A TANGELED WEB

I cannot believe how sunny it is this morning.  It should be a warm and wonderful day just to enjoy.

I cannot believe I put cool whip on my toast this morning instead of margerine when I usually use butter. 
It tasted pretty good.

Yesterday dad went for his prostate check-up and it looks okay.  Then we set out for the library but stopped to visit several people on the way and never made it.  We came home and sat on our front porch instead for a short while until it got cool.  A really late lunch spoiled our appitite for supper although later dad went searching for pie and then potatoe chips.  I had a wholesome snack of Rice, quinoa ( I still can not pronouce it) granola bars.

I also put pumpkin seed protein powder in my chocolate cake I made.  I should be bursting with health and energy!  But like a lot of things in our lives it takes time.  I talked to Ron on the phone and he is coming along well except it is hard for him to take it easy, even though he knows it takes rest for him to recover.

Today we may make it to the library but for sure we are going out to lunch with Jane and Geof and yes it is the White Spot!

I am finding my readings on religion can get me very tangled up.  There have been so many changes in the Christian religion over the past centuries it blows your mind; well maybe not yours but mine.   Just when science and religion seem to agree and this produces Deism ; a strictly rational faith, this progressed into a more evangelical faith that took the Bible literally and followed the philosophies in making the practice of morality central to religion.

I think that when morality was found to be impossible and if the old idea of a remote external god was alienating, why not get rid of him altogether.  Atheism wanted freedom to change and not be confined in a web of belief.  Why not just get rid of what could be termed as superstition changed into dogma.  This would rid a person from all guilt and discouragement.  Life would be a breeze.  Or would it?  I do not know because I have never had any desire to live without a presence that flows like living water into my thirsty soul.

It would appear that only those very very good people who where also very disciplined could live this noble and holy life.

So much of what we know we should be becoming I find I keep slipping.
I do not take criticism well without wanting to respond.
I am incapable of being thankful on days when I struggle with fatigue.
I can feel very unloving towards loving people never mind my enemies.
I try not to pollute or be a greedy consumer.

So that is why I need a few simple practices that I can integrate into my ordinary daily routine.  Writing my crazy jumbled thoughts down at the beginning of the day helps remind me that I do need help from a loving source just to cope with the mess I am quite capable of making in my life, without worrying about the mess the rest of the world is in.

I thought that living a Christian life would be simple but it is just the opposite.  I have to remind myself when I feel I do not pray enough, or have enough compassion or give enough that I am still loved by a God who knows my name and my weaknesses and loves me just the same.

 I will enjoy my morning walk in the sunshine with a thankful heart and a prayerful mind.