WAITING

We stop outside a small store to gaze at the lovely little display almost wishing we needed something or had room for another treasure to be placed in a special spot.

Waiting for answers is hard because I know I like to have the answers come quickly.  We hurry through life from one task to another.  I take time to pray but then do not wait for answers.  I am thankful for all the different stages that been apart of my faith.  I have always felt drawn to be a part of a worshipping community although often it has been the inner promptings when I have been alone and quiet that there has come an authentication that is strong and real.

The words of scripture carry a personnel meaning to those they have been spoken to, and this is true of the words of Jesus.  Problems that affect all our lives never seem to change as we face times of family changes and an insecure world that keeps us wanting answers.

I shiver in the cold and dark of the morning thankful for my warm coffee and toast and waiting for the day's activities to begin.  A day for long underwear and layers of sweaters to keep me warm; especially as I start out for my walk.

Only a few brave souls waiting at the bus stop as I walk quickly past with no other walkers in sight.

I know that waiting has a potential that allows me to rethink and renew and find reassurance in the fact that I am still a child of God, no matter what happens in my future.  I do not believe that I deserve more attention from God than anyone else. 

Is God more attentive and caring than any early father?  Jesus addresses God as abba' daddy.  One only has to look upon innocent suffering to find that we are questioning.  We find Jesus more human and I for one do not believe in a God who punishes us by making others suffer or even ourselves.

Did Adam question why was he created insufficient to make obedient choices?  Does obedience promise freedom from pain and suffering?  I have rebelled in my own ways against what I knew was right and I faced the consequences; but I was not being punished as some have thought in the past.  Salvation was the promise of a better life because sin is generic not a curse under which I live.  There have been times when the words of Jesus calling for repentance have spoken to me loud and clear.  Forgiveness is indeed healing.

God is Love so does He suffer when we suffer?  Somehow I think we have to be human to suffer and that in the end it is suffering that kills us.  We know that Jesus suffered.  As a child did he suffer because he was illegitimate and deep down inside his soul did he yearn for a real father.  As a boy only about twelve Jesus, who has been missing for three days, is rude to his mother by saying "I must be about my father's busness".  In the garden of Gethesame, he pleads for abba to take away the suffering sacrifice that is being asked of him.  His agong will deepen even more when he feels the painful rejection of a loving father and cries out like any one of us "My God  My God why have you forsaken me?"  There is no doubt that Jesus was human and knew the depth of pain and anquish.

 

Is it true what poets like Aeschyus have hymned that humankind can only advance through suffering

 

"It is God's law he who learns must suffer.

And even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop, upon the heart,

and in our own despite, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.

-From the book "Letter To A Man In the Fire"  by Reynolds Price.

 

A friend once described to me why her marriage ended by saying she was dying inside. 

 Death of a marriage must be an extremely painful reality

Waiting for God to change our circumstances when we know the answer is "No" has to be accepted

like Jesus accepted with courage and determination.