Along with the budding flowers and the wonderful sun shine comes the growing grass, the runny nose, the itchy eyes, and a headache and the mess. The mess is all the things that I start to do cleaning cupboards and windows, sorting papers and junk I have collected and just find it hard to throw out. I want to go through my books and decide what to give away but they just end up in a messy pile. My life is a mess of unfinished tasks and plans that do not always work out. I wanted to work in the garden but that did not happen. I have a pile of books, some from the library, that I want to read but right now the Olympics seem to draw you in. The stories in the newspaper have made the athletes seem more real and I think just getting in the competition is amazing.
Because it is lent, a time to withdraw from worldly busyness, I am trying to pray more and reflect on the real message of Jesus. It too seems a bit messy as I try to figure out what he was really saying and meaning. Jesus had a habit of collecting and reaching out to the imperfect and hopelessly flawed to call them to be his disciples. I compare myself with others and realize that I am different. I find meetings exhausting and often I end up with more questions than answers. Yes, there are often people who I would define as spiritual troublemakers, that seem to have different goals than me.
I see the brave souls, that are suffering and battling with disease, and they inspire us with their courage and sense of humor. I look at the athelites hurling helter-skelter, up-side down over bumps and through dangerous tunnels and I see the bone-shattering crashes that end all their hopes and dreams in one moment.
I can promise myself that I will do better, that I will finesh what I start and that I will use my time more productively but in my heart I know how hard it is to change. Religion is facing the need to change and right now it seems to be a mess of talking and no answers. Maybe it is at the moment when our lives seem to be crashing we also see our need to be loved and our need to give ourselves, imperfect but honest to the One who waits in our darkness to bring us light!
3 comments:
My mystery book I am reading right now is about a church and change, and murder of course! I will lend it to you after...well, asuming you have cleaned up your present book stash first.
Sandra
Thanks, that will be a good motivator and I always read more than one book at once. I have not done my walk but I must do some work cleaning up the garden. Our little deck was a horrible mess.
love mom
why was your deck a mess? And if you are doing the garden better do in today before the rain starts again.
Sandra
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