FEARLESS

I felt sick when I heard that our daughter Sandra's house had been broken into and her valuables stolen while she and her hubby Randy were sleeping. Now that are doing everything they can to make their home a safe place and her attitude has been amazingly calm and she is thankful as we are all are that no animal or person was hurt. Everything that was taken can be replaced but it was sad they took the purse her daughter Mary had given her.

I would like to believe that we can live fearless in this world of ours and at the very least wrongdoing would be punished and good deeds rewarded. Fear has driven some into the loving arms of God but often there is a turning away.

The question has always been Why does God, a good God, allow evil?

My question is why do good people allow evil and our focus cannot be on blaming but on being willing to take action and stand up for the weak and vulnerable. Fear, does shake our view of human nature and yet we have been chosen to live life to the fullest facing new challenges day by day.

Yesterday I saw a miracle. I had an eco-gram and saw my heart beating away so powerfully and could even listen to the noise it was making. I am so thankful for all the parts of me that keep me alive, breathing and moving. I did not feel this test was necessary but it is good to have a caring husband who has been worried about me because I went through a period of being short of breath. I have two more tests; a C.T. scan the end of August on Theresa's birthday and a test to see how hard I can blow.

There are powerful truths that come to us in the times of uncertainty and trial. My life started with a simple childlike faith and went through times of testing and re-examination but the simple truth is that faith's strength is that it requires belief without proof.

"God is not a function of natural law, but of something greater and thus unqualifiable, unpredictable, and beyond reason-which is everything God should be."
Faith Interrupted by Eric Lax

I would love to say that I am fearless but I am not. I would like this world to be a truly safe place and especially for my children and grand children and yes great grandchildren, but it is not. I feel that I long for places that are safe and where the sacred can be experienced in a moment.

The most beautiful experiences happen when we are least expecting them and even when fear is mixed with faith, faith is what conquers and has the last word for me. I do not have to remind my heart to beat, or my lungs to breath and I do not have to remind God that I am here.

When I was first married and was so young and far away from my family and friends I wanted reassurance that I was loved and wanted to be told over and over again. Today I hear my children say I love you as the hang up the phone with a spouse or a child. We did not grow up hearing that we were loved and yet I had no doubt that I was when I look back on my childhood.

Love and faith are feelings that are not always expressed in words but are in the moments of silence and peace.