RAINY

I am looking forward to brighter happier days ahead.

A time to restore wonder and happiness.

Very heavy rain so dad rode his indoor bike.

I had a slow day as I had a painful night sick to my stomach.  Not sure what the cause?

I cancelled our visit with Cathy and Glen.

To-morrow is the craft day at the church which I hope to attend.

"Working with what we have been given is a deeper journey

because that allows us to experience both suffering and joy

wrapped in love."

Mark Nepo

THE PATH

        Dona is always the first one to put her Christmas decorations out.

I am happy to see her do it again this year.

Dad had a busy day to day, blowing out dirt and leaves from the garage.  It was a sunny day so a good day for a bike ride.I have been on this path since I was very young. Over the years there have been many experiences some that have knocked me down while others have lifted me up.  Each experience has shaped and changed me.

Today the road got a little bumpy which I did not expect at this time of my life.

I say stupid things with out thinking.

We can all be vulnerable at any age1

Cathy G. phone and invited

us over to see their new home in Langley.

Ken phoned but he does not know about the house he put an offer on.  It needs some fixing up which makes it affordable.  Big Christmas party at work this week-end.  Ken took the day off.

We all carry on especially when you know you are on the right path!

"If we had power over the ends of the earth

it would not give us that fulfillment of existence

which a quiet devoted relationship to a nearby life can give us,"

Martin Buber

JOY

                          The days are short and the darkness comes so quickly in the evening.
                              I am reminded to look for moments of joy in my day.

                             The mornings are welcomed with a prayer of thankfulness.

Today was are day at the church for our Jet Lag Bible study.  We were also wrapping up little gift bags.  We also collect food for the food bank as part of our living out what we believe, which is helping others.  There is a very strong bond of friendship that has developed over the years.  At this point of time life is a challenge for many of us but we always find things to laugh about.

Staying close to what is important.

Dad had a quiet day at home recovering from his falls on the bike but also it was raining.  I was happy he volunteered to go to the store when I got home.  We agree it is very important for us to go out every day.

Sharing my knowledge with my friends is very special as we continue to learn together.

I feel I am qualified to be a spiritual journalist for many reasons.  I read a lot of different books that continue to help me think and plan my life.

I have been very active in my church taking on leadership roles from Sunday school teacher to the head of the department.  Then I was president of U.C.W. and chairperson of council.  You learn a lot about people when you have to work together, sharing goals and ideas.

You learn to forgive.

I even started a Bible study friendship group in our old neighborhood.  It was through this that Thelma Inkster and I became best friends.

Friendship means a lot to me.

I also took a course to be a lay-chaplain and started visiting at the hospital one day a week.  It took courage for me to visit a lot of lonely and sad people they brought joy and meaning into my life as we would talk and share together.

I have been a good neighbor visiting the elderly people on my street.  Now dad and I are the oldies now.

Dad and I have delivered food to those in need and also worked in soup kitchens down town.

My life has been richer for me because of the spiritual that gives life meaning and joy  to myself and to others.

ADVENTURE

                                       Life is always an adventure when Randy is cooking supper.
                                          Another delicious dish dad and I both really enjoyed.

Dad had a very adventurous ride in the Watershed Park where he had several serious falls on his bike.
I am not happy with him taking more dangerous trails.

What a mess when he came in the door covered with needles and leaves and dirt.  I had just finished vacuuming.  I was not to happy until I found out what had happened.  He had one little cut on his leg and he look like he was in a bit of a shock when I took a second look at him.  No bones broken and the bike also was okay. 

Dad does like adventures!

We arrived late for our visit with Pat and John as dad needed to catch his breath and recover.  Once we arrived we enjoy a stimulating visit.  We appreciate their warm friendship.

From there we drove right to Sandra and Randy's house for supper and to catch up on family news.
They are already planning an adventurous trip in July with Mary and the children and Randy driving the bus!

Too tired to write any more.  An enjoyable day!

FAMLY TIMES

A happy pair.

This is Haiti's favorite spot now.

This is taken with dad's eye phone.

Monday was a day of heavy rain and fortunately I had an early walk with Aneta.

It was too depressing just to stay home so we ate out aat Brown's and then went to the Safeway to get a few groceries.  Even that was tiring.

Had a good long chat with Rick on the phone.  Good news he will be coming for Christmas.  Our big celebration will be Christmas Eve as Hamlet has to return to work on Christmas day.  For many years dad would have a choice of either having Christmas day off or New Year's Day.  I think he usually got Christmas day off.

Tuesday we are going over to visit Pat and John.  We are trying to keep in touch with old friends.

Lots to catch up on.  Should be a long visit.  Then it is over to Sandra and Randy for a home cooked meal.  Randy will be doing the honors.  Another good day.

Wed. I have Jet Lag Bible study at the church.  Our friendship as well as our desire to keep learning has kept us active at this study.  I find the more I put into my preparations the more I get out of it.

I am very tradition in my understanding of scripture but I continually discover something new.

I guess this qualifies me for qualifying as a spiritual investigator.  More about this to-morrow.

I love sharing what I find meaningful in my ordinary family life as well as my spiritual walk with Jesus.

I have learned to live life prayerfully with a thankful heart. 

Happiness has been my reward that has blessed my life with the joy of family times!

MILESTONE

                                           I have written and published 4,310 blogs
                                              I guess that is a milestone.
                                        I guess I will try for 5,000!  Are you ready?

I had an early morning walk in the cold early morning mist.  There was no sign of any dog walkers.  The only person I met was an old East Indian lady covered from head to toe.  We waved at each other recognizing another brave soul.

Dad and I did get to church even though we were a few minutes late.  The message was about Jesus, the word, becoming flesh.  His life a miracle that lights up our world with the magic of hope and faith  that lives on in each one of us today.

I came home and had a short rest then we returned to the church for a funeral service.  It was in memory of Micki Coulter.  They lived at the top of our street.  We knew Gwen and her brother.  We met a lot of people who used to come to our church wen they came as a family.  I kept a prayer that dad prayed for her dad when he passed away.

We met Annie Coulter I believe the mother of Ross Coulter, one of Rick's good friends.  Rick,s first grade teacher came and introduced her self to us.  She remembered Rick as being very likeable and very nice looking!

I did some study of Abraham, who lied about his wife being his sister and she was taken into the king's haram.  God protected her by warning him in a dream not to touch her. 

We get into trouble when we try to fix things in our way not listening to what God can do.

Talked to Mary on the phone, always good to hear her voice.

"May you O Lord bring hope to the hopeless
comfort the grieving
set the captives free.

May your presence go with us as we experience the promises of strength and courage."

SPIRITUAL INVESTIGATOR

I like this name Kim called me.  You can put it on my grave stone.  I do not want a funeral especially as there will be no familiar church.  Just have a loud and noisy family party.  I will be there in spirit.

Dad has written a new blog about his hockey career.

I came home from my morning walk in the chilly rain chilled right to the bone.  Took all morning to warm up.  I had several cat-naps because I think I got over-tired on Thursday.
  It was a very delightful almost perfect day.  We even had a visit to the book store.

I have been reading a book called "Costly Grace" by Rob Schenck.  He describes his faith journey which was very similar to mine.  We read a lot of the same books and listen to some of the same programs on  the radio.

The main purpose of his book is to encourage each of us to do a deep spiritual introspection of what we believe and what our churches teach us.  How has the political influenced our denomination?  Have we watered down the message? 

 I understand we share our humanity, as believers and as no-believers.  We are all in this together , Christian Jew Muslim and other. 

I will continue to support good causes by sharing my thoughts and what I am learning.

Rob Schenck was greatly influenced by Dietrick Bonhoeffer who made him look more deeply in to the Bible and finding out the words of Jesus speaking to him to speak out on issues like gun control and the acceptance of the gay community.  He challenges the evangelical community with a strong message to face their fears and refrain from hate and violence.

There is a lot to be discovered and discussed if we are willing to search for the truth.

Dad did go for a bike ride and picked up some cookies from the store.  He has been feeling so much better.

We offered to help Aneta take some boxes over to her new apartment but she says she does not need it.  The old neighbors are being very kind and helpful.

I would end with the thought that it is so important to be a good neighbor!

SMILES

A delightful day full of friendly people and happy family smiles!

I realize more and more how important it is to live in the present.

It is time to let the past fade and for each new day remind us of our common humanity.  None of us know our future and that is probably just as well.  The sun shines and the world around me is waking up to a new day.  Prayer helps me to focus on what is important starting with thoughts of my precious family and dear friends.  There are health benefits with prayer as words of faith and love are joined with all that is and all that will be.

Amazing grace that flows from the smile of heaven that shines on us all.

COSTLY GRACE

Good to have some sunshine.  Dad went for an early bike ride which is a great lift to his spirits.

I walked with Aneta who is now quoting me and that seems funny.  She likes my opinion on many things.  She is very stressed about her move next Thursday.  I tell her she is doing well.

Dad and I will do a little shopping today for pj's for gift giving at the church and also some toy. 
We do not shop very long and now the stores and parking lots are getting more crowded.

I hope the Post Office strike is over soon.  They have a lot of mail that is piling up.

I am reading about Bonhoeffer who was a minister in the time of  Hitler.  He refused to salute him but he also gave a strong message to the church about their failure to also stand firm in their beliefs.  He ended up going to jail   He would continue to keep in touch with his family because the guards would sneak out his mail because he treated them with respect and kindness.

He wrote that every Christian needs spiritual direction and continued to write and express his beliefs.
His core belief was in "costly grace" which he lived and challenged the church to do the same.

"Costly Grace is the hidden treasure in the field.
A gospel that must be sought again and again.
The door at which one must knock.
A call for discipleship.

Above all grace is costly
because it was costly to God
It cost God the life of His Son."

CERTAINTY

Dad and I were pleased to have a visit with family at Carol and Panteli's.  It is so interesting to catch up with Oliver and with Kim and Carol.  Everyone of them are looking forward to an exciting future and there is a certainty about all their plans.  Forgot my camera.

We enjoyed a meal and also the lively conversation.  Ben came home later as he had a soccer practice.  Haiti loves to have all these people around and always is so excited to see us.

We met Carol at the Wood-n-Frog first to go and visit grannies grave.  The pot we had put there was broken and looked very sad.  We brought another container and added red and white flowers.  It will be easy to find her grave now that is for sure.

I got a new purse at the second hand store.  It is white and big.  I hope I will be able to find it easier.  Yesterday it was dad who could not find his wallet.  

Sometimes I wonder about what I did with my life.  I have tried my best to treat others with kindness and be generous with my time.  I look at all my wonderful family and I am very proud of each one of them.

When we know who we are we will touch many others along the way and our presence will always be what really matters.

HERE AND NOW

Sunday was a perfect day to walk down to the duck pond.

                                          It is so beautiful and peaceful there,

                                        The ducks hear me coming so run to the edge of the water.
I have to confess by the time I got home I was too tried to go visiting.  I was determined to go today and I did.  I like to think of this as my faith in action as I spend time in Joan's tiny room sitting across from her in a big chair.  She is always delighted to see me and openly shares her troubles with me.  I am always reminded of how blessed I am to have my family.

I am writing Monday night.  Dad did not feel up to going to Carol and Paneli's home to visit with Oliver and everyone.  His tummy was a little upset but not too bad but he has a runny nose and has taken an antihistamine which has made him sleepy.

He had a busy day washing windows and then going for a bike ride. 

Aneta stopped in after our walk to give dad some of her favorite little plates because she knows he likes dishes more than I do.  I also had just given some away so there will be room enough for the new ones.  She was so pleased to see how pleased he was to have them.

I have written a lot about my conflicting emotions about our church decision.  Yes there is a lot wrong with religion and yet as I think back the church has played an important role in my life.  As a young mother I was searching for friendship as well as a deeper relationship with God. 

I have had many experiences in my walk of faith and some have impacted me more than words can say.  Faith is a journey into mystery.

We are to love one another with courage and kindness and simple grace.

So here I am now with wonderful friends to share my faith with.

MISGIVINGS

                    A  cold Sunday morning.  I am up early as usual but decided not to attend church.

I find that my energy is quickly used up and I planned to go visiting at the Seniors Home.  My goal is to try to visit once a week but the week seems to go by so quickly and I have not fulfilled this goal.
Sadly this happened again today.

I have been writing out my thoughts about the United Church.  This is where my journey started as a child but now I am finding the changes a little bit more than I am comfortable with.  The Sun has the article about a high profile atheist could remain as a United Church minister.

She basically demanded her right to believe and proclaim the superiority of atheism over the belief in God.  Her name is Grette Vosper.

So what this means is that the United Church lacks clarity and integrity.
I know many people who do not attend church and are very against religion in any form but still they believe in God, in some form or another.

I was brought up with traditional values and the integrity of church built on scripture.

Yes I believe that God's love includes us all but Douglas Todd states we may become so  focused on pleasing others we are in danger of losing our soul!

Dad had his bike ride and I had a walk and got busy cleaning up and decluttering for a pick up in the morning.  Dad even got into the spirit of it.  I do a little and then I rest.

SOMETIMES

                                         Sometimes things turn out all right in the end but. . . .
I felt like I was getting a cold and did not feel like going for my walk.  Then the sun shone through the clouds and shone on the mountains white with snow.  It was very beautiful.

Dad had a bit of a stomach problem so I suggested we cancel our hear aid appointment at Costco.  We decided to go anyway and fortunately he felt better.


We were able to get a parking spot right near the door.  Another car seemed to be heading for it and we sure were not going to let them have it.  The parking there is a real nightmare and sometimes you get lucky and find the right spot.

I had walked over to the Safeway to buy something to clean wood floors and bought the wrong stuff and left my wallet in my jacket pocket.

We were early so I waited in a long line to buy some GF bread I really like and it is also cheaper.
I went to pay and did not have any money.  My wallet was not in my purse.  I went to get dad to pay and came back and someone had put my bread back on the shell anyway it was not there.  The cashier helper went to the fair end of the store to get me some more.  That was very kind of her.

My one hearing aid was not working and the man told me I was trying to fix it with the wrong little
screws.  He went to get me some right ones but now I am home and have mixed them up.

For now they are both working.

This experience of hearing loss is driving me crazy.  We stopped at Milestones and I ordered a drink.  Dad was very surprised and thought it was funny.

I feel that learning to hear better will make me a better listener.

I started out my morning saying to myself I was going to be thankful because I really do have a lot to be thankful for.  I think the devil, the same one who interfered with Job's life, laughed and said he could test me.

To-morrow is another day.

To-night I am thankful to be home and to have a loving husband!

I am thankful to have a home!

RENEWAL

                                           Early morning walk captures the lights on the trees.
                                This tree has become barren but within its trunk and branches there flows life.

I am now looking at my notes from the two past days.  Our study group is good for many reasons.  We are committed to continue to learn and to examine our faith.  We all start out with a second hand faith that we learn from parents and teachers and ministers.

These dear friends are very involved with the work of keeping the church alive and active.  We all express our love in different ways and there are no right or wrong answers to the questions we are reading.  Yes, we have had meetings when someone talks to much about their unsolvable problems.
Yes we have all know times like this.  We listen but encourage each other to live prayerfully with a spirit of grace.

The message of Job contains a message of tough love that challenges us to keep going on even when we feel like we have lost everything.  Our possessions, our home, our family our health.

Only in the wisdom of a loving God can our inner strength be renewed and new life flow deep within us.

Today has been a better day for dad and that means for me too.  He had a walk around the block but it was drizzling rain all day and chilly.  He missed his bike ride in the forest which he enjoys so much.  Instead we went to the library and then to Shoppers and then to White Spot for dad to enjoy a turkey dinner not fish and chips.

There have been times when my faith has needed renewal and I am sure that will be the way it will always be. 

I will always try to live as a follower of Jesus Christ with a sacred curiosity about what this means.

STORIES

It was sunny but chilly.  We read some of the other inscriptions on the grave stones.  One thinks of all the stories that are buried and forgotten.  Every life has its own struggle and its own joys.  We are all connected by these and the most important thing is to be connected with others.

Carol and Panteli dropped by to celebrate his birthday with us.  Carol provided the cake and the presents.

Dad had another bad stomach day so we have to get real serious trying to find solutions.  ////////te good thing was Haiti was here for a visit and kept dad company.

I read the book of Job again and always find a new story hidden behind the words.

Job's friends come to comfort him but when they give their opinions they just add to his misery.

We have found that it is not always easy to be a friend even when you want to be helpful.

Job becomes impatient and expresses a deep anger towards God.

God answer him in the last five chapters expressed in the most remarkable nature poetry sighting the wonders of creation.  Job is now face to face with God.  What he heard was that convention wisdom as understood by tradition cannot replace God the one who was Wisdom.

Job had lived a life of righteousness without having a true and deep relationship with God.

Satan comes to destroy this relationship of love and trust and dependance.

This experience  of God changed him and all suffering changes us.

All believers not matter how righteous will encounter the unexplainable mystery of God and the mystery of suffering.

HANGING ON

Some days I feel just like these leaves just hanging on.

A very cold morning with frost on the roofs of the houses across from us.  The temperature says -1.

I hope fall will hang on a little longer and today the sun comes out and warms things up.

I am reminded that in the change of our lives we need to hang on to the best of who we are and continue to learn from every experience.  A day for me to reflect to the way I see the world and the people I meet daily.  We strengthen each other with kind acts of grace.

I have lots of questions about simple truths and also about the more profound ones.

I take out my Bible study lesson which is about Job.  He was certainly a man who hung on to his faith in the goodness of God even in the midst of pain and suffering.

We take a drive to clean up granny's grave.  It is such a peaceful place.  There are many flags and poppies that adorn the graves.

I am hanging on to the life I have been given hoping that truth, beauty and meaning will continue to shape and mold me.

TIME

Time to remember those who gave their lives for our freedom.

Time to be thankful for our country.

I woke up feeling sad and concerned about doing the right thing.  Dad's stomach was bothering him again which is very discouraging for him as well as for me.  I thought I would be going to church alone when Sandra appeared at the door to accompany me.  

This certainly raised my spirits.  It was a very meaningful service but Sandra did not know any of the hymns which was disappointing.  It will be our last remembrance day service as we will be closing next October.  We are undecided about what to do when the time comes.

Time to accept that life is changing and I will have to find a new church home.

Time to believe and trust that the spirit will guide us into our future.

Time to shut the door of my mind on doubts and insecurities.

Time for a visit with Kim, Morgan, Carol and Panteli.  They just had time for a short visit before going to another movie.  What a happy group!

Time to look forward to a new day with time to enjoy life and love and fresh air and short walks.

REDEEMABLE

                                                A very cold morning with a beautiful blue sky.

I enjoy the quiet that continues on my walk.  Not many people are out this early.

Later in the morning finds dad and I at the walk in clinic where we have taken our friend to see the doctor.  He is a very kind and caring doctor so people are going in very slowly.  We end up waiting over two hours.  

        I wish I was home continuing to rake up the multitude of leaves.

There are days when I find myself asking why did I promise to help this friend.

I try to keep calm and be positive knowing that this has been a mistake.  Dad has to leave his stomach is upset .  The good thing is that we are close to home.  

The nurses are kind and considerate and the doctor asks my opinion and I feel very award wanting to be truthful but I cannot really answer what I do not know for sure.  Should our friend have her driving license?  I know she drives right on the speed limit and has had no accidents.  Her family should have been there to answer these questions and now I wonder why they are not here.

We are all human beings trying to make our way in life.

I try to remind myself of this as I return home feeling annoyed and angry.

Every day has redeemable moments and I am trusting this day will have these moments too.

FAREWELL

  

The family gathered at Carol and Panteli's home for a final farewell supper for Tyler and Aslinn.

We have enjoyed this visit with these two very interesting young people.  It was fun to hear about all he places they have visited and there future plans to visit New Zealand.

Lots of great stories from them and from grandpa our story teller.

Both Carol and Sandra have taken on family hospitality with great enthusiasm and efficiency.

We sure appreciate this.

For me this week has been interesting.

A good meeting at church with the Golden Oldies.  There is still lots of life let in get togetherness.

Yesterday I spent time visiting Joan in the Seniors Home.  She was feeling very unhappy wondering why still is still alive and what meaning does her life have.

Beneath the surface of each one of our lives is an ache that we try to bury but it can return at any time.

Life is better if we can keep busy.

My faith comforts me when I feel an ache in my soul.

Prayers are not always answered but I know I have been heard.

WINE

Time to finish the last of the summer wine.

                                                   This computer is driving me to drink.

I spent far to much time trying to put on pictures.  I do not like spending a lot of time on the computer.  I get frustrated and go to bed while dad who knows more than me and who is more patient continues to work on the pictures so we can see what is what.  I really appreciate the fact that he works so hard to get it working.

I am starting a new routine, after my walk I put my hearing aids in.  I hope dad puts his in too.

I have to accept somethings just as they are and not be emotionally reactive.  

"Self-knowing awareness not only helps me to understand my own life and purpose but has the potential to help me be more compassionate with others."  Malika Chopra

We will enjoy a glass together to-night.

CALM

                                                My goal today is to try and feel calm.

I will do my best when we go to talk about our hearing aids.  I know if I am honest I will say I have not given them a good try.  

My other goal is now to clean up the back yard of rotting leaves especially in the running pond.  I want the water to be okay for the birds and squirrels to drink.

Lovely and fresh and sunny this morning.  I hear the ducks honking as they fly in formation over head.  Brings back so many memories.  I use to wonder where they were going.  I was amazed at how they followed so closely in line.

Looking forward to being with family at Sandra and Randy's.  

So much to be thankful for.

I am not giving up sugar today and when I do it will be a day at a time.

I will write my faults down in my journal with an honest heart.

MOVING

We are moving right along on the freeway to White Rock to see dad's doctor.  He has to come home and do a few tests.  Like a lot of sicknesses you have to eliminate what is not the cause first.  I have been worried and anxious about dad's health or awhile to the point I feel annoyed because we have to do something about it.  It is so easy to get into a rut and not take the next step towards the healing process.

Gone are the days when life seemed like an adventure but now we are searching for the hidden message that we can only learn by facing each day with renewed hope and strength.

Moving right along on that sunny day we ended up having supper out with Carol and Kim and Randy and Sandra' after a visit with Haiti and Panteli.

Sandra hands out the parts for the play we are doing on Sunday when Tyler and Aslinn arrive on their trip from Edmonton.  We are so looking forward to seeing them both.  They love Canada and especially the snow.

Aneta tells me a moving story about her dog Lucy.  Aneta's husband died just a year ago  on Nov. 9th.  Lucy refused for weeks to sleep anywhere but at the front door on the cold hard floor for weeks. On the anniversary of his death she is again sleeping at the front door.  We both had tears in our eyes as she told this story.

wet cold day but I am hearing every little sound.

To-morrow we go and report the success or failure with our hearing.

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding"\Khalil Gibran

All of life has something to teach us about ourselves and about each other.

SIGNS

?

Do people really obey signs?  This is one they will take no notice of.  We had about 50 or more children come to the door.  Most of them Asian, very polite saying Happy Halloween.  Dad and I had fun going to the door but we were worn out by 7:30.  Off went the porch light and off we went to bed.   We watched the hockey and then talked to Ken as he drove to pick up his children.  They had a great holiday, snorkeling and swimming with turtles.

It is good to get away from your problems for awhile.

Everyone has problems and we cannot help everyone.

I am making dad another doctor appointment because he has some other health problems.

We all go through different stages of our life and as we grow older those stages are mostly downhill.

The best we can do is be aware of any signs of poor health
and do the best we can to treat it with the help of a doctor and any medicine if we need it.