LIFE

It is another beautiful day.

A day to celebrate all of life.

To see the hope in each others eyes.

To wish a good friend Larry Happy Birthday.!!

Yesterday we made another trip to see Vera at the hospital.  She is looking brighter and lively.  This is her true personality coming through.  She has brought a lot of joy into many lives and will continue to do so even though her her whole life is changing.

Vera always looked beautiful with her perfect hair do (it was a wig) and smart bright clothes and delightful laugh.  Now she looks even more beautiful in her hospital gown and her own hair cut short.  Her eyes still sparkle with the delight of having visitors.

I had many things I wanted to ask her but the visit was interrupted by the visit of a very, very, talkative friend.  She chatters on and on about every detail of her life.  We see it is tiring Vera so we volunteer to take her home.  Our hour is now up.

We say a few words to the sad girl across from her and wish we could do more.

We will have celebrated life with all our many friends at church today.

We look forward to the July celebrations of the visit of Mary and Chad and the children and all the July birthdays!

Life is good.  God is good!  Off to church!  Hope you are all good too!

REALITY

                Most days we seem to be doing much the same thing.  Keeping as active as we can.

Today when dad went for a bike ride I decided to take a bag of food over to the Safeway for the food bank.  It did not seem to heavy.  I am walking by the coffee shop when an Italian man comes up behind me and takes the bag and takes my hand.  He helps me all the way to the store.  He tells me I have to be more careful and to not over do things.

I just laughed and thank him for his kindness.

I went to the eye doctor and I am very blind in one eye.  I have a cataract and it needs to be removed.
I could put it off for a year if I want but if it has to be done why not do it and see better sooner.

I came home after having my eyes dilated with sun glasses on.  I picked up a book and could barely see the words.  Then I realized I still had my sun glasses on.

Life freaks me out at times!

WISDOM

                                                           Thankful for the rain.

Thankful for the sun and a suny place to sit and have a sandwish and a G.F. cookie on Tuesday between the doctor appointment and the eye appointment.

Thankful  for the wisdom that comes from sharing our faith and our experiences at my Jet Lag group. Our study is reading about Jesus confronting the demonic man.  We enjoy our time together even as we touch on many of the darker sides of life.  The poverty and injustice and mental health and unanswered prayers.

How do we find the wisdom to grow spiritually?

Three of us have experienced the miracle of answered prayer and as we share we feel encouraged to find answers to difficult questions.

I read some answers from my book "Survival Habits of the Soul" by Ken Shigematsu.

Meditation - Silent Listening

Gratitude- Being thankful no matter what our circumstances

Servant hood - Pouring ourselves out for others in friendship and in love.

Study - Finding wisdom in scripture and in literature.

Embracing all of life which can be practical as well as spiritual.  Discipline our minds and our emotions.

Love the unlovable which sometimes means loving ourselves when we are grouchy or sad or restless and tired instead of peaceful!

Off to do my eye test for my driver's license.

TIME

Time to face the truth with courage and the inner strength we all possess or can discover as we pray and let God work deep in our hearts.

 The tiny little growths on dad's eyelids may be cancer..  This has been his worst fear.  His eye doctor is now addressing this as a serious problem  Dad is to continue his eye drops and apply some ointment.
He is to go back in two weeks.

It was a long day for both of us with the two appointments and not time enough to eat something in between.  Fortunately we went to the coffee shop and dad was able to grab a devilled egg sandwich.  I bought a G. F. cookie which did not help me to feel nourished.

We did find a quiet treed  area on the grounds of the hospital and have our lunch there on a bench.  S crow came over and stared at us so dad feed him a little tiny crust.

The first hour had gone well at dad's family doctor and we knew the time would be long at the eye specialist.   The waiting time can be up to nearly an hour or more.

I had a long time to sit and wait and think.

I heard a funny little sound and looked across from me at an elderly couple.  She was holding his hand and he had fallen asleep and was gently snoring.  We looked at each other and smiled and then laughed.  She gave him a little nudge.

Laughter heals and can be a great blessing.

We will face what we have to when the time comes.
For me it will be with God's help with prayer!

Kim arrived soon after we got home and it was fun to enjoy her company.  She tried to wash off jam that had splatter on the ceiling when I had dropped the jar.  Crazy to see all the red spots above,     

She is off to the States to see Hamlet and talk with the immigration lawyer.  The problems have to be dealt with.

Carol and Panteli arrive home from Oregon where they were at a conference.

Haiti will be so happy to see them .  So will we!                               q

Time for them to be home again!

Time To join the chorus "
Woah-oh living on a prayer"
-  Bon Jovi

HOME

         It was good to be driving down the street knowing that home is just around the corner.

Dad had his appointment with the cancer doctor who we had trouble finding because his office had moved.  The office is right in the hospital not across the street where it used to me.  The intern came in and asked dad a few questions and then the doctor came in all smiles.  It appeared that he had made a mistake on our last visit ordering the hormone shot but he did not admit it in so many words.  He seems like a nice enough guy but our feelings have changed because he never answered phone calls or the letter dad sent.

Dad's report is all good and the routine of blood work and appointments will continue.

We left there to go to the other area where our friend Vera is waiting for news about where she will be going next.  They are keeping her pain under control which is good.  Her daughter has arrived from the States so that is cheering her up.  Vera is still full of life and stories and remembers how faithful we were in visiting her home over the last few years.  She is a good friend.

Dad's stomach was bothering him and he felt very tired and just wanted to get home.  We both laid down for naps.

To-morrow it is the family doctor about dad's hip and knee causing him pain.  He also is out of his pain pills which have really helped with the pain at night.

We finally got the time straightened out about his eye appointment which will be later in the early afternoon.  Too bad appointments come on the same day.

Kim is coming over about 4 to do her taxes with dad.  We will make supper together which means I had better go out and buy some vegetables.  Or we can eat out.  It is whatever she wants.

"I believe that we have been given sufficient stress, crisis, complexity and consciousness to do the things that are just beyond our imagination."  Jean Houston.  I would like to believe this but it is a challenge!

Our power was out for a while but now is back on.

It is so good to be home and just relax.

SABBATH

     The Sabbath is a gift of a day of rest but in our busy world today we have not accepted this gift.
Our minds are flooded with what should be done and keeping busy frees our minds from anxiety.

Growing up Sunday was a day of rest and time to enjoy famuly  .It  helped when the community supported this by closing stores.  For many now it is just another day to be busy and feel good about it.

Dad and I spent a restful day and did not attend church.  We were a "little under the weather".

We did not find any pots that did not belong to our pans.  I hope the lid turns up Sandra but it is a mystery.

John and Pat dropped in to see us after going to our church.  They have been away on holidays and it was nice to catch up on  their news.  They are busy people. and we appreciate the time they take to visit us.  It does them good just to slow down,

To-morrow dad goes to the cancer doctor at Surrey Memorial Hospital unless they cancel again.  Two other appointments have been cancelled.  We feel his doctor was not happy with dad's refusal of the hormone therapy.

Tuesday two appointments have been scheduled for the same time.  One is with his family doctor, dad's hip and leg has become painful, and the eye doctor made the other appointment with a message on our machine.  He will cancel the eye appointment for the next available day.

We got mixed up about being invited to Carol and Panteli's.  I thought they were away in Oregon but Sandra's message on my blog mixed us up.  I thought I had mixed it up which I often do.

I do believe the Sabbath is a holy day set apart for us to rest from work and the need to be seen as productive.  The Sabbath can be starting the night before and all the next day.  I know from experience that it is easier to rest on Saturday evening knowing I do not need to get up and prepare for a work day ahead.  The quiet morning is good for me.

So whatever you did or did not do I hope you accomplished your plans.

I certainly rested.  Not one weed got pulled.  I read and yplifting book about the power of prayer to change our lives which I know has happened inmy life.

LIGHTEN UP

I have been doing doing some heavy reading, very depressing and heartbreaking so I think it is time to lighten up

Dad and I went up to eat and then I bought some cookies and some blueberry muffins.  I know I will enjoy every bite.

My yellow roses smell wonderful so I stop and just breathe in all the fragrant and beauty.

On my walk this morning I told two East Indian ladies I loved their beautiful pink dresses.  I received two beautiful smiles in return.

I enjoyed reading in the Sun Newspaper about Jeff Davies, who in his acceptance speech as Counsel of the year admitted his vulnerabilities and his struggles over the past years.He struggled with depression,loneliness, deep rooted shame and felling disconnected.  

The human struggles we all face at one time or another.but we are afraid to admit these failures to anyone.

Life can be a challenge and some times the challenge is to just laugh at the messiness and enjoy the good things. 

I am glad Heartbeat a;ways has a bit of humor mixed in with the tragedy.

Sunday off to church, our minister always has some humor in his sermons.

Ilook for ward to a good laugh and some inspiring thoughts!

I am praying for a little rain.

MEMORIES

Memories live on even as everything else changes

Lots of good memories at the Strawberry Tea.  It was very crowed as people from all over came to celebrate our last Colebrook Strawberry Tea.  Our family moved to Colebrook Church in 1975.  They started having the tea's in 1980.  In the early years I was very involved.  I made great friends and it was fun.

We all made a white cake from the same recipe but they all turned out different.  I was suspicious that some changed the recipe.  It was laughable.

I meet Jane on my first visit and we ended up becoming good friends.   regret I did not think of having our picture taken together,  The picture dad took of Jane did not work out.  Sometimes you wish you could relive a day!

At lot of our friends came back for this final day.  I had trouble remembering names but not faces.

We are fortunate to have our tea in this beautiful church hall.  Before it was built we had it outside on the lawn and we were always thankful it did not rain.

It was a day of appreciation for all of us who worked setting up, cutting up, clearing up etc. 

All the ladies, the golden oldies received a graduation certificate.

I knew that I belong from the first and that is was a new beginning for my life.  

We all look for meaning in our lives and for good relationships that are lasting.

I will face the future when it arrives and I know I will find a new church home.  

I will be leaving behind many wonderful memories but they live on in our hearts.

THE COLLECTOR

           I am a collector of words and of pictures that express the life I am experiencing.

A life that now has a rhythm to it.

A sad song can become a happy thankful one,

Life is full of tiny miracles like the survival of these motherless kittens.  They are now ready for their new homes.

My habit, or my rhythm , begins my day in quiet prayer aware of Jesus and His love for me.

I have given to Him all my sadness and anger and shame.  Morning after morning.  

As I write these words and prayers in my journal  they just pour out of me.  I write down quotes from others who have inspired me.  My life is being shaped even as the words on the page as they take shape.

The words we say too ourselves and to others are so very important.

I am trying to think of words to write in Morgan's birthday card that will be a blessing to her.

We each find happiness in our own way, we find the ryhthem of our own, our own gifts and strengths,\  We learn to make our own choices and our own mistakes.

Remember our love surrounds you! 

That is what words are meant to do and to be.

Dad and I drove to the library to collect two books that I had ordered.  Stories of the lives of others.

Every day new words are being written and shared just like I have shared our story.

Today we are attending the Strawberry Tea and will meet out friend Jane there and many other friends.

The soul feels the warmth of words expressed and also those unexpressed.

I will collect them all!

I am so very thankful!

"Only ourlack oflove can keep us from His Love Letter!"  -Ann Voskamp

CONFIDENCE

                       I am confident that recovery from the past is a gift waiting to be opened.

I am continuing to learn more about abuse, especially abuse women suffer from, and my goal is to help others if I can.  I think it is important for women to share their stories and be thankful for lessons learned and new freedom to bring back confidence in ourselves.

It does take courage.

We were confident that when we arrived at the eye doctor's there would be a big wait and sure enough the room was packed with patients and volunteers to drive them home.  The girl at the front desk was very kind and pleasant so that was helpful.  It is always interesting to watch others go through the same procedures until it was finally dad's turn.  He felt he did not do as well as he had in the past even though he had been confident before his test.

We stopped to have something to eat before going shopping at the Safeway where we always wind up buying more than we planned.  It was one of those days when you do more talking to old friends than shopping.

I received a lovely card from the women in my Bible study who continue to be supportive.

I am feeling the fatigue of this persistent cough but walking with Aneta found out she is feeling the same.  Healing takes time.

Dad is much more confident riding his bike with the new battery and he enjoys his daily rides now,

My goal is to become more confident and help others, if I can,  in the process.

AGAIN

Thank you Sandra and Randy for hosting another father's day party.  Thanks for the excellent chocolate cake.  Hope Randy your headaches are all gone.  You did not need that second dose of side affects again.

We got up this morning expecting to go and see dad's Cancer specialist.  The appointment was cancelled again for the third time.  The nurse said he was sick.  Well at least the excuse has been different every time.

We were planning to visit Vera at the same time.  The other woman across from her was not back in the Nursing Home.  I am not sure about visiting.

I would like to help others who have experienced similar trauma like I did.  The opportunity will come if I am meant to do this. 

Dad has an eye appointment in White Rock to-morrow.  I can pick up some G.F. food at the same time.  I have to make an eye appointment to have my eyes checked to see if I can renew my drivers license,  I should go again anyway,

Thrusday is the strawberry tea rime at the church.  I will ask Joanne and Aneta if they would like to go.  I jnow the church hall will be full of flowers and happy people.

I may add something again later.

DAD.S DAY

Happy Birthday Oliver.  We will phone you tonight,

Dad was extremely happy to hear from all the family.  Rick on the way to Saskatoon still not completely well but doing better.  We are looking forward to his visit in July when Mary and the children arrive and also Chad,  The baby shower for Mandy and James is at the same time.

Kenny driving home from an early morning shift also phoned.    Both in good humor.
Jasmine tired out from a long night sleep over and Matthew has an earache  home from school.  Ken had to be home to look after them and the dogs who dislike each other.  One is outside and one inside and then they change about.

sandra and Randy worked hard putting up a new tent which will be xcellent for the hot July days.

Randy also worked hard cleaning up the pool ready for swimming.

I hope he is feeling better from his Shingles vacanation which gave him fever and chills and headaches.  He wonders if it was worth it but Sandra and I think so.

Everyone enjoyed the pool especially Morgan

Mikie and Thersa clearing out Mikie's parents house that contained a lot of stuff.  Some they were able to sell, some they brought for us to look over and the rest off the thrift store.  A very big job but such a relief the house is sold for a good price and to just the right family.

Both Sandra and Kim took time out from studying to enjoy and celebrate good memories of the past and new hopes for the future.  Kim will be a teacher and Sandra will be able to do another job.

I guess I forgot to say Smile!

It was a perfect day of swimming, eating and drinking and sharing fond memories.

Dad will be riding his bike today and trying out his new gloves.  Thanks Panteli and Carol/

INVESTMENTS

We invest in each others lives in many ways and over many years of growing and learning together.

This young lady and her handsome husband have been a big part of our lives.

We have known Tavia since she was a small child.  She has continued to share her life with us.  The school years when we took care of her after school.  The teen age years when she and her sisters came to help me recover from surgery

Tavia tackled the weeds in our garden just like Sandra and was discussed at his fake flowers..

We welcomed Shawn into our hearts too as we came to know him and love him,  They are both becoming amazing parents.

Dad and I enjoyed a wonderful day with them on Saturday.  They arrive with food ready to be prepared and were right at home in our kitchen.

Looking forward to being with our family later today at Sandra and Randy's.

The boys had lots of fun too.

We have been rewarded for the investment of time and energy and love in their lives.

BEN'S PARTY

A happy family group enjoying celebtating Brn's 16th birthday a few weeks ahead of time.

Very special candles from the church.

Ben blew them all out.

To bed early

A busy day Sat walking with Aneta

Tavia and Shawn come at 10:30 with Oliver and Atlan.

Oliver likes o come to our huse because we have lots of toys.

Before the party we took time to visit Joan at the Seniors village.

I managed to cheer her up even with a short visit.

EXCITING

                It has been a exciting several days watching the hockey and basketball playoffs.The basket ball had us on the edge of our seats with the points changing each second.  Wonderful the Raptors won!

I was very tired by bedtime and found myself climbing into bed with my clothes on!  This is a first!

Today I had a short walk and dad had a long bike rode.  He is so happy he does not have to worry about his battery dieing.  

Ben is going to be sixteen!  That is exciting!

Carol and Panteli are having a small birthday party for Ben tonight.  I cannot believe he is going to be sixteen and he is trying to grow a beard!  He has a trip coming up going to the States and in July he was chosen to go a special soccer camp for goalies  in Germany.   I will confirm these facts after we see him.

I have been going through a time of inner healing. Prayer and belief in God's compassionate love has been a gift  of  peace that passes understanding is the healing calm that takes away the pain of painful memories.  

After months of feeling shame and anger I woke up one morning and I felt alive and free again!

It was exciting!

THOUGHTFUL

                                      This bird seems thoughtful as it looks down upon us all.

Rick your father's day card arrived today.  Very thoughtful of you.  It touch both of our hearts.

Thank you family for all the thoughtful and caring things you have done for dad and I.  We are grateful knowing we are loved. Our hopes and dreams for all of you are for a future that continues to be an adventure.

Today I was at my Bible Study group which is a very thoughtful and supportive group and our adventure continues to be to learn more about ourselves and our relationship to God.  We have been through a lot of different stages in our lives and we now face a lot of the problems of growing older.

Those of us who still have husbands share our concern for them with their health challenges.

We pray for one another and continue to be aware of an unseen presence that guides us.

GIFTS

                                                   You are loved and loveable!
                                      Kim was all smiles after we gave her a few little gifts.
                                       Grandpa and I truly appreciate all the thoughtful things you do for us.

Kim, I am happy that you and Hamlet celebrated your birthday together on the weekend.  It was good to celebrate together on Monday, which was another busy day for you at school.

                                        It was good to have Sandra and Randy there joining inn the fun.
                              We know a lot more about Randy now that his D.N.A. was been completed.

Everybody brings their unique gifts of who they are to our family.  We share common values of hard work, honesty, generosity and support for one another.  We all have our goals which mean we have to keep learning to achieve these goals.  Be kind and compassionate.  Be forgiving.

The time just seems to fly by especially when we are together.

Dad and I drove into Burnaby today to pick up his new bike battery.  The drive is so much easier when you know the way to go.  Now back hone he has given it a good work out and he is very pleased with it,

This is one of the best gifts he has given himself.  His bike with this motor.

Thank you kim for the gifts of pottery that bring beauty into our homes.

Thank you Kim for sharing your hopes and dreams with us.

OLDER

                                               Yes I am feeling older today after a bad night.

I start out my walk very slowly feeling like I am walking up this big hill.  A young boy passes me.  My eyes fill with tears because he is cripple with a very bad foot.  He is just going a little faster than as he hops and moves forward.  On his back he is wearing a volunteer sing.

He could be at home feeling sorry for himself but he is out in the world helping others.  Three cheers for this young lad.

I came home thankful for what I can do.  I had had many good years.

Then I went to find dad's form for the blood clinic knowing I had out it in a safe place.  But Where?
It was found and he took off expecting more good results.  We are still waiting for the results.

Yes even Kim is getting older.  We celebrated her birthday at home with Carol and Panteli and Ben.

Sandra and Randy also joined us.  Good to be together.

Carol and Panteli are off to Harrison to-morrow.  He has a conference.  Good place to be as the weather gets warmer. 

HIGH HOPES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!\

You are achieving your goals

We are proud of you.

                                I am sure both teams had high hopes as they skated on the ice
                                    for what started to be a very exciting game.
                                    So many fans with crushed spirits as they left the arena.

                             We all want to be winners but there are greater lessons to be revealed when we fail.

Dad and I did not attend church because I felt like having a quiet day.  I had a lot of concerns for others on my heart.  I enjoyed several walks and lots of reading and writing.  Lots of hockey stories too! 
a new one about dad turning up for the game with no skates on a freezing raining Saskatoon night.
The goalie lent him his truck to go home and get his skates  Fortunately he was able to drive even in the miserable conditions of ice and rain.  He had no experience with trucks. He missed half the game.

I attended church with high hopes of joy and fulfillment.  Facing disappointment helped me see my own imperfections as well as others.

Humility and courage and the willingness to be supportive of others bring out the best within us.

The best we can do is keep in the game and continue to learn from our experiences.

Dad had a good bike ride as the day became warmer.

FRIENDLY

                                           Lots of friendly people and flowers on my walk.

Friday dad called the bike store about a battery replacement.  The girl was so very friendly and positive which was good.  It sure makes a difference how people answer the phone.

We had to drive to Burnaby which we had not done for years.  Dad just made one wrong turn.  We found the address but there was no sign on the building.  We were about to give up when we saw the bike on the window.

The people were young and very helpful.  They kept his battery for testing and gave him a used one that he tried as soon as he got home.  He even drove up a hill and it kept working.  It is very important that the battery works because the bike is too hard for him to peddle without it so he walks it home.

Carol and Panteli picked us up and drove us to the movie.  It was a humorous story about some older ladies deciding to relive their cheer leading days.  Well one of them had been  a cheer leader so she taught them the moves. 

What happened in the process was they all became friends and shared other fun times together.  They all had aches and pains but the message was to keep trying until you succeed.  It was a fun evening for dad and I.

Sandra dropped by Saturday just as we were getting ready to visit the hospital.  We enjoyed catching up on her busy life.  She really wants to do well with her studies.

We left for the hospital after she had a quick look at our jungle of flowers.

I told Vera about the movie and we had a good laugh.  The visit went very quickly and ended with a quiet prayer.  She is a very special person.

My church family is very important to me.  I am so thankful for the friendly people we meet every Sunday.

REVISITED

A dull and chilly morning.

I spent the morning putting some fertilizer around the yard and planting seeds.  Dad took off on his bike to ride around the Watershed forest.  The battery has been cutting out which makes the bike too heavy to cycle and yesterday it quit.  He had a very tiring journey home the last few blocks.  A new battery is now essential.

We had planned to visit an old friend from church, Doug, and an old friend from dad's work, Terry.  They are in the same Care Home.  Doug was not well enough for a visit so we post phoned it for next week.

We did revisit Ladner and had fish and chips at the pub. and stopped at the library and I added a few bore books to pile up here and there.

Arriving home we were cheered up to hear the voices of Carol and Kim on the phone asking us for supper.  Our energy was spent but we would have loved to go.  I was mixed up on when Carol would be back from Boston.  It was Tuesday evening.

We were sorry to hear that Rick is still having a lot of pain with his abscessed tooth.  Finally step will not be performed until June 21, so he is on Tylenol 3's till then.  Very painful time for him.

Home at last we watched an exciting hockey game.  We are cheering for the Blue's who won in the last very exciting moments of the game when Boston neatly sored to even the score.

The day ended as we revisited the beaches of Normandy and looked into the faces of all the old soldiers who fought so barely.  Seeing the tragedy of all who were killed as they bravely jumped from their boats into the water into gun fire that kill so many of their buddies.  

Brave men who fought for our freedom and we remember their sacrifices.

Sadly we live in a world where there is still the tragedy of war and injustice,  poverty and illness.

We can all agree that meaning is always having to do with love and memories happy or sad but they are now apart of who we have become.

MY GARDEN

My seeds

Conversion is when a seed of hope and faith is planted.

It is just the beginning,

This is my wild garden which has planted itself.

"A seed produces a sprout and then it grows until it reaches its full potential.

A flower, a vegetable and even a tree.

And then it produces more seed.

The peony os finishing the rose is starting.

Our lives are a process where we learn to grow and bloom where we are planted.

A seed is just a seed that lies dormant until it is planted

in the warmth of the dirt nourished by the rain  and the sun.

Ideas are like seeds waiting in our minds.

"We have the potential to become what we believe," Oprah

Every little flower is important.

"Value the intuitive voice that is within you." Carolyn Myss

Laughter is so important.

I like t make these flowers talk.

I cannot remember their name.

There is time to bloom and then time to let others takes over.

Be authenic as you find your own way, your own gifts, within your own heart and soil.

Reading and listening to others and doing what I can helps me to grow.

Writing down my own thoughts helps too.