I have turned into this confused old hag
that is trying to improve every day.
I am fighting depression.
This may sound like I am doubting the
healing power of God
but I am not.
Doubt of course can be a sign that your faith has a pulse, but it is a bit weak but still searching for answers,
The things that make life hard to face are the accidents or the poor health that did not need to happen. When we feel powerless faith seems to be drained out of us.
Mother's day was rainy and quiet. Nice to have calls from Ken(Melina has a sore throat) and Rick(has a sinus infection and abscesses tooth and they can be so painful) and Carol and Pantelli are busy moving box by box to a new apartment which is little bigger, Randy and Sandy who are working so very hard to fix up the house. Enjoyed the cards from Rick and Sandra, yes I still like a card.
I did not have the strength to drive to church and dad did not feel like going.
We all have our doubts but we also have our faith. I am picturing the day I am glad to walk with biggest steps and go for a longer walk. Something tells me that my life, my words, my hopes and dreams matter, even when I do not feel it one bit.
Many years ago a Doctor, a specialist wrote on my chart that I did not have celiac (testing was not so good years back, and that followed me for many years and caused me me become very sick, close to dying, but the mistake was corrected and here I am, Considering many years of poor health I am am\amazing! So a Little set back here and there is nothing.
7 comments:
That's right - little set-backs don't get us down. Not if we don't let them!
Faith and doubt: if you didn't have doubt there would be need for faith.
Leah said yesterday that Helen Marjerison passed away a few days ago, which is very sad.
Love,
Rick
Yes, I hear you Beth..getting older and facing all the challenges that go with it are pretty darned scary. Health problems,memory problems, mobility problems,depression, having to make decisions as where to live, maybe having to downsize and move...all things we too are having to deal with. It sure can be depressing. What I keep telling Carl is to embrace change...don't fight it..life will be a lot easier. He is very fixed in his thoughts..where as I am more acceptable. So we will see where life takes us!I am thankful that I have my health and do most of the things he cannot do anymore. So what I am saying is...accept changes and "go with the flow" ( I tell this to my watercolour students as well!)Things will get better a lot more quickly. You have been pretty darned sick and it will take time, but I am sure you will back to your favourite walks soon. You must miss them so much. Maybe a scooter would be an idea...rent one, until you can do the walking. It will get you outdoors, where you love it so much. Sending you both love and healing thoughts. Nancy
Ditto to Nancy -Lou's comments. l hope to come round for a short visit today if that will be convenient . Loving and healing thoughts go out to you both, Jane
Grandma Beth, can we get your email address so Cameron can add you to his Skype. We would like to call sometime this week if your home :D
No answer on your phone, I hope that means you got in to see the doctor today, or feel good enough to be out for a walk? I will try again later.
We got our house photographed today. So nice to rest for a bit from all the cleaning. Took the dogs down to the beach and had lupper down there.
Sandra
Hope the weather improves so you can go for a walk.
Ken
Hey Gramma, Mary and I are thinking of you everyday, we love you and Grampa so much. Keep hanging in there, and please take any help offered to you- now is the time for healing and help.
Love Michael aand Mary
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