Dad and I went for a short walk after our early supper. It felt cold but we stopped to watch a soccer game at the park and enjoyed the beautiful flowers coming into full bloom. You notice so much more when you are walking and we were especially enthralled with the clouds high above us.
Spiritually I find that I am searching among clouds of uncertainty in what to believe and yet finding beauty in the words of scripture while resisting the structures of past religious thoughts that have clouded my view of a loving God and myself as a loving person.
Clouds of uncertainty can chill the spirit but help us to keep searching.
Deep inside I have our own private convictions that give me comfort and I am fortunate to be able to learn from many sources. The Catholic priest, who left his calling, searching to find his own beliefs. I was struck by his words as he attends church with his parents "whenever I reenter the perimeter of religion, I would do it as a gift of my presence to the people who I cared about."
Most of us do not want to be told what to believe or how to behave.
Fear can stir up anger and resentment when we feel we do not fit the mold.
"In deciding what to leave behind and what to take with you on your spiritual quest, you might consider going back and unraveling genuine sacred truths from the ball of string of religious rules and doctrines." Even learning to read the Bible again from a deeper level that goes beyond the literal. We live in two worlds one that is down to earth and yet our imaginations can carry us up into the clouds.
Mainstream religion recognizes our origin myth as just that, a parable [with deep meaning] about our human beginning. It is becoming aware of another presence that if we try to touch it I find it floats free like a cloud. There are times when I am aware of this presence and yet times when I feel alone.
I find that I still say things I regret but then most of us do that. I find I can walk around under my own little cloud of regret until I am able to see the humour in my humanness.
"We shall not cease from exploration,
and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started,
and to know the place for the first time."
-T.S.Eliot "Little Gidding"
3 comments:
The thing to keep in mind that other people are usualy so self absorbed that they are not too concerned with your guilt, so once you can forgive your self then it is pretty much over. USUALLY!
Sandra
Now I have to go back and read what I wrote. I think regret was what I meant not guilt.
Thanks for the comments.\love mom
What lovely pictures. The blossoms and flowers seem even more lush than usual this spring and the sight feeds the soul. Jane
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