I am very fortunate although I live in the city there are places like this pond and there are many parks and places of quiet beauty that I find attractive. No, I have not found my secret pond again but then I have not been looking for awhile.
I have been getting some answers as I go to the dentist and go through various tests and now after all the exploring of what is working well there comes the final C.T.Scan on Friday. This will be the test to end all tests. I have met so many nice people, so many attractive people, and I think they must be glad to be doing the work that they are doing. They are cheerful and patiently explain what is going to happen and even when I do something wrong like breath in instead of out the attitude is okay we will just do that again.
I have been reading John Shelby Spong and been going through the past history of religion and the church. A lot of what I have been taught and what attracted me to faith has now been challenged. So I am taking a deep breath and hopefully will find a doorway that will continue to give my life meaning and purpose. I was attracted to the church because of the beauty of the building, the grand music, the love and acceptance that I was given. I will always remember the great joy of being able to sing in the children's choir after being shut out of the school choir year after year. I remember the excitement of putting on the choir robe to sing in the adult choir, a huge group of very talented people. I am glad my voice was drowned out because I sang very quietly but there I was in the midst of all these wonderful voices and my heart was beating with excitement.
I was the youngest one there and very inexperienced but no one was more thrilled than I was!
After reading all that is and has been wrong with religion I am happy to see that I can trust what I have felt was a loving presence within me. The past wisdom has been a starting point and I will always believe in the power of faith to transform our hearts and lives as we discover how lovable we are.
The young people at church who gave their testimonies found love that had become real and trustworthy and it melted the hardness and bitterness within that had prevented love from entering. They have just begun a journey but I hope they will never forget what they experienced so passionately and joyously.
2 comments:
I am tired today, Randy did not come home last night and I could not sleep, but your words paint as calming a picture as the photo you took. Did you see that lady after Midsummer Murders who taped her life? Remided me of you.
Sandra
Musical ability, one of life's little mysteries.
What book by Bishop Spong as you reading? I like him as he says, if I recall correctly, that the resurrection doesn't matter and the cross is a cruel symbol. I'm with him on that and think the words of Jesus and his opposition to the priests and the pharisees are enough. We don't need the supersitious overlay (pagan, really) of rising from the dead and all that nonsense. Just Jesus is enough.
Love,
Rick
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