Library

On the way to the library on a sunny day, I came home with a bunch of "spiritual books" as well as several mysteries.  On Sunday I had hoped to do some serious reading instead of serious weeding but Cathy dropped by and we had a good visit.

Before I knew it it was time to drive over to Sandra and Randy's for a barbecue.  Things had changed there as Sandra was doing the barbecue (that is another story).

Dad is doing much better and is now wearing heavy weights on his feet.  He has decided I need help weeding out all the daisies in my garden that have reseeded themselves.  He started but I told him that I would like to be the adviser on the project.

Today we will be driving down to Stanley Park to watch Theresa play cricket.

Faith and belief are not the same.  Belief is something that we think to be true
while faith is putting our trust in what we believe and allowing it to change us.

REASON

I believe that most of us need a reason to get up in the morning,something that gives our life purpose and meaning.  A new day awakens in me a willingness to be challenged beyond my understanding. 

A reason to try and stay healthy by going for a walk and staying on my diet even when I feel crappy and it is raining out.

A reason to smile and see the positive.

A reason to love the lovable and the unlovable, especially when it is me.

A reason to believe in the impossible!

Watching movies there usually is a hero that can fight bravely and lead others into battle.  What reason do I have to become a better person by showing compassion and sharing what I have with others.  I do not need religious authority to force me to live an ethical and moral life because I believe like
the optimism of Confucian philosophy that people are essentially virtuous; except to the extend that they have suffered evil influences in their lives.

On the other hand there is a selfish gene that can take over my mind and I can reason my right to have want I think I need even when it robs some one else.

The reason that I believe the Bible contains words that breath new life into me is because when I have found that I am too stressed or too tired I am inspired by a simple word of scripture.  I am inspired to believe there is a reason for the way things happen and that as I learn what I am meant to learn I will find life has a deeper purpose that renews my courage and strength,

Many words have been written and there are many reasons for why we believe what we do.  If one looks at the life of Richard Hawkins one can see many reasons for his critical stance on religious belief.  He makes some valid points but he has not really searched out what Christian faith the benefits of faith only it's negative influence.  So it is a controversial but the value is in helping us see the negative in religion.

There is a reason that humans have wanted to believe in a God; one that manifests love, wisdom and creativity, that makes the life I live now important because there is a soul within me that is wanting to be loved and to be loving.

Is there a mysterious force that cheers me on and helps me to climb to the top of the mountain step by step?  Not to be admired or worshiped by others on the path but to achieve my own goals of being the best I can be.

There may be a reason to believe that we are psychosomatic unities and that the "soul is the form ( the information bearing pattern) of the body.  That pattern will be dissolved at my death with the decay of my body.

Yet it seems to me to be a perfectly coherent hope that the pattern that is Me will be remembered by God and recreated in some new environment of His choosing in His ultimate act of resurrection."

"Beyond Science"   by Polkinghorne

HELPFUL

Back to the kitchen and to looking for recipes that are simple and do able for celiac

I have found Quinoa salad to be wonderful.

Cook the quinoa just like rice and add tomatoes, cucumbers, green onions, celery and fresh Italian parsley if you have it. juice of lemon, sprinkle on extra virgin olive oil and salt and pepper to taste.

Or 3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice, sea salt, 2 gloves of garlic, virgin Olive oil, 1/4 tsp cinnamon and allspice and 1 teaspoon cumin.    Tomatoes, cucumber, pine nuts, mint leaves, mizithra cheese.  I have not tried this one.

A word of advice do not cook and go on the computer I have just burnt the Quinoa.

PRAYER

I woke up this morning with a headache and a heavy heart thinking of health problems of your dad, and also others in the family with health concerns.  Poor health at any age can drain us of the energy and joy of our daily living.

I sit quietly and pray that there will be some solutions that will give then better health.  Worries and stress crowd out our best intentions to think positively.  I find it helpful to take time to reflect on my life and see how I can make it better and keep things simple. 

Going visiting is very draining and being with elderly people remind me that I too am getting older.  As  sit with Jim watching people come and go he tells me how miserable he is and yet I know he takes an interest in the people coming and going.  He has only one daughter, who has very little in her life, but she is the one who comes to visit and take him out to the doctor.  He tells me of the girl who makes sure he has peanut butter for his toast in the morning. 

Life can be exhausting and often people disappoint us and let us down and I try to be kind and understanding but also honest.  Life can seem like a battle and it is no wonder the ancient people believed in the powerful force of evil. 

We live in a world of hyperconsumption of material things which can add anxiety and a feeling that I need more to make my life better and more worthwhile.  Everyday is like a blank page that I can fill with any pattern that I choose.  Keeping cheerful especially when doing the same old tasks is not always easy but I remind myself how good it is to be able to move around and do what I can.

SURPRISED

What a surprise to receive this beautiful book about me and my family.  Yes you are all there!
The years have gone by so quickly and I have so many happy memories.  Dad and I have spent the afternoon looking at the pictures and remembering different things as we shared our past and look forward to more happy moments, especially with family.

It is interesting seeing the remarks on face book by all the familiar names of people who lived on 8A way back when you children were young.  It must help when others remember things.  Certainly interesting to dad and I as we did not know much about what was happening.  I wonder if I had been diagnosed at that time and we did not have to move how things would have been different.

I made some new good friends  as did my children.

Skyped both with Shawna and Kimberly.  Shawna was as happy and as excited as I was.  I will take my book with me when I go visiting.

The doctor's appointment was disappointing to me.  Dad got some old pills and some new pills he is afraid to try.  Dad did not tell him some important things like loosing his balance and his short steps.
They do not seem to suggest practical things like the swimming pool and physio therapy which at least may help in that you are doing something.

Should be a good day for a bike ride or a walk in the Watershed.

Been trying to pull out some roots and pulled a muscle.  Stephen dug out one monster for me which was a help.  Dad is trimming vigorously;  need I say more?

APPRECIATION

Dad and I greatly appreciate the time Stephen and Shawna took to spend driving down to the Sylvia, yes our favorite place, and we where able to catch up with them and all they are doing.  I know that on the day you are leaving you start getting that anxious feeling about packing and getting to the airport on time.  Do hope their flight home was smooth. 

Stephen is very polite and considerate and so is Shawna and we are happy they seem so happy together.
Our time together went by so quickly I couldn't believe it.  This is the way when anyone visits and suddenly it is time to leave.  They really made us feel appreciated too!

Our next group book study is watching a D.V.D on Buddhism which I believe will deepen our understanding of our Christian faith.  This will add to the mix that Judaism has already built into my faith and belief in life.

I read that a rabbi's interruption of the scripture that says "Leave your father's house" really literally means leave what is familiar.  Abraham was certainly doing that.  Young people have to plan their own lives but we appreciate the values that reflect what we consider is important and now is apart of who they are.

Buddhism teaches that it is important not to cling to what we think life should be because this can cause suffering but to let go of our expectations that can cause us anxiety and unrest.  I so appreciate the fact that I can go for walks and enjoy the fresh air and friendship. 

I made an appointment for dad at the doctor's today, which may or may not be all that helpful but his energy levels are very low and maybe there is something that can help him.

EMOTIONAL

It turned out to be a cloudy day but better than too hot.

A happy but very emotional time as family gathered to celebrate my birthday.  There was also long talks skyping with Carol and Panteli, phone calls my brother Brian, our son Rick and grand daughter Mary, and good friend Jane.  Friends dropped off cards yesterday and an older friend Louise had her daughter phone to say Happy Birthday.

Reading the cards with their beautiful messages that often say exactly what we want to say but somehow cannot put our emotions into the spoken word so these are words from the heart written with love.  I will be reading them over again.


To-day we will spend time with Shawna and Stephen and it will be enjoyable just to be with them.  I have thought of several things to do but it will depend on what we feel up to and what they feel up to.
Yesterday I had my walk with Gunty and then dad and I went shopping.  He wanted to buy me some clothes, something sensible was my idea although he goes for the more expensive.

We have a good funny English D.V.D. that we watched last night so it was good to laugh together.

BIRTHDAYS

How old would you want to be if you could choose your age?

  Looking back over my life I can remember many good times but I do not really want to relive any of it.  I guess that means I am happy to be the age I am right now.  Every age has it's advantages and it's challenges,

I know that seeing your parents get older is not easy.  I can remember going through it with my parents.
It is hard getting weaker and old injuries and poor health in our past has an influence on our health now.  This is part of life and we slowly are adjusting to it.  The things is that you can feel tired and old at any age and also you can feel the joy of being young at heart at any age.

I have done a lot of praying in my life but all I can do is put those I love in the hands of the One who is Love.  It reminds me of others who are having difficult times and I feel in my heart a compassion for them that I know this compassion is shared by others and also by the powerful presence of goodness.

I am thankful for all the years that I have lived and I hope that I will continue to say yes to life even when it hurts.

The sun is shining which in my memory my birthday day is usually sunny.  I had more candles and birthday cheesecake at our book meeting last night.  Today will be a quiet day.  I am anxious for the mail to come as there is a presnt for me.  How exciting.  I will read my cards over and be thankful.

Prayers for my family

May you feel loved even when you feel unlovable
May you treat others with kindness and respect
May you know the joy of thankfulness and express it often
May you remember to say your sorry and mean it
May your lives be a life of courage, kindness and faithfulness.
May it be a life of Joy! ! !

FABULOUS PARTY

Gettin set up in the back yard

Hard work in the kitchen

Should we cook the beats

Shanwa relaxes for a minute!

Morgan plays with dogs while Randy barbecues

Loving couples

loving cards

sleepy great grand daughter

the swinger

Good food. lots of laughter and love!

Thank you everyone for a fabolous birthday party.

DAYLIGHT

The sun is gently shining as the new day begins.  I am looking forward to my party and seeing the family gather.  What have I learned in my many years of life.  One thing for sure is that life will continue to teach me if I am willing to learn.  I know for me it takes courage and strength and for me, and faith, to live one day at a time.

Yesterday I had our outside windows washed and today I see the dirt that is on the inside.  This for me is the purpose of religion, or spirituality, or yoga etc. is to help me see the darkness that is within me and all light to sine in.

It is good to be able to see clearly and yet it cannot be done without some work and effort on my part.
My long fast walk has now turned into what use to be a mini walk and it is much slower.  Yes, I would like to grow older gracefully but. . . . .

Tiredness makes me cranky.
For me it is helpful to begin the day prayerfully, to be open to the spirit of God, which cannot be captured by reason alone.  There are many who see no need of a faith in their lives and appear to be happy and healthy.  I take time to pray to be aware of the needs of others and to be open to what will happen this day.

Heaven or Hell do not exist according to John Lennon but I am sure that both exist in this life on earth.  I look at the desperate situation of many people on this planet and I wonder why I have been so blessed to live in a country where there is freedom and food and water and education.

I am reading about a little Jewish boy whose mother and dad have to abandon him during the time in Hungarian when the Jews were hunted and persecuted.  He has to learn a new name and a new religion to protect himself and the kind Christian singer who has taken him into her home and her heart.

His dad reminds him to never forget he is a Jew with a Jewish name of his ancestors.  Every morning he first says his Jewish prayer and reminds himself of his real name and who he really is.  He lives in fear not understanding what is happening and why it is bad to be Jewish.

The lady tells him to pretend and make believe every day is Purim, a sacred Jewish day where everyone pretends to wear a mask.  In his heart he knows who he is and what he believes.

I am thankful that in my heart I have felt loved by a divine and unexplainable presence!

A  pedrfect day to celebrate with loved ones

ARRIVAL

What a happy group!  I was so happy that they did not sleep in and miss the plane.  The ride was a bit bumpy but their spirits were high.  My angels of joy are now here.  I hope they are able to do lots of fun things while they are here.  It is good Sandra can keep up with them because we cannot.  Naps are what keep us happy and hopefully not grumpy.

Ken and Melina and family will be enjoying a big birthday party for Hobie in Brisbane and I am sure that will be a happy group as well.  I will look forward to seeing pictures!

Happy Birthday Hobie!

Dad worked very hard fixing the pond again yesterday.  Last night we unplugged the pump and may buy a Kong that is a contraption that holds food that will take all night for them to get.

I did visit the one old fellow at the Nursing Home and he was pleased to see me come with my chocolate cookies.  I had hoped the other lady would not see me but she did and asked if I was coming to visit her too.  I said I was sorry but I would not have time but would come next week.  She is delightful and easy to visit but gets lonely and has made a great effort to be happy there for her families sake.

Returned a phone call to Panteli not realizing the time was much, much later there.  Sorry.

We have no plans for today but are eagerly awaiting to-morrow when more of the family will gather at Sandra and Randy's.

One thing that families teach us is to love one another unconditionally!

ARRIVED

What a happy group!

POWERLESS

Trying to count my blessings!

The raccons have done it again.  The pump is broken and the pond is a mess and looks so sad. 

We have to come up with a better idea.  Any suggestions?

Think positive I can hear my friend say, well I was thinking positive and was already to write that it was a happy start to a very happy day.  We are excited to see Stephen and Shawna.

Worked in the yard again, since I have a daughter that works so hard we should keep trying.  We went to home depot and bought some dirt, my parents would not believe that people buy dirt.  And some bark much which  have lost faith in as I put tons in the yard and the weeds are growing even bigger and better!

Just had an idea we could fill the pond in with dirt and put rocks down the path and put a bird bath in the middle!

Right now we seem to be wasting money, buying special vitamins and healthy stuff to stop pain and dad is no better.  Yes, we are being positive especially when we see an old man walk by in front of our car who looks like he has had a

stroke.  There are lots of people worse but still living with pain is no way to live.  Dad is trying his electric slippers again and all we can do is keep trying!

Jesus said "Do not be afraid."  He was quoting all the angels that ever came to visit earth.  Fear and negative emotions are crippling but can be very real. 

Just looking at the world with famines and floods and extreme heat makes you realize life is not meant to be a piece of cake and I need always to count my blessings.

I am trying to hurry and making mistakes of course.  I want to go visiting before we meet our two blessings coming from Edmonton, so that means bake cookies after I go for a walk!

Proof of all my weeds.

CHANCE

First thing   do now when I get up is check if by any chance the raccoons have ruined yet another pump in our pond.  Believe it or not they broke it again yesterday but this time dad was able to fix it.  I try to imagine why they are taking it apart.  Could there be some bugs or something hidden behind it and they have to get to.  Or are they looking for the lost fish that we use to try and keep safe by having a safe place for them to go to.  I am sure I will never know but it has to be unplug right away or the battery burns out.  Sounds like me and dad yesterday we were both feeling a little burnt out.  Dad did go for a bike ride and we did go to the nursery to find something to put under the big spreading tree.

Trees can be beautiful, like this one from Sandra and Randy's place but trying to work under this miserable tree that pokes you in the back and strange bugs drop off it and get under your shirt.  Dad has never liked this tree but I have. 

I stayed home from my walk and watched the Murdock Trial.  The most interesting thing was when a man try to throw a foam pie in his face and his wife, young wife, rose up and hit it away.  There may be a chance that they are telling the truth that they did not know about the hackers who were getting illegal information.  They certainly have to stick to their story now and maybe they believe that telling the truth the whole truth would be the surest way of making this matter worse. 

The challenge of competition that proves that we are better than others.

I know that I live in two worlds and sometimes somewhere in between.  The world of everyday life and then the world of the spirit.  Yesterday I made a little corner to be my prayer corner where I light my candle and pray and read something inspirational.  It is easy to feel that it is too much an effort and probably does not help anyway. 

Quietness is an internal space that can be helped by seeing the beauty that surrounds us.

REGRETS

That is me looking kindly at the man in the check-up line at the store who I raced ahead to get their first.  We both had only a few items but I was tired out after working out in the yard etc.   I do regret it  I guess my penance will be to let everyone go first which I usually do.  Dad was gracious and offered for him to go first and he so kindly said it was okay.

So today is a new day.  I am happy the sun is shining and the fence right outside my kitchen widow that was looking so very sad' was put together temporarily by dad yesterday.  Yesterday morning at this time I had lost my favorite glasses and couldn't find my purse where I thought I may have left them.  Both where eventually found and I know where they are this morning.  I noticed I am losing my hair, it is just getting thinner and I can feel it when I comb it.  Will have to do a comb over soon!


Yesterday my birthday card arrived from my brother which made me think of our growing up years.
We were so different with me being the shy one and he being the extrovert and more rebellious.  I was the one that continued to go to church with my parents as we entered that miserable time of adolescence.  I like to try and do what I feel is right.  Impossible as this is as I often say or do what I regret later.  lol

I wonder as I hold the card how much choice we have in becoming the person we turn out to be.

I have certainly learned that I am good at a few things and hopeless at others.  I am reminded of a story that someone told me of going to a charismatic church and feeling totally uncomfortable.  Extremely anxious to get out she was touched by someone,  a silent prayer of blessing,
 before she left.  Outside she felt very shaken so took out her cigarettes but they disgusted her.  So she went from being a heavy smoker who had tried to quit for years to one who never smoked again.  Because she quit so did her husband.  Proving once again God works in mysterious ways.  She had never told this story to anyone else.

  "When we encounter the Holy Spirit words fail."
Brother Thomas   Benedictine Monk

EXCELLENT! !

Such a lot of work went into creating this special garden retreat.  All the little stones hand crafted and fit together.  It is going to be a beautiful little place to sit.

A lot of work and both dad and I where very concerned at the way Sandra was walking, looking so stiff and sore.  Not good, baby!  You have done a wonderful job and probably where happy doing it but I think you over did it.  Maybe you see a specialist or go to the swimming pool,  Dad is having a lot of pain and feels discouraged and I am trying some super vitamins but of course they take a long time to work.  I suggested the water exercise for him too.

I thought about taking my sweet potato casserole over to share but then forgot it and I think you do not like sweet potato but it is very good for you.

I am worried about the party being too much for you.  I like the stew that Randy makes and the great salads you make but food is not all that important to me.  I am sure Shawna and Steve will be a big help to you.  I would say paper plates but I doubt if you will agree.  Do try and take your pills I guess that is all that helps keep the inflammation down.  I think the cold and damp is not good for any of us.

I am looking forward to seeing Shawna and Steve they are so loving and sweet.

It is a rare gift to make the world a more beautiful place!

VALUES

Sunday morning and I will have to get moving if I value the time I spend on my walk.

Will attending church make me a better person this morning?

I believe it will if it makes me think and challenge the things I value in my life.

So thankful for some sunshine.  No need of rain clothes and umbrella

 this morning!

ALL WET

Went to close the window and could not believe how hard it was raining.  I decided I would not need to water today but would still go for a walk.

Yes the garden does look wet with big rain drops.

Walked to the pond at Boundary Park to see how the ducks were enjoying the day.

Yes it was still raining even harder,

I am beginning to believe that some of the things that the church teaches is all wet too.  Growing up I barely remember sermons about heaven or hell but I do remember all the stories about Jesus.  Saving souls seemed like a good thing to do if it meant living more like Jesus; but it was love not fear that should direct our way onto a healthy and gracious way of compassion.  What I do in this life is what is important.  I do happen to believe that there is life after death and have had several people who where dying see relatives dead and gone.  I have read of people seeing angels and I believe.  One day each one of us will find out the answers and which of us believers or non-believers were all wet!

My goal is to live a simple life, trying to help the lonely and sad, trying to be generous and understanding.  My desire is to find joy even on a very wet day and my goal is become even freer of material possessions.  I have been blessed to have a good home and a good husband to share it with.  We do not think alike about a lot of things and at times all I can do is roll my eyes and think to myself "boy is he all wet!".

WHITECAPS SCOCCER

Hopeful of getting her ball signed by the players.

Grandpa and Ben take the game very seriously

One of the more exciting moments

Morgan is taking pictures too

COMPLAINTS

Too much rain and cloudy weather [but yes Sandra I am watering!]
I feel like complaining about

the lack of sunshine

having to turn the heat on in July

misleading headlines

raccoons destroying our pump again

our house filling up with too much junk

all gluten-free food tasting the same

never can find the scotch tape
just found out I mailed it with Mathew's present.

noisy loud restaurants

the unfairness of life

the abuse of power in leadership; in govt. or in churches or in any relationship!

the churches need for conformity

people who do not comment! !


Feel free to add your complaints and comments