POSITIVE

The sky does not look too promising.

                                                        Felt very positive on my walk.

Dad and I drove into pick up Carol so we could go shopping together at the new shopping Center.  I was returning  a top she had bought me for Christmas.  Very pretty but it did not suite me.  We look around for some thing to replace it but I just did not find anything.  This is not unusual as I have a hard time choosing clothes at any time.  Dad was able to find some coveralls but on getting them home he had bought the wrong size.

We enjoyed visiting with Carol and also Haiti.  Panteli left for work while we had a snack.

I am thankful my new work book  starts out very positively looking at the good qualities we all share.

I have helped many people in my life and am reminded of the love that surrounds me.

We may have rain to-morrow but we have had a lot of very good weather.  I have a good rain jacket!

WORK

Dad and  worked very hard, he did the hardest part sawing out the big branches.  I walked to the store a second time to get the right size of brown bags.  We filled up three more big bags and swept off the sidewalk.  It was fun working together.

We sat out on the front porch to have lunch and then I was going to have a nap and dad went to the garage to ride hi bike.  Just then Pat and John stopped in for a visit.  It was good to have a few laughs with them, our old friends.

I have mixed up feelings of shame with feelings of being hurt.

I now say a prayer when I feel the hurt in my heart knowing that healing love conquers  the intimate self.  Through prayer my soul remembers all the goodness I have received and been given and my heat stops racing and I start to feel calm.

This too is work.

IMPERFECTIONS

The gift of an early morning sunrise helped to lift my spirits.  The man from the city came by to view dad's work on the hedge.  He was amazed and pleased with the job that he had done.  We were both feeling good and we both decided to go visiting.  I had not been to see my friend Joan at the home last week and knowing how important my visits are to her I decided to go.

Dad was also wondering how his friend from work was doing and felt like he should visit too.  He would drop me off at Newton and then go to White Rock Hospital.

                                       I went over to the store to pick up these spring flowers.

When  arrived I was told that Joan was now in the Surrey Hospital and they would not tell me why.

This was upsetting news for me.  

When dad arrived at  the room where his friend Terry was dad was upset to find him in a very frantic state waning to go home and not knowing who dad was.  He let quick;y.

I stayed because I had to wait for dad to pick me up.  The staff found me some one else to visit and she was delightful and appreciated my visit.  I will visit Joan on Friday if she is still in hospital.

As we drive home together we share how both our plans for a perfect visit had no worked out.  We stopped at the White Spot where we have waitresses that are just like friends and they are always so glad to see us.

  I also feel that I have grown as I acknowledged that I am not alone  and we all share some sadness that needs courage to deal with it.  

GROWTH

Come let us reason together.

Sunday was a gray day.  Dad did not feel up to going to church.  By the afternoon we had a short walk to the park together.

I share my story for anyone who has to uncover the lessons of their own journey.

Dad is being supportive as we try to work through the hidden pain that has crippled me.

I believe when Jesus declared he had come to release the captives he meant those who are in prison

whether it be physically or emotionally.

Growth comes from accepting and befriending all my emotions.

Instead of anger and fear I want to feel at peace with myself

A difficult time for both of us.. Our love will carry us through into the light.

"Owing our story and loving ourselves through the process

is the bravest thing we can do.". -  Brene Brown

BEAUTIFUL

                                     Beautiful sunset on the road to Carol and Panteli.s

If we had stayed at home we would not have seen this sunset.

                                        

                                     A beautiful sign that life can be beautiful !

We are looking forward to having afternoon tea with some of our old friends.  All relationships are important to both dad and I.

It has been very painful for me to share what happened to me as a young tee-age girl.

I have come to be aware that this hidden secret has had an affect on me all my life.

The result has been a feeling of insecurity emotionally.

I have a work book that I purchased on Friday which is going to help me face wrong beliefs that I have carried with me all my life.  I now know why I felt so angry and upset when I tried to talk about it.

Our beliefs matter.

A soul that has been in turmoil can find inner peace as I return to the sacredness of every life as I am able to accept love, the love of Jesus, which has always been with me.  I am reassured of dad's love that has been tested at his time also.

I feel the past should not rob me of my future.

Life is beautiful!

CHALLENGES

Life seems full of challenges.  Especially on a day when everything goes wrong.  Finding faith in myself and feeling confused did not help.  My mind seemed to be on one track and only I can fix and heal myself.

I want to be able to trust in the foundation that my life has been built upon and find hope when I feel hopeless.

When everything feels dark and the voices in our heads are full of despairing thoughts it is time to my thoughts turn that sustains. 

It was good to have Sandra drop by and share her frustrating day.

Life can be challenging at any age.

THE CHURCH HALL

This is our church hall.  I am putting this on for Craig and Leah who are asking about having a birthday party there. Everyone at my Bible study thought it was a good idea but there are rules that have to be adhered to.

Dad had his appointment at the dentist and all went well.  Another appointment in several weeks.

Dad showed them our wedding photo at the dentist when we had nice teeth.

How things have changed!

MEMORY

              Always nice to enjoy a family dinner with Carol and Panteli and Kim and Haiti.

Dad had spent Monday morning at the dentist and goes back on Wed. for an root job.  Our teeth are going to be priceless.

I had a walk with Aneta and will be going back to walking with her when it works for her and the dog.

Today we spent the morning going through papers and unopened letters.  Yes we still do that.  Found two checks so right away took them to the bank.

I am slowly reading the book "Christ Actually"

It is amazing how many books have been written about Jesus and continue to be written to this day.

"Symbol and metaphor define the only language which can be used in defining God and this is why Jesus told stories and parables which would live on in the memory of is disciples and followers.  The message was that when we suffer we do not suffer alone.

"Jesus preached a God at home with human complexity and a God who is not defeated by death but lives on in the hearts
and memory of our own experiences."

Every day is a day to make special memories finding joy in the unexpected.

FOOLED

It seemed like a nice day to go to the White Rock beach because the sun was shining and we thought it was warmer than it was.  The wind chilled us to the bone and we did not walk too far along the beach.

In the distance you can see the long pier has been damaged and one part cut off now.
                                             No one can walk there that's for sure.

We went to church and heard the story of turning the water into wine.  The water was in big jugs that were set apart for purification and cleansing.  After Mary the mother of Jesus asked him to see that more wine was provided this water was turned into wine.

Jesus turned water into wine bringing joy to the celebration.

and my prayer is that Jesus will turn wounds into blessings!

POTENTIAL

                     Yes Ben has certainly changed but he still looks good in grandpa's hat.

                              He is a good sport letting me take his picture.
                                          A young man with great potential!
                                     He seems to be growing taller each time I see him.

Friday was a busy day cleaning up the yard but it was good to be out in the fresh air and accomplish our tasks.  We appreciated having supper at Carol and Panteli's with Kim and Ben,

Saturday we could not decide what to do so we did not go out and it was good to be home when Sandra and Randy dropped.  When you take a picture of more than one it can be hard to choose the one picture they look good in.  They are both smiling so that is good.

Life never seems to get boring as dad and I share past experiences that have shaped our lives.

"Life consists of two journeys'

The outward journey of the body through time and space.

and the inner journey of the soul.

The inward journey focuses on creating depth to our existence

discovering who we really are,

Finding meaning and purpose in the story of our life."

For me I need both the outward and the inner journey to help me find security and peace.

Healing the past opens a door to a even greater potential.

I have come a long way but it has not always been easy!

I truly believe that some things are best forgotten.

I am thankful for each new day.

TIME OUT

Dad took some time out from this project to visit one of his old buddies in the hospital Yesterday.
Very sad that he is failing mentally and a nasty fall has out him into hospital.
dad was joined with two others.  We heard he liked grapes but there were now to be had at the store which is unusual so we took a half package we had on hand.  Better than none I guess.

Dad and I are doing a lot of talking and learning more about what is important in our lives, past and present. I never knew how important hockey had been to dad in the years before we met and then after wards.  I knew he loved playing hockey and was good at it.  Things would have been different if I had been able to see him play more.

So we continue to learn about each other.

Bad things happened to both of us during our teen years.

I am learning that our past experiences effect us deeper than we realize and good can come out of bringing them out in the open.

I have always had this sense that I was unworthy of being loved and now I understand why.

Faith is helping me to trust that every experience has the power to absorb pain when we belief that suffering has meaning.

Love has always been there with me and will always reveal this love to me when I can pray about my past and my future.

Human love continues to hold me with lots of hugs and understanding.

Feeling stronger every day.

RENEWAL

Scripture tells us that our minds can be renewed,our attitudes can change, and memories healed we can even be given new names.
For me this is done through prayer and meditation and using the gift of our imagination.  Right now it is helpful for me to know the old burdens can be put down as we clothed ourselves with the beauty of the Spirit.

Light chases away the darkness and newness await for me each day.

Yes Jesus also taught that in this life will be suffering and unfairness and some we have to embrace to be set free and finally healed.

Slowly
I am trying to walk a little farther

Renewal comes as we experience love for ourselves and others.

MIND

                                         Very cold and frosty but the sunshine is wonderful.

I took off yesterday to go visiting at the Home.  It helps take my mind off myself.

I arrive at the front door with several little lap blankets and this old lady was sitting there looking so cold so I asked her is she would like one.  Her eyes lit up and she nodded her head yes.  Right away she wrapped it around herself.  It is nice to see people who have received them

Happiness is like energy that passes from one person to another.

Also my visit with Joan did us both good.

The work that dad is doing in the yard has given him a new lease on life.  He is achieving the goal that he was hoping for.  He gets an idea in his mind and he goes after it.

We enjoyed a visit from Carol and Haiti both looking very happy.

Dad passed his visit with the doctor with flying colors and will be able to continue driving.

We bring others joy with our presence.

The mind will continue to learn through all our human experiences.

COMPLAINTS

We were advised by an official that our hedge needed to be trimmed because a wheel chair could not get by.  A complaint was made and we did not know who to get to do the work.  A big job!

Because it was a sunny day dad decided to give it a try.

Neighbors walking by give him some advice and even others in the car.

They tell him what a good job he is doing.

The outside of the hedge is completely gone.

We should not get any more complaints.

The clean up is another big chore.

Tuesday dad goes to see his doctor and get his medical for his driving license.  I am sure his doctor will find nothing to complain about as he thinks dad is doing well.

LIVELY

The birthday party was very lively as well as entertaining.  Kids running here and here.  I did not get any good pictures except this one.

This is Desirae now a mother of twins and a 5 year old.  It is hard to believe she was a run away teen-ager.  I admire her courage in sharing her story hoping it will help other young girls.

Cathy's 4 girls have all become caring and loving women.  They all look so different and have very different personalities.  We enjoy visiting with each one of them.

Atlin was a very busy one year old.  He loved playing with the wrapping paper.

Dad and I made it to church and it was a lively service with happy music.

I felt embraced by the love of caring friends and the love of Jesus.

This is very healing for me especially at this time.

EVENING.

                      A beautiful evening sky as we drive into Tsawwassen on Friday night.

Kim had  prepared a healthy supper for us with soup and salad.  It was good that Sandra was able to join us after coming from the doctor in White Rock.

Our family has had had a lot of health problems over Christmas which has worn some of us down.  Sandra has bronchitis and had some blood work and an x-ray procedure to check on the pain she is experiencing which she believes is gout.

It is cold today but it is going to be sunny today and for the rest of the week.

This is the way we were!

Today we are going to a party for Atlin, Tavia's one year old.
The whole family will be there at Cathy and Glen's very small bungalow.
We have not seen very much of this busy family.
They have all moved away.

I am trying to do some serious reading.  The book is called "Christ Actually".
Searching for the truth of the past is not always easy or comfortable.

SUNNY

We have made this trip out to Hope and beyond many times.

It was a sunny perfect day.

The sky was full of sun and clouds that moved along with us.

This clock chimed just as I was taking the picture! 

We have many memories, good memories of times we stopped in Hope on our trips east.

There was a delightful little restaurant we would stop and eat at.

Sadly the place has totally changed and had a cold and barren feeling to it.

They had nothing gluten free.

So we walked over past this clock to find another place.

It was similar but I was so hungry I had to eat something.

We were not happy with our choices and we sat on high stools.

The trip was a bit much for us both.

But the wonderful experience of driving through these mountains did was good.

BEGINING

Dad bought me flowers which is a very loving thing to do.

It is love that leads us from brokenness to wholeness.

Dad had an amazing result on his P.S.A. blood test.  Very encouraging.

Nice to receive a card and a picture of the children from Ken.

I am happy we are beginning our study at church today.

I am fortunate to have these dear friends.

I am closing the door on the past, nobody is perfect, and as long as we can look to the future with hope healing is there for us to receive.

TESTING

Sometimes life seems to be testing us to enable us to see the courage and strength we have built up inside ourselves. 
I am grateful for the love that has blessed my life.
I am feeling very hopeful as I listen in prayer and meditation to loving presence.

It was a miserable night with a bucket of rain being dumped upon us followed by a heavy wind. 
I knew it would be very good for us to make the effort to visit Ben and Morgan and Theresa at Carol and Panteli's home.  We enjoyed our supper and the warmth that comes from being with family.

I am making the effort to visit Joan in the Home because it does my heart good to know I can be a blessing to some one else.

I am looking forward to being back at Bible Study on Wed. and church on Sunday.

I feel that through this time of testing I have gained the knowledge that no matter how unloveable we may feel I am still loved!

ALIVE

Seasons change and these trees that are barren will come alive with beauty again.

Dad and I drove into see Carol and have lunch with her on Friday.  The fields have turned into lakes of water and the ditches look like they are overflowing.

Our lives are made up of many different experiences.  Some so painful we want to forget.  I am who I am today because of the love I have experienced along the way.

I am listening even more carefully to the inner voice of love.  -Henri Nouwen

I am grateful for the love I have experienced in my life that has given my life meaning.

As I pray this morning a picture comes to mind.  It is of a wounded swan that has fallen to earth into a the water below.  Up above his friends are honking and flying by when this happens they come down to join him and swim around him to keep him safe.

All around me my family is surrounding me with love and compassion. 

I know healing will come and is coming as love restores me.

TROUBLED

          Sometimes all looks calm on the outside but deep within troubled waters are being stirred up.

Being sick and housebound this was not the best of ideas.  They say, who is they, that the course of true love never runs smooth.  Sad. but true,

To be healthy means our body mind and soul are whole.

We are constantly in need of healing in every area.  This also includes our emotions.

:The divine light within asks the chronically weary part of who we are asks if we want to be healed.  Jesus asked the man at the edge of the pool this question and until he could answer he remained on his sick bed.

So for us it is now a time to be healed together and start this year afresh.

Some things only Jesus can heal because his love can reach the depth of our souls.

The waters are calm and the future is bright.

Dad had a bike ride.

We received a parcel  from Ranu and Lucas..  It is so good to hear from them. 

Thank you both.