THE STRUGGLE

Yes, I have been struggling and I have to confess I have been having cookies for breakfast.  Gluten-free of course.  No matter, what we struggle with, poor health, family issues, financial stress, finding faith in a faithless world [or so it seems] emotional problems, missing loved ones who move away the list could just go on and on.

I know without a doubt that we are not alone in our struggles.  "Where there is struggle there is life" I do not know who said that but some very wise person.  I bought myself for Christmas the book "What Good is God" by Philip Yancy and I do not always agree with his writings but I like the way he says things.  Some books just seem to preach at you, yeah I can get preachy at times too.  I was also given a book by Jane called "The Genesis Trilogy" by Madeline L'Engle who I really love because she is a lover of beauty and mystery.

I love to read and have been trying to read books I may not agree with.  I have struggled with many of them.

At our church we have three very different Bible Studies.  I belong to a middle of the road one but we have people who are at both ends, some taking it literally and some who don't.  The main thing is that we have now become knit together as a happy group of friends and we laugh a lot and we also share our heartaches.
Agree never except to listen and learn.  Sometimes I come home tired out from laughing!

All my life I have struggles with tiredness.  My mom would take me to the doctor and everything seemed okay, mainly they would check your blood.  I was happy when the very serious doctor told me I had a hole in my heart from which blood leaked but since I had lived this long not to worry about it.  I was happy because I said that must be the reason for my tiredness and I wanted to let my mom know.  Mom is in heaven and the doctor said no that would not in his opinion cause tiredness.  I am going to believe it did because I feel better thinking it wasn't some how my fault.  I would play hard but then be completely exhausted and I always have gone to bed early.

I have lost faith in All experts and that may not be a good thing but it is where I am at.  I talked to my sister-in-law who has a great sense of humor and is married to my very serious brother so it is good she has the ability to laugh at life.  She is having problems with sciatic nerves and it is very very painful.  They can not hike like they use to do and now she can not ski.  The doctor so far has not been helpful.  She laughingly said that at times she feels like shouting herself but then she would proberly miss.

Embracing the struggle of old age if you have health problems can be very hard.  I am so thankful that I can still go for walks.  I am slow at taking advice from family or friends if it means seeing the doctor just because it often seems like a waste of time.  I know that I need to do all I can to keep healthy.

I believe in the power of prayer and the power of letting go.  I am grateful for what I do have, like two daughters who live close, and a good [sometimes annoying husband] and good friends.  I have a loving family and I feel their love whether they are close or far away.

God is Good but He allows us to struggle so that we can become stronger and more compassionate.
I would say more loving but often I find that when I am very tired I also get very cranky but that's life!