Feeling a little low in spirit
but Spenser and I go for our walk as usual.
We did not meet any friends two legged or four legged. I feel very worried about Rick and it is impossible to know what is happening.
When I come to the stop lights at 64 I look across and see a very kind face coming across from the other side. No I do not know her but she seems to know mw so I wait until she walks across to be on my side.I had a strange feeling I should not cross but wait to talk to her. She asks if I need any help. I say I am okay. She responds by saying she would really like to help me.
I tell her I am very worried about my son who is in hospital. I can feel her compassion as she listens. She asks if she can pray for Rick. I say I would really love that. She puts her hand on my shoulder and I feel her prayers are coming from the heart. I start to feel a bit lighter. I thank her and we smile and look into each other's eyes.
I walked home and after a short walk dad and I walked to the Safeway. We wanted to pick up his medication but there was a big line up. I was just going to get a few things but dad was so happy to be shopping he picked up a basket full. There was about 6 bags, pretty heavy ones two. We set off barely for home and I collapsed when we got there.
We should have done somethings differently. Dad's knee was very sore but he walked okay.
Now that we hear there is Covid-virus on his floor I feel very down again.
We have not heard from Rick for two days and that worries me.
I know he is in good hands with the nursing staff there and I am very thankful and hopeful he is getting good care.
6 comments:
I hate to ask mom, but did either you or this lady have masks on?
That is so wonderful that you and dad are able to get out and walk to the store and carry your groceries home. Sore knees are a sign up dad being up and active, and that is a good thing.
I have been learning to be aware of my worry and what that means. If I am putting all of my focus on something bad happening, usualy in the future, and it is making me feel bad, then I can choose to not do that.
All you worry, focusing on the negative, believing in the worst outcome, can not change the future, just destroy your present.
Yup, bad things will happen, but so will good things.
So, I am learning to choose to focus on the best outcome so that my right now is not destroyed by what often does not even happen.
Some times I succeed, sometimes I fail.
So, rather than worrying ( putting all of your focus on the worst outcome for Rick) that is making you feel horrible and worn down and tired, when you feel that creeping in look that thought right in the face, recognize that it is making you feel bad and choose to believe different.
Becuase all of your right now moments are real and preciouse and deserve to be recoginzed as how wonderful they are. I mean, dad up and walking to the store with you, how great is that! I can only dream of being able to do that with Randy when I am your age.
My rant for the day. : )
Sandra
Yes Sandra I know that only too well.
But the problem is mothers suffer when their children suffer,
Love mom
I spoke to the hospital yesterday, about 12 hours ago. Ricks phone had no power. The nurse I spoke to had just put the phone on charge. She said no change in Rick still dizzy. So maybe he will contact someone today.
Ken
Thanks Ken
He sent messages today.
Love mom
Good advice from Sandra...trying to shut out the negative things and turn on the positive. It isn't easy to do, but I imagine the more you do it the easier it will be to think about it.
Such hard times for your family...I know what it is like to worry about your Son Beth...I have had lots of worries about mine too, but there isn't much I can do about it and I have to had to let a lot of it go. I sure hope things improve for Ken...my goodness it sounds serious. it sure would be difficult to do therapy when one is so dizzy. I think as the days and weeks go by he will adapt and things will improve. It always is hard at the beginning.
I have a little trick that I do when I find that I am dwelling on the 'what ifs" and that is to visualize something that really makes you happy.
I tried it when I had some difficult work done at the dentist....I put myself in the one of the most beautiful places in the world..South Beach, which is part of Long Beach National Park...I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks and smell the sea ...that salty smell. It really works for me. One has to keep correcting the mind to focus on that rather that stray in thought, as we tend to do now that we are older.
Good to hear you and Larry were out walking together...every little bit makes you stronger!
I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. there seem to be so many sad things happening right now, plus we are dealing with this terrible virus too.
A young Mother I know has a 3 year old son who has stage 4 cancer...he has had to many struggles, even a bone marrow transplant, and has rallied, but the prognosis isn't good.
She is struggling with getting him to the hospital almost every day to have dressing changed and needles and exams...it has been a long 9 months for her and Toby her son.
she cannot have respite help due to the danger of Covoid...it would be disastrous for Toby.
Her name is Laura and his is Toby...such a sweet little boy.
Laura has to give him a needle daily at home. She has to mix the medications too. Alot for a young mom of 22. She is low...
Could you add them into your prayers..i know your list must be long...but they do need prayers.
The good news is Ken and I are doing wonderfully! We are so glad to have each other, through this terrible Covid epidemic. It is pretty serious on the reserves nearby..25% of the population on some. The town that is nearby and one that we patronize has a lot of people with Covid and some are not isolating...on the reserves. So we stay away from there.
You cannot be too careful. Stay home. Order your drugs on line and have them delivered.
Same as your groceries. that is what we do. Put a big sign on your door...DO NOT ENTER UNLESS YOU ARE PART OF OUR SMALL BUBBLE. PHONE US AND WE WILL COME OUTSIDE TO MEET YOU.
WE have our phone numbers there. We are strict!
OK I am off to finish making business cards for a fellow who is a tree cutter. He lives a spartan life and doesn't do banking...I will help him.
Love to you both,
Nancy
This is so true Sandy. Great advice and learning tools.
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