HAPPY HAUNTING

Great Gramma and Morgan share a moment.

All the children will be out to-night dressed up in funny costumes and running from door to door. There is a childlike spirit in all of us that likes to have fun and just be silly. That is one of the greatest things about being a gramma; and a great gramma; it is fun!

I do not like the real scary things but children seem to; although I wonder about this. I know that I never liked real scary movies and I am sure they gave me bad dreams. Lots of noisy fire crackers going off already. We will give out candy until 8 o'clock then it is time for Heartbeat our favorite show.

Theresa and Morgan came over to bring us clothes to send to Afganastan or to the children's store that is run by our church. Now it is going through them and sorting which can go where.

I think it is good to pass things on. We will be busy doing some of that today.

"We do not want to be caught believing too much; we would rather believe too little." This is from God and Dog.

I think we can get carried away with intellectualizing faith and I am happy the world has moved from "fear" to "grace". Grace is the love of God for us all and He loves even when and where such love does not seem to make a difference, He loves and values what we may see as valueless and we are called to do the same! Dogs love us unconditionally and we find it natural to respond to a wagging tail and beautiful soulful eyes of devotion.

I was just wondering where the phrase "dog in the manger comes from"?

NO GRAMMA'S TO PLAY WITH.

Morgan with Gramma Carol and Grannie me.

Morgan was crying when Gramma Carol left their home last Sunday and she said "if you go I will have no gramma's to play with." I love being one of the grammas. Life is really all about our relationships and how people touch our lives in so many ways.

When dad came to pick me up at the hospital he met a nurse he knew when he visited on the sixth floor. That was when he rode his motorbike and she also had one. When I go into the Peace Arch Hospital I have a good feeling of all the memories of nearly seven years of visiting there. It was especially fun when my friend Pearl and I could go together. Pearl will be turning 90 this week-end and she is amazing.

She bakes ajnd writes letters and keeps in touch with people.

We have been given a new child to sponsor in Sri Lanka and I have to make the effort to write to her family. Mainly I will tell her about our family because lives are so different. She is also 3 years old like our great granddaughter Morgan.

Matthew in Melbourne is starting to talk so maybe will be able to talk on the phone. Pictures help so much to keep us in touch.

Today dad goes to the Cancer Clinic to see the doctor who two years ago started with him, she has during this time had a baby. It is hard to believe it has been two years. We are grateful that the P.S.A. test has come back so good. Our lives certainly changed when we heard the news and started on this treatment but the support and prayers have been wonderful.

It is a rainy day and it is Friday my day to walk with my friend Janet but now the weather is getting miserable and my walking a little less I think I will have to take time out for the winter.

We have had such good talks on our walks and I appreciate her friendship.

EVERYTHING IS ROSY!

The report I got from my test yesterday was excellent; even though I hick-uped through it all.
I am enjoying my coffee and toast even more than usual. But I also am thinking of all the poor people in the world that are straving and suffering. Why do we have it so good.

Do we still need morals to help us choose what is right or wrong? In a world driven by economics and the maximization of resources and getting more things where we we find answers? For me the answer comes from a healthy mixture of vital theology, ethics and philosopy. All life is about balance and about using our skills and our gifts wisely.

It is taking the time to really listen to each other. To listen to the music all around us prayerfully and gratefully.

YES I KNOW I SLEPT IN

Had a good time talking to Kim and Mike before they leave .

Morgan is not here to have a tea party with or share a story

Ben busy with a projest on dinasores

While mom and gramma watch

This is me trying to take a sunriase but the flash goes off!

Yes, I did sleep in but actually I was laying in bed thinking. Worrying maybe describes it more. Anyway I will wash my hair and have a bath so I will be clean on the outside and hopefully on the inside. Drinking all that water sure makes me feel sick but now this morning it is no water no food. My procedure is at 3 and I already have a headache which I am sure a cup of coffee would help.

At least our hot water is working because Sandra is having problems at their place.

The house seems very quiet and empty well that is because it is.

I have graduated from a skipping through the Dog Whisperer which I was told to read. Why! I do not know. I am now reading "On God and Dogs"

"It is a masterful blend of a phenomenology of the gift and a trinitarian theology of grace, a theological contribution to the philosophy of giving and a rethinking of divine freedom and generosity and human responsibility". This is on the back cover.

Well this should be food for thought!

MY GRANDFATHER'S BLESSINGS

This is a favorite book along with When God Weeps and Why Faith Matters.

A LOT OF THINGS CAN PREVENT US FROM SEEING.

OUR DRIVE TO RICK'S HOUSE WAS RAINY AND MISTY BUT STILL WE COULD GLIMPSE THE BEAUTY OF NATURE.

WE COULD NEVER HAVE FOUND THIS HOUSE IN THE DARK AND WE NEEDED RICK'S LIGHTS TO GUIDE US.

One of my favorite book's is "My Grandfather's Blessings." Her grandfather lived and believed surrounded by his unbelieving very smart and scientific children who became involved in the healing profession as doctor's and nurses. The author herself becomes a doctor and yet her greatest gift is writing about her faith that came from the influence of her randparent.

I have woke up with a headacke and dreading this day of fasting and purging. I try to convince myself that it is necessary; but I am not convinced, and I try to believe that it is good for me. I have just spent time in prayer for the many people on my prayer list going through very difficult times. Serious illness, suffering and pain, depression and devoirce and the list goes on.

Where is God in this world of pain and suffering?
Why do we kill and would one another in His name?
Why have we corrupted the message of Jesus which is compassion for your enemy not death to the unbeliever?

I have done serious wrong many times; but God had nothing to do with it.

We live in a painfilled, unjust cruel world where anger and violence are the weapons people use to fight what is called evil. We are brain-washed. The church has abused and destroyed the goodness that people were desparate to believe in. Doubt comes to torment us in our dreams.

Yet, I believe that without faith, faith in a God who weeps for us all, existence is meaningless.
The past haunts us until we forgive and we try to allow the pesence of God to heal the soul that has been destroyed and wounded. Maybe this is still using God for our self-interest and in the end all we can do is do our best and confess our ignorance and stupidity.

None of us knows and yet we can at least face our own weakness and the enemy of our souls that tempts us to destroy what is good and beautiful.

I never knew my grandfathers or grandmothers but my mom's mom was apart of my early years until I was about three. I have found such joy in being a grandparent and yet there has also come a lot of worries. Morgan cried when Carol left her on Sunday and said "But now I will have no grandmothers to play with me."

THE PUMPKINS ARE APPEARING EVERYWHERE.

These pumpkins have already blown down; but what a happy sight.

Last week I started to notice more and more pumpkins. This brings back memories of cutting out pumpkin faces. It is amazing what some people can do with their creativity. I do not know when this actually started because I do not remember it as a child. What I do remember is taking around little milk cartons to collect money for the war effort.

I have just read "The Cellist of Sarajevo". This is a story bases on a true person who was a cellist; who seeing from his window a line up of people killed during the war in that country. He committs to taking his cello and his stool and playing on the spot where 22 people died. It reminds us of the power of music to speak to the soul and dispell some of the darkness.

People forced to fight took on new names so that

"they could slip in and out of two lives

new names not to endanger their families

new names to separate themselves from what they had to do"

so that someday they could regain their true identity and forget the hatred that forced them to kill or be killed.

It is a real story about survival of the human spirit forced to make impossible moral choices.

Everyday the cellist plays in memory of those who were killed but also to keep alive the certainty that the world would someday become normal again and their was still the capacity for goodness in the world.

PORRIDGE TIME

The family gathered around the breakfast table to have some of dad's famous porridge. Sandra and Carol joined Kim and Mike and Michael. {I have to remember to tell people that the clock in the bedroom is not always the right time.}

Things were just cleared up and Theresa arrived with Ben and Morgan. Carol was to take them home for the week-end while Theresa and Kim and Kerri have a girls night out. There are so many plans being made my head is spinning. Kim and Mike have to clean the apartment before Mike heads out to Chilliwack with his son Michael.

There was time for coffee and cake and time to take a few pictures.

Life is wonderful and busy and a challenge to balance all that needs to be done. It is good to have a busy happy household but I now have to decide on a walk or a nap.

MY SHADOW

I was thinking of the old song "My Shadow and Me" when I saw this shadow walking along with me. I often find words of a song will pop into my mind. Music has such a positive influence to live in our memory. I know mom always responded to the music and it was such a joy to see.

Yesterday was a good day spending time with friends like Jane and Jeff. We had a walk down to Zellers and had coffee. Then it was off to see the old dears at the Nursing Home. It was good to see some of the old regular staff back at work because things have been so unsettled there.

Today Kim and Mike come over after they fineshed moving their stuff into storage. I am excited about their new adventure in the Grand Caymon but it will be sad to see them go.

I suppose in some ways I have lived a very sheltered; certainly not to adventursome. I know that I have experienced great diversity spiritually and that has given me a lot of joy.

"Joy is the energy and enthusiasum within me that helps me to feel completely content and at peace with life." Lindsay Sealy I do not always feel that joy but when I take time and let it come I realize that it is there.

Joy can be like my shadow that is easier to see in the sunshine and easier to feel on happy days.

ONE AFTER ANOTHER

LIFE IS FULL OF CONTRASTS. THE STRONG AND THE WEAK. GOOD AND EVIL

Everyday another bunch of letters arrive begging for money. I will look them over and choose just one. This is not easy as all of them are good causes and how can I who have so much ignore the needs of others.

A lot of people ignore their need of God and think they are doing quite well thank you very much! Christians do not seem to be any better or any happier and church is boring so who needs to be it? In the Old Testament they were to choose life or death; now that seems like an easy choice. For years the choice has been heaven or hell and the easiest thing is to believe there is neither. I was and still am drawn by the amazing love of God which is unconditional and full of grace.

Fear can be a healthy motivator when used to make healthy choices. Real Christians are not saints but trying to live an authentic life of transforming freedom and grace. Yes, we are living our faith as best as we can and thankful that we are not alone spiritually or physically.

We were discussing heaven or hell at home group and it is not an easy topic for anyone. Dad stayed home to watch the hockey game. He had been up early to drive Ava to an ultra sound appointment at St. Pauls Hospital. The drive in was a night mare of accidents. After he got home he picked up Madie {90} and brought her here for lunch. She was a dear friend of his mother and dads. I think he made a good choice to stay home.

The choices we make our often based on what we believe to be right.

CHASING SPIDERS

I've been doing a little extra cleaning and finding little spiders hiding in the corners. Who can blame them for coming in to get warm. I am also finding spider webs up high that all of sudden appear. My little uninvited guests are making themselves at home. The creepy thing is when you walk into a spider web unaware and all of sudden you are caught in the net.

Spider webs can be something you walk into or in everyday life we can be caught in a web of deceit. Nothing is quite what it may appear to be. Good and evil are not always a clear choice. We make many choices, some not so wise, but we are not carriers of original sin. This has been told to us by preachers of salvation who want us to receive Jesus as our savior. Jesus comes to us as our savior to reveal to us in God's eyes we are created to be a blessing.

I have trouble reading the old testament and even some of the words of Jesus. I certainly see that good people have their faults and weaknesses and we can mess up each others lives with unkindness in words or deeds. Forgiveness helps us to heal and we can be a healing presence in the lives we touch daily.

Even in homes where there is a Bible it often just sits on the shelf. I am glad that I go to Bible Study groups that makes me keep reading scripture. I think most people no the story of Adam and Eve where Eve seems to take the blame. "Eve was framed" the bumper sticker declares.

"We are born inescapably good, as part of a good creation, and yet we lose our way by making bad choices. -Saving Jesus from the Church byRobin Myers.

"When I understood literally, I was slain spiritually." St. Augustine.

"A myth is about a truth so large, so important and mysterious that it cannot be contained by mere facts." Joseph Campbell

"A myth he says is the secret opening through which the inexhaustible energies of the dosmos pour into human manifestation. Myths are not tobe taken literally. When they are, not only is the power of myth and metaphor weakened, bad theology can be the result."

In our D.V.D. last night a raving mad dog bites a man and all the men in the small town go out to search for it. In the searching they come upon a very sick boy who has collapsed out on the moors. Talking to my brother Brian last night he told me of a distraught woman who came to their house to share her sad story; while she was there she saw my card on the mantle and asked if she could look at it. She was very touched by the card I had sent for my brother on his birthday. We never know how something we do or say or send can touch some one else.

In life one thing can lead to another. "Scripture is meant to convey reverence and spark a conversation with God not to be a straitjacket" [of doctrine that keeps us tied to the past.]

Yesterday I was terribly nauseated and felt discouraged and miserable; but today I am good!

THE GIFT OF FALL

My carrots from my little backyard garden.

Now there is a traffic life that protects me as I cross the road.

We want to get a bigger mirror to bring more light into our kitchen.

We are leaving for study group when the last of the light in the sky fades. Darkness comes earlier now and it is one of the things we do not like. Yet we need darkness in our lives as well as light. Darkness reminds us it is time to rest even as the earth is resting during the winter months. Enjoy the beauty and freshness of the day as we all appreciate the gift of fall!

To me fall is an especially beautiful time of the year. So many spectacular colours
grace the landscape and gladen the heart. It is harvest time when fruits and vegtables are ready for our kitchen tables.

"This then is salvation: to marvel at the beauty of created things and to marvel at the beauty of their creator." - Meister Eckhart

Everyday as I do my blog the words "add your image" flash upon the screen as I search for the right picture. The biblical account of Creation says we are made in the image and likeness of God, expressed in the beautiful latin phrase imago Dei. Out of the myths and stories and metaphors in the words of scripture we are showen deeper truths. The birth of a child is a blessing because this child will bring something unique and special into our world. We are born inescapably good, blessed with goodness not cursed with sin. We lose our way by making bad choices and by believing false doctrine and by hurtful words that create doubt not faith.

THE VISIT

We had a very enjoyable visit with Rick. He has a fantastic home with a view of the lake and beautiful fall trees. He met us and guided us down the dark road or we would not have been able to find it. It was lovely and warm when we arrived; no need of my long underwear, as his little fire was going. Good talks about his current situation and his studies mixed in with memories of the past. So happy that we finally got there and his curried chicken was a bonus!

JOY

What a joy just to sit and watch the graceful motions of these birds gliding across the pond!

God has been good to our family. We enjoy being together and especially laughing and being silly!

Life is not fair is something we all have discovered at one time or another; but we must endeavor to do our parts to make it so.

Faith is beyond reason and is a choice that comes when we realize that there is a hunger in our soul that cannot be filled in any other way than with God's love. My belief in a God who believes in me has enabled me to believe in myself. This does not mean that I have all the answers but as I take time to pray I am deepening my relationship with God and I can share my burdens and concerns.

We are driving up to Blind Bay to enjoy a visit with Rick. Every time I leave home I always wonder will I come back. It is not a fear so much as just knowing it is a possibility that bad things happen to everyone.

I will pray for all the drivers on the road today that we will all be careful!

l know that joy is a gift from God to inspire us and music is a wonderful way to express in words and song the goodness of God.

The reason why we do not attend church and think it is boring is because we do not really expect God to speak to us. School would be boring if we never listened to the teacher or advanced beyong grade 1. We are all different and it is not up to be to live my Christian life in comparison with others. If going to church or Bible study makes me even a little kinder and more compassionate, generous, or forgiving then I am thankful.

I love to see the light reflected on our pond and I wonder anew at all that God has created. I know that this is only a dim reflection of a very complex and wonderful Creator who loves us all with a deep and glorious love. I know that I have just experienced a taste of that love so I need to open myself with thanksgiving and prayer each day knowing that I am not alone.

Anyway I packed last night and am waiting for dad to pack this morning. Now I may unpack and start again. Let see, warm clothes for sure and a book or two. Now I have to remember to go unplug the iron. I always iron to put things in better.

Even though I've been up since 5:30 I will be the last one out the door checking to see if everything is off! lol

ON THE ROAD FINALLY

MORGAN JUST HAD A FALL DOWN STAIRS.

WE ARE OFF TO THE MOUNTAINS

LEAVING BEHIND OUR USUAL WALKS

Out come the suitcases or suitcase as we pack for our three day trip away. We will take some warm clothes just in case.

Today I went visiting at the Nursing Home and met two new people. One named Pearl and one named Bob. They are always so glad to see me it makes me happy I made the effort to go. I know Rick will be glad to see us and it will be more of an effort for dad to go. His face is very sore but the doctor says he is doing all the right things. So at every stage of life we face more challenges, more aches and pains etc.

I am looking forward to walking around the lake and seeing Rick's home.

I will miss the family but I know they are all too busy to even think about us.

THE WRITTEN WORD

A picture reveals the beauty I would like to share with you.

I like to see with my own eyes so that I can experience what I have been told. I can tell you that I have this lovely pond where I like to walk and it reflects the awesome light of the sky and it always touches my soul like nothing else. Nature speaks of the heart of the Creator who desires to bring beauty into our lives.

I like the assurance of seeing something written down because I do not always remember or even hear things right. To be sure there was Bible study today I had to look on the church calender and yes it was on today. Actually there were two studies. One was my group that has been meeting and sharing for years. We have fun together but also are honest and open about how we feel and what is wrong with the church and with Christianity. We have questions that are taken from the scriptures and that we try to apply to our own lives. Yes, we are followers of Jesus, but we make mistakes and we mess up. We believe in the power of grace that frees us from grace and shame. Jesus calls us to love the unloveable and to speak out against injustice.

Yes, the words of Jesus sometimes disturb us, and yet we return time and time again to read did he really say that?

There are words like justification and salvation and repentance and santification that are too much for us to digest and understand and have become words of a legal terms that force us to put on masks because we do not live up to what we believe Jesus taught us.

Jesus offers us the good news of grace and gradual transformation. It is a path like the one that takes me to the pond where the light reflects the beauty and can even take my breath away. At times it is good to be still and let the light and warmth of God's flow upon us.

There was also a new study group meeting. They are being challenged by the words of Marcus Borg, Walter Bruggerman, John Dominic Crossan, Matthew Fox, J. S. Spong and others. I am familar with some of their writings and will be doing this course at another time. We could choose to move on to this indepth study but only one left our group to do so. We value our friendship and in the end Jesus calls us into relationship with him and with each other.

CHILDREN

CHILDREN ARE VERY SPECIAL TO GRANDPARENTS

WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THEIR PIECE OF PIE

I LOVE BEING SURROUNDED WITH MY CHILDREN, MY GRANDCHILDREN AND MY GREAT GRANDCHILDREN. THEY MAKE ME FEEL YOUNG AGAIN.

Children love stories and so do I. They love to hear you read the same stories over and over again word for word. As adults we can try to hurry the story along by skipping a word or two but they do not let you. I loved reading stories to children and count it as one of life's blessings.

Children want your attention and want to draw you into their world. Come and see! Come!

Splash in the puddles with me, play in the dirt, colour with me, pick up rocks and leaves and flowers with me. They love to laugh and have fun, to play and pretend, to explore and to ask questions. They can be loud and noisy and demanding and tiring.

Jesus invited children to come and listen to his stories and Jesus invites us to become like children as we listen with our hearts seeking to see beyond the natural into the super-natural. Children can believe in ghosts, and faries, and dogs that talk and secret spells and all shorts of wonderful or scary things. They are honest about their feelings whether they are mad or sad or excited and happy.

Faith is to see with the eyes of a child, to listen with their ears, to pray with a trusting heart to believe what one cannot understand and to feel with your whole being.

The jinni, or spirit, in the book "The Brick Wall" says to the one who had been praying and not receiving answers and thought no one was listening was told "I did not go away only Now you decided to listen".

We all have the choice to see and hear what we want. I blieve there is a danger in becoming too intellectual and too critical. Religion is being torn down and distroyed by science and cold hard facts that make people feel smarter and they can live comfortably with their denial.

I believe that "God" that higher power is a mystery not to be solved but a mystery to be treasured deep in your soul. It is like giving yourself a hug and feeling loved.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO OUR LOVE BIRDS

THIS LITTLE BIRD HAS BEEN CHIRPING AT OUR WINDOW AND THEN BROUGHT A FRIEND AND NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY IS HERE EATING ON THE GRASS.

Together with the birds of the air and all of God's creatures we pause to give thanks.

Together with family and friends we give thanks for the gift of life and for a path upon which we may walk hand in hand. One of my greatest delights in this past month was walking holding hands with Morgan who was also hold Carol's hand. We walked by the river and watched the leaves falling and the water so calm and reflecting the light.

Together as we watch the children playing we are thankful for grass to run in, tree houses to climb and dirt to play and dig in. We love exploring new places and discovering the world of beauty that we can see with new eyes from a child's view. It has been many years since I lay upon the grass and watched the clothes drift by; but I have not forgotten how I felt and how I would see the different shapes that formed to my delight!

Together we watch our family grow and whether we like it or not things change. It has been a very special thanksgiving in every way with much laughter and talking and sharing.

My heart was full of love spending time with so many of our family. Yes, we miss those who are far away but we look forward to the day when we will have a visit with each one.

Today has been a day to count my blessings and it feels like my cup runneth over with joy and peacefulness.

Soon we will see flocks of birds flying high over head leaving for warmer places but there will always be a few that perservere through the winter. We feed them last year right at our back door as the snow piled up. I am thankful for the seasons of nature, for the seasons of the heart, and for the seasons of aging.

In many ways the days seem to be going by so fast, flying by, even as the days of our life seem to have flown by. I am thankful for all the good memories!

Just as God's greatest blessing is His Presence we bless each other just by our presence!

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY!

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS AND SEEING THE PRESENCE OF GOD IN OUR BEAUTIFUL WORLD AND OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS! LIFE IS FULL OF BEAUTY AND SURPRISES!

I am thankful that I am not a turkey or I would be getting cooked.
I am thankful that I am not cooking and have a house full of people, laughter and noise!
I am thankful that my children and grandchildren do such a wonderful job now.

I have done my share and I am more than willing to be looked after and spoilt.

And when I look back over my life I have indeed conquered many things. I have overcome shyness, whether in a small group or speaking to a group. I have overcome many fears and a few failures. I look at others with a positive ability to see the good in them, we all have good hearts and kindness comes so easily. I have been a Sunday School teacher, a chairperson of our church council, a president at United Church Womens group, I have had neighborhood Bible study groups in my home, I have looked after many children besides those in my family, I have sold Avon and was very successful, I worked at a Medical Supply Store part time, I have learned to drive later in life and can but do not really enjoy driving; I have learned to visit the sick and to start conversations as well as listen. I know what it is like to be told you have cancer and have dealt with the grief and anger.

Yes, I have lived with the shadow of imperfect health but good days are wonderful and other days I just have to rest. I am learning to accept things I cannot control and sometimes it can be my emotions. Sometimes I absorb the pain of people of others, which is why I turn to prayer. I always used to think I had to do everything but now I ask others and give them the joy of helping and serving me!

My writing is enjoyed by many people and I am being honest with my feelings whether they may be up or down. Happiness is not being happy all the time but being content with what you have and who you are. No one knows exactly how we feel or the things that we have gone through to get to where we are today. Right now I am looking forward to a second breakfast and then seeing friends at Colebrook.

Laughter is always the best medicine especially with family and friends!

"No, in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, angels nor demons, neither the past nor the present. . . . . . will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord! Amen & Amen

FRIENDS I AM THANKFUL FOR

Two sisters so different but we love to have come and visit. Young people are so amazing and bring us such joy!

"Friendship is a tapestry woven through the years, with threads of joy and laughter, happiness and tears." I am blessed to have many wonderful friends, all so different; but we have touched each other's lives with our faith and our prayers for one another.

Grace is a new friend from Kenya . She has such a beautiful attitude and a joyful faith and she makes wonderful chicken curry with sweet potatoes and no flour! We are very open in our group and share from the heart and have a lot of laughs. Our faith has brought us together and we all love to read.

THE SABBATH

There is a season for everything. In spring the trees wake up and new buds appear and in the fall the leaves are blown and scattered upon the earth and the tree looks barren and dead. But it is not. It is taking time to REST! !

The Sabbath is for me a time set aside, a moment, an hour, a day or even more to rest in the love that breathed into me the gift of life. It is a time when I allow my brain to be peaceful and listen to my heart tell me who I really am; to recognize my brokenness and my emptiness and know there is healing and that I can be filled spiritually; as I allow the stillness to speek to me.

For me it is that I am a child of God. It is time to reflect on creation and rejoice in it. It is a time to enjoy just "being" not longing for perfection or happiness but finding within myself a secure place of contentment. The spirit within us hungers and longs for the touch of the Master's hand, the great Spirit that still hovers over creation.

Life is full of disappointments and discouragements that muddy our sense of self and our sense of self-worth. I long to be healthy, to be full of energy, to do all the things that I feel excited about; but I find that my body grows weary and I run down like a dead battery. I have to be gentle and compassionate with myself and be thankful that I have been called to do only small things.

Life is full of noise and though I love listening to the radio or listening to music there are times when I need to be completely quiet. The mysteries of God come like a whisper, like the gentle breeze that blows in upon us, or like the sounds of nature; a bird or water spilling down over rocks, or the rustling leaves of the trees. Even the sound of rain that wakes me in the night makes me thankful for water that nourishes the earth and gives me fresh water to drink.

Life is full of beauty and wonder. Our world is full of colour. I read of a person emerging from a bomb shelther to a world of rubble and he saw just a small patch of green grass and he felt there was still hope in the midst of all the suffering. We are reminded to light a candle and to be a light ourselves. Prayer restores me when my light grows dim; this is not a prayer of asking but just receiving and resting in unconditional love. It is the knowledge that I am forgiven over and over again. No matter what saintly mask we try to put on we all sin in thought, in words in selfishness that demands it's own way. We all have emotional pain that demands to be in control and not wanting to allow ourselves to be vulnerable but the truth is life calls us to take risks to reach out beyond our own pain to be open to listening to the sadness and worry of others.

Life can shatter our illusions and self-denial but there is healing when we take time to be thankful. Thankfulness is good for the soul and the brain and the heart.

Use your imagination to see all that you have to be thankful for. "Take time to be Holy"
the words of the song remind us; take time to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to his words and to feel his hand resting so gently upon you.

THANKFULNESS

I am so thankful we live in a peaceful world where we have freedom to worship and learn.
I pray that one day it will really be a land of equal opportunity and justice for the poor and abused; and corruption in government and high places will be ended. My hope is for the next generation to rise up and speak up and change the rottenness as it continues to be exposed but not dealt with.
I am so thankful for the beauty of nature, for trees turning colour proclaiming that winter is coming and reminding us to be thankful for each sunny day.

I am amazed at how many things I have to be thankful for; the list keeps growing and growing.

I am going out to lunch with my girlfiends at Carolyn's house. She will have the table set so beautiful and we will have to catch up on all the things going on in each other's lives.

I got asked just yesterday to share my thoughts about being thankful and at first my cranky self was annoyed. Yesterday was a busy day at the Nursing Home visiting and coming home tired but it is always a happy tired. Tavia had come to visit and was there with dad when I rushed in to have a cup of coffee and a peiece of glutin-free cinamon cake my friend had made for me.

Dad and Tavia shared a pizza. So much for soup and grilled cheese. I thought every one liked grilled cheese. Dad certainly does. The visit was long and I went immediately to bed as dad drove her home and picked up video's from the library. We had ordered three and just one we had seen before. So thankfully we could watch it in bed.

So I had no time to thinking of writing about thankfulness and I was not all that happy about doing it.

I woke up this morning with ideas coming when last night I could think of nothing but being thankful that I could go to bed and sleep!

I am thankful for friends and family and the joy they all bring into our lives.

I am thankful for this blog that allows me to grumble as well as being thankful!

I CANNOT BELIEVE

I just wanted to take one more picture to try to capture the colorful rocks, but I dropped the camera in the water. I could not believe it.

I cannot believe that some people seem to have so much suffering in their lives. Why does a young girl go back on drugs when she has been off them for months and must know the suffering she is causing her parents. Also there are so many people struggling with health problems, aging parents and unhappiness over their own lives or that of some one close to them.

I cannot believe I have been awake since 4. I might as well get up as lie there unable to sleep.

I cannot believe I dropped my camera in the pond and now it does not work. Yes, I believe that I need water-proof cameras and water proof cell-phones. I really cannot believe that dad is taking this so calmly. I am very upset with myself.

I could not believe how long it took to get the house cleaned up. You can go along and just ignore the dirt until all at once you see it all. We were talking about being free of your past in our home group and how we are never entirely free. I said that we cannot live in a world without getting dirty but as believers we can trust God to wash us and make us clean and create in our brokenness a new spirit and a new heart.

Now that I can believe! ! !

We live in a world where we all experience some suffering, some we bring on ourselves some others cause us. But I believe that good can come out of it. For one thing we learn compassion and we also find God when we see that our suffering breaks His heart too. We are called to be people of mercy and humility and honesty.

Suffering has the power to break the ego's power over our soul and allows the spirit to breath new life into us.

The unbelievable becomes real; really believable! ! !

CERTAINTY VRS. UNCERTAINTY

I am contrasting tidy [neatness being a way to defy the chaos and disorder found in the world around us.]

with untidy. lol [means lots of laughs in facebook talk]

I am certain that old age is the funniest thing that can happen to those lucky enough to live long. The only cure is a sense of humor and to think of yourself as young in heart and spirit if not in body. A lot of people would be happy if the doctor told them to go home and eat ice cream but I was unhappy because I have this silly rash; but I am certain now it is only another joke of old age.

Mr. Hawkins looks at a giraffe and sees a strange animal not wired correctly I look at a giraffe and I see a Creator with a sense of humor. I love the way the Bibe starts :"in the beginning" and then we have this story full of immagination and life. No one can be certain and science has some things it can prove but others will always be built on the uncertainty of probability.

Religion is taking a bad rap in this our modern age especially if we look at all the negatives. An open mind is good but an open heart is a treasure that holds beauty and grace. You can never stop learning and for me the "journey of the spirit" is the most important. Maybe because facts and dates do not stay with me. But the stories of Jesus are so real and so full of honest life I can remember them. Jesus does not take the mystery out of life but brings God into all of life. He treats women with respect and worthy of becoming his followers.

Dad and I will bring home a D.V.D. from the library and when we start to watch one of us is certain we have seen it before but the other has forgotten. So I am certain we watch the same ones over and over. Neither one of us can remember the ending so I quess that is why we keep watching.

To be able to read and learn is such a gift that I value more and more. Wisdom is passed down to us through the ages.

"The heart has its reasons of which the mind knows nothing." Pascal

DARK AND LIGHT

The water looked calm then the wind started blowing all the leaves down upon us.

Sunlight brightens up our day!

This is the harvest moon so beautiful and so big it takes your breath away, although the clouds are coming over it and it's light will be dulled for awhile. It is getting so much colder I had to run in the house quickly after I took this picture as I was freezing.

To go or not to go!

Dad says I have to keep the appointment with the doctor about the rash on my neck which is finally getting all better. I believe it is dermatitis herpetiformis which accompanies people with celiac. Mostly small itchy blisters form and for some reason I am getting them all over but I am trying so hard to stay away from glutin. I may be in the dark about something I am eating but I think it is doubtful.

I started this to see if I could find my pictures and right now they are still there.

The spiritual journey can take us into a dark place; the dark night of the soul, the place of uncertainty and doubt, yet there is always a possibility or renewed and restored faith as the light gradually brightens! One decides what one will believe with the mind and the heart will gradually become more aware of what cannot be seen but experienced or felt!