LAUGHTER

 Kim is ao much fun to have around.  We go for an evening walk in tghe Watershed Park.

           Learning to laugh at ourselves is good and helps me keep things in focus.. 

We are laughing at the sketches of Mother Brown.  Hilarious!  Thanks Nancy.

Sunday morning I walked through the park and stopped to take a few pictures.  I was weaving around trying to get the right shot and then noticed a man across the street staring at me.  I wanted to wave and tell him I am fine but he turned away.

I was trying not to get the garbage pail in the picture.

Dad did go to church with me but was sleeping when the offering was taken and had to be woken up to pass the plate.

We drove our car which has a security beeping system which is suppose to keep other cars and people away.  I could hear it beeping inside the church and thought O No.

Maybe I should spice up my blog a bit and when I go out for my walk I should sing and dance
"O What a Beautiful Morning" and everyone will think I have been taking stuff they recommend on T.V.    Now that would impress my 40 year old young man I meet on my walk!

Dad has started to pass gas in the most awkward places and very frequently.  Kids always think this is funny.  I guess this is one of the lowest common denominators for humor, and I finally learn to join in the laughter.

I have started waking up in the middle of the night with the hick-ups which is very annoying for both dad and myself.  But we have been given some cure all tea so it will probably help us both!

Maybe I am hoping no one will read this.  You only live once so why not have fun.

Kim made us a delicious supper and we ate outside with candles and wine glasses.  We asked Sandra over but she had had an exhausting day with washing skunk smelling dogs.

Dad and I finished our day with another walk with Kim in the Watershed Park.  Dad is doing so much better and seems like a new man.  Most important he is softer in his approach to life and more appreciative!

I was up in the night chasing the raccoon; feet flying down the stairs,  heart pounding, nightgown flapping, hands clapping  the chase is on;   away   from our garbage can because I could hear it rolling and banging on it.  It has no food in it but I did not want it making the mess of the few things in it.
Then I really should have had a diaper on.

I think whoever created all the strange creatures that we share this world with must have had a sense of humor.

Tuesday morning and I am fighting the urge to forget about praying and walking and go back to bed,
///but I will get dressed and that is my answer.

RELAXED

Sandra relaxes after a busy morning preparing a delicious lunch for us all.  We were able to eat out side and that made it even more enjoyable. She sure makes a big mess in her kitchen,probably a sign of a great cook. At first we wanted to be sitting right out in the sun but soon needed a little shade.  Her excuse for not being spotlessly clean in her appearance,  was that the hot water heater had quit.  She was fortunate to find some very good men able to come and re pare. it the next day.

We thought she looked fine.  It was too bad more of the family could not join us as there was so much good food.  There was a noodle dish, the name of which is unpronounceable, but very tasty.

We relaxed and had a fun time.  Dad spun us a few yarns, unbelievable of course..  Although he admits to being more forgetful and I know I am too.  True stories are the best and enrich our lives time and time again.  We treasure the happy moments of our past and find that in reliving we are reminded of what is important in life.  So much more to life than reason alone can explain.

Our sermon in church was about roots of faith that ground us in God's love and help us through difficult times.  If we are willing to listen and accept the abundance of God's love for each one of us even those who are wounded will find healing peace.

 Our uniqueness is what gives our lives value and meaning.

...thank you Sandra...

Today Kim is off shopping.  I need to rewrite the blog from yesterday.  The 75 year old was me meting and greeting a young 40 year old man and I try to walk a bit faster when I see him.  I have slowed down in my walking but I keep doing it everyday.

STRETCHING

                        I now find that I need to stretch my thinking about God and the Bible.

Words now have to take on new meanings.  I use to believe that God was holy and almighty and all  knowing and would protect bad things from happening to good people.  Now I am being told this is the story of elementary Christianity and that grappling with new concepts will be a stretch.

The best theological schools expose students to the work of contemporary academics and researchers.  The problem is in trying to put forth these new ideas in a way that people can accept without these new ideas leaving people feeling comfused and  betrayed.

For years what has made people like me feel comfortable and safe is believing that God intervenes, and that the old stories were true.  I still believe that in some mysterious way God is with us when we hurt.  He knows our prayers before we speak.

"For the purpose of this book "Amen" god with a little g can mean a concept, as in the idea of god or a supernatural being in the general sense of the word.  Not to be domesticated into a relationship with us." 

Without prayer there is no relationship.  I feel that I am freed from heavy doctrine and ecclesial structure but still want to dance with the wonder of creation and be open to mystery of prayer.

I realize that God has been made into many images.  I will still talk to God like he is listening.  I think that there are hidden resources within me that in some way are able to tune into God.  Image if no one ever told you that they loved you or that you are worthy of being loved ; or acted in a loving manner towards you. it would be hard to understand the word love.  In fact you would think there was no such thing as love; .I can sense that there is compassionate love  in the air and it feels good.  I like my protective bubble that has nurtured me and been a shelter of grace for me.

When I hear the words of Jesus and learn of the healing things he did and he tells me that God is working through him then I can picture something that is real.  Justice and social action make up a big part of my faith.  I am trying to be more open to changing church theology and yes it is a stretch.
I do do my own reading and like to use my imagination but encourage others to work out their own spiritual path.  It energizes me and helps me to be more alive, I think.

I put some pictures on last night.  Now it is Sunday morning and time for a walk and a prayer! 

MY LIKES

                                         Happy faces!

Kim and her friend Aime before they go out Saturday evening.

There are many interesting and happy people I meet on my walk.  Today an older gentleman walked me across the intersection telling me I had to be careful.  He then turn around and went back to his house.  Then there is another even older fellow who calls me "darling" and usually asks me how old I am.  Yes, there is even a younger man, I increase my pace when I see him, so even me at 75 I can be phony and want to look good!    He kids me about going on a ten mile hike.  O I wish.

I like birthday surprise packages.  I had to take a picture quickly before I start peeking into it.

Having lunch out with dad at the restraunt in Ladner.  It was a perfect sunny day and we decided to go and enjoy ourselves.  Dad had his usual fish and chips.  I had a very good salad but not as good as Theresa's.

Kim ready to go out dancing.

My new sun hat and a hug from Kim.

Looking forward to going to church and getting more hugs!

Then lunch at Sandra and Randy's!

REST

Restless night,

Sometimes what we think was finished when we put weary heads to our pillows at bedtime

comes alive in our dreams at night.  It is like their is a voice in my soul reminding me of unfinished

tasks.  Prayers that haunt my dreams and I so want answers that will make everything right.

Thankful that with the light of dawn peace also comes.  Thankful for matching socks.

First we look at the pictures of the birthday boy and his fabulous cake and lovely sister that Kenny sent.  They are growing up so quickly.  Life seems to be flying by for me.

I go out for my prayerful walk enjoying nature, while dad watches the Olympics

I am now also reading "The Forest Lover" by Susan Vreeland.  A novel about Emily Carr who from an early age was not like her sisters and definitely not satisfied with the pious and edified world she was expected to fit into.  Her creative talent and fiercely independent spirit live on in her lifestyle and in her art.

Thanks SANDRA for the supper invitation.  The gluten-free freak and her husband, eat everything Larry, will be there and also the vegetarian Kim!

A DAY

                                                     Early morning sunlight.

  I know that my life has not been full of  "near death experiences like dads" but it has had it's dramatic moments or funny moments.  Like the morning we took off for Chilliwack leaving the garage door wide open but the front door carefully locked.  We rememberd we had forgot and turned around to close it.

We also forgot the tiny little yellow rose that was my birthday prenent.at Theresaand Mikie's

 I did remember my new hat and lots of gluten free goodies.  Also have a nice new sun hat to wear which I did on my morning walk.   I have a book of Bible crossword puzzles that will help me brush up on what I do not remember.  I started Thrusday to work on it.



"Help us to still ourselves, Holy One,
.Our hearts, too, need rest, from worry and
from the lists of things we want to do and often go unfineshed.

May we find in the centre of our hearts,
where the stillness pours over us and love waits for us.
That we might be refreshed and made new.
As light into Light we pray.
Amen"

Taken from my book on prayer called "AMEN"

In this world of sin and sorrow we are all touched by brokenness.  I believe that this world is only a shadow of the next which will be without pain and sorrow.  No one knows but for some reason this gives me hope.  Everything with be restored and new.  I would say that Jesus becomes the light into this new reality.

I think the teachings of Jesus were meant to make people think and also to be different.  In the gospel of John we discover mystical and symbolic teaching.  Miracles are signs that have deep meaning.  Jesus did let his light shine and it shone so brightly that he did become for John the "light of the world"  Did he say it in words or in his actions? 

Our challenge is to discover what speaks to our hearts and to live out of that t ruth. 

So what did I do on Friday?  I exchanged birthday gifts and news with Jane.  Then I had a visit with my old neighbor Pearle whose foot has finally healed and that was good news,  Kim went to pick up her friend at the bus stop and then they headed into town to visit their friend Nicole.  We had an interesting visit before they left.  Dad is trying to get our answering machine to answer.

                              Love is both inward and outward.  Treat even your enemies fairly.

           

DIFFERENT

                                          It is hard sometimes to feel that you are different.

 It has taken me a long time to realize that I am different than others.  We all are who we are, no matter how much it complicates our lives and the lives of others.

My two best friends and myself all went to Sunday School yet I was the only one who continued to go to church.  I got married and became a mom right away.  They went to University and became a nurse and a teacher.  Our lives would have a different rhythm in many ways.  Although it would be easy to talk to them if we got together.

I have never had a desire to be fashionable and I think the hippie style would suite me just fine.  I have never been good at dancing or singing although I love to sing and have on occasion danced around the house to Vineyard upbeat music.  The dancing was like worship and a wonderful way to express my love for Jesus.  Music renews one's energy.

Over the years I have gotten less and less interested in entertaining and I never have had a desire for fancy dinnerware.  I guess that is why some of our good cutlery ended up digging up the yard.

You would think a good old prairie girl would tan properly but instead I have white spots all over my arms.  I will always love the prairies and I think that is why I am fascinated by the sky as we could see so much of it.  Like it was the whole world.  I like times of solitude and quiet.

I know what it is like to be sick and have to rest a lot.  I was very happy when I was told I had celiac because we finally knew what was wrong. The worry of not knowing had taken it's toll.   I did not realize that it would still cause me pain and discomfort years later.

I continue to visit the sick because I have an empathy and I am not afraid. 
Some journeys are difficult.

Dad did his walk in the Water Shed and I did half a walk.  Saved some energy to cut the grass and do some work in the yard.  Everything is so overgrown I feel discouraged again.  O well.

Thanks everyone for the birthday greetings.  Yes, I enjoyed my day.  Kind words and thoughts are always appreciated.  Thank you for cards too.

Thanks for the basket of goodnies Ken and Melina and family I really was not expecting that and you know you really spoil me.. 

SUNRISE TO SUNSET

Sun shining on our small back yard.  The beginning of a delightful day.

My two beautiful gran daughters who made me a lovely birthday supper out in the back yard.  The mosquitoes did join us but we ignored them.

Yes the gluten-free cake was delicious and made by Kim and decorated by Ben and Morgan.!

Mikie gets home in time for cake after a long hot drive home in a traffic jam.

We love Mikie and our thankful that he is a part of our family and that he is such a special husband and father.  Underneath the happiness we were sharing we also share his pain because his mom is so very sick.  Robbie you are loved by all of us and our orayers are with you and Chuck!

We drove Kim to the ferry where she is off to visit her brother Oliver.

The sun was setting and dad and I were both feeling achy and tired but spending time with our loving family and enjoying the great grandchildren was so much fun! 

\It meant a lot to me to come home and read my birthday wishes.  Thank you all. I  love you so much.  Looking forward \Nancy to getting together too.

MORE CANDLES

The sun usually shines on my birthday

Thank you dad, and Carol and Panteli and Sandra and Rick for my cards.

Yes the toaster oven is probably easier than the computer.  lol

I like cute little mice when they are on a card.

I am looking forward ro going to chapters thanks Carol and Panteli!

Dad and I are driving out to Chilliwack for my birthday with their family.  Kim will come home with us and she can probably come over on Sunday to Sandra's.  Kim and Theresa are going to Victoria on Thrusday.

I would have liked to go to Salt Spring it would have been really  great fun; but also exhausting. 
It is time as we get older to give way to the young but life  has been wonderful being surrounded with such love!

Dad has gone out shopping for something far more expensive than I would ever buy but he takes pleasure in doing that.  He came home with a lovely blouse and he went to so many stores trying to find the right thing.

I find in so many ways I am more contented now and feel so blessed with family and friends,

I do love reading your comments and hearing your opinions and experiences.

Reading my book "Amen" it says that the whole essence of religion is revealed in the sinplist act of prayer.  It is not the dogma, the institutions, rites or moral ideas but love calling to love!

Prayer for me has always been going into a empty room and closing the door on the world around me.  Right now the room has no windows which is unusual;  empty but spacious..  One by one I pray for those on my heart.
This is an act of creativity that is unexplainable.  I know the room looks empty but it is not.
I feel that in some way I am connected to God and aware that within me there is a sacred place, a shelter, a time for reconcilliation, a time to feel all my pain for others and let it go to be a part of a "cosmic specialness".  Love heals the soul and sometimes that is all we can do is offer love and prayers. 

Prayer has been as natural to me as breathing.  All I can do is suround each person I am praying for with God's love and know that His healing power is with them.  I close the door and say thank-you Jesus.

                    Wondeerful Memories of the Happy Times! ! !

Sorry

I pressed  published instead of save.  Below is for Tuesday.

THE UNKNOWN

Dad and I had a walk in the Water Shed forest although we were both a little tired. Walking under the huge trees and breathing in the fresh air was invigorating.  We even a few dogs so happy to be out walking.  Dad  is doing so much better at walking but had some hip pain.  I stumbled along and fell over a log; but made a perfect landing and hardly hurt myself at all.  Maybe I should have been a stunt person in the movies!. 

It is Monday morning and rainy and cool.

Sandra dropped by unexpected, which was nice to cheer me up,  and make a few helpful suggestions!  She came with some toys she has obtain through work so there will be something here if the Aussie Bennett's decide to come.  I am praying for Jassy to get better from her tonsilitis; it can be so painful. Thanks Sandra!

I went over to get my haircut but dad says it looks weird.  O well it will grow out unless I should just shave it all off.

Early in the morning dad drove to pick me up on my walk but I was not near the bus stop and had gone with my friend Gundy who is slower so I took longer.  I do know what I can do and I just go for a short walk if I am not up to the full one.  I appreciate his concern and when I got home went out to look for him.  Crazy eh!

I am starting to read a book called "Amen" by Gretta Vosper who is one of the new religious writers.
I will disagree with some of her ideas but I am sure I will learn a lot.  Prayer is an important subject for me.  Spiritual concepts are crucial to my ability to especially work through difficult situations.
Prqyer is an ancient practice and for me it is sacred.

My favorite scripture is "For in Him we live and move and have our being.".  This is Paul talking to the people of Athens who had marked a statue to a unknown god.  "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of Heaven and Earth and does not live in temples built by hands.

Jesus who has told us he is the door and he is the light and he is the life that came into a world of darkness and  promises a lasting relationship to those who are willing to believe in Him.  What a powerful thought.

SCREAMING

The world is full of such awesome color and beauty but even beauty can almost be painful.
This little cactus grows in the corner amidst the rocks and bigger plants.  It is very small yet the color draws your eyes to it.  Life has resiliency!

I think we all want to scream out at the injustices and cruelty and evil that we hear about every day.  Why does a quiet and brilliant young man turn into a killer of people in a movie theatre?
Why does someone who has faced war and violence end up being killed in a small movie theatre in their home town?

Something within him must have been screaming and the pain became unbearable.  Maybe?

Reading the Psalms we find words that are screaming and violent demanding justice and God's intervention .  Looking back at history we realize there have always been mountains of abuse that threaten to crush the spirit.  I know I feel helpless but not hopeless.

Life is fragile and so precious and all any of us have is this minute, this hour, this day.  I cannot image living without prayer.

We see the humanness of Jesus as he cries from the cross:  "Why hast Thou forsaken me?"

The old testament prophets screamed against God and against their own people.  Scripture has a language all it's own that warns us of the dangers,  especially of living on the backs of the suffering of others. 

We all face the unknown. 

I pray that I will be able to find a purpose for my life as I intermingle (heard that word at church today and think it is a good word)with others who may be sad or happy.   

I pray that I can leave a message of hope and a message of the wonder of life's mysteries that wait to be discovered.

A rainy Monday but what a difference a good night's sleep makes!

CONTROL

                                                  My Butterfly Tree Sandra planted for us!

Had a mad dash to find my camera and then dad and I just sat there and watched it.

We like to think we are in control of our destiny but in reality we are frail and vulnerable given to sudden tragedy.  So it would appear that you cannot live for very long on this earth, without realizing a fundamental truth: we are not in totally charge or control of our fate.

We had a enjoyable supper out with Panteli and a leisurely drive to the airport.  I woke up in the night with an awful stomach ache and feeling very sick.  The good news is that dad did a good job getting me back to bed. 

There are times when we feel very blessed beyond our highest dreams, and at other times burdens and worries will be placed upon us.  I know that I am very fortunate in my life now to have the freedom to enjoy reading, watching  T.V. or going out for supper when ever we feel like it.  I can get up when I like and go to bed when I get tired. 

Looking back on my life there have been times when things did not turn out exactly as I hoped.  There have been unexpected changes that I have had to cope with.  If I am able to see that in these physical changes there is opportunity for character growth, for deeper courage and strength, and spiritual steadfastness

Am I in control?  No.
"The illusion of control is the besetting addiction, and delusion, of the Modern age."
---Anna Quindlen  from Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

I have made the wrong turn many times and gotten lost because I have a very poor sense of direction.
As a mother I may still confuse my children as they do the same to me at times.

Sometimes we need a little help.
 We can ask for help and this is part of our getting through the rough times.

Sometimes I realize that I have to just let things take their course and that all the good prayers and good works can not stop the whirlwind.

A quiet day today I want to go to church and maybe dad and I can do a walk later in the park.

THRUSDAY

Wed. night was busy with everyone having a bath and off to bed in good time for an early start in the morning.

Ben and I were the first up and I thought I published a blog but maybe not or I may have pushed the deleat button.  Kim and I went for a walk to the park before breakfast and then home for cereal and eggs.

Thn the children packed up their tings and were ready and waiting for mom to come and take them all to Salt Spring.  Oliver will be there so they will have a great time.

Here she comes.

They make a quick get a-way/  Saturday is on below.

TALENTS

As a very young girl I used to think I would like to be a nun until I met your charming handsome dad!

We all have so many different talents.  I do not have an analytical mind and am hopeless at fixing things.  But I was a good stenographer doing typing, taking shorthand and filing.  I enjoyed working in what they called the steno pool with all the other girls.  I did get promoted to be a receptionist that I enjoyed even more.

Our family has a gift for art, for painting and doing clay, for music and photographic art, for gardening and planing wonderful celebrations, and political insight, love of animals and nature, for swimming and counseling, good at writing and also sports but most important they are genuine and caring.  They all get along well together.

I was reading about an artist who had begun being very scientifically accurate but over time he learned to see his art in a different way, as more spiritual.  A monarch butterfly and a single begonia leaf float over a formless charcoal sky through which drifts a full moon.  Thus the scientific vision emerges from the mystical one, with order and precision set against a background of chaos and mystery.

"`Mystical seeing discovers both presence and absence equally".
--  from Learning to Fall.

Jesus spoke about talents in Mathew 25.  Not using our gifts of talent whether it is time or treasure can lead us into spiritual chaos.  Superstition about a divinity who punishes fills me with fear not faith.

To be empowered spiritually is to take risks.  There will always be within us the pull of earthly emotions and through prayer I am trying to find the strength to think and act positively.  Faith is action.  It takes a lot of practice to live with truth  so that it becomes part of me and enables me to be more forgiving and compassionate.

"Mystical service means modeling calm in chaos, kindness amid anger, forgiveness at all times, personal integrity that offers us a chance to channel grace or withhold it." 
---Entering the Castle by Carolyn Myss

The good news is that we have a life time to learn and to grow spiritually as well as physically.
The call on each of our lives is to be the peacemaker and the forgiver and the nurturer  who does not judge.  Each day can challenge us to live out these values.

To approach God is a paradox because we then realize how hard it is to find what we want to believe is real.  The wonder is that we each have a human heart that has the power to know good and evil.  To become more loving draws us closer to the wilderness of mystery that is a higher power.

I like to believe that Jesus would say "and all around my memories, you will dance"!

"Dance when you're broken open,
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off,
Dance in the middle of the fighting,
Dance when you're perfectly free."
---Rumi, a Sufi Master.

It is almost impossible to believe in the supernatural if your philosophy believes it is only illusions,
Yet there is within us all music that calls us to dance spontaneously.  Dance by using the talents you have been given.

Friday was a rainy day.

  Panteli enjoyed supper with us and is doing some last minute chores.

Saturday he is flying back to the Grand Caymans.

STRANGE

Summer time seems to be the perfect excuse to sit around and do nothing.

 . Morgan is busy doing her hand stands one after another.  Every time she falls she just gets up and does another one.

"A truly good man does nothing,

Yet leaves nothing undone.

A foolish man is always doing,
yet much remains to be done."   - Hindu  wisdom

One of the hardest things for me to do as a woman is to have people, mainly my grandchildren, come and make meals for me and dad, while I sit around and relax.   On the one hand I love it and appreciate it;  yet there is something within me that tells me I should be busy doing things too.

I know I need to rest up today after all the fun activity over the last two days yet the art of doing nothing seems to be a lost art.  There is a compulsion in our country to keep busy.  Not only to keep busy but to produce something.  Lying on a blanket drinking Cool-Aid and reading comics seem the perfect thing to do as a child.

In the winter months there can be a need to volunteer to be on a committee or make something for the bazaar.  To be honest I do not feel that need anymore, but there have been times when I did. I am freeing myself from the approval of others.  I do not need this distraction of keeping busy, to avoid self-doubt or to avoid loneliness.

I sit down to write only after I have finished changing the beds and sweeping the floor and putting things away   while my brain is having thoughts about the importance of stillness.  I think that when I go visiting I remind myself that I bring the gift of a loving caring presence.

But I was also thinking I am glad I am not the only strange person in the world.

               Kim has a blueberry in her eye and Ben and Morgan are putting them in their noses.

Kim did a wonderful job making supper and I enjoyed our walks together.
And strange as it may seem I enjoy writing my blog day after day.

PRAYER

An old window pane is put to use with a window box to hold flowers.
 It spoke to me and made me smile.  Yes, I think morning is the best time of the day and especially a good time to pray.

Wed. was a busy day with Kim arriving with Ben and Morgan.  The children went for a walk in the forest with dad.  He is doing so much better doing his exercises.  Sandra managed to remember to stop by and not just drive home.  Kim true to her word made supper for us all.

Morgan went to the store with Kim and myself and was very excited to spend her $5 and actually get money back which she then put in the candy machine.  The children are so quick it is hard for me to keep up with them.

Sandra had an exciting day at work with seals being flown over from Salt Spring by her company because they had been abandoned.  Sandra bossed me around as usual saying I should be doing yoga along with dad.  I know she is right but. . . . .

Anyway I have not done this very well too many things going on. 

I believe in this world of chaos and hopelessness prayer is needed more than ever.  Sometimes the road ahead seems dark and I need a little light.

Prayer has helped me in the past and even when it was years before the answer came, I found that prayer helped me live day to day; until it was discovered I had celiac. 

I do not pray alone but the spirit of Jesus prays with me and prompts me and I know many others are praying with me.  So if you happen to read this know I am praying for you.

 Like the old window frame that was painted and reused beauty lives on within us and around us.

I love the freshness of the early morning especial after it has rained at night. Although when I hear dad gently snoring in bed I sometimes I wish I was sleeping too!

 I am so thankful for each breath I take and the promise of this day.


Ben is up first this morning, Thursday, at 6.  Then Morgan and Kim wake up in about 20 minutes.  We all go for a nice morning walk.  They are having cereal and eggs for breakfast.  Theresa picks them up to go to the Ferry at 9. 

Why aren't you coming they ask.  Hard to explain to little ones how you feel when you are our age.  Walking is hard for grandpa and I get tired quickly especially when there are big groups and many things going on.

I will do my visiting today at the Seniors Home.








 

WHY?

                                Life is so fragile and full of questions, that have no answers?

Why do children get sick? 
Why do bad things happen to good people.?
Why does it almost feel like there is an ache within us for answers.

Why do I wake up so early this Tuesday  morning feeling anxious?  A deep inner pain..  Praying for several family members in critical conditions.
I know I have been praying and thinking of Kenny and the family and missing them.  Then I read that they have all been sick.

It seems that asking why is one of the most important questions in life and I have found over the last few years I seem to be unlearning so many lessons that I at one time felt confident about.

I did not grow up with the knowledge that one could question authority.  Not my parents, not my teachers, especially not God.  My children were very different and seem to question everything and rebel at all authority.  Civil rights, the liberation of women, the sexual revolution were all issues that faced us all.  Prejudice and prudery (is that a word) were so old-fashioned.

Was my own teen years idyllic?  In some ways they were because life was simpler. 

Each generation has it's own questions and finds it's own answers and ways of coping.

Keeping busy is one way. Reading and writing are helpful for me and always prayer.
I will be praying more today just to feel reassured that God, or that benevolent force, that is around us all will strengthen those who are in pain.

 Both dad and I had our walks yesterday.
It was warm  but cooled down in the evening which is good.

Wed. night will be a full house with Kim and Ben and Morgan.  Kim is planning supper so that is good.  Panteli and Sandra will drop by and Theresa will come in the morning and they will be off to Salt Spring.  We would like to go but just do not feel up to it.  Actually both dad and I have stiff necks.

Now it is Wed. morning and I had a very bad sleep.  Feeling very sad.  Walking is a good way to regain energy and pray!

GIRL FRIENDS

    Sorry to hear that Kenny and all the family are sick.  Do hope Jasmine will not have to get her tonsils out.  I prayed that knowing God loves our children more than we doand that  Jasmine will be healed.
Be with Melina in this stressful time.

Sorry you will not be coming for the wedding but we totally understand.

I think that I realize, now more than ever, how important it is for a girl, to not only be able to talk to God, but to have girl friends to talk to.

As I was watering the front garden four young girls rode by on their bikes and I started thinking about friendships.  They were laughing and taking and enjoying life.

When I look back over the years, which are now adding up, I realize how good friends have been there for me;  to share the good news and the not so  good news.  When someone lets you into their life and you become friends it is a very special gift.  Their friendship helps to keep me strong and resilient.

Honesty and trust are so important.  As I become more peaceful with myself I feel that I am becoming a better friend.  I can listen but not need to give advice.

I know when we moved to our new home, golly it is nearly 7 years ago, I felt bad about leaving my many friends.  I knew I would keep in touch with my best friend but I would miss friends that had walked with me up and down the hills.

I was amazed at how quickly I met a young Korean lady who needed a friend so we started walking together.  She was very depressed and needed some one older to talk to. Since then I have met others to walk with who have become friends.

One of the difficult times when my children were all small was the fact that everyone was too busy and distracted to be a friend.  Our very existence was frantic with all we had to do and cope with. 

So over the years some friends have fallen away, probably because of the lack of effort on both our parts.  It also makes a difference when your husband retires and life changes for both of us and we become closer friends.

Now I have been amazed at the new friends I am making with my blog.
 I am so grateful for good friends.

I am thankful for my daughters who are also my friends!

THE PICK UP

As a teen-ager I had the occasional car stop at the bus stop to ask if I would like a ride.

Sunday morning I just walked in front of this young man at the bus stop and put some trash in the can behind.  Just then dad pulls up and says to get in the car.  I do.  We speed off and I am sure the young man is thinking I am some old lady that should not be out walking.

The truth is that dad knew I was feeling a little out of sorts and also it was starting to rain so he had come looking for me.  I was only a few blocks from home and truthfully was glad of the ride.  So dad was the first one to be successful picking me up.

When we got home I decided I was not feeling churchy so we stayed home.  We were watching the bike racing on T.V. so ignored phone calls.  I was laying down having a nap and later in the afternoon did the rest of my route.

Later I heard there was a great party in Chilliwack on Saturday night and I wondered where?  Kim is there staying with Theresa.  I wonder if they heard about it?

Dad got our thermostat working so that was good; and later we drove down to Chapters where I gave in to temptation and bought several books. 

I was mixed up in my dates and now have things straight by checking the calender.  Here I was thinking my birthday was this Wed.

                                                         Saturday night sky.

THE LOG

                                       One place to find lots of logs is in our forest
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 Dad and I are not going down into the woods today because of his pain in his piriformis.  Dad feels that if he does the exercises and rests from walking for a few days it will help.  It is called the piriformis syndrome.  Now he can go to the doctor and tell him what is wrong with him.

Dad has finished reading  "`Three Day Road".   Sometimes a person who hates killing has to kill someone who is a fanatic killer.

Since it is Sunday I am quoting Jesus who said: "Do not judge or you will be judged.  Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye?  You hypocrite first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck in your brother's eye.

I am too often guilty of seeing the faults of others and thinking they are irresponsible, rude or dull or annoying, forgetting I am far from perfect.  I sure can have my bad days!  But then we all do.

I believe that Jesus is teaching us that often it is those who see themselves as good (a per functionary goodness) are the ones that need to search their own souls and their own faults before criticizing others.

Thomas Merton says: "It is only in assuming full responsibility for our world, for our lives and for others that we can be said to live really for God."

Reading the Bible is a difficult task and their are many versions to choose from.  It includes history, stories and myths that may have wisdom often hidden within the words.  I love the Bible and regard it as an important book to be studied.  I have not read it all and do not feel it necessary to do so.  It was written centuries ago to explain to people their world and their God.  Rules were needed to control and fear was used to manipulate.  I feel strongly that it is not to be taken literally but as a historical metaphorical.  The hero's are imperfect and very human so we can relate to the problems they get themselves into.

The people in these ancient stories believed in the supernatural as natural.

Anyway the Good Book says a day of rest is good and I know it will be good for us.  Dad and I are staying home from church where I know the presence of grace also abides.  We have had several phone calls from people who expected us to be at church, a little strange.

SMALL

                    

 One feels so small besides these huge trees, almost invisible  Love the blue of the sky.

"If you have a transcendentalist inclination , then moments when there is a heightened appreciation of our  natural world, you feel closer to the invisible one".  -Philipa Simmons

I also feel small when I take time to pray and feel invisible because I am taking time to think of others.  There is so much suffering all around us.  In prayer the God of the sky becomes the God within me.  Marcus Borg talks about being in "relationship" with a sacred reality.

Yesterday as we sat on our front porch a tow-truck came to create a lot of noise as he towed our neighbor's daughter poor old truck away.  We moved to the back yard where it is usually quiet but our neighbor turned on a noisy weed eater thing.  Just when we were hoping for a quiet visit we were surrounded by snarling machines.  Into our reality there comes disruption but also enjoyment.  Pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, health and illness.  the good thing is that  if you are in pain and it stops then you feel so amazed and thankful.

Even under our feet there is beauty and activity as we see little ants and bugs busy at work.

I have a slow and steady walk all around and the ice pack on my back when I get home feels good.

I remember when I was young and the long walk I would have to go to get to the swimming pool.  Down and big hill, across the bridge and along the train tracks.  I would often stay there all day.

Summer is wonderful and I love all the different smells, the grass and the flowers and the fresh picked berries.  They remind me of my childhood.

I made a mistake as I published this and I already published one for sat.

EMPTINESS

Sometimes the forest seems very empty when we walk along the paths.
 Dad knows most of the paths now.  We did not walk on Thursday or Friday.
Although I did my morning walk on my own.  Just after I got home Tavia phoned to say she was near by and would like to bring some apple crisp (which dad loves) over for dad.  She stayed for a long visit and we learned about her unique job working for an off-shoot of B.C.Hydro to make for a cleaner environment.  She has just discovered texting and loves it. 

"Who sits (or walks) in solitude escapes from three wars; hearing, seeing and speaking;
Yet against one thing shall they continually battle; that is his own heart."
---Abbot Antony of the desert fathers.

I admit that I can fill my mind with worries so I am thankful that in prayer I can find some release.
For others it can be gardening, or yoga, or running or even shopping.  Doing simple tasks around the house and helping each other by doing the dishes or going to the store or getting a cup of coffee are all things that can help fill our emptiness.

Letting go of our plans and our ambitions, our reputation our precious opinions just to rest and find peace in the moment.  It is like making room in a home or a garden for a special place that is sacred and special.

"Namaste"  is a greeting in Hindu that said with a slight bow and folded hands in front of the heart;  acknowledges the sacred within the other.  "I bow to the life spirit within you."  Even if we do not say the word we can greet others silently in our hearts with grace !
 
I have been to churches that are extremely emotional as well as extremely sterile.  I have learned from both.  I would say that to be mystical is to find the quiet center where ever you are. It is allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others; and compassionate towards the depth of their pain.

It is in the quiet of the morning or during the stillness of night when I allow yourself to day dream.  I invite the presence of Jesus and surrender my will but not my intelligence.  What I long to experience is a true reality and not a false blindness.  The mystery is in the stillness.  The answer comes with the desire.

It is like walking into a book store not knowing what treasure you will find but you enter with expectation and longing.

 Sometimes I take a picture and the camera captures so much more than I could see.

Now, back to the ordinary worries of life I was so pleased to have a few moments with Robbie and to give her the insurance papers that were taken out of the car that Kim is driving.  Just a short drive to Cloverdale but both dad and I were so happy to come home.

All in all most days are ordinary and I am thankful if I don't burn the toast or can decide what to have for supper and try to have a bit of a walk.  Enjoyed a beautiful sky last night and this Saturday morning!