CLEANING UP LEAVES AND PICKING LAST OF FALL FLOWERS FALL RALLY
I have been asked to share my experiences as a lay-chaplain at the Peace Arch Hospital and how my life was touched by the people I visited on a weekly visit.
About 20 years ago my parents moved into a Nursing Home in Calgary. It was a difficult family decision but mom was getting worn out looking after dad who was in a wheel-chair. She would end up in hospital and I would go and look after dad and try to arrange more care for them both. Finally my brother and I decided on the advice of their doctor it was time for them to move to a Nursing Home.
I remember the first time we went to the Nursing Home to see them after they had just moved there. Everyone was leaving the dining room and there were mom and dad and they both really looked like they fit in. My heart sank and tears came to my eyes.
Mom was pushing dad in his wheelchair.
When I would go to Calgary to visit them I would spend all day at the home and I was very sad to see how few people had visitors.
I knew from my own personnel experience
the loneliness of sickness.
We were married in Regina and moved to Vancouver to a small basement apartment. We had no friends and Larry started right to work. I had found a job also but before I could start I was diagnosed with a bubal pregnancy and was told to stay in bed. Larry would be gone 10 hours a day so the days were very long for me We had no T.V. and I had morning sickness all day long
Larry was finding his job very hard so it was a difficult time for us both .Our car broke down so he had to take the bus to work. We were also short of money I would have to take the bus to see the doctor twice a week.
By a miracle Rick our baby moved into the uterus; this happened in the middle of the night when I had excruciating pain. We were very foolish to wait for the morning to call the doctor because I could have died.
I would have three more children but my health was failing because I had a condition that is called celiac which causes the body to re-act to wheat. Doctors did not know what was wrong with me. I was under a lot a stress looking after four young children. Larry worked shift work and took on a lot of other activities . I was left at home alone a lot. Looking after four small children and tired all the time.
He was worried about me but did not know how to cope with it
I finally was diagnosed when I felt that God told me to go to a certain specialist
I value prayer because I feel that my prayer and the prayer of my friends saved my life. I went through many difficult years feeling very sick and very alone. I have faced the pain of the past and have learned to forgive because I am forgiven of all my mistakes.
.
I value my friendships and my church community because they have brought healing and joy into my life.
I wanted to also reach out to those in hospital and nursing homes.
Fortunately I heard about a course at White Rock Hospital where they were training lay people to be lay-Chaplains.
It was a three month in depth course where you learn about hospital rules and expectations; how to be a listener, when to be a friendly visitor and when to ask if they want prayer. I meet a wonderful group of people and we shared our stories of why we wanted to do this.
I can remember the first time I visited on the third floor of extended care. I felt very nervous as I went from room to room. I had a list of about 12 people to visit. Some people welcomed me while others declined a visit. Every week I would visit the same people and gradually was able to spend even a few moments with all of them.
I had to learn to go in to visit with a story about something in my own life. It did not matter what it was about, a lost key, or a burnt supper, or my garden of growing weeds, my story would remind them of something in their lives.
They would often be sitting there with a vacant stare until something I said they could relate to and wanted to tell me about.
Most of them wanted to talk about the past and they rarely complained about their poor health. I was amazed how patiently the nurses would deal with some of their demands.
I had one lady who always asked me for cookies and sometimes I would forget until I got to the ward then I would rush back down and buy her something from the cafeteria. I do not like to bake but I would make a batch and freeze them so I had them to take.
They always reminded me that I should not take life for granted and that it is important to live each moment with thankfulness for the love that surrounds me.
Everyone of us has a story and they are all important and interesting. I visited a lady who was 100 years old and the first thing she said was I don’t know why I am here. Then I got her talking about her life and when I left I said to her that visiting her had been a great blessing to me because I had been with some very sick and miserable people.
One lady loved Western Stories so I had to look around to find some Old Zane Gray Stories. She was blind and loved to listen to the stories. Another lady likes cat stories and another wants me to read from the newspaper.
One dear lady who had a near death experience asked me as soon as I entered her room if I needed prayer for anyone. She had a prayer list and she asked everyone who came in. It so happened I was worried about one of my children, and I know we always have our children on our minds, so I gave her his name. Things improved.
One lady was very shy but she would always smile and hold my hand. I would ask her how she was and she always said “Just fine.”
I have been with people with dementia and this can be difficult. I have been shouted at and even slapped in the face; but I have also been able to calm them down. One lady was stark naked refusing to get dressed for the nurses but I was able to get her dressed.
I have just sat quietly with others who are dying and often been able to spell family off so they could go for a little walk or have a bit to eat.
Sometimes I do not feel like going and sometimes I do not feel like I do very much but I am always glad afterward that I went. No course could cover all the experiences that I had and every time I went it would be different.
Some share stories of abuse that they had never told anyone else. I would prayerfully listen knowing that the compassion of Jesus was with us.
One of my favorite scriptures is “that nothing can ever separate us from God’s amazing love.”
We are all wounded people who need to experience again and again the healing power of Jesus.
“God is creating us in this present moment, loving us into being.”
I look at Jesus and I see him reaching out with love for the small children and lifting them up on his lap, I see him healing the sick and the hurting ones, I see him weeping with those who have lost a loved one and I see him celebrating life joyfully at a wedding.
This summer I have been going to the Cancer Clinic with my husband Larry where he received radiation treatment. As I sat and waited I would visit with others and made some good friends. I was amazed at the positive attitude that most of them had. We were sharing the same problems and everyone felt that they were being understood. They had experienced fear but were able to still have hope for the future.
For me I found in Jesus a refuge, a hiding place at times, in the shadow of
His Wings I found rest and peace.
These dear elderly people have taught me a lot about life and about dying, a gift that only they could give.
I will always believe that love is stronger than death and never dies.
God’s love has touched my heart with grace to share a little of my life as I
About 20 years ago my parents moved into a Nursing Home in Calgary. It was a difficult family decision but mom was getting worn out looking after dad who was in a wheel-chair. She would end up in hospital and I would go and look after dad and try to arrange more care for them both. Finally my brother and I decided on the advice of their doctor it was time for them to move to a Nursing Home.
I remember the first time we went to the Nursing Home to see them after they had just moved there. Everyone was leaving the dining room and there were mom and dad and they both really looked like they fit in. My heart sank and tears came to my eyes.
Mom was pushing dad in his wheelchair.
When I would go to Calgary to visit them I would spend all day at the home and I was very sad to see how few people had visitors.
I knew from my own personnel experience
the loneliness of sickness.
We were married in Regina and moved to Vancouver to a small basement apartment. We had no friends and Larry started right to work. I had found a job also but before I could start I was diagnosed with a bubal pregnancy and was told to stay in bed. Larry would be gone 10 hours a day so the days were very long for me We had no T.V. and I had morning sickness all day long
Larry was finding his job very hard so it was a difficult time for us both .Our car broke down so he had to take the bus to work. We were also short of money I would have to take the bus to see the doctor twice a week.
By a miracle Rick our baby moved into the uterus; this happened in the middle of the night when I had excruciating pain. We were very foolish to wait for the morning to call the doctor because I could have died.
I would have three more children but my health was failing because I had a condition that is called celiac which causes the body to re-act to wheat. Doctors did not know what was wrong with me. I was under a lot a stress looking after four young children. Larry worked shift work and took on a lot of other activities . I was left at home alone a lot. Looking after four small children and tired all the time.
He was worried about me but did not know how to cope with it
I finally was diagnosed when I felt that God told me to go to a certain specialist
I value prayer because I feel that my prayer and the prayer of my friends saved my life. I went through many difficult years feeling very sick and very alone. I have faced the pain of the past and have learned to forgive because I am forgiven of all my mistakes.
.
I value my friendships and my church community because they have brought healing and joy into my life.
I wanted to also reach out to those in hospital and nursing homes.
Fortunately I heard about a course at White Rock Hospital where they were training lay people to be lay-Chaplains.
It was a three month in depth course where you learn about hospital rules and expectations; how to be a listener, when to be a friendly visitor and when to ask if they want prayer. I meet a wonderful group of people and we shared our stories of why we wanted to do this.
I can remember the first time I visited on the third floor of extended care. I felt very nervous as I went from room to room. I had a list of about 12 people to visit. Some people welcomed me while others declined a visit. Every week I would visit the same people and gradually was able to spend even a few moments with all of them.
I had to learn to go in to visit with a story about something in my own life. It did not matter what it was about, a lost key, or a burnt supper, or my garden of growing weeds, my story would remind them of something in their lives.
They would often be sitting there with a vacant stare until something I said they could relate to and wanted to tell me about.
Most of them wanted to talk about the past and they rarely complained about their poor health. I was amazed how patiently the nurses would deal with some of their demands.
I had one lady who always asked me for cookies and sometimes I would forget until I got to the ward then I would rush back down and buy her something from the cafeteria. I do not like to bake but I would make a batch and freeze them so I had them to take.
They always reminded me that I should not take life for granted and that it is important to live each moment with thankfulness for the love that surrounds me.
Everyone of us has a story and they are all important and interesting. I visited a lady who was 100 years old and the first thing she said was I don’t know why I am here. Then I got her talking about her life and when I left I said to her that visiting her had been a great blessing to me because I had been with some very sick and miserable people.
One lady loved Western Stories so I had to look around to find some Old Zane Gray Stories. She was blind and loved to listen to the stories. Another lady likes cat stories and another wants me to read from the newspaper.
One dear lady who had a near death experience asked me as soon as I entered her room if I needed prayer for anyone. She had a prayer list and she asked everyone who came in. It so happened I was worried about one of my children, and I know we always have our children on our minds, so I gave her his name. Things improved.
One lady was very shy but she would always smile and hold my hand. I would ask her how she was and she always said “Just fine.”
I have been with people with dementia and this can be difficult. I have been shouted at and even slapped in the face; but I have also been able to calm them down. One lady was stark naked refusing to get dressed for the nurses but I was able to get her dressed.
I have just sat quietly with others who are dying and often been able to spell family off so they could go for a little walk or have a bit to eat.
Sometimes I do not feel like going and sometimes I do not feel like I do very much but I am always glad afterward that I went. No course could cover all the experiences that I had and every time I went it would be different.
Some share stories of abuse that they had never told anyone else. I would prayerfully listen knowing that the compassion of Jesus was with us.
One of my favorite scriptures is “that nothing can ever separate us from God’s amazing love.”
We are all wounded people who need to experience again and again the healing power of Jesus.
“God is creating us in this present moment, loving us into being.”
I look at Jesus and I see him reaching out with love for the small children and lifting them up on his lap, I see him healing the sick and the hurting ones, I see him weeping with those who have lost a loved one and I see him celebrating life joyfully at a wedding.
This summer I have been going to the Cancer Clinic with my husband Larry where he received radiation treatment. As I sat and waited I would visit with others and made some good friends. I was amazed at the positive attitude that most of them had. We were sharing the same problems and everyone felt that they were being understood. They had experienced fear but were able to still have hope for the future.
For me I found in Jesus a refuge, a hiding place at times, in the shadow of
His Wings I found rest and peace.
These dear elderly people have taught me a lot about life and about dying, a gift that only they could give.
I will always believe that love is stronger than death and never dies.
God’s love has touched my heart with grace to share a little of my life as I
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