OLD BONES

Yes these bones of mine are feeling older but I am thankful that they are still hanging in there and carrying me around.I have had times of great spiritual joy when I could sing with my whole heart "Blessed assurance Jesus is mine."  I have felt like dancing and singing and around me the whole world seemed to sparkle and shine. This joy may seem puzzling to others but was real to me!
Ah yes the good old days.

 Now walking in the rain seems to give me a chill  but I know it is good exercise.  I am sure Ti Chi is good but right now dad and I seem to be in a rut.  He goes walking later in the morning and had a good, pain free walk yesterday.

I had planned to visit several friends durung the day but it did not work out.  I was content to read and stay warm.  Watching the horrific storm with the powerful energy and destructive force on the T.V. is very disturbing.  There will always be things in our lives that are out of our control.  In hard times people come together to help one another.

I also at this time am very concerned for my friend Jane, going through a very difficult time.

No matter what I do I can not stay in that place of joy and looking back I  can wonder did it really happen.  Doubt would like to creep into my bones and all I feel is aching and longing especially for more energy but life is good and to be content is to be happy.

  I know that unhappiness and sadness cannot be avoided.  There are things in my past I would have liked to do differently; times when my life felt like it was shattered and falling apart; but I think I did the best I could at the time.  Maybe menopause!

I think that I am like others who want to be loved as we ourselves would love.  The God who I believe loves me, has many different ways of showing me that I am lovable.  My imagination is not prepared to see them all; because I see what is familiar and if I project my expectations onto others as well as God I will be met with disappointment.

Spiritually  I have known joy and happiness.

I cannot change people they have to see the mess they are making of their own  lives and be willing to change even when circumstances stay the same.

Prayers are not answered and I wonder, for a brief moment,  if even God cares.  I have to make the effort and see that the choices are still mine.  Believing in the darkness I will see light.

This is not what I started out to write but it is what it is.    My story is no different from yours.

I think it is not raining this morning!  Stephen and Shawna have made it to Toronto on the way to Cuba.  Safe travels you two!