HAPPY HAUNTING

They will cone to the door in all their strange get-ups.  Some scary and some pretty!   Too many to count.  Lots of happy memories with our children and grand children.



 
I am choosing to be thankful today and express my appreciation for life.

There is a time for sadness and heaviness but I continue to believe that the secret to restoration is to believe that God, the power of love, is working all around us.  Keep seeking and waiting until the doubt begins to fade away.


All  I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.  -Ralph Waldo Emerson
The soul is not perceptible  and yet its light shines at the deepest core of our being.  It is the spirit of life and it is pure. It is part of all our human experiences, the well of our emotions and the container of our personalities.  The body without the soul is empty.

AIM

My aim in life is to help others when I can and thus feel my life has meaning.

 

 All decked out like a Christmas tree I set out for my early morning walk.  I now have a hat with two lights on  it and my big florescent vest.  Dad's aim is to keep me safe and visible.  I go early because I wake up so very early and usually am back in time to have coffee with dad.  I meet happy joggers and dog walkers.  It was lighter this morning when I set out because I do not want him to worry him. I stopped to pick up autumn leaves on my route,  and although there is a definite chill in the air the freshness revives me.  I am happy to get home and have some warm apple sauce and coffee with dad who is just pouring cereal into his bowl.

 

I am convinced that we are created for holiness (wholeness) which some times calls for us to empty ourselves of selfish motives and realize that true love always calls for sacrifice.

I am back reading Jacob's Ladder about the Jewish path called Mussar.  It runs directly through everyday life.  All about how we treat  our children, our families and our friends and about ourselves.   It is all about relationships, restoration,   reviving and  renewing and re awaking the soul within,  All this is included in my idea of religion.  At the very core of our being we are all holy, no matter how we are feeling, and the way will be shown to us how change is possible and the light will shine within us.

I had woken with a sense of foreboding so I pray first thing and also on my walk.  Prayers for family and those on our prayer list at church.

Thank You for a Love that never lets us go but holds us in abundant grace!

Dad and I were just getting ready to go out when a friend called facing yet another painful crisis.  Immediately we drive over to visit and see the signs of grief on her face.  I know how hopeless and overwhelmed I can be when faced with tragedy.  Life can wound us deeply and feelings of fear and anxiety are normal.

I have found comfort in the love of God and His promises to be with me through the dark times.

 Our prayers are with this family for renewed strength and divine wisdom.

Thank You, Lord, that my new blog that dad had made into a book arrived today.  It is always a miracle to see it in print!


Have a Happy Halloween Jasmine and Matthew.  We love you!  I am glad you liked your cards.

A busy day visiting and giving out candy tonight.  Yes, I have sampled some!

THE CENTURIAN

A Roman soldier in charge of a unit of one hundred men; who comes to Jesus to ask for his son to be healed.  This is the second sign in the Fourth Gospel.  Jesus calls him a man of great faith and a personality that will be used to address the tribal gulf both physically and emotionally between Jew and Gentile.  Jesus again is breaking barriers.  Jesus is the healer not the enemy. 

Desperation for the life of this his son he is willing to put himself and his family under the authority of Jesus.  Our fears grow out of not being able to trust those we feel who are different  and because they are different they must be abnormal.  One in ancient times had to worship their deity or deities so that hey would have their protection,
Children can be the key to revealing the oneness of all humanity.
I need to feel loved and to know there is a healing presence I can call upon and reach out especially for my children!  I especially like to pray for all my family as I walk and think of them starting a new day, even though our times are different.
“My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and be glad.”  Psalm 34
Yes affliction comes into all our lives and our hearts get bruised and our bodies feel pain.  Adversity can make us stronger is we draw deeper into the heart of God’s love.

Mothers love to keep their children warm and happy and safe.

 I go later in the day and am used to the fact that I have slowed down off the Prednisone.  Nice to receive some phone calls from the church knowing I am not forgotten.  I am learning that nothing is more important than to learn how to maintain a purpose in the midst of adversity.  This will restore our spirits!  Hope to get out a bit today.  Dad had a walk in the forest, did the shopping and pulled out a overgrown mess too tough for me.

Another lesson is to ask for help.  Also to take time to listen which can be meditating on a specific word.  "Holding focus on a singe word brings about concentration, which then gives rise to space, clarity and awareness.  Within such sharply present mental stillness, we catch glimpses of the dimension of our self that stands behind thoughts, deeds, and identity.  In Mussar, that dimension is named the soul."-Climbing Jacob's Ladder.
I do appreciate phone calls.  And laughter with a friend~

thank you Lord of Creation for the last blooms of summer!

thank you for the glow of the porch light.

REDEFINING

Yes, it is now getting dark when I go for my morning walk.  Yes, I think I am up-grading from a stroll to a walk.
Walking under the lamplight makes me happy.
I feel the affects of the stopping the Prednisone;  which had given me more energy, so I am disappointed, but the cough is almost gone and I must continue to take things slowly.  I could get another refill but prefer not to.
I am thankful for all the lights.  There is a silent beauty and stillness all around me!
God with in me manifests the God without and around and present in all things.

                       This is a picture I tried to take of the moon and I rather like it.

Today I will not be reading so much but getting out in the yard it is warm and sunny again.  I think I dropped my clippers in the compost barrel so that is my first job.  I will do some racking and taking away the dead branches.  I will try not to overdue it, but it is like anything you get started you just keep going and going.

I find it helpful sometimes to be discussing a book with others too.  The writer or writers of the Gospel of John according to Spong  "seek to tell the story of Jesus' life as one who transcends limits, breaks barriers , and invites us into a new place.  A journey into life, (away from fear in contradiction to Dawkins who quotes in the Van. Sun religious societies can be more coherent largely because they are full of terrified people) beyond scripture, beyond creed, beyond doctrine, and beyond religion itself.  I have found church to be a place that takes away my fears and gives me hope!

How many of the characters are simply symbols.

One of the first group of characters we meet are Andrew and his brother Simon Peter who are immediately attracted to Jesus and then are willing to be his followers.  They proceed to tell Nathaniel.  Jesus tells him he has seen him under the fig tree.  A synonym for the place where rabbis studied the Torah.  He is among the first to be called a disciple, even though before he met Jesus he was doubtful that any good could come from Nazareth.  It would almost seem that he was portrayed as predestined for Christianity even while he was deeply engaged in the study of the Torah, the Jewish law.  Nathanial immediately breaks forth in an extravagant confession of faith.

Nicodemus comes by himself at night to question Jesus and is portrayed as enjoying the darkness of his own religious night.  He is portrayed as one bound by the limits of his own mind.  Jesus explains he must be born again not of the flesh but of the spirit.  Then Jesus identifies the spirit as the mystery of the wind "that blows where it will and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or where it goes."

Spong has written in the past that to be human is to embrace mortality,  It is to know that that while your mind can roam beyond the limits of your body, your body is still bound in time and space.


"To be self-conscious is to view all of life from within the center of the self, to look out to the world from the perspective of one who is separate and distinct."  

To feel loneliness, to know anxiety and to feel like you are engaged in a chronic struggle for survival.  The mystical reality is a sense of being with one with a supreme being, and a universal consciousness, a radical awareness of connectedness.

Jesus himself has been transformed and challenges Nicodemus to undergo a transformed experience and thereby escape his self-imposed boundaries. 

 

 "The source of love that comes not to judge human inadequacy, but to open eyes to see a new oneness" 

 There are times that our emotions seem to tell us we are not as good as we should be nor can we live up to the expectations of others.  That, I believe, is not as God sees us; but he sees us as beautiful and even magnificent human beings created to bring light into the world in unique ways. 

 

I know that I feel frustrated and left out when I am not well but Jesus has the power to transform my negative emotions and my unhealthy body.

Maybe Jesus looked a little like this who knows?

Sometimes I feel like I need to just kneel before all that He is and be absorbed by his goodness.  Redefined worthy!

"Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart. . . "

Heal me and I will be healed!  -The Good Book

OVERLOAD

Yes I have got myself in a bit of a pickle with three heavy books on the go.  Climbing Jacobs Ladder is for our Sunday group and not everyone was able to find the book so I want to do some extra notes.It is about one man’s spiritual journey to rediscover a Jewish Spiritual tradition.  It is by Alan  Morinis who was on C.b.C. Tapestry years ago.
The main path of Mussar  runs directly through everyday life, and that is where we are to look for our spiritual lessons-in how we treat our children, our neighbors and ourselves.  A exceptional resource, illuminating how true spiritual transformation can take place in our lives one day at a time.

"Each of us is a soul!  "  Saying we have a soul is a linguistic misconception.  It is important to recognize our essence is the soul and at it's core it is pure.  Habits, tendencies, in balance and negative experiences often obscure some of the inner light.


We are invited to sharpen our awareness and notch up the beauty and purity of our actions.  He seeks out Rabbi Perr; an imposing figure with a black hat, a very long thick, wiry graying beard covering his  shirt and a black frock coat which fell to the back if his knees.   This will remind you of the Biblical story of the Patriarch Jacob who fell asleep on a rock and had a dream about a ladder reaching to heaven.
He found it very different from our stand-up/sit-down/ reciting responsive religious practices. 
He also found it had practices which were like Buddhist meditation.

Mussaar is not a discipline to be practiced in isolation, nor on a proverbial mountain top but to give one strength and insight that will render us impervious to the powerful temptations of materialistic society.
I have missed the four chapters of our study in revelations (not a book I have ever cared about) but the vision are to give us hope.  John shows us how the world looks to one in the spirit.  Just getting  together to study is fun.  There are some good questions :like what would Jesus say about your church?  What is lacking in your experience of worship?

In the tales of a Jewish Mystic it is about calling us to a new deeper understanding of what divinity means.  Mystical eyes can never be literal eyes."  A book of signs.  One of the first ones mentioned is the transformation of the six stone jars that are meant to be used for Jewish rites of purification. The mother of Jesus informs him that the wine has run out and then tells the servants to do whatever Jesus instructs them,
The water is turned into wine.  This is not a miracle story but a sign.  Jesus is the bridegroom calling Israel into a new status.  The wine of the spirit is to replace the waters of purification.  His mother represents a mythological figure who stands for Israel the faith tradition that gives birth to Christianity.  They will be freed from the temple worship, and the sacrifices of animals, and be brought into a new kingdom where the words of tradition take on new meanings for a new time.

I also like what Bishop Spong says about the Word the Logos which in Hebrew was the word dabar and gives the meaning that this word had the power to shape the world, to reveal the presence of God, to call people to a heightened sense of self hood, a heightened sense of consciousness!

 

I like what he writes about  Moses who wants to see the presence of God and God tells him to hide behind a rock and He will past by.  All Moses sees is a fleeting glimpse of His back.

I can relate to not seeing what God is doing in my life until I look back.  I would not want to wrestle with either Him or an angel like Jacob did.

The only way to see Jesus, who is transparent, is to keep looking especially when the way is hard and long.  To look with the eyes of the soul and seeing beyond our unworthiness to His Light which always goes with us.  The light transforms slowly.

Catching up.  Today is going to be a good day for dad and I!  First I will go for an early walk with a scarf to cover my face and my mitts.

COBWEBS AND GROUNDED

Reading from the book Climbing Jacob's ladder I read that
when the soul becomes alive with new insights into any teaching there is a awareness that something within me had grown dusty and full of cobwebs.  It is good to feel alive!

Stuck inside of such an absolutely glorious day I think of many in similar situations that has become their lives.   I am so thankful to sit on my front porch in the warmth of the sunshine and see the odd bee flying by.
Also I watch the neighbor put up Halloween decorations delighting in this accomplishment.

Even taking the garbage out is pure joy.  I take out the coffee filters out to the garbage one by one!  I suggest a walk and dad says: “What is wrong with you woman, can’t you just rest and get better."  He has sore shoulders but goes for a short bike ride.  I come in and watch the squirrels still running back and forth on our fence. Funny creatures!
  Walk out the front door and in the back. rake a few leaves while I am out and dad is out.

Would have been great fun to help Jane with her garage sale,  Fun but a lot of work.  Hope all wemt well.

Wonder if Carl has had his surgery yet?


So I read on about becoming more aware of the guiding light within us that it is like “diving into the flowing waters of life itself” learning from the tough as well as the good times.




Why am I here?
The first story the rabbi tells is of Abraham taking his son up the mountain asking God well if  I am not to sacrifice my son after all, then what am I here for?


To be a bundle of joy for great grandmother!

The Rabbi's wife tells about how her family was sent to Siberia where her dad was put to work cutting trees in the cold with only poor shoes to wear stuffed with paper.  (Dad did that when we were first married and poor and the car broke down)

Her dad always would come home saying her dad reported he had cut down the biggest tree in the whole forest.  It may not have been a fact but that story stuck with her all her life!  A very format story for her.

Because they had been sent away from Poland. they did not go to the Nazi camps.  Life can be a mixed blessing!

SANCTUARY

Sanctuary is the place within your soul where you feel quiet contentment and peace.  Alone but connected to others.  For me it is a place of thankfulness and grace.  I have a desire to make my morning prayers and thoughts into a sanctuary wher I can believe like a little child again.  I laugh to think of myself a child in this old woman's body with its wrinkles and slowness of pace.

  I believe that thankfulness is the "architecture " that carves moments of grace even while I rest."  forgot who said this

I believe that the Kingdom of God is within us all!
"What a gift to know that I do not struggle alone but that the God-man with skin on struggled too, and now the promise is that the flame of this love will never go out but burn within me and embracing all that is good and bad within us all"    -Ann Voskam

I was thankful for windows that open  wide to invite lots of fresh air into my space, even when I couldn't go walking about.  I think we have had the best fall ever, so warm and the leaves so beautiful.  My expectations are that I will be 100% better tomorrow and even better the next day.
I take my last Prednisone today and am thankful to be off it although it did really help.

Mary did wonderful visiting all the family and even took Simone to work.  Sandra and Randy are so hospitable just amazed me with all they did for us all!

“All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us,”
-J.R. R. Tolkien


What greater joy than going for a walk in Sandra's new neighborhood. One of my first walks
Am I repeating myself
Earth and sky captured with all its beauty.  Seeing and listening is the secret of the spiritual life!

Although life has slowed down  for me for awhile I  still feel so fortunate especially when we enjoy our surroundings and all the gifts that nature blesses us with. 

“One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong with us is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations.”-- unknown

I am thankful for the time I have now to spend with God and I am not rushing to do or to go anywhere.  Although I do want to take time to visit Gundy and our neighbor Mary who just had a birthday.  Older people do enjoy a visit when they cannot get out like they use to.  I will have a restful weekend planning to go to church, I certainly have missed it.

I am thankful for a good doctor and have tried to follow instructions which I am not always the best doing.  And I good husband who lets me be me and makes me eggs after my morning walk.

It has been a busy summer and fall preparing and enjoying family visits and at the end I feel a little exhausted with happiness!  That is good! !  God is faithful!

High hopes for church were dashed as I was unable to talk brought on by my friendly cough still hanging on.  Next week for sure!  But I will go for a short walk in the sun shine in the afternoon!

FAREWELL FUN

It had been a cool and very dull day so although dad and I planned a walk in the water-shed park we decided it would not be the best for my friendly cough.

We were very much looking forward to our supper out with family and our last visit with Mary and Simone.  Yes I am happy but saying good-bye always makes me a little sad.

A final chance at photo shoots, time is so precious!

The light upon the water is so breath-taking.

I am so thankful to be alive and to know we are all loved and it is the greatest beauty of all.

We finally made it to the beach, to the Boat House                           She loves her great grandpa!

She is a happy little one.

 and also grandpa Randy who makes funny noises and shares his I phone with her so Mary gets a chance to eat.  Babies sure need a lot of attention!

  Mary looks so young and beautiful and such a wonderful mom.  Her visit has brought us great joy!
Safe journey home Mary and Simone you will be in my thoughts and prayers so high above the clouds.


Sandra tells us we are celebrating Randy's award winning of the fastest loading of his ship.  Not the greatest picture but you can tell she is proud of him and he is being reserved!

Still having some lingering back issues.

I got dramatic as we were eating and starting coughing and I think the staff was nearly ready to do throttle me or something.  I had my codeine to stop the coughing so all was well.

Being near the water is so calming and also mystical as you feel the great distance ahead of you. 
So we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary but .is unseen is eternal.   -2 Corinthians 4"18

Yes I am happy especially know that in our distant future there will be a lot more comings and goings.  There are times when our lives are quiet and dad and I fortunately are able to enjoy each other's company.
I even love hearing his version of the stories he tells.

So even though my faith is firm no one can live on the mountain top all the time!  We need the contemplative times to help us cultivate our inner resources.

We are so proud and happy with our extraordinary family even though you are all a little bit different and being a spicy variety as you come and go. Things are changing as you all get so very busy with your own lives and also live further away.

My greatest happiness comes in being thankful in all things.
I love writing my little blog and knowing that others enjoy it too brings me a lot of joy.  Some times I pick a title to be a little dramatic.  Writers license!
I am so thankful people come to visit even though it is sad to see them go.

ANGUISH

The beauty of the leaves now lie still and dormant and the tree stands bare but with a ugly beauty.
Ugliness, sickness, fear and loss come into all our lives.  Some sadness never really goes away.

After I hung up the phone after Kim phoned about the rock hit her sun roof I left very sick to my stomach.  I have always been fearful when I know people are driving.  I had a dear charismatic uncle who was a drunk who died in a car crash and I remember so clearly the day my mom got the news.  I saw my mom crushed by the pain.

 

My other fear became the fear of drunkenness.  I want to scream at my grandchildren sometimes when they talk about all-night drinking and the discomfort and wasted day that comes after.  But I am also aware of the strength and courage of the human spirit that lives on in them.

I know that there is a healing presence that gives us strength .
Like the book of Job says we accept the good things that come along with faith and gratitude but when painful things happen it is difficult to see the sun while shine again. 
Above the clouds the light is always shining.

 
All new life has started as it emerges from the warmth and darkness of the womb.  It is the words of Jesus and his cry of anguish from the cross reminds me that goodness endures the pain of evil
“Darkness transfigures into light ,bad transfigures into good, empty transfigures into good but it takes time, months and maybe years.
God wastes nothing-and makes everything work out according to his plan”  Ephesians 1:11

“And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes that suffering by the grace of God.”
I believe in the death and the Resurrection of Jesus because it means the hand that holds mine is nail-scared and His own eyes fill with tears over the anguish that comes unwanted into our lives.
The Word becomes a real physical reality that knows all about pain and suffering.  New life with return in the spirit time and for now I am truly thankful for each one in my family.  They leave home and move away and you try to let them go but the heart holds on to them with the love that binds us all together.
   We are all held in the arms of grace that never lets any of us go no matter where we are!

I will have to rest today because I felt worse after yesterday and I want to have fun being with the family tonight.

GHOSTLY PRAYERS

He used to be called the Holy Ghost back in my day.  A ghost scary and

yet friendly and lovable!

                 S
Whispering secrets that are meant just for me Real prayers burst forth with all the body and with all the soul and all the heart. heart. 
Thankfulness

Gratitude takes us from where we are into  a world of love and delight.

Red mushrooms springing up to praise those  with eyes to take time to walk in the park and see them.

The highest form of prayer is to the goodness of God

Clinging to that goodness  is life changing.
Too many to count. 

Feel bad I did not pray yesterday morning for my family as I try to do daily.   So  a gentle reminder to get back on track and be faithful in praying.  Wow she could have been killed and I am so thankful she is okay!

How am I, well I am taking all my pills and drinking lots of water and having lots of accidents when I sneeze or cough.
And wondering did I really take that pill, it is hard to remember. 


Yes the book called the tales of a Jewish Mystic  does bring you to a point of what is believable.  This is so true for those of us who have read the Bible with a set of literal assumptions being taught to us.  I like what Bishop Spong says seeing the gospel of John
both as an invitation and a doorway through which we can walk into a new dimension of what it means to be human.  Jesus says :You search the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life,`  -                   John 5:39

The Scriptures point to the truth but cannot capture it  Ultimate truth, however, cannot be captured in finite human words.  The scripture is about Jesus as one who transcends limits, breaks barriers, and he draws images from Jewish mysticism.

Myself I have found scripture to be comforting and healing as I have put my faith into the words that speak into my heart.  I feel the person who wrote them know that life can make us feel like failures, and fell that life is unfair and bad things do happen to good people.  Faith restores hope and once again I am thankful

I am thankful for the Bible!

I love the taste and smell of Mandarin oranges

A TRAVELLING MAN

It was such a beautiful warm day and we thoroughly enjoyed our visit with Mary and Simone.  Both brings us such joy!  I wanted to go for a walk in the forest too but since I was up in the night coughing sand then started again when Mary left to visit her mom at work I was ready for a long nap.

These are a few of his pictures and it looks so inviting I am anxious to travel with him while the weather stays so warm.  I am expecting to be like a new person once I have taken some of my cortisone pills, and it certainly is time.  Life seems to be full of stress and worry at times so I try to be calm and thankful.  Things always have a way of working out in time.  I preach this to the person who needs it most which is me  .Slowing down helps me to be more aware that I am not alone.

How long does your soul take to realize your life is full and that you have all you need for each day.

"The slower the living, the greater the sense of fullness and satisfaction."  I am growing older and yet in some way I am gaining in ways I never had time to appreciate.

Enjoyed a visit with Melina and Jasmine on the phone so good to here there voices and get caught up on their activities.  Melina's mom is still having test and may have to have a kidney stone removed.  Yes, we miss them.  Jasmine says when they come next it will be at Christmas time. 

Today I am so thankful for each step  can take and my stride is improving, I will soon be up to doing a jig!  Ha Ha. ULO!
Dad is planning a bike ride on this another sunny day and I will take Jim his milk shake.  I keep wondering if it may be his last, you never know.   I visited him and two other ladies, I like to visit the new ones as it is a difficult move for them and takes awhile to get adjusted, pretty worn out by the time I got home.

Just sooooo thankful that Kim was alright when a rock from a truck hit her sun room.  Very scary but she is okay and now will be trying to get it fixed.

Good to be home now and dad and I are watching hockey and he is making me coffee.  What a good husband!

SOUL LIFE

My neighbor’s back yard just over the fence.

"Gratitude bestows reverence on 0ur every day experiences,
those transcendent moments of awe that change even for a moment how we feel." - Sarah

The morning is still and the darkness outside hides many secrets, who knows what little animals are scurrying about.  Inside  am warm and safe I feel hopeful.   
The sounds of my neighbor and her mom getting the excitrd dogs all ready to go for their walks comes in even the closed window.   I take another drink of water hopeful of its restoratoin powers.  I pause to give thanks.  Ingratitude can become such a bad habit.

Not only does the body need healing water but also my thirsting soul. Thankfulness is the healing gift of grace that soothes our wounded souls and brings peace to a restless mind full of anxious thoughts.
So I walk in the foggy dew like a drunken sailor who does not have his sea legs yet but hey I am thankful to be walking.  I would make a good old crone for Halloween with a big hat and a walking stick and my crooked way of walking before my legs have really woken up.

I am thankful for my morning coffee and jam piled high on my toast and polite drivers who wave me across.  I am thankful for all the goodness in life, for the beauty of the ground now covered with leaves  and to be feeling more alive again.


Yes the nasty cough is still hanging on so dad and I take the time to go to see Dr. Nolte.  Evidently my white blood cells are high so now I am on codeine and cortisone and this should completely solve all my problems.  (Melina how is your mom?)   was thankful there was a cancellation and I got in earlier than expected.

It takes a lot of time driving and parking and waiting.  Also had my wrist x-rayed because it is painful.  I have pills for it but cannot take them with everything else.  The amazing thing is when you have something that is sore how you keep hurting it.

I know that I only live a full life when I live fully and thankfully in the moment.

"When I am present, I meet  I Am, 
the very presence of a present God."  -Ann Voskamp

What did Jesus do when he did not have enough food to feed all the hungry souls, He gave thanks.

The real problem of life is never  a lack of time,  but how we rush about so much worrying about it.

Good day today Mary and Simone will be here for breakfast and I am going to try to make it to the Jet lag Bible study.  Maybe Simone would like to come.  UP coughing again!  O Darn it all!