THE STRANGE BIRD.

DAD JUST HAPPENED TO GLANCE OUT THE BEDROOM WINDOW

AND SAW THIS BIRD KNOCKING TO GET IN ACROSS AT OUR NEIGHBPOR'S.

Busy day today with church, Vinyl Cafe taping in town with Carol and Panteli and pot luch supper tonight with our book club.

I made a mess of the Christmas letter as I was trying to do it all in ine day and sent out a very messy letter so I am glad to just forget it all today.

Maybe I am just as strange as this bird! One thing is good that dad and I can laugh at the silly mistakes we are always doing.

Good luck Rick on entering your Masters.

I HAVE BEEN TOLD I AM MY WORST ENEMY

It would really help my back pain, this is upper back that sometimes goes into the chest, if I rest more. Yesterday I had no time to rest before I went visiting at the Nursing Home. Today I will walk over to see Janet and then I have a Christmas luncheon. To-morrow we are thinking of going to Ben,s soccer game at 12. I enjoy my walks with my friends and I want to keep doing things. The trouble is once the pain gets real bad nothing helps.

I tried to get into see my doctor but it will be three weeks. But I am determined to get something that will take away the pain like you had Ken, Celebrix or something, even for the month of December. I may just go over to the old doctor at the clinic which annoys my family doctor but his receptionist does not seem helpful and I feel like I am on the crank list.

I made dad phone his doctor and he got in within three days, he phoned Thrusday and the dddoctor was off Friday soo he got in Monday. Dad is till having pain in his lip, shoulder, and knees. But he takes something and it does help.

I have been told that the pain shows on my face. The best thing to do is lie flat down because sitting does not help.

Kim and Mike dropped by last night and dad sure loves a visit. He loves telling his stories and he really enjoys himself.

My Christmas letter was not really done right and the right pictures were not put on. Dad does the pictures. I was just going to draft it and change it.

I actually came home and tried to get it off and when I turned the computer on it came on again.

Yes, I am going to get some more help and I will try to rest.

Melina I thought you looked very lovely in your picture and of course Matthew is darling. We love gettig your pictures.

I love the morning time because I wake up feeling good so that is a lot to be thankful for.

Hockey Game

JUST BEFOR THE GAME STARTED

The score is tied 2 2 between Calgary and Van. Kim and Mike just left so I 'll write tomorrow. This is grampa - the Canucks lost 3-2 - but it was a good game. Had a nice visit with Mike and Kimberly - she says I'm always telling people to read my stories out loud - well i like listening to my stories, if they are funny that is. It has been raining all day today - went for a walk (this is still grampa) got all tuckered out and came home.

MORGAN ABOUT TO POUNCE

A FAMILY DAY AT THE SOCCER GAME

CHRISTMAS 2008

This was an uncomplete and unedited version that was not suppose to be published.

It all began at Creation when LOVE brought beauty out of all the chaos and a great mysterious hand shaped the universe and the world into existence. Love brought unity into the dysfunction caused by the great burst of unformed energy.

This love was darkened by the evil that grew out of disagreements and selfishness and greed that thrived on power and corruption. The heart of the Creator was saddened and He sent into this world s child, a child of grace, a child of wisdom and compassion to teach the teachable the compassion of love. Some how each one of us has a purpose to fulfill in our lifetime.

Larry and I have been surrounded by the love of our family and the love of the unseen reality that created and sustains our existence. We have grown closer together. and we appreciate our family that can discuss and argue and laugh together.

This year we welcomed baby Matthew, son of Melina and Ken, brother to Jessie, Hobey , Brittany and Tyler. We were thrilled.

Our daughter Sandra and her husband Randy are in Australia visiting them. We wished we were there. We sure do miss them but hope to see them this summer.

Each of our children and our grandchildren and our great grandchildren have been a miracle and their lives bless us each day, Now the grandchildren have boyfriends and Theresa and Mikie are married and started their own family with Ben 5 , and Morgan 2. These little arms give us the most amazing hugs..

Yes, we now have more aches and pains; especially Larry who has a lot of old injuries come back to haunt him; but he would probably say the joy he had in playing hockey was worth his discomfort now. He has conquered his prostate cancer after having hormone treatment [hot flushes and all] and radiation. He has a nasty bit on his lip now but he is being treated with better care now.It would be wonderful to say that we sailed through this on the top of the world but in reality there have been days when one of us felt down and discouraged. We have found it is harder to see someone you love suffer than bearing your own pain.

I am able to go for my long walks and both Larry and I do our visiting with the elderly. I am having back pain that hopefully will go away one of these days. The back rubs from Larry are excellent!

It is harder to get enthusiastic about writing cards and planning Christmas activities. At this stage I do not know if I will be able to attend some of our Christmas parties.

We are looking forward to having Brittany and her boyfriend Byran come from Australia for Christmas. We will have Christmas dinner at Carol and Panteli’s house, and Christmas morning a brunch at our house before Brittany and Byran leave at 2 o’clock.
We will miss Rick and Ranu and Lucas ; Ken and Melina and family, and Stephan and Shawna in Edmonton , and brother Cameron in Edmonton. Rick is working in Fort McMuray challenging the Oil companies, and Leah Rick’s oldest daughter, has resumed her nursing course and lives near by in Burnaby. Chris has a good steady job and a lovely girlfriend Belinda.

Kim and Mary, and boyfriends Mike, and Michael John , are upgrading careers, and going to college. They are all very adventuresome!

We had wonderful trips to Chilliwack to see Ben play scoccer and Morgan do her ballet lessons and have a visit with Mikey too. Sadly Mikey has hurt his back and hip and will be off work for a month. Oliver should be joining us to go to Coast Guard School. in Van.

We had a lovely week end at Harrison Hot Springs that are family treated us to.

When we travel to Vancouver we always drive down to the Sylvia Hotel, a Vancouver Historic place, and sitting by the window or out on the balcony we have a great view of the ocean and all the boats coming and going. We also see all the people strolling by and we feel like we are on a holiday.

We look back at all our happy memories and our hearts are overflowing with thankfulness. I have found a place within myself, which I call me and God] where I go to feel His amazing and unconditional LOVE!

JANE AND I

I have been richly blessed to have such a good friend as Jane.
We had another walk today and sharing our concerns lightens both our burdens.

SANDRA AND RANDY

FROM OUR BEDROOM WINDOW - IT IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD

We had a beautiful sunset to end our day. Carol spent the morning with us addressing cards but would you believe it I could not find Shawna and Stephen's address. She listened to our woes
that really are not woes but just feeling ; for me, this strange underlying sadness.

Much better now. Christmas Eve dinner at Carols and Sunday brunch at our house if you are here.

WHERE HAS THE HOLINESS GONE FROM CHRISTMAS?

THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
EVEN IF THERE IS TRAFFIC

Christmas is work and stress and dressing up and Santa Clause and what present can I give and what food should I make. Where is Jesus? We have forgotten to ask him to the party? Where is the Hush of Holiness that comes to the empty soul and fills it with indescribable beauty.

How can a small child, a tiny baby, born so long ago bring to us the awe of the angels who sang from heaven, the humble adoration of shepherds in simple robes, the humility of kings who knelt before this wee little babe.

Did they know, really know, this child would bring the very holiness of God not to the church but to the mountain side, to the seashore, to the roads he walked upon, to the places he visited the homes of the outcasts and sinners.

The priests came to mock and criticize and called him a tool of Satan. Yet, his very word cast out evil from unstable minds and brought peace to their souls.

I have no desire to write Christmas cards or even to buy presents. How can we celebrate when the insanity of war carries on; leaving young people scared or dead. Families mourn and cannot find comfort. Homeless people are everywhere and all politicans do is talk.

My 100 year old friend at the Newton Regency may have to leave. She is too old and too tired and too confused to be moved again. The government makes these decisions and ordinary people are helpless. Will she be there when I go on Thrusday I don't know. I have walked into rooms where people are dying but there was peace and yes that holiness of angels; but to walk into an empty room and not know where the person has gone is uterly heartbreaking.

We have all these great univercity trained people who are suppose to run our cities, our hospitals our schools, our churches and they have no compassion.

Yes, we have sent our box away filled with goodies for a child in a far off country, yes we meet next week to make gift baskets for poor and we out a lot of love into this making them very beautiful, and we will buy a meal for a homeless person one or more, and we make our hampers and we give to the foodbank and this is all apart of our church activities.

Maybe this is the holiness that comes in serving and giving and caring.

Carol has just phoned to get addresses and I spent last night searching for Stephan's address because I had a special card for him. I just gave Sandra his address and now I cannot find it. I feel like I am going crazy.

I will beg the doctor to give me something to take away the pain just while we go through Christmas. I have a ladies get together on Friday and a party this Sunday night but it is no fun when all you want to do is go home and crawl into bed and rest.

0000000So guys cheer me up!

The good news is that dad and I have agreed where to put the Christmas Tree by the hole in the wall so you can see it in both rooms. I want a resonable small tree and dad is going for bigger!

MCLOUDS DAUGHTERS

TOO TIRED TO WATCH THE SHOW LAST NIGHT BUT MAYBE IF WE HAVE A NAP NEXT mONDAY WE CAN STAY AWAKE UNTIL 10. I would really like to see it but all the people we did see seemed different.

WORK

A SIMPLE THING LIKE A GLASS OF WATER


Work seems to be a big part of all that we are and do

Do you like your work?

Are you able to relax and forget about it when you leave it?

Do you feel your work is valued?

Even getting ready for a holiday and sight-seeing and visiting is exciting work; well at least it takes effort but happiness is our reward!

My main job now is trying to keep track of when we are doing what. I thought the meeting this Wed. was next Wed. I thought the Friday pot-luck was on Friday but it is on Sunday. I am trying to change my visiting day at the Nursing Home to a Tuesday which will confuse everyone there as they will think it is Thurs.

I have finally raked up all those thousands of leaves and they are in little bags waiting to be picked up. The first hour was fun but then it became "work". Going for a walk in the morning takes a real effort some days but I am always glad I did it. Today is cool but raining.

I understand what Theresa is saying about being a stay at home mom. I know that I was always busy and always having to cope with difficult problems. You wake up and you start the day feeding and clothing and getting everyone else off for the day. Your day ends when everyone else is in bed and you are lucky if you have the energy to take your clothes off to fall into bed.

I admire all the young moms today, those who work at home, those who go to school and those who have a job.

My work now is trying to keep us both healthy and finding things to enjoy in life.

So many wonderful memories of our exceptional children that made us laugh and cry. We are surrounded by pictures of all our family and our love for them all fills our hearts with great joy!

Somehow God is working all things together for our good. Kim and Carol will be making pottery today and taking a lump of clay and shaping something beautiful. Michael John's mom Jean and sister Sherri will be back home. We really appreciated their making such a good meal for us all. Sherri gave us some helpful advice about pain control. We were like lumps of clay just watching and feeling we should be doing something.

I think Sandra and Randy are on the move. What a unexpected surprise that Sandra did so well flying [maybe she does have a bit of her dad in her after all}

I think Rick maybe in Edmonton but not much news from him or his offspring.

Mary and Michael John have a job of taking care of all the animals back home at the zoo at Sandra and Randy's Kim's Mike has not left for Invermere yet where he is hopeful that a job is waiting for him.

Even Jesus got hot and tired, hungry and exhausted and ask this strange woman who came alone and late in the day, to give him a cool drink! She also was exhausted, hot and tired, but she was also an outcast, looked down upon by the other women. She gave Jesus a drink and he gave to her new life. Her past did not matter because now she had good news to bring to everyone.

A simple gift of a drink of water proved to be life-changing. When I go visiting often people ask for a drink of water which may be just out of their reach and they are always so grateful. It is the simple things we do at home or at work, the little acts of kindness that mean the most!

Yes, I liked being a stay at home mom, any other dreams were forgotten. I think it would have been nice if at the end of the day there would have been a gold star placed beside my name.
No one says thanks for making the bed, or doing the laundry, or driving the children around, or reading stories, or cleaning up all the messes continually. I never expected it but I think it would have given my life a little more meaning! I am guilty of not expressing my appreciation for dad cleaning up after breakfast. He does a great job and I feel so happy seeing it so clean when I come back from my walk. Thanks dear! We make a good team!

What do you think?

REASSURRED

OUR BACKGROUND ON COMPUTER - ALWAYS MAKES US CHUCKLE AND FEEL HOW TRULY BLESSED WE ARE.

Larry and I visited the skin cancer doctor in White Rock today and he told us because the lips are so sensitive that he has been putting too much on and causing the swelling and pain, so he is to mix it with vaseline, but give it a rest for a few days.

It has been a big worry for both of us.

ME AND MY BAD DREAM

It was so real and I had no awareness that I was dreaming.

I was so happy and excited as I sat down at a small table. I had a pen and some paper and my mind was full of questions and answers. I could not wait to get started; but all of a sudden a group of noisy people surrounded me laughing and talking. I right away decided to move to another quiet table but already feeling that I had lost some of my thoughts. I tried to get started writting but again the crowd surrounded me and it was just too noisy to even think.

I moved again to a third table but as I looked and saw the crowd following I found that all I once knew had become totally confusing. I did not know the questions nor any answers. I walked away feeling crushed with a huge sense of grief and loss.

MULTIDIMENSIONAL

I am writing down some thoughts just for myself.

Although Christianity is the center of my being and all that I am draws me deeper into my faith.
Words cannot describe the feeling that is with me as soon as I wake up knowing there is Someone that waits to be with me. I make my coffee and settle in my big chair with my prayer list. Today my prayers will be for dad to get the help and advise he needs for this growing cancer on his lip. It is very painful and noticeable. It often appears that doctors do not take great notice of things until they look bad.

In the silence of the early morning I do not even notice the sunrise that gradually fills the sky. I try to listen to Jesus whispering with me as we pray together.

As I pray down my list of family and friends and my church list I am aware that so many people on our church list are having a lot of suffering. I repeat their names slowly as I pray for their faith to be strengthened and their courage and hope renewed each day. I pray for healing;
for suffering to be relieved and for endurance and courage to be the gift of God,s grace for that day.

I believe that only the spirit of Jesus can enter deep into their suffering. Some do not like the cross as a cymbal of our Christian faith but it is at the cross where we experience the compassion of Jesus and we see the love of God poured out for all who suffer. In death there is life.
Jesus walks through the valley of the shadow of death with us and protects us from fear.

My faith is simple and it fills my soul with peaceful moments that I long to take through the day but I know that is impossible as my mind is working on other problems that I need to act upon.
But for a moment I allow peace to surround me and bless me.

I am reminded of the moment I walked forward at church and felt the coolness of the oil on my skin. I was not aware of the minister nor of anyone else only a pure sense of joy.

Religion has it's traditions with profound complexity with "the ancient rhythms of my faith".

It all comes back to heaven's song singing over us until we feel it stir within us.

Jesus loves me and you and everyone all over the world.

THE IMAGINATION

There has to be a place and a time where you can go to find rest from striving and relief from pain. We live the present moment with the past only an emotion away. Our imagination can free us from taking life too seriously and comfort us with the awareness that my life is a gift given to me to give away. My personality is who I am and has the amazing potential to create good out of the failures that have caused me painful memories. This will cause us to feel irritable and angry, gloomy and depressed.

This place this time is called the Sabbath; a time to rest to enjoy the beauty of life, to find the peace deep in your soul. All week we have been like the prodigal ignoring where we have come from and trying to run away to find happiness.

In all of life there is a time for everything and we need to find time to dream and to rest and to enjoy what we have and find the peace that comes to the soul that is at rest.


I am feeling the first ache in my back but I am believing that there is a hand of healing that is resting on me as I let myself relax and feel the love that surrounds me. Thanks Jesus!


Give up chasing for answers that are "blowing in the wind" but let them come back to you.


FAITH keeps the spirit of Jesus ALIVE and allows us to receive and feel His loving touch.

Well getting up and falling over the foot stool is one way to start the day. I just told dad last night we need to be more careful walking around, meaning of course he needs to be.

I walked over to mail a few letters and bought something different for supper dad is not to happy with my slow cooker hash. We got the cupboard cleaned out a bit and fixed the fence board that blew in with the wind.

Dad opens up talking on the phone but otherwise is quiet because it hurts him to talk.

He sure enjoys talking to Melina and Ken and hearing how Sandra and Randy are doing. They are off to Sydny and Ken is off to work. Matthew keeps Melina and Jessie entertained I think.

Just found out that "McClouds daughters" are on the T. V. here on Friday nights. We feel like we are right there when we watch them.

Machael John and Mary and Jean and Sherri and Carol and Panteli went to the Winerry yesterday but 6 to 8 is too late for us now.

My what a difference a year has made for us two we are feeling our age.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON AT THE WHITE SPOT!

This is dad hiding behind the menu trying to decide what to order. As you can see he is not too happy. His lip is extremely sore. But we have an appointment on Monday. We can hardly wait.
Watched hockey there and came home for some more hockey.

My Saturday

Saturday morning was cool and clear after the windy rainy night. Had a good walk with Janet.
Came home and dad was worrying about a blown fuse which affected the bathroom upstairs.
He was very frustrated. Well, why not fix the pump on the pond I suggest, at least we can make our fishes happy. It turned out to be a brillant idea because the pump in the pons made the fuse blow and it all got solved.

This is my

THEY MADE IT!

Randy and Sandra arrived last night at Melbourne and now are enjoying their visit with Ken and Melina; Jessie and Matthew. We have a picture of Sandra holding Matthew. The wind and rain that was blowing here must have blown all the way over there because it was raining and blowing on the trip from Brisbane to Melbourne and made that trip extremely bumpy and some, even our Randy got sick. Randy is such a good sport, that is why he is there. Sandra sounded good, and was able to relax, (with the help of Adavan.)

I wonder if she had any inner dialogue with the Man Upstairs.

If Jean and Sherri took a ferry over to Victoria it would have been a rough ride I think.

I had my morning walk before the weather got bad. Dad is feeling miserable because his lip has gotten so sore and he seems to be having shoulder pain etc. etc. He sees the specialist on Monday after I insisted he try to get an appointment. He has been putting the burning oitment on and it looks miserable.

One of our favorite shows was on "The Hospital" so we enjoyed that and had all our candles and our weather lamp Ken and Melina bought us but the power stayed on.

I am so happy to have good news to share.

THE GOOD- BYE PHONE CALL

Dad said, "they are only going for a few weeks"; as I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes.
Sandra and Randy were off to their big long journey to Australia. Yea, I think to myself Ken was just going for a year too. We volunteered to take them to the airport but it fit in with Mary's plans.

We love having our family close by but we realize that they have their own journeys to travel .

We did leave our families back on the praires to move here to the coast.

As I read the book "My Jesus Years" about a Jew comparing his religion to the Christian faith and all the different churches he experiences; I am reminded of my spiritual journey in the quest for faith. I look at the clouds knowing that they are continually changing shape and I believe that it is good to grow through all our experience. Gradually, we move beyond our selfish and self-centered reality, to become aware of how near God is to us all.

Aware of the mysterious spirit living within us and with us all. We are encouraged to live in the moment and to listen with our hearts that hears unspoken words. Time seems to go faster as you grow older. I never have enough time in a day to do all that I had planned.

The man on C.B.C. was sharing how in the later years we find that it is what is changing within us that is the most important. We are learning to laugh at ourselves together.

THE WEATHER HERE AND IN AUSTRALIA

SUN RETURNS - TWO DAYS LATER




















SUNSET - STORM MOVING IN


We had no idea how terrifying the storm was in Brisbane until we saw the video. It is amazing the house remained standing and thankful the family members experienced no physical damage but I am sure it will take awhile for this shaking violent storm of destruction to become a distant memory. We are so thankful that they were protected and survived.


We had a great time visiting with Michael John's mom Jean and sister Sherri. They nade a delicous supper for us and did all the work of cleaning up. Mary brough Justice over and he has grown so much. Michael John and Mary have fun playing with him and he sure loves them both.
Sandra looked very beautiful with her new hair cut and even though she had had a long day looked in good spirits.

Sherri was very helpful giving us some advice on pain and she certainly knows from her spinal damage and her knowledge of nursing a lot. Dad listened to her about the leg pain relief but right now his lip is very ugly and red and sore and there is the concern about his glucoma in the left eye.

Larry enjoys visiters and it was a very relaxing time for us both.

I am finding especially when I have a full day the back pain gets very bad by evening. We have four Christmas parties scheduled but right now I do not think we will go.

My prayer is that we both find relief for our pain and that our faith will strengthen us and give us hope. Today we will be shopping for presents for our Christmas Box so that will be fun.

Again and again I am remimder of how much we have to be thankful for.

AUTUMM LEAVES

After slaving over a hot stove making dad and I breakfast kim wanted some fresh air. She raked the leaves and we went for a walk and now the house is quiet again as she has left for school.

I am setting the table for the gang coming for supper. It is a perfect day; warm and sunny.

We just heard about the bad storm that hit Brisbane and actually damage the house the children live in. A window was blown in and a retaining wall blown down. At times like these your only concern is that everyone is safe.

They do need lots of rain in Australia so hopefully that is happening.

Maybe Ken has some comments?

A BUMP ON THE ROAD

LUNCH BESIDE THE RIVER ON WAY HOME

THE DRIVE ALONG RIVER ROAD

THE BEGINNING OF THE ROAD SANDRA TAKES TO WORK EVERY DAY - NOT TOO BUMPY

The news was disappointing at the eye doctor as dad received the news that the pressure in his left eye has increased. He had a sinking feeling even before going. We did not feel like enjoying our day down at the Sylvia taking pictures but both of us felt just like going home.

The Bible upon which our faith draws wisdom and strength encourages us to find meaning in our suffering. "Being a spiritual being requires effort." Benyamin Cohen - My Jesus Year.

This morning, like every morning, I take time to reflect and to pray.

A picture comes to my mind and that is how I experience the presence of God.
I see a bumpy road going up and down hills and on this road is a bus. A bus full of exuberant people hanging out the windows singing and laughing, just so happy to be together. Running along behind are the dogs barking at the cats inside the bus. Birds fly high above us all.
Unseen angels lift us high so that we are drwn closer to the light of Jesus.

We have experienced such great joy in our family even though we have all had sad tragic times.

I have always loved to sing and I believe that music has the power to heal and restore us.

"Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love" came into my mind this morning.

I hope and pray that I will always remember words that penetrated my soul and bring life!

TWO CAMERA NUTTERS

OUR LITTLE GUEST ROOM - WAITING FOR KIMBERLY

Dad has an appointment at the eye doctors in Vancouver today. We may drive along River Road and try taking pictures. I really spoiled our adventure with my stomach ache yesterday and it was such a nice day. We may go to the Sylvia for lunch if we are up to it.

Dad had a nice talk on the phone with Larry Olsson yesterday. They have great fun remembering the old times and they really care about each other.

I had coffee wirh a friend who has lost her husband. She rode her scooter over to Zellers, and I have a new friend now.

To-morrow is busy because I have a meeting of the U.C.W. at Colebrook and there is a guest speaker. I want to walk because I think it helps a bit. Mary and Michael John are coming with his mom and Justice to make supper for Sandy and Randy here because we have a dining room.
This is a farewell dinner [sigh] we will miss them. I will be praying for peace in Melbourne as the paper says there are some violent things happening. I will be praying for a safe trip too. Also heard there has been a storm in Brisbane.

Enjoy your day everyone! Well maybe the one of you who reads my thoughts.

We are looking forward to Kim coming tonight to sleep over and we will catch up on all her exciting news in the morning.

PARTICAPATION

I have been giving a lot of thought to our two totally different churches we attend. The larger and more lifely church with its comfortable seats has really the same goal our smaller more conservative United Church. Particapation and involment as we pray and worship together.
A time to reconnect to God and to join in with others who share our faith.

Yesterday at Colebrook the candles were light and there is now a big pile of rocks over which flows calming water. This is a time to catch our breath and experience the healing touch of oil.
This is a time to reflex on past regrets knowing the gift of amazing grace washes away all the guilt and regrets. A time to find new hope and new energy to inspire us.

I am reminded of the beauty and peace that makes this day different for those of us who set time apart to rest in the silence of prayer hoping for a glimpse of Holiness.

I wonder why some people seem to suffer so much more than others? God's ways are certainly higher than ours and some things we can only see as we look back to discover deeper blessings.

GOOD MORNING SANDRA

Yesterday we were anxious to get to Carol's after fighting a battle for parking spaces and long waiting lines at Chapters. Sandra did not make it any easier when she gave us the wrong name of the book for Shawna.

We drove a quick and very picturesque route along River Road. I was happy taking pictues and sure I had snaped some good ones of the river as we drove along beside it. It was not until today I realized that the camera was out of batteries.

The one picture of the birthday boy Panteli did not turn out well either.

Today we started out to return to the scene of the "crime" when I experience a terrible pain in my stomach and we had to return home. We were both disappointed because we were going to stop and both take pictures.

Yesterday was a fun time as Kerri Murphy came and her and Theresa kept us laughing!

Ben was thrilled he had new roller skates and had been able to use them while Morgan jumped and danced all around the place.

A FAMILY FULL OF DREAMS AND PLANS

AN ENJOYABLE EVENING WITH FAMILY AS MANDY GOES OFF ON AN ADVENTURE

Waking up with a headache and stomach ache after a night of bad dreams is not the best.

It would be great to be starting on an adventure like Sandra and Randy off to Australia with all their pain medication or to be like Mandy [Randy's daughter] off to University in Victoria.
Michael John and Mary and Kim and Mike are full of plans and great ideas. Theresa is looking into book publishing good for her. Leah is taking her nursing course so that is good. Maybe if we see Chris and Belinda we will hear what they are up to.

We see some comments on face book from Ken's kids and they seem to be full of ideas and enjoying their lives. I wish we knew more about Brittany's travel plans -waiting to hear. Matthew is going and looking cuter every day.

According to the Sun paper on Sat.15 the possibility of medical marijuana being accepted is now a greater reality. I think anyone with chronic pain should be able to get relief.

Larry had some recurring stomach problems still from the radiation so it is taking a long time to get over the treatment. Two football games helped his day.

We will be having fun at Carol and Panteli's celebrating his birthday. Rick will be doing his Sunday laundry. Although we never know, any day he may be doing it in some far away country!!

THE UNDERNEATH CURRENT

A PLEASENT VIEW WHILE ON OUR WALK FRIDAY WITH JANET

In every soul, in every family, and in all our relationships we struggle with conflicting thoughts and feelings. We want to have a healthy ego but we are aware that often we are saying to ourselves "I want, I think, I deserve, I need, I remember, I don't like" and many other day-by-day consciousness. Not matter what our age we all experience some ego angst that can make us feel anxious and deep within us , within myself, I feel an unworthiness.

Colebrook Church is doing soul searching trying to heal the deep wounds of miscommunication, mistrust and misunderstanding. The ego wants to blame others for its unhappiness and even our love for each other suffers because of the need to be right.

I have made many mistakes and have a sense of regret but hopefully I can learn from the past and move forward.

God is at work in all of our imperfections, if we allow Him to. I do not see Jesus looking at us and seeing a bunch of sinners or hyprocrites because of our weaknesses. I know that I need the grace of God to give me the courage to work through the mess within me.

The goal is to find new courage and new hope that transforms and renews us. This is our spiritual journey that redefines the meaning of JOY! A genuine joy that drawsa us together to be thankful and to inspire each other.

I am going to the meeting this Saturday morning, at Colebrook, to listen and to learn. I have enjoyed many good years at this place of worship and have many good friends there.

THE CHRISTMAS BOX

How hard can it be to put this Christmas Box together? Larry and I found it difficult and we are not sure it is done right even now. I grabbed this box at church thinking that we would fill it and give to less fortunate children than our own.

When I went visiting yesterday I nearly walked right by May's room. She is 100 and she was asleep in her big chair, she looked so tiny and frail. I hesitated but decided I would just sit with her for awhile. She sensed my presence and reached for my hand even though at first she did not know who I was. She told me how close she had been to death a few days ago and what a comfort her family had been to her. She misses her home and talked about some of her treasures she had been forced to give away. She was happy to have my visit.

How hard can it be to keep the story alive that gives meaning to Christmas?

It is hard to see older people suffering but even harder to see the children. Jesus could not save the world but taught others to go out and bring peace to everyone because we are all worthy to receive food and clothing; comfort and blessing.

TWO STORIES

I got mad and took off the two stories because the spell checker would not go away.

I am reading my book "My Year With Jesus" by the Rabbi's son Benyamin Cohen. He is reminding me of Paul. He makes fun of both the Jewish and Christian Religion. Many scholars feel that Paul has contaminated the simple teachings of Jesus with his doubts and theories and wrangling. His letters written in the midst of his various struggles and in the heat of immediate controversy. Thinking and writing under pressure he comes across as an "embattled messenger". As "disagreeable to himself and to others".

But in his writings there are strong evidences that he was a man who had had an amazing experience with Jesus that changed his life but not his personality. He was passionate and outspoken; a brilliant and energetic "Moses".

I love to believe but am learning to question some of my beliefs.

Very windy morning wondering if the power will go out. Plans for today are tea and Jane's with other "golden oldies" and visiting the real oldies at the nursing home.

TRUTH

JESUS, is the truth, that speaks through us as we share the life in the bread and wine!
The mystery of the Holy Spirit releases the life of Jesus to those who remember Him.
Did He not fill the jars of water that were used as containers for a sacred ritual with New Wine and in the doing so desecrates a religious icon.

The grapes that are turned into wine reminds us that Jesus said ," I am the vine".

We share this meal so that we will open our eyes to see the hungry and the poor all around us and as we share with them we are doing it to feed Jesus!

It is important to remember the past and the sacrifices that challenge us to live by courage and by faith.
Yesterday was a day full of emotions. The pictures come to your mind; that we have seen portrayed on the screen , come alive as we hear the music of the last reveille and we think of all those young people who died for us. Freedom does not come without sacrifice.

Today I lead the study at Colebrook Church with my good friends of many years. We are studying how to be truthful and also loving. We all have our daily tasks and responsibilities that give to our lives some sense of purpose.

It can be difficult at times to face the truth that we are neglecting our spiritual reality; because we are lost in our busyness and striving to succeed. I have looked to religion to help me understand and to overcome feelings of emptiness. I have found life that radiated from the love of Jesus that I have experienced at different times in my journey of faith.

All I can do is to try to live with that awareness; that there is an inner glow of creative energy that comes from my soul. I get caught up with the externals which can make me feel afraid and alone.

Jesus was a teller of truth and this is the truth that creates the love that lives within us.

Jesus taught us to open our hearts to the Father to experience His passionate love for us and we can treasure the beauty and holiness His Spirit is breathing into us.

Each of us has a small glimmer of the truth that allows the soul to blossom into an unique and valuable part of who we are. Yes, the truth can set us free if we allow it to transform our old negative ways into a beautiful and compassionate human being.

The difficult part is to speak the truth in love that walks on the same path with other searchers.

TIME

STANDING IN THE RAIN - REMEMBERING THOSE WHO DIED IN THE RAIN

Maybe it was just time or was it the new camera or the threat of going to the doctor; what ever Larry started to feel better yesterday. He even walked down to Zeller's. So many people have been praying so this is an answer to prayer. It is time to be thankful and we are.

We will be going to a Remembrance day service at New Westminster today. It looks like a miserable day which it often is on Nov.11. But it is an important day to remember all those who died in the wars and are still dying. War changed the lives of many families; destroying their dreams and hopes. It devastated them.

It is time to listen to the stories of the past and let the dying speak to us today.

I remember listening to the radio when World War 2 ended and the whole world exploded with joy and a new faith that there would never be another awful tragedy where so many young people lost their lives.

I feel very sad as our young Canadian people are fighting what seems to me a hopeless war in another country.

When will we learn how to create peace in our families, our jobs, our churches, our neighborhoods?

The Bible says "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall see God."

The peace we have today has been possible because so many sacrificed for us.
Communion reminds us of the sacrifice of Jesus that in giving up his life he was giving us new life.

FRIENDSHIPS

Yesterday we had a good visit with old friends at Colebrook Church. I volunteered to read scripture and then we went out for lunch with friends.

In the evenning we were invited to Cathy and Glen's to celebrate Desirae"s birthday which can be noisy and loud just like ours. Lots of laughs and lots of love.

Dad is up taking pictures with his new camera. I think he caught me looking very grouchy!
I will remember to smile all day today just in case he is sneaking up again. Does Ken do the same thing Melina?

"So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile smile" A song from the past wars.

FRIENDSHIPS

Yesterday we had a good visit with old friends at Colebrook Church.

MUSCIAL EVENNING

Dad and I went out to the Art's Center and enjoyed the music of the 60's. Elvis did not look much like Elvis but he sounded like him. Johnnie Cash looked and sounded just like him. It was a fun evening as we celebrated Peter's birthday.

Carol took the birthday girls out to a musical mystery play, also to thank them for house painting.
It took several try's to get them to be able to go out together. I know Theresa and Leah and Sandra went and maybe Kim and Mike and Mary and Michael John.

Dad really wants to buy another camera so then we can really take great pictures.

Last week we had two groups meeting in our house. They would totally disagree on some parts and some interruption of the Bible. They are good friends and we have fun with each group.
After all is said and done how important is the story of Adam and Eve?
I think we do have to be careful that it is not about being right but listening to what others believe with openness.
[This is larry not at all!]

I do think that evil has a voice and we need to know it.

The meaning and purpose of life are great mysteries and it is good to share with one another.
None of us know how long we may live but we know the importance of trying to live each day each moment with Generous Courage; which for me includes being passionate about what I believe.

Both dad and I are not walking as good as we did and certainly the fear of falling is a reality.
We come face to face with the reality of our immortality hoping that it is awakening within us new life.

What do I want to do with the rest of my live. My prayer is that I can love unconditionally especially when I do not understand the eccentricity of others!

We all sing different songs but the important thing is to learn to sing in harmony!

MY READING CLUB

I have never belong to a reading group other than Bible studies. I have learned a fair amount about religion but the truth that haunts us all is that the mystery at the center of it all will never be exhausted and we all read into this book our own understanding. I want something that shakes the foundation of life so vigorously that I cannot stay the same.

I like to picture Jesus as surrounded by a group of people and they are laughing together.
Life is a divine comedy "someone said" and we need to be humble enough to laugh at our mistakes. Children love to laugh and have fun and Jesus did say become like a child that enjoys life and sees it as an adventure. Discover who you really are; an individual first, before we can give to others and learn form our relationships.

There are always stories within any story that give it depth and cause us to reflect on our own lives.

Now, I have always loved mysteries but I find it hard to find good mysteries that challenge me but do not disgust me. So, for my book club you do not have to read all the chapters. I am just reading the chapters where my detetive sorts through the evidence and ignore all the disfunctional background that causes people to hate and to kill.

I have a feeling I would not fit it with most book clubs. Years ago we joined a group of super intelectuals listing off their grand acomphishments of reading. At that time I read
Perry amasson and Miss Marple stories. With four children it was hard to consentrate and really all I wanted to do was escape into a simple story that did not require too much thought.
I think after the first night of sharing what we read I never talked again.

WALKING WORKS

New Candle sticks! Yes I know the candles are crooked and the morror but I am standing tall.

It has been said that walking is good exercise. I have decided not to try skating or curling which I suppose is cowardly.

Larry walked over and got supper for me after I went visiting at the Nursing Home yesterday after his bad morning curling. That was very impressive! After we ate we walked over to the Applewood Tea House; where they were having open house with lots of goodies to taste. I love the fact we can walk to so many places; especially when I go to the store and forget what I went for, so it's back again. We bought some black candle stick holders.

I am reading a "Hilarious, Inspirational Exploration of Christianity from the Son of an Orthodox Rabbi. An insightful, moving and hysterical journey about finding one's faith."

Ken, would you guys like to read it I could send it with Sandy and Randy?

I think religion should be fun!

"Facing our own private calamities" opens a new world to us where we join many others having difficulties and we are all fellow travelers. One thing you learn as you go to doctor appointments and x-rays is that you learn to be patient and wait. The waiting room was overflowing yesterday as I had another x-ray. There was a young fellow on crutches and an old lady with a cane among all the others. It is an interesting place to be.

"We all have within us this capacity for Wonder, this ability to break the bonds of ordinary awareness and sense that though our lives are fleeting and transitory, we are apart of something larger, eternal and unchanging." -Learning to Fall by Phipip Simmons

Becoming a Professional photographer

It is hard to capture the beauty of the mountains as you speed along in the car. Telephone poles and old barns kept getting in the way as we drove home from Richmond. Another attempt to find the newspaper article of the ditch resue.

Life is complex and flits by us so quickly. Yesterday was one of those busy days that was full of discusions and opinons. My morning began with an early breakfast with Ron before the Tuesday morning breakfast club arrived. Oliver phones to say he had been accepted on the Coastguard. [I smile as I remember the prayer that Pastor Bill had prayed for him.]

Kim and Mick are full of optimism as they plan to travel and work. The spirit of the young people keep us looking ahead, creating and imagining new possibilities and ideas.

Youthfulness keeps the laughter alive and promises new life even when we feel the drain of old age threatning to distroy our dreams and make us forgetful.

The day ended as we discussed the spiritual signifigance of the death of Jesus. We all struggled with the difficulty of capturing the heart and purpose of God that promises to lift each one of us out of the ditch of death and dispair into a more meaningful life.

God speaks to us in the mystery of mountains and a cross that stands above us. The good news is that love flows from this amazing sacrifice into our lives today.

CLOUDS

Christianity has been clouded by poor theology and rigid fundamentalism so that the beauty of God's amazing grace has been distorted. Somehow; when we sing the song "Amazing Grace" all the misconceptions are lifted.

Life is full of questions; many have no answers. We question ourselves; our motives and our fears and insecurities. Another song tells of melting the clouds of sin and sadness away. I could not capture on the camera the beautiful pink of the sunset because it disappeared so quickly.

Words capture some of the mystery that surrounds us but prayer can lift us above the harshness of life so that for a moment we float free above the clouds and feel the warmth of the sun healing and restoring life.

I believe that Jesus told stories to stimulate our imagination and teach us to value our emotions and to let our painful experiences help us have compassion four others. Our memories are woven into our soul so that we learn from the past but allow new birth to free us.

Every Religion has it's truth but most of us fail to live out this truth.

When Jesus was baptized the white dove symbolized the transformation of his life that forced him to struggle with temptation before he was able to teach and live out of the truth of God!
Many books have been written and are still being written explaining what he really said and why.

We can be lost in intellectualizing and verbalizing and explaining when all we need to do is admit we are lost and be guided by the Spirit of Jesus that calls us to help the poor and heal the sick.

My faith has helped me discover my own worth and blessed my life with a desire to continue searching and learning especially with others. My faith has blessed me with dear friends.
I have known depression and joy, I have and am still struggling with health problems but I have found peace and fulfillment waiting for me when I look up and above the reality of what my physical eyes see and see with the eyes of the heart!

HILLARIOUS

SANDRA'S PERSONAL FASHON SHOW!

Sunday evening was a happy and I would describe it as hilarious evening at Carol and Panteli's.
Kim and Her Mike and Theresa were full of energy and fun. Sandra was trying on clothes for her big trip and Randy got caught up on family news. It is strange the things we remember and now for me even stranger the things I do not remember.

Church service was very uplifting and inspiring. There was a small children's choir to start us off.

Communion was a time to remember the story of Jesus breaking bread and drinking wine with his friends. The bread and the wine have sacred meaning for us as we share it together in His memory; and knowing that we have a bond of friendship with Jesus. A celebration of LIFE.

This is soul food that is good for the heart!

We are reminded of the "intensity" of God's love for us and the new freedom we have in Jesus.

THE FALL RALLY - BEWARE ALL DAY READ

CLEANING UP LEAVES AND PICKING LAST OF FALL FLOWERS

FALL RALLY

I have been asked to share my experiences as a lay-chaplain at the Peace Arch Hospital and how my life was touched by the people I visited on a weekly visit.


About 20 years ago my parents moved into a Nursing Home in Calgary. It was a difficult family decision but mom was getting worn out looking after dad who was in a wheel-chair. She would end up in hospital and I would go and look after dad and try to arrange more care for them both. Finally my brother and I decided on the advice of their doctor it was time for them to move to a Nursing Home.

I remember the first time we went to the Nursing Home to see them after they had just moved there. Everyone was leaving the dining room and there were mom and dad and they both really looked like they fit in. My heart sank and tears came to my eyes.
Mom was pushing dad in his wheelchair.

When I would go to Calgary to visit them I would spend all day at the home and I was very sad to see how few people had visitors.

I knew from my own personnel experience
the loneliness of sickness.

We were married in Regina and moved to Vancouver to a small basement apartment. We had no friends and Larry started right to work. I had found a job also but before I could start I was diagnosed with a bubal pregnancy and was told to stay in bed. Larry would be gone 10 hours a day so the days were very long for me We had no T.V. and I had morning sickness all day long

Larry was finding his job very hard so it was a difficult time for us both .Our car broke down so he had to take the bus to work. We were also short of money I would have to take the bus to see the doctor twice a week.

By a miracle Rick our baby moved into the uterus; this happened in the middle of the night when I had excruciating pain. We were very foolish to wait for the morning to call the doctor because I could have died.

I would have three more children but my health was failing because I had a condition that is called celiac which causes the body to re-act to wheat. Doctors did not know what was wrong with me. I was under a lot a stress looking after four young children. Larry worked shift work and took on a lot of other activities . I was left at home alone a lot. Looking after four small children and tired all the time.

He was worried about me but did not know how to cope with it

I finally was diagnosed when I felt that God told me to go to a certain specialist

I value prayer because I feel that my prayer and the prayer of my friends saved my life. I went through many difficult years feeling very sick and very alone. I have faced the pain of the past and have learned to forgive because I am forgiven of all my mistakes.
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I value my friendships and my church community because they have brought healing and joy into my life.

I wanted to also reach out to those in hospital and nursing homes.

Fortunately I heard about a course at White Rock Hospital where they were training lay people to be lay-Chaplains.
It was a three month in depth course where you learn about hospital rules and expectations; how to be a listener, when to be a friendly visitor and when to ask if they want prayer. I meet a wonderful group of people and we shared our stories of why we wanted to do this.

I can remember the first time I visited on the third floor of extended care. I felt very nervous as I went from room to room. I had a list of about 12 people to visit. Some people welcomed me while others declined a visit. Every week I would visit the same people and gradually was able to spend even a few moments with all of them.

I had to learn to go in to visit with a story about something in my own life. It did not matter what it was about, a lost key, or a burnt supper, or my garden of growing weeds, my story would remind them of something in their lives.
They would often be sitting there with a vacant stare until something I said they could relate to and wanted to tell me about.

Most of them wanted to talk about the past and they rarely complained about their poor health. I was amazed how patiently the nurses would deal with some of their demands.

I had one lady who always asked me for cookies and sometimes I would forget until I got to the ward then I would rush back down and buy her something from the cafeteria. I do not like to bake but I would make a batch and freeze them so I had them to take.


They always reminded me that I should not take life for granted and that it is important to live each moment with thankfulness for the love that surrounds me.

Everyone of us has a story and they are all important and interesting. I visited a lady who was 100 years old and the first thing she said was I don’t know why I am here. Then I got her talking about her life and when I left I said to her that visiting her had been a great blessing to me because I had been with some very sick and miserable people.
One lady loved Western Stories so I had to look around to find some Old Zane Gray Stories. She was blind and loved to listen to the stories. Another lady likes cat stories and another wants me to read from the newspaper.

One dear lady who had a near death experience asked me as soon as I entered her room if I needed prayer for anyone. She had a prayer list and she asked everyone who came in. It so happened I was worried about one of my children, and I know we always have our children on our minds, so I gave her his name. Things improved.

One lady was very shy but she would always smile and hold my hand. I would ask her how she was and she always said “Just fine.”

I have been with people with dementia and this can be difficult. I have been shouted at and even slapped in the face; but I have also been able to calm them down. One lady was stark naked refusing to get dressed for the nurses but I was able to get her dressed.

I have just sat quietly with others who are dying and often been able to spell family off so they could go for a little walk or have a bit to eat.

Sometimes I do not feel like going and sometimes I do not feel like I do very much but I am always glad afterward that I went. No course could cover all the experiences that I had and every time I went it would be different.

Some share stories of abuse that they had never told anyone else. I would prayerfully listen knowing that the compassion of Jesus was with us.

One of my favorite scriptures is “that nothing can ever separate us from God’s amazing love.”

We are all wounded people who need to experience again and again the healing power of Jesus.

“God is creating us in this present moment, loving us into being.”

I look at Jesus and I see him reaching out with love for the small children and lifting them up on his lap, I see him healing the sick and the hurting ones, I see him weeping with those who have lost a loved one and I see him celebrating life joyfully at a wedding.

This summer I have been going to the Cancer Clinic with my husband Larry where he received radiation treatment. As I sat and waited I would visit with others and made some good friends. I was amazed at the positive attitude that most of them had. We were sharing the same problems and everyone felt that they were being understood. They had experienced fear but were able to still have hope for the future.


For me I found in Jesus a refuge, a hiding place at times, in the shadow of
His Wings I found rest and peace.



These dear elderly people have taught me a lot about life and about dying, a gift that only they could give.

I will always believe that love is stronger than death and never dies.
God’s love has touched my heart with grace to share a little of my life as I

RHYTHMS

Today we change our clocks one hour but winter darkness already shortens our days. I tried desperately to sleep in this morning because to be awake at 6 is early but 5 is a way too early.
All I did was end up with a headache.

I know that I will have to change gradually and hopefully gracefully.

Physically and emotionally we are affected by nature; by its beauty but also by its power over which we have no control. Storms come and we have to struggle to survive or a the very least be prepared. We have been so spoilt because we get up and light comes by turning a switch, water comes from our taps and news from our newspaper and radio.

The soul responds to the rhythm of the spiritual life; that deeper self. Reading the scripture has been for me a way to strengthen my faith. Prayer a way of quietly awakening to an awareness of a love that is sustaining me. Music expresses the longings that we all feel but cannot always express. The soul hears heavenly music and if we become quiet we will hear the songs of angels and dream of greater inspiration and our trust in God becomes the source of our wisdom and our survival.

The mind grows as it learns from the wisdom of others and so does the spirit.

THE STREET - AND HALLOWEEN AT MORGANS

MORGAN SHOWS GREAT GRAMA HER PUMPKINS

Last night the street was alive with little children dressed in crazy costumes running from house to house. Parents strolled along casually behind them. I was excited waiting for them to come. The first little boy was about three and he was so happy he was jumping up and down and laughing and having a great time. Our neighbor brought her little one not yet two over dressed as a little red beattle bug. I think it is nice when it is a neighborhood avent. The elderly couple across the street where the first to turn their lights off and a half hour later we did the same. Two hours is plently to be jumping up and down answering the door.

This morning it is dark and quiet and empty.

I have changed in my outlook of Halloween over time. I have had very negative feelings about all the ugly costumes and grim decorations.

Seeing my great grandchildren all excited about their costumes makes me see it differently.

We have awesome grandchildren who listen to our stories with attentive grace. I love the word grace that to me expresses life-giving potential.

As grandpa and I find our lives changing our stories are the most precious things we have to share. I am reminded that we are all uniquely flawed and uniquely Gifted bearers of the life of God's spirit. Thomas Moore says "the soul is a community of many interior persons." I believe that among them is a spiritual being waiting to be set free.