MISSED

                          Slept in, missed church and had a visit with Craig and Opehia and Astrid.
            Dad jumped out of bed to drive over to the Safeway to picl up bread and milk and cookies.

                                             The girls were very busy bringing out the toys

They both had fun with the nets.

I do worry about them in the back yard with all the rocks.

A lovely warm day.

Too soon it was time to say good-bye.

                                      We take life as it comes and I am feeling stronger

.                              I am shutting the door to the past and welcoming the future/

ACCEPTANCE

It is in grief's darkest hour

we really need to know 

that only in acceptance

new hope begins to grow.

Acceptance when it finally comes

begins to bring relief.

As healing hope restores our our souls

and strengthens our belief.

Light can emerge from darkness

when acceptance shows its face

As we allow ourselves to  heal

through God'd own loving grace.

_ Bilda L. Sanderson. 

We are all wounded people finding our way.

Time to open the doors and let the fresh air in.

The harshness of winter has gone and the miracle of new grow is here.

Happy Birthday to Randy April 1.

DELIGHTFUL

Carol arrives with Ophelia and they hang up their jackets.  The beginning of a delightful visit!

Whoops she takes a tumble

Craig had to find some one at the last minute to take care of Ophelia as the day care was worried Thar she was getting sick.  The best place was at our house.  We had a delightful visit with her and Carol.

Craig is coming back on Sunday morning to haveanother visit with us.

BUSY

Nature is busy pushing itself out from the dark earth into brilliant colors.  Every time I am in the garden I see more beauty coming to life.

Yesterday was a busy day dad and I drove into Carol and Panteli's to have breakfast with them and Kim.  Lots of fun to eat breakfast out with good story tellers dad and Panteli.  In the afternoon I had the Jet Lag ladies meeting at the church and dad went for a big bike ride to the dogie park not to the Watershed.  He met an old friend and made lots of dog friends.

It is good for us to keep busy enjoying friends and family and the beauty of nature.

Too much thinking will remind us of the worries and stresses that are always with us.

Jesus reminds us to look at nature and the beauty of moments that inspire us.  He told us to look at the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.  Stop worrying about things we do not understand and cannot change.

Worries will still try to come to mind but the presence of God is a powerful reminder of how important our presence is in the lives of others.

"Life is beautiful in all it's complexity and glory!
Magrey R. deVega

"There was a wound in a gentle heart from
  which life's sweetness seemed to ebb.
while slow years went by.

Yet as they passed an angel stole
and lay a balm of healing on the pain
till Love grew purer in the heart made whole
 and peace comes back again."
-unknown

While we are busy caring for each other
God is busy healing us.

ANCESTORS

                                             There is beauty in us even as we grow old!
                                       This is when the beauty of the soul can shine through!.

Sad to get the phone call from Australia about my distant cousin Adeline Mooney.  We had a visit with her many years ago and have kept in touch with letters.  She was 94.  My brother Brain also kept in touch.  I talked with him for awhile about the Bowron family tree on Monday.  Yes there was the
a lake named after a Bowron man who had travelled to Barkerville. John Bowron did not become rich finding gold but had a rich life there becoming the Gold Commissioner. A ranch in New Zealand called the Bowron sheep ranch.

Adeline loved to hear about her Bowron ancestors and my brother was very good at filling in the stories of the past.  I wrote about our family and try to include her in our adventures.  She always wanted to know more especially as she felt beaten down by life especially as she got older and learned of our health problems.

Her writing became harder and harder to read.  In her last letter to me she asked what church we went to.  As I was thinking about this I found a card among the stack of cards I keep on hand which had a short encouraging prayer on it.  I was moved to send it and I am so glad I did.

I know she received our letter with great enthusiasum and I am thankful that both my brother and I kept in touch.  This really touched her heart I know.

WARM HUGS

So good to spend time together.

What an inspiring family we have!

                                            Warm hugs and great food made the day very special!
                                      I really appreciate the love I have experienced from all the girls.

                                           There us a special bond between us as women.

                                              Hugs from grandsons are special too.

                                           Randy and Hamet are greast huggers too.

                         Surrounded by all these beautiful people is very healing for me and grandpa!

INSPIRATION

                          Our friend Pat whose 80th birthday we attended on Friday evenning.
She is a warm and carinperson whohas been an inspiraion to me.  She has come through some tough times andat the age of 60 went back to Univercity and started working at the Bay.  She and her husband Bob attend our church and have touch the lives of many.

I would often run into her at the hospital visiting family and friends.

We enjoyed the party and hearing about her life story.

Sat. afternoon Cathy Tavia's mom stopped by for a visit.  She is a young 60 and getting a master's degree. We have supported her by helping with the care of her five children.

Both these friends have taught me a lot about unconditional love and courage that inspires us to keep going.

BREAKTHOROUGH

Dad and I attended the Spring Tea at Colebrook Church.  Some old friends surprised by being there.
This was at the end when we were just leaving.  The place was packed with a lot of happy people.
Several friends mentioned that dad should not be climbing ladders anymore, the word had got out about his fall from the ladder trying to get into the attic.

Several people mentioned how calm I looked and I did feel calm.

Dad and I have had a breakthrough in our communications with one another.  We have both been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and talking.

"You are always moving toward healing all those broken places within you that are wounded."
Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

Yes we all have some broken places in our heart.  We all have felt misunderstood at times.

Relationships are always a work in progress and it is wonderful when we are able to see the other persons point of view.  We are both feeling happier.

A lovely spring day that continues to promise us healing and renewing.

I am feeling calm!

DAY BY DAY

                                                   Day by day new flowers burst out in bloom.

Tuesday another busy day working in the yard an dad cleaned out the garage and cut the front lawn.  We then went out to buy a weed whacker to trim the front edge.  Yes we had lunch out at the North View Golf Course.  It is so peaceful there.

Then dad and I got dressed up to attend the thank you party for volunteers at the Seniors Home.

There was a speech about the importance of volunteers but no recognition of who the volunteers were and what they did.  Dad especially was disappointed.  I said hello to a view people I knew and then we left.  There was cake and goodies and even wine.

It has been thirty years that I have visited and I am one of the longest visiting volunteers.

I have enjoyed meeting and visiting and I know my visits are appreciated.

PEACE

Do all you can to live in peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18

Church today to share the passing of Geof Parker-Sutton.  I am thankful Jane has family with her at this time.  Dad and I share their sorrow.  He was a good friend.

Sandra dropped in before I left to church.  She says she is feeling better.

I am feeling more peaceful every day.  Life goes on and we always have lots of good memories.
Dad ceertainly has lots of stories to tell, maybe even some I have not heard.

THE WAY

                                 Yes we had a visit from Tavia and her two boys, Oliver and Atlin.

I was expecting to be on the way to visit Jane in West Van. with Sandra today.  Our plans were cancelled because her husband Geof passed away.  A sad time for all the family.  He was a wonderful man with a kind heart and a gentle soul.  We have missed our get together with them both.

Geof was a doctor in Surrey after finding his way here from England.
He loved boating and taking long walks and loved his family.
Delighting especially in watching his grand children play sports and performing in dance recitals.

His death was to be expected but still very sad.
Life is precious!  In life and death we are not alone.

We all our finding our way through our individual journeys.
We also share our way with others.
At times the way can be dark and sad but we will find new light ahead knowing we are loved.
Hurtful memories can be healed as we comfort one another and pray for one another.


Later in the day dad and I went for a drive and ending up visiting Carol and Panteli and Kim and Hamlet and Haiti!  A lovely warm day!

Spelling can be corrected if I take time to look over what I have written.

LENT

                                                   Good bye snow!

                    A warm and sunny day promises to bring us even more days like this.

A tragic day with the gun violence in Christ Church New Zealand killing at least 49 people.  Our hearts are filled with despair and hopelessness.

"Returning hate for hate, anger with anger multiplies both hate and anger adding deeper darkness and sorrow."  Martin Luther King Jr.

Our day begins with this grim news and continues to be a bad day for dad with his stomach problems.

I drive over to the Seniors Home expecting Joan had returned but she will not be going back there.  I was disappointed.  I visited briefly with two other people and helped people who were lost find the way to the activity room.  I do not like driving and I have decided not to do any more visiting.  At least that is how I feel today.

"I really want to encourage you not to despair, not to lose faith, not to let
 go of God in your life, but stand in your sadness as one who believes she is deeply loved by God."
_  Henri J. Nouwen

Lent is a time for reflection and a time for forgiveness.
A time to be aware of our emotional vulnerability.
A time to be aware of the needs of others.

Love is the only force strong enough to transform these powerful emotions that have the power to destroy ourselves and others.

Lent is a time to embrace suffering by forgiving!

THE WOODPECKER

Don't settle for easy answers in life.

We have a yard full of nice trees for our woodpecker to peck away at.  He is pecking at the top of our back wall.  It was so loud we thought he was in the house.  Finally found the hole he was creating and it was coming into our closet in our bedroom.

Dad put together some thing to stick out the whole and strength the wood around it.
He was sure he had found the answer.

The only trouble was climbing up a ladder inside the closet and try to reach behind the inner wall to stop the problem.  All was going fine until he fell off the ladder and fortunately just got a few bruises and a cut on his arm.

Any fall at our age shakes you up.

That was Wed.  Today he was getting things ready if Oliver stopped by and in making it better for him he was able to block the hole. 

This was a happy experience for us both.

We did my lesson together which was about forgiveness.

We all have made mistakes and said things we do not mean.

We have been learning more about being forgiving that deepens our love for each other.

FAMILY

Family times are wonderful.  Good to see everyone recovering from their colds and hopefully Sandra's shinglels improve.  They are so painful.

A lot of work making supper for all us hungry people with diet problems like vegetarian and gluten free.  Kim ans I were the only two of gluten free so she made a tasty noodle dish as Carol had discovered gluten in the hamburger which was vegetarian.  We are a happy bunch enjoying all the good food and stimulating conversation.  It is good there is help with the clean up.

We ended up talking about self.help books which certainly have their place in enabling us to see where we have gone wrong and how we can change.       All relationships are important and misunderstandings can happen and need to be cleaned up too.

Healing can take time and hidden hurts happen to us all.

The highlight of the evenning was dad and I and Carol sent away our kits to find out about our long lost relatives.  Kim was good to get them for us and we are excited to find about more about our family history.

I now have to do my study lesson and looking forward to being with my friends.

My church friends have been like another family.

UNCERTAINTY

This was the topic for our sermon in church and it really hit home Io me as I feel uncertain about writing this blog.

Dad and I were very low on energy on Saturday and did not even go out.  We certainly appreciated the visit with Sandra and Randy.  We love to hear what is happening in their lives  with painting walls and even murals in the bedroom.  It is good when we can work together.

We can be uncertain about a lot of things and certainly about some relationships

This causes me pain.

I am thankful for dad's faithful support.

Dad is uncertain about his bike motor starting and stopping.

I was uncertain when I went to start the car after church today and it refused to start.  Yes, I asked for help.

Getting older can make feelings of uncertainly come upon us all.

It is harder for me to gather my thoughts but I remind myself that I am surrounded by loving family who are like guardian angels bring healing and hope every new day.n
Spiritual light penetrates the darkness of my uncertaintty.

Dinner at Carol's and Panteli's on Momday.
  Yeah!  !  !

LEARNING

                                                Light snow fall Friday morning
                                                  We drove down to White Rock.
                                    Dad had a bike ride in the forest whrn we returned home.

Learning to dress warm early in the morning with layers as the day gets warmer.  Love the sunshine.

I am reading a Chicken Soup Book about retraining the brain.
There is no age limit on learning.
Learning to grow old is the hardest thing we have done.
Learning to be patient is also hard for me personally.

Learning to take the first step forward is so important.

                                              I love seeing the foot prints of others. 

Learning more about politics with the testimonies on T.V. 

We all experience every situation differently and can even remember different things.

Learning to listen and be aware of all my emotions.
Even anger needs to be expressed especially when it flows out of love.

INVIGORATING

               Still lots of snow on our street.  The cold air in the mornong is very invigorating.
                                    A light snow expected to-morrow evening.

Panteli dropped off Carol and we were off to Art Napps to return the present of a coat we bought her for her birthday.  She is able to talk now and is gradually getting better.  There have been a lot of colds and sore throats here this year.  It is fun just to walk around that store it is so very interesting,

After a bite to eat we drove to see the Abbey Field little houses again with Carol.  They are designed for just one person so we will not put our application in.  We are not ready to move anywhere for awhile.

My goal is to keep up my walking every morning and to plan outings every day. 

I am reading scripture in the morning and finding it comforting. 

There is a lot of wisdom that comes to us from the past.

I am changing my way of thinking and it is invigorating to feel more alive again!

"My grace is sufficient for you (says the Lord)
for power is perfected in weakness."

DECENCY

"Every person has inside a basic decency an goodness

If he listens to it and acts upon it

he is giving a good deal of what the world needs most.

It is not complicated but takes courage

for a person to listen and to act on it.

Dad drove me to go visiting at the Home again.  I met a delightful lady from England who reminds me so much of Jane.  I am not committing myself but I feel better about myself if I can cheer some one else up a bit. We both felt like we had made a friend today.

Dad went for a bike ride when we got home even though it was darn cold.

"Real joy comes from . . . .from doing something worthwhile"

-Sir Wilfred Grenfel'.

BELONGING

                      I feel that one of the most important thing in life that I value is a sense of belonging.

Sunday was another beautiful sunny day.  I get a warm feeling of belonging as I enter the church.
What dear friends we have!

After lunch we decided to drive in to see Carol and Kim and Hamlet and Ben,  Carol cannot talk an certaily looks very pale.  She made us tea and some of my favorite cookies.

I shared a bit with Kim and Hamlet.

I was deeply touched and moved by the love and support I was given.

"True unconditional love is sacrificial
It is not easily offended
or self=focused or afraid of rejection."
E/  Stanley

Sometimes it is good to be alone while other times it is good to be with the family you belong to, who care and love you.

LIFE GOES ON.

The blue sky stretches out farther and farther,
The daily sense of failure goes away,
the damage that I have done to myself  fades away.
A million suns come forward with light
whenI sit firmly in that world.  -Kabir

Problems seem to come all at once and it is hard to see the beauty

that we can still experience with awe and wonder in the midist of it all.

We have made many mistakes and again today we got the date mixed up for Oliver, Tavia's little boy's birthday.  She phoned to see how we were.  I felt very badly.

We had a phone call from my brother Brian asking for prayers.  Traudlhas fallen and broken her tail bone and her rib.  She was in hospital but now is at home getting a care person coming morning and night.  Other than tat Brian is doing all the care.  She lives on the ground floor so he has to take meals up and down.  There has been problems with medication especially the Chemo for prevention of cancer.

Dad is having more problems with his feet and his balance.  Tis concerns us both.

None of us know what the future holds and it is a challenge to face each day with hope.

"In Chernobyl right in the contaminated area plants are growing and birds are singing."
- Rupert Sheldrake.

ABBEY FIELD

                                             Litle houses for healthy seniors

Dad and I drove to Tsawwassen to see this place by St. David's church.  A lovely sunny day for a drive.  I thought we would drive to meet Sandra and Randy at White Rock but this was not happened.

Yes she has the shingles and should have gone in earlier. 

She has gallstones too.

Carol now has laringitus so all plans are on hold.

Dad feels like he is getting a cold. 

BEGIN

Sometimes we have to relive a painful past in order to really have a new beginning.  This is tough and one of the most difficult things I have had to do.  It is never easy for anyone of us.

I know that I have been confident and strong in many areas of my life but I also know I have struggled with insecurity,

To be a healthy family we all need to do some soul searching that heals and restores us.

There are many root causes of insecurity.
No one has had perfect parents.
There has been some instability in our childhood.
There may have been the abuse of anger, or even physical abuse.

A significant loss.
The loss of a grandchild at birth difficult for the mother.
The loss of an another  child only months old.
The loss of innocence.
Failures and rejection.
Abuse.

Change
The death of our parents.
A move away from friends and family.
Our children moving away.
Health problems in our bodies
Health problems that our children experience.

If I really want to begin a fresh I will deal with all the emotions of the past
and let healing come into my soul a little bit everyday, with the dawn of every new day.

I have gray hair and wrinkles but I need to value myself for who I have become.

Jesus knows it is scary to be a human being.
He was one of us!