I experienced fear at a young age when my mom disappeared through the door in the floor to the basement and my dad yelled at me to stay away.
Today I am concerned that dad is taking on too much by going for the day to Victoria and then Salt Spring to visit an old friend. He will have to do a lot of walking. Yesterday he tired out quickly on his walk in the park and had hip pain as we walked to the eye clinic downtown. I expect he will come home very tired but happy he did it. I just hope he does not have a lot of pain walking.
At the base of most of my fears have been the unknown. This can be a mild concern about whether I turned off the oven, or the fear that comes a loved one coming home very late. I worry about those I love knowing they are vulnerable to accidents, natural disasters, sickness and disappointments.
My mind asks the question "what if".
I know that all of us can do what is right and still experience misfortune.
Sometimes when I wake up from a bad dream I realize the fear that comes from not being able to do something I want to do. Now we worry about the planet earth and how we are destroying it and will we have pure water and clear air in the future. Worry does not prevent or protect I need to take what action I can. I can try to conserve energy and recycle more.
Fear has driven religion and politics and can be infectious and the fear of terrorists has created more and more violence. Anxiety is one of the most basic health destroying fear. I am learning to face my fears and to know I am not alone in doing this. I have to be able to also express what I am feeling and not just judge or blame some one else.
I was able to conquer my fear of flying going with dad in his small airplane to the Dominican Republic and we had some fearful things happen on the way. I prayed all the way there. I can not say for certain that prayer kept us safe but it did give me strength and courage.
I pray not with the expectation that things will change but just to be aware of the presence that is stronger than the fear.
"When we pray we invite God into our lives, so that our actions will be guided by a sense of a higher power." -Martin Buber
"God's job is not to make sick people healthy, he has given us doctors and medicine to help us, but to make sick people brave." -Harold S. Kushner
Sometimes it is helpful to meditate on the words of Jesus in the gospel of John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
2 comments:
I don't think God has a job, whether make the sick brave, giving Israel to the jews, or anything else. God's role is just to be mysterious and indifferent. And doesn't he/she/it do that well!
My own thought is that it is good to look at fear in the rear-view mirror, after the fact. I think people that aren't fearful aren't really brave, they just lack imagination.
I think it is a good idea for Dad to go and visit. It's not going to be easier next year, or the year after.
Love,
Rick
PS The Jesus seminar people doubt that the historical Jesus said any of the words in John. As you know, John is a bit of an outlier, on his own. Interesting stuff, none-the-less.
mysterious yes
indifferent no
love mom
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