for me.

"There is wonder in the moment if we but look for it

letting it touch us, making us real.

Celebrate the joy of the miracle of life.

The spiritual essence that connects all of life."

The reality is that with life there comes trials and tribulations.

We waiting for our circumstances to change.

We wait for healing of our bodies and our minds.

We are each on our own journey

the lessons we need to learn.

This day was special as we talked to Rick and to Ken.

They are experiencing aches and pains that come with getting older.

There are things we have to accept and things that need to change.

Sorry we missed Sandra and Randy.

Dad told me they left something out in the garden for me.

I looked and looked and could not find because I was looking for the wrong thing.

It was a iron climber for my bush to climb up on.

I laughed when I found it and ran in to tell dad I had found it.

Later in the day I received another gift.

A box of masks.  Very good ones.

A lady came to the door and rang the bell but waited out on the road.

Dad went to the door because I was walking Spenser.

He did not know who she was.

I do not wear a mast when I am out walking maybe some one thinks I should.

I do not Know?

IT is with the Soul we grasp the essence of another human being.  Not just with the mind or even the heart but from within the depths of our souls.

We all have our own ideas about God

We make our own choices about what to believe.

What gives our life purpose and meaning?

A question that only each one of us can answer.

IT is what feels real and true.

Know that everyone is as real as you are.

Real and unique.

We are trying to do our best to be kind and helpful. 

WE are grateful the growth was not cancer

and looking forward to what the /surgeon says on the 28th

We are thankful Spenser is doing better.

Has more energy and not coughing like he did.

We were worried about the little guy.

  

 

CLOUDS

Clouds have produced the rain.

Our gardens do need the rain.

I wi;; wait and see if it shops before taking Spenser.

Yesterday it felt like I had a cloud of doom over me.

This feeling left when Randy and Sandra came in the door with supper.

I was so thankful for their support

during this time.

My day began with a lady running into the Park asking if I had seen a black lab.

I had not and I would have like to support her look for her dog.

I realize that I need to be more aware of what is happening around me.

I felt better when the doctor who did dad's test phoned

saying it was not cancer but could change in twenty years.

That made us laugh.

The next step will be to talk to his surgeon on  Tues. 

" the family is one of nature's masterpieces."

George Santayana

We have felt the support of our family everyday.

TAKING IT EASY

Taking it easy.

Enjoying the beauty of spring.

Dad enjoyed his porridge this morning.

We will enjoy a normal daily routine.

I got his pills all organized.

New ones to be taken at different times.ck 

Dad needs to check it out.

I feel a bit numb.

I feel a little afraid.

I feel uneasy.

I feel angry because it should have been diagnosed sooner.

We are now facing a New Challenge.

with a hopeful heart and a grateful spirit.

We have come through difficult times before.

I pray for strength and courage for us both.

It all seems a little unreal although we expected this outcome.

Waiting for the results of the test.

His growth may be cancer .

It will become cancer if it is not.

Take a deep breath and be calm.

 

DAY BY DAY

a SUNNY DAY

Dad is now home from Van. Hospital.

The growth may not be cancer now but it will become cancer.

Sandra did a wonderful  job getting him there and home.

The place and date were right but time was out by an hour.

The surgeon  will phone.

He is starting pills. Now.

Neither one of us was surprised.

We will take it a day at a time.

Life will go on much as usual.

Hello

Wonderful news,

Congratulations Kim and Hamlet/

we admire your courage and your inner strength.

You are starting on a wonderful journey.

We loved you a lot.

I have been remembering special times in the past we spent with you.

We have been blessed to be a part pf your life.

The birth of a little one is a miracle.

In your case a miracle of love.

Your lives changed forever.

To-morrow dad has his ultra sound and biopsy of his pancreus.

It takes courage to keep trying to find answers to be healthier.

We have to accept our limitations.

I pray for courage for us all.

Courage to face whatever challenge comes our way.

 

WAITING

'Encourage one another, as long as it is call "Today"

Hebrews ;3

Yes waiting is so very hard to do.

Waiting for Kim and Hamlet's baby to arrive seems hard.

I thought for sure t would be here by now.

I have his or her picture on my frig. and I am encouraging this little one.

I am praying for them and hope they feel the love of us all surrounding them.

 

NEW

 Waited all day for a call back from the vet.  I am sure she would charge us but I just wanted to know what she thought we should do next.  Spenser started coughing bad at about 2 last night.

Both dad and Spenser had a bad night.

Dad does not like this vet. so maybe we should look for another one.

Are people so busy they cannot talk on the phone for 5 min.

Well the vet just phoned and will put him on steroids.

It was a male vet I have not met.

He was very interested and explained what he has planned for the future.

If this does not work.

Spenser follows me everywhere

and I feel very helpless but hope this works.

We were glad to have a short visit.

We did have fish to cook for supper.

I know exactly how you feel about cooking.

Are we normal?

Dad is working on his shade deck.

It is good he has a project.

Spenser and I will go over and pick up the pills.

 

YAH

 1

I try to make it aa special day,

Our heart is at the center of our being.

It is there we feel loved and secure.

Jesus meets us there to restore our faith in our humanity.

Prayer helps me to quiet the voices in my head and to rest in the moment.

One by one I think of my family and ask God to be with them.

We look forward to watching hockey after we go out for lunch.  I am just putting my shoes on when Sandra and Randy arrive on our door step.  They planned to go shopping at Art Naps Garden center but Randy was going to have to go hi=ome and rest before working he night shift.  This must be hard on both of them.

I am thankful those nights when dad had to work our gone.

Shandel phoned and she was surprised when Sandra answered the phone.  I wanted to know how she was able to make Daisy take her medicine.  I had tried must of her tricks and nothing works.  Talking to Cameron he had no answers.  They had just come in from a walk in the snow.  It was melting already.

The outdoor patio where we wanted to eat was full and it would be at least an hour to wait.  /we decided to return home and do some shopping at the Safeway.  The parking lot was very full but we did find a spot.

We were glad we came home when Ken phoned and reminded us the Canucks were playing.  It turned out to be a good game as the Canucks won in over  time

I am resting after I do anything at all/  Walking, making lunch, buying food or trying to make my computer work.  Dad came and fixed it for me.  It is late and time for bed.

All in all it was a good day.  

There is a light that shines upon us all and as we allow this light to shine on others we all our blessed.

DULL

Yes I am feeling dull.

I walk Spenser.

I try to get his cough medicine in him.

I chase him going through the hole in the bushes over to our neighbors.

I bring him back.

I am resting more.

Dad has started a project fixing shade deck fence.

Not much to say except I am thankful for the summer weather.

I am thankful for out little park,

I am thankful for days when day feels a little better.

I am thankful for Spenser!

 

MOTIVATION

We are very low on motivation.

There is a lot to be done around the house and outside.

Neither one of us have the energy we would like to have,

Now I know what it is like to live with some one prone to falling.

Spenser and I had a shorter walk.  Much slower too.  We were late getting home so dad took the car to drive around and see if we needed to be rescued or if I had fallen.

After a rest I started cutting the front bit of grass.  Dad came out and finished it.

It was quiet so I wandered out to see what he was doing next.

I could not find him, in the house or in the yard or in the garage.  I was worried he may have fallen somewhere.

He was feeling very unsteady on his feet.

I started calling "hello".  He had crossed the street to visit with some new neighbors.  He did not hear me but they did.  

He did have a fall in the back yard just before Panteli arrived with supper.  We were very hungry and appreciated a good meal.  While we were eating we skyped Carol and Kim and Hamlet.  They were enjoying their time together.

Then on the next day Wed. we did not do much.  

The good thing is we just accept how it is and do what we can.  There is a calmness about doing little things more slowly.

I am trying to train my anxious mind to be peaceful and feel at peace with others and with God. 

A faith built on love endures.

 

SUMMER

We had a real taste of summer today.

I took off my light jacket to feel the warmth.

Dad and I went for a drive and stopped for ice cream at McDonalds.

We have lots of family memories there.

We had Spenser with us so he could sit at the table with us outside.

I felt relaxed and my constant worry was forgotten.

I tell myself to think positive thoughts

So I am and then dad says he has to rush home to the bathroom.

I am thankful for the pleasant summer day and the promise of more to come.

I am thankful I love to read as it helps me not to worry so much.

Looking forward to a visit with Panteli to-morrow.

He is binging us something for supper.

We had a big lunch on leftovers today and so I felt we did not need much supper.

Dad asks did we have supper?

He wanted to try making pancakes again.

I suggested toast and some cold chicken.

Cathy phoned while we were out and I phoned back.

We enjoyed a happy conversation talking about dad's stories.

Rare quiet moments like eating ice dream outside are wonderful.

 

FRAZZLED

 

Yes I was a bit frazzled when Sandra and Randy arrived a little early.

I had not combed my hair or dressed properly.

Yes I had not put the toilet paper in the bathroom down stairs.

We seem to go through a lot now a days.

I wonder if we ever really get our life together.

The food was great and we had a fun time.

They helped us put Spenser's new harness on. \

Sandra and I moved furniture around and even ;et  Randy  help.

I am not happy but I guess that is another part of me that is frazzled.

I prayed that I would feel God's love for me early that morning.

"If we love one another God's love lives in us."\

1 John 4:12.

My prayer was answered by the visit of Sandra and Randy.

Love lives in all our hearts.

ADVENTURE

Dad has always wanted life to be an adventure,

He has taken many risks to rescue others.

The adventure into our future will be another test of our courage.

My adventure was falling in love, getting married, moving away from home and friends. and having four amazing children.  

Spenser's cough is now betterThis is good because her refuses  to take his cough medicine.

I put in a tiny piece of turkey and he finally ate that.

He is very stubborn.

The pills I can put in his dog wet food.

Dad's cough seems to be getting worse.

Spenser was very tired yesterday and we did a very slow walk.

This is my friend's house we walk by in the morning.

I now have a date for cataract  surgery.  May i7

Time and place to be decided upon with a phone call on May 11.

Yesterday we did a big shopping but find this morning there were things we forgot.                              .                                              

SPENSER

We feel in love with Spenser at first sight.

Dad wanted to adopt him before he had even seen him.

He brings us a lot of happiness, 

even when we annoys us with his barking.

Other dogs like him and so do children.

Spenser came to us from the shelter with a cough which they said was a kennel cough.

The last two nights his cough sounded different.          we made an appointment with the vet.

 He did not want to go in.  I felt bad watching him resist and I do wish we could go in with him.

WE left him there till 2 in the afternoon.  She brought him out saying he has a collapsed wind pipe.  Dad thinks he needs a new halter.  He has anti biotic and a cough medicine.  When she brought  him out he just wanted to run home. Tthe trouble is he collapsed and I ended up carrying him.

Dad has had a bad day but hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Was  it something he ate or was it the MetaMucil; he did not drink?

We were invited to Carol and Penteli's for supper.  Dad did not feel like going and we did not want to leave Spenser.  I was looking forward to going.

We will see how he improves in two weeks.

 

SHAKEY GROUND

I had been very hopeful that the news from the M.R,I. would be good news.

Now it appears we are on shaky ground still not knowing.  Is it a cyst or is it cancer?  

How can the surgeon make all these plans of a biopsy without knowing how healthy dad is?  I feel that he cannot loose any more weight.  Is this growth the cause of his weight lost and bowel problems?  He needs to a complete check over in the days to come.

Even if it is cancer won't it grow slowly?

Will he be strong enough for surgery?
  

We were both thankful to have Sandra there listening and questioning.  We were thankful that we all could enjoy a delicious supper with Carol and Panteli.  It was a relief to know Carol will take on the problem of shipping Rick's computer.

Dad had a bad asthma attack last night.

Spenser's cough seems worse two.  He comes and sleeps over beside me, on the floor.  I pat him when he starts coughing.  We will get him an appointment at the /vets. today.

I pray asking God to be our strength at this time.

 

NO WORRIES

 

We left all our worries behind on our drive to White Rock Beach.

It was extremely crowded and no place to park.

I tried to take pictures as we drove along.

I wished we would have been able to park and walk and take pictures.

There were people eating out on the patios.  Very crowded.  We drove home and had hot dogs.

After a rest I cut the front lawn.  I wanted to do more but it took all my energy.

Today Sandra is coming over to be here when the doctor phones.  I hope she is able to tell us something..  Dad is not doing well.  I am thankful others are praying for him.

"Time to soak up all the goodness and beauty that surrounds us.  Push away any fears of the future.  God speaks to us in the depths of our soul words of encouragement and grace." 

Shauna Niequist.

Beginning the day with silent prayer. and a thankful heart.

WATCHERS

Watching my garden become free of weeds.

Sandra does an amazing job!

Thanks Sandra.

a

I see all the parents at the park watching over their children as they run, jump, slide and swing.

There  is a presence, I call God, who also watches his children with great love and compassion.  There are times when I feel that presence and their are times I feel very alone.  Jesus on the cross felt abandoned by God, his Heavenly Father. and cried out in pain.  Where are you God?  He was watching and suffering  seeing his Son suffer.  Doing what is right is not always easy.  Sometimes we make life more painful that it needs to be. 

I was happy when dad made eggs for our lunch.  I was hungry after my walk and so was Sandra after her hard work.

I had along talk with Brian.  He is recovering slowly and shares his depest feelings with me.  I heard a new side of him I never knew before.  He and Traudel always put on happy faces the few times we got together.

The Words in scripture remind me I am not alone.

I need to be brave and compassionate.

Miracles happen as we reach out to help others.

 

NIGHTMARE

                                              

                                                          HAPPY EASTER.

Last night was nightmare for both dad and I.  He was up a lot in the night.  I kept saying that we have to do better.  I am now praying for the good Lord to help me.  I was very tired and did not know it was Easter Sunday.  I thought it was Thursday.  

Sandra phoned and straightened me out.

Easter Sunday is a very special day.  

God's love is real and Jesus is alive.

His love is unconditional.

His love forgives.

His love heals and restores body and soul.

Easter music is a powerful life giving message that reminds us will sing in my spirit today.

I am his beloved child whose life has been changed for ever.  I am Loved.

 

GOOD BYE

What a busy morning for Rick.

He did inone morning what I would do in 3 days.

His friends arrived right on time.

A cheerful group.

Ian is right behind Rick.

I gave him a hug and said a huge thank you.

Rick was looking very exhausted.

Every one helped load the car.

Rick gave us both a big hug.

The house is a mess and I feel sad.

Thank you Rick for all you did for us.

So many little thoughtful things.

Now where do I start.

I am glad dad will be doing all the vaccuning.

I do not know how to spell vacum.

I ill start by taking my stuff out of dad's bathroom.

Rick put the sheets in the washing machine first thing this morning.

I got the test results and there is no infection.

I have entered old age with tiredness and weakness,

Well I must

Dad put Spenser out of the way.

He has had a walk.

I am resting.

Us old ladies need our rest.

Yes I am happy Rick has done so well.

Now dad and I need to get to work

 

ENTHUSIASM

                                              What enthusiastic cooks!  What a fantastic breakfast!

                                         Thanks Sandra and Randy.  Did I see a few new gray hairs?

                                         Our children have all turned into amazing cooks!

They are a busy pair, always building and gardening and painting and texting.  After they left dad tackled the dishes and I took Spenser for a long walk.  Then it was time for a short nap.  

Rick is busy shedding papers, no secrets to be left here or ending up at the post office..  Packing and sorting is a tiring job.  I am starting to realize he is leaving. 

He took time out to visit Ophelia and Astrid at the park from a distance.  Craig brought the girls over their.

Astrid was happy but Ophelia was not.  She was feeling shy.  Maybe the next visit will be better.

It was a cool day but being at the park can be fun anytime.

Dad took off to Canada Tire and I cut the grass at the side of the house.

The little neighbor boys came to take Spenser for his second walk.  Rik ha some little eggs left over and they were so happy to get them.  Happy Easter and  thank you as they waved good bye.

Rick cooked a wonderful supper and went back to packing.

His visit has had some difficult moments but he has been a great help. 

It will be a sad day to-morrow.

 

GOOD FRIDAY

The cross by the road side reminds us of a youth ha]who life ended too soon.

The life of Jesus ended so quickly and unexpectedly for those who followed hiom.

"Dying is the greatest  act of love that opened the door of the Kingdom to all generations and for all people.  None of us will live forever but will do our best to help others who are suffering in any small way we can.

Good Friday is a Holy Day a day to mourn.

I can replace the same of the past as I let go of the shame.

I know the heart within us is vulnerable

and at the foot of the cross we bring all the wounds of the past.

Jesus died to give us life free of shame and guilt.

Today we will welcome a visit from Sandra and Randy for breakfast.

Yesterday Panteli cooked a meal for us at the last minute.

Dad helped by setting the table and making coffee.

"Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies it remains only a seeed,

it cannot produce new life.

Jesus was a man who revealed the life of our Heavenly Father to us.

Unconditional love and truth and grace never die but can produce the fruit of goodness.

Love never dies but lives on in the hearts of those who have loved with all their hearts and souls and mind.  Healing and new life fill  us with renewed joy!

 

HIDDEN

The hidden message of Easter.

Love never dies.

Hope springs eternal.

Look for the beauty that touches the soul.

 I sense that we are all feeling very stress.  Rick and dad have the odd good day but still some difficult days.  Healing takes time especially when you do not know exactly what is causing the problems.  We live in hope and in the love of each other.

 Birthdays keep coming.  Happy Birthday Randy.  Love ya!