REJOICE

Dad and I drive along the flats to White Rock to get the results of my x-ray.  I am trying not to worry but my mind goes back to my lung operation and I just do not want to have to go through that nightmare again.  When confronted with a situation where the outcome is unknown I often imagine the worst.  This allows a great overwhelming fear to control me.  My faith seems very small and unreal at times like this, but prayer helps.

          'I've had a very difficult life,
           Fortunately, most of it didn't happen,"
               Mark Twain.

Our imagination is a very powerful tool that too often I use to envision the worst.  Causing pain and fear to take control. 

I was thankful to read the good results although another x-ray would be required in a month's time.

Today I am committing myself to doing whatever it takes to become more peaceful, more understanding, more joyful and happy.  I will use my imagination creatively!  I will give my body time to heal. 

          "If I am at war with myself,
            I can bring little peace
            to my fellow man."
                  Anonymous

I do hope to meet this dear person anonymous in heaven one day.

Jesus said: "Only my father is Good."

I pray that God with his infinite wisdom with infinite grace can help me to become better.  Today is a new day to rejoice and be happy!

Thank you Cathy for the visit and the prayer.

SHORT

Thinks I will remind myself not to do

Do not write long blogs full of dribble

Do not worry

Do not climb stairs with a handful of heavy books,

Do not walk around in bare feet

Do not go for long walks

Do not worry about Christmas cards or presents

Do not loose any more gloves

Do not stand on chairs ti reach high up in the cupboard
Things to do

Phoned doctor no appointment until Dec 12.

Am feeling so much better to day.

PLANS

I have not been able to do anything I have been planning and it is annoying.

Dad had a good drive to the eye-center where he got good news that the glaucoma is good and he has cataracts forming but they will not need attention for awhile This news we were expecting,.  He took pictures while he was there and the ladies were very pleased they love to decorate  I love to visit with them while dad is seeing the doctor.

No, I was not well enough to go and seem to be a little dizzy but to-morrow I
 will be better.

We all face our challenges in this life and I am sure there will be more on the way,
.
We have the comfort of family and friends and count ourselves blessed.  I am finding it very hard to type'

THE EYE CENTRE

these two ladies have such great fun decorating their place.  I usually talk to them while dad talks to the doctor.

SIMPLE MARVELLOUS

First I want to say my family is absolutely marvellous
The thought just occurred me that if your dad had carried me over the threshold for the fast fifty years he may have kept strong; he could pick me up now.

.But I must say that my family and friends have been more than wonders  Dad had the stew for supper and I had the chicken rice...MARVELLOUS. Sandra is a wonderful cook! 

Pat and John poked their heads in to see how we were.  It's nice missed at church,

Jane we will certainly enjoy every but if the chicken you have brought over for us.

You are all marvellous

  Rick was good to hear your phone call.  Ken I hope you are all over your colds soon.  It is hard on all the family.

 I will take it slowly as i get better.  this has been agony to write

Had a short skype call from Pentali as Carol had already gone to bed  They had a wonderful thanksgiveing dinner,with friends.

PICTURES FROM DAD'S EYS PLACE THAT HE TOOK.

KARIOS

NO WORRIES  MATE

Made itO ut of bed this morning with no helping hand.  Still walking like a drunken sailor but that will improve during the day.  Now I am trying to figure out if it is Sat. or Sun.  Dad and I will have to tackle the laundry today; I stuff everything in yesterday and nearly burnt out the motor.  I am totally incontinence which adds to the joy of life; but it is better than not been able to go at all.  I wonder if this is my new challenge in life.

Planning to go to the eye doctor with dad to-morrow as I always go in case I need to drive home.  Only happened once.  Plans have been flying out the window and I am worried about Christmas.  Dad is not.

The Shanon's drove some flowers and a funny d.v.d. off with a card.  They are will to come and help in any way they can.  We are not that gracious about accepting help bu once I am out of the bedroom I can show Larry what needs to be done.  He never seems to seems to see dirt; except when I dropped the crackers on he floor and made a real mess.

We live in this world in what appears to be out time but in fact there is a time called Karios, which is God's time.  This is when he will intervene and it is called the fullness of time when we shall see his glory.  The glory we glimpse ever so slightly that we cannot believe it. 

Moments of grace touch our lives so gently and quickly but they do happen!

Has Felicia had her baby praying all goes well.

LAZY DAYS

A very lazy day.  We are in our bedroom dad is sitting in his big chair reading the
 paper and I am covered with a mound of blankets trying to get warm.  I have been very sick to my stomach a nasty and have fallen down trying to get to the bathroom;  twice and dad can barely help me up.  I hit my head in the toilet but fortunately it is a hard head.  lol

Poor dad he is worried about me but I will be out waking in no time. It is so surprising how much it can talk out of you and make you sooo weak.

Cannot wait to walk over to the pond.  There is   slight possibility I have tried to do too much too soon, but it is a miserable rainy day so \i can relax and have my good husband wait on me!  Or my immune system is nor doing is's job.

DISASTERS

                                                                White Rock

One of those bad hair days!  I took somethings out to the garage when a mouse jumped out at me from a high shelf where there was a bag of grass seed.  I screamed bloody murder but dad remained calm.  One little mouse can sure make a mess!
Next the racoon got into the garbage.  He knocks it over but cannot take the lid off so somehow he gets his little hand in and drags out piece by piece.  So there was a nice mess at the road where the garbage was waiting to be picked up.

I went to do a little visiting and dad decided to surprise me by making an apple pie.  What a mess!  Pie cruszt and flour all over but none in the pie plate.  Being a inventive persons he decided to cook the apples without the crust.  Certainly deserved an A for effort.
(glutten free baking is a challenge.)

So we had toast for supper.

I am also having some trouble with some Bible readings.  I think I need some wise Jew to help me understand their thinking.  But then I read in Karen Armstrong, a wise woman with great amazing knowledge of all religions, the Jews were having trouble when all the gentiles wanted to convert to be followers of Jesus.  What should the rules be?  After all God had promised to be their God hadn't He?

They searched the scriptures for an answer and with the help of Peter's dream; and  Paul's conversion experience that if the gentile converts renounced all pagan beliefs and accepted God as the one true God they could be accepted without having to convert to Judaism first.

I can understand why people would be drawn to Jesus as I have always found him to be a man of faith and courage and wisdom and his teachings so full of compassion.  I believed the spirit of God was upon him.  He lived out his faith with such power and grace that I could trust him to reveal God to me.

There is much that is hidden in the life of Jesus and yet I believe we have been given all we need to know to discover the sacred meaning in all of life.

There are many books written about Jesus, some historical and others mystical, but it is his love that has captured my heart!

VALUE

                                     Value the past for what it has taught us.
Value the present that gives us the opportunity to make at least one other person happy!

Every human being has value and should be nurtured and care for by loving parents; who do the best they can.

I believe that all human beings are exquisitely fragile especially as children and as the very elderly. 
each stage of life in between has it's problems that can feel overwhelming.  We all need to be treated with compassion. 

Most of us have health problems that can drain the energy out of us.  The stress of life, the unfairness, the disappointments are felt in the very cells and tissues of our bodies even if the mind is unaware of it.
Sleep is so important but so many sleepless nights with little ones.  We value our health that we do have and especially if our minds can keep working and we can see and hear and breath!
Dad is doing a great job being my secretary and taking my phone calls.  Sorry I missed your call Sandra. He also is doing well at cooking, and cleaning up.
If it wasn't for him the dishes would just be piling up until we ran out of dishes.

Good to talk to Melina and Ken on Tuesday.  Praying for better health for them all and for Ken to get a job.  I feel confident all  will work out well.

I really enjoyed getting out to talk and laugh with the girls yesterday but it did exhaust me.  I would like to take Jim some cookies and have a short visit this afternoon at the Nursing Home.  I am undecided.

I know that people value the time I spend with them and it does me good too.

Still a few leaves left

Came home in the pouring rain and heavy wind and so glad to sit by the fire and warm up!










c

EXPECTATIONS

I have great expectations when dad and I start making the pumpkin muffins; even though I am not in the best mood.  Measuring seems like such a big effort so I just dump in the canned pumpkin for dad to stir and follow it with the flour which seems to end up everywhere but in the bowl.  In my hair, on the floor and on my clothes and I just hope the right amount ended up where it was suppose to be.

But in the end they turned out pretty good.  Well, good enough for me to eat.  Whipping cream on top helped!

Life can seem a lot like this disaster  One.e thing after another can go wrong until I reach the point I wonder if anything will turn out for the best.  Yesterday fatigue hit like a ton of bricks and I start to think is the rest of my life going to be lived feeling so rotten.  I pray about my doubts and fears and ask for courage.  Courage means that I have to admit I am afraid and that I am not sure about my future.

Okay so it is okay to fail because it happens to us all.  I felt like a failure yesterday because it seemed like I had gotten worse and I was expecting everyday to get better and better

Courage is the gift that helps me remember that I have come through difficult things in the past and gives me faith that the future has the potential to allow me to tap into hidden resources of energy.  But this will take time and patience and faith.  A good night's sleep helps but also the expectations  that good waits for me on the road ahead.

But first I must be willing to keep trying and to have the courage that faith will guide me and help me to take one step at a time.

I wrote this blog and all of a sudden it disappeared and I know that the second writing is not so good.

We all want to think we are searching for the Real Truth and that somehow it will bring beauty into our lives but; be aware truth can make you miserable before it sets you free.  There are many things about myself that I am unhappy about but as long as I see what needs to be changed there is hope!

Courage and faith prepare the way to finding truth.

THE WAVES AND THE WIND.

Standing at the shore watching the small waves coming gentley to touch the sand there is a sense that I am at one with creation and with all those who have stood here before me and will be here when I am not.  Dad certainly choose the right day for our visit to the ocean.  The tides continue and no man can control them they are a fact of life.

I remember the delight I had as a prairie child coming to the coast with my family to visit our friends.  I would just love swimming in the ocean and could do it for hours.  The beach is a fascinating place to find treasures that I would take home with me every year.

Last night the wind was making furious assaults on our house and kept waking me up.  A lot of those leaves that have been hanging on to their branches will be on the ground this morning.  Often there will be one lead clinging stubbornly to it's branch.  Afraid to let go and experience the joy of the wind carrying it up to the sky and sailing free before is touches the earth.  God is in the wind that can lift us beyond the safety of where we have been into the great unknown.

 It looks like it is raining this morning but it is hard to tell in the darkness.

"The light shines even when our eyes do not see it"  To be able to see and hear not only in the physical world but to sense that I can also see and hear in the invisible reality that surrounds us all.  I know that to experience light even in the darkness is to be aware of something greater than my understanding.

Silence is the soul breathing and the heart opening and the wonder of life expressing itself all.

Special prayers for Mathew and Jassmine this morning.  Hope that Mathew's cold is better soon and also that Jassy recovers from her fall and that all will be well. 

I am not as good as I think I am as trying to do a bit of shopping for Christmas just made me sooo weary. 

I will send my love on the waves and on the wind to all my family.

THE FIGHT

It was a very real fight, with myself, to go out for an early morning walk in the cold frosty morning.  My neighbors were scrapping off their windows, concentrating very hard in this miserable job. Scrap scrap scrap. 

Coming home it was a fight to wash my hair and get ready for church.

Putting on a happy face will be good for me and knowing that so many people care about me and will be so glad to see me lifts my spirits.  I have spent too many days feeling soul-weary, gazing out the window uncaring and unresponsive, too tired even to read. 

Getting ready for my walk I realize that I have already lost one of my new warm beautiful gloves.  I thought I had out grown this but I guess not.

Sunday morning has always been a welcome time when I  can forget about the joys and the sorrows that weigh me down.  At times I worry too much and yes I need to trust that my faith will not make everything turn out right; but I do not need to know all the answers or believe that there is this magic plan for my life; but just be thankful for all the struggles that seem at times to lead to dead ends.

Yes, I can see how hard it can be for others to believe if they have never experienced the "peace that passes understanding" and the healing grace of love.

I am always glad I make the effort!

COMMON

There is still a light dusting of snow on the ground and it feels very cold to me.  My little snow man has melted and is a sad little pile on the ground.  I was surprised to see only one other snow man on my walks but I guess children are too busy to be having fun in the snow.  Too bad.  One of the great joys of childhood, that really was as much fun as I remember.

So sorry to hear that little Mathew has the croup.  The first five years with small children are so exhausting as they often get sick and that is such a worry.

Dad was feeling pressure in his eye last night which is a big worry too.  Fortunately he sees the eye doctor on Friday.  He likes his new eye drops better.

We had our pictures taken for the church directory and we look like a sad pair with big smiles at least. I had my second x-ray which will decide if I need a cat-scan because of changes in the left lung.  Waiting to hear the news is annoying but then again so fortunate to have all this modern medicine.

My walks are almost back at a normal pace and dad has relaxed about me going for my walks.  I tend to get depressed if I cannot do my walking but I count it as one of my spiritual acts.

We are watching a funny D.V.D. about religion which pokes fun at all religions and at our pictures of God that we carry in our minds.  I have progressed in that I am able to see the humor that helps me to see the truth more realistically. 
Dad agrees with the actress and I know that self-aggrandizement needs to be brought down to earth. 

We had a visit from John and Pat after we had gone down to the Sylvia for lunch.  We enjoyed both.  We have a lot in common with them having been friends a long time.  We agree that we should do more things we enjoy doing while we can.  Family problems and health issues can so easily pop up just when life seems to be sailing along.  This has the capacity to rob life of it's enjoyment especially if we do not grow with the changes that need to be made.

I hope that I never lose the ability to care about what is really important.  Even when you are living by faith that God can strengthen and help us through I find that I can be in a place of soul-weariness.
This is a common theme in spiritual writings; but still does not deny that there is a living force that lies deep within and beneath all our emotions.

CHOICES

I am so thankful for the choices I do have especially to be able to go back out for my walks.  I love taking big steps and swinging my arms  and breathing in the freshness of a new day.  I admire the trees and laugh at a silly squirrel dashing across my path, I look down the road before me waiting for me to come.  I talk to myself and to God. 

Sometimes I really need someone to talk to and just listen to me.  Sometimes I even have inspiring thoughts that I wish I could write down because I know they will vanish as quickly as they come.

I choose to believe in God who I cannot see nor can I understand.  When I look at the mess the world is in now I find that even more difficult to understand.  Why doesn't make me really rich so I could give it away and help others who so little.

I find it easy to choose to find beauty in scripture even among the ugly violence and intolerance.

I believe that in all the many words that seem confusing the simple truth is that there can be sacred moments and sacred places in each one of our lives.  You just know that you are not alone.  This makes me feel very tiny and the world amazingly big.  But for a moment this unconditional, amazing, inspiring love is shining light upon me.  I feel loved by the whole universe and special just because I am me,

There is a story about a Tailor in Nicaraguan in the village of Cuppa, who, when the Virgin began appearing to him in 1980 prayed that she would choose someone else, as he had probems enough!

Sometimes I want to just rant and rage at God because of all the injustice in the world but after I do that I become silent, take a big breath until the silence becomes the presence I couldn't feel in my anger.

WHITE

I am excited as I look out and see the ground now being covered with whote snow.  I love to walk in it it makes all the world seem so quiet.  It was a good thing dad bought me some new warm gloves as I had already lost one. I am so happy to wake up feeling so much better just in time to enjoy an early morning walk.

I am fortunate to have time in my day to enjoy just being alive!

There are days that get a little too busy but I am taking care not to do more than I have the energy for.  I realize that most people have very busy stressful lives that leave little time for meditation and quiet thoughts.  If I listen to the news I find myself getting tense and fearful with all that is going on. 

We have not been able to solve the problems of greed, violence, hatred, addictions, mistrust and injustice.  We have to keep trying.

I believe that the goal of all good people, religious or not is to make this world a better place.  Love and compassion will help us improve and turn away from negative and selfish desires, help us heal our wounded souls and discover that inner peace is possible.

I believe that spiritual practice can help us first change ourselves as we at the same time try to helpthers to change.  Ignorance allows anger and bitterness to take root and to allow change there has to be a willingness to be disciphined.  Good intentions are not enough.  I find I stumble over the same mistakes time and time again,

All religions have their cultural values and we do not need to convert each other but live with respect and appreciation for the good that is in all cultures.  Misunderstantings cause pain and anger.  There are no winners when we see the cost of fighting war after war.

What a difference a day can make!

NORMAL

Silently the leaves are falling and the bare brown earth is carpeted the ground with color.
 God is in the silence.
 Real friends are those you can just sit in silence with and enjoy their company without words.

My life is returning to normal.  I burn the toast, spill the coffee. lose everything, try to figure out what to have for supper, going for short walks and enjoying being outside.  I tire very quickly and have not been able to carry out plans I make early in the morning. 

Dad is doing the shopping and I still have to remind him to check the ingredients but other than that he is doing a grand job.  He now knows all the clerks in the store and they just laugh as he gets to the check-out and has to go back because he has forgotten something.

He is cooking supper while I do a short visit to the Nursing home to let people know I have not just disappeared.  Hopefully I will fill the day with good thoughts and good kind acts and really that is what it is all about.  I feel that I go with the blessing of the Creator, the Holy One who was called El.

Yes it is all about doing unto others with kindness and sensitivity what we would like done unto us.  There is a pattern that becomes our life and the more kindness and compassion we weave into it the more beautiful it becomes.

I am a part of a grand design that cannot be explained or understood but just lived as faithfully as I can.

DIMLY

I am looking for the right picture.

I know that as long as we are in this material world we will see things only dimly.

Except for rare moments of awe and beauty.

They cannot be held on to nor can we hold onto God.

Words that have become dogma certainly have become meaningless.

There are words like the Lord's prayer or the twenty-third psalm that have given soldiers comfort and strength in the pain and agony of battle.

Can it be as simple as the Breath of the Creator breathing into you and me and

the way we express this experience of awe is through art and music and creativity.

I know that we do not exist in isolation and that if we could every be really silent we would hear a great amazing ancient harmony.

The scripture tells us we see through a mirror dimly!

I feel that it is important to keep hugging and touching one another as a way of expressing love.

I AM who I AM

PLAYFULNESS

Beautiful!  Beautiful!

There is a playfulness inside of each one of us that longs to dive into a pile of leaves, to dance to a tune on the radio, to laugh at some silly joke, to shout and hear your own echo, to just enjoy life for the sheer moment of silliness.  There is also within us a part of us that responds to the pure beauty of nature.  Both of these re-actions set us free from earthly worries and concerns.

This morning I am happy just to relax and not set out for my morning challenge.  I sit doing my blog and my washing machine is happily washing my clothes.  How cool is that.

This is very unusual for me.  Dad is very happy getting up and quietly reading ALL the news even articles on the computer.  Life is interesting because we are all so different.  I look at our children and see how each one of them is so perfectly unique.

As we allow life to shape and mold us we find deeper values hidden within.  This is a painful process because it takes time and admitting that we have been wrong.

I am missing the meeting of our United Church Women this morning.  We are a small group that still manages to go great things.  Cold feet are made warm as we collect warm socks for the homeless. we contribute to needs of the church and even our least coins are sent to faraway countries to be used to feed and clothe the little ones.  We also have speakers that help us keep informed.  We are just a very small group of women who have been friends a long time and we have shared each other's griefs and joys.

It also recognizes sin in our own hearts.  Sin that can be as simple as being discourteous, thinking only of one's self; a place of rigid and static stubbornness out of which we lie and cheat and distrust.

I have been reading about kairos time, which is not bound by time at all.  We are all apart of this time.  When I visit a friend knowing that they are dying of cancer, my faith is nothing if I do not believe that in Kairos time, in God's time, she will be made whole and that even know she is being used by God as a witness to a life lived day by day gallantly and bravely.


Today like every day I have plans that I am hoping to be able to do and it helps to be feeling so much better.  Cathy (of the 5) dropped by last night when I was already in bed.  I had finally let them know I had not been well.  Her visit is so calming and loving.  She knows what it is to struggle with health issues especially fatigue and mental disability.

There are so many different people that have been apart of my life and who continually teach me and affirm me.  I am gradually learning to turn everything over to God especially those who are suffering and who one day will leave us.

There are many gates will all pass through as we journey on in search of a glimmer of truth; and only when we are on the other side will we know!

I pray knowing only God knows the answers.

 I pause in wordless wonder, to enjoy the beauty that is holding us close to the very heart of Love.

YESTERDAY

Awe yesterday promised to be such a good day.  I went for a bit of a walk ans just enjoyed the fresh air and seeing people rushing to catch the bus and life seem to b so normal.  I was a part of this moving energy that had a plan and a purpose.  I wanted to go to the library to pick up  the book I had ordered although it has taken so long coming I had for gotten what it was about.

I love taking my time just to look and marvel at all the stories and history and thoughts that have been put into words.

But as I was looking all my strength started to drain from me leaving me feeling bone weary.  My plans to do some shopping would have to be forgotten.

It was good I came home early as I had phone calls from Oliver and from Shawna and Stephen.

I always love to hear from them.

I have opened my box of chocolates and they are excellent.

SUNDAY MORNING

A good day to do some scripture reading.

Sunday morning I did some reading and took some pictures.  Not a great day but a good day just to rest around home.

I took the last, every single one of my nasty pills.
And I am thankful I do not have to confess my resistance to taking them.  I want to feel more like myself.  I hate being found out and having to do what I am told. 

Had great art to put on my frig. as Theresa came for a visit with Ben and Morgan.  It was a joy to see them even though it was tiring.  Sandra also came over and threatened to tie one of us as dead to practice her first aid.  I volunteered but she forgot the ties.  Just as well she may have just left me.  lol

Went right to bed when everyone left and felt very happy to be feeling more like myself.  Emotionally and physically.  There is a secret part of me that I just like to keep hidden and I am sure I am not alone in this.

We each in our ways have to make choices between right and wrong.  I had to ask my self will it heal or will it upset me?  Is it constructive and beneficial and create peace.  Questions can be threatening and make me what to hide the answers.  We do not often acknowledge our fears and if we do it is often just to laugh about them.  To acknowledge fear is the first sign of courage. 

I will gradually start to do more things this week and continue to rest when I feel like it.   Sickness can be an uncomfortable rut that we have to make the effort to move out of.  I need to keep a sense of humor desperately! 

I enjoyed the visit and am looking forward to a better week and a better sleep at night!

ORDINARY PEOPLE

We are all just ordinary people in the process of change. Also even the ordinary have great significance!  I believe that there is an extraordinary presence that helps us to change and discover our significance.

Most of us want to be healthy and active and helpful but stress that we are aware of and unknown stress eats away within us and we feel discontent.  I want all my loved ones to be happy and healthy but they all have their problems.

I lie awake at night and try to pray especially for those who are weighed down with the burdens of life.

If we have a healthy lifestyle and  healthy relationships it helps our bodies to find a balance that can renew us and recreate new energy.  This does not just happen but takes effort.

If for this moment in time I can sense that I am not alone in this silence
 but have the potential to tape into the power of creation that surrounds us all,
I have been richly blessed.

I grew up in a far simpler world although as a child I did not always understand the problems my parents had to deal with.  I think both dad and mom were perfectionists in their own way.  My dad worked very hard at work and liked everything at home to be in order and my mom was very good at that.  Work was very important and play was what you did after all the work was done.

As I read the stories of Jesus I realize that he grew up in a very different time than me.  Yet this man Jesus was able to touch what was ordinary in the lives of those he ministered to and bring compassion and understanding.  As I read I realize that, that which is true of any religious figure, is true of Jesus who we may think we know and yet there is much that is unknown.  I believed that he struggled with all the humanness that we struggle with; loneliness, rejection, angry and frustration and the fear that the truth had not really touched the hearts of those he loved and cared so passionately about.

Yet His Spirit captures the hearts of many today who try to model their lives after him and accept that all suffering cannot be alleviated.  Yet, this Holy Spirit can touch the lives who are open to it's transforming power.

I am very thankful that dad understands I get grouch when I feel so weak and tired and think I should be all better.  I am thankful for good friends like Jane who bring me goody bags to cheer me up and keep me informed of others who are going through very difficult health issues.

I am thankful for each one of my family knowing that I am loved just for being me.

Hopefully we may be able to have a drive and it will do us both good.  Dad did not sleep well last night and neither did I.  I pray for his healing.  He will sleep well for four hours from 4 to 8 but then I am ready for bed.

I am doing much better so far to day.

We are all just very ordinary people that have the potential to grow and be transform, sometimes through suffering, into more loving people because the love of all creation lives through Jesus in  timeless ways. 

How wonderful that the Spirit of Jesus is willing to work within us
 even when we are impatient and just a little grouchy!

HABITS

Faith is a gift that brings light and hope and healing.

It is cold and dark as I slip out of bed early in the morning looking for my slippers.  I seem to have a habit of waking early and I envy those who can sleep on.  So hear I am in my quiet corner to write down my thoughts that have awakened me once again.

Dad insisted on going for a short walk with me yesterday and it felt good to be out.  I am very thankful for the advances in modern medicine that can diagnose and heal us.  I feel like I have lost the last two weeks of my life just doing nothing but somethings you just have to accept in life.

Leah phoned from the airport as she and Craig leave for a week in Hawaii.  It was good to hear from her.  She has been through such a difficult time trying to regain her health and find relief from pain.

I am very proud of each one in my family.  Sandra working so hard at her first aid course and checking up on us too.

Tasha is now a bus driver and who would have ever thought she would end up doing that. 

Ken is visiting his older children in Brisbane and Rick will be seeing Lucas at Christmas.  Family is so important.  Mary and Michael John have jobs now in Kitchener and have found a house to rent.  At least we can keep up with our family that are far from home by e-mail and skype.

Our great-grandson Ben has had a glowing letter from his teacher saying he is a fabulous student and impressive in all areas.  Children do seem to be getting smarter although I think there have always been children with wisdom beyond their years!

Looking over the past years and all the wars that have taken so many of our young people makes one feel sad.  Good and evil seem to continue to battle in the hearts of mankind.

I believe that in the face of suffering and tragedy, we need to hold on to the faith that somehow, ultimately in God's time wounds will heal and good will come out of tragedy.

Even religion has been used to abuse and create division but I like to see the positive.

Religion has taken me from the darkness of life into a place of wonder.  Life can be lived in the moment aware of a presence that calls me to prayer, to listening, to singing, to studying, to celebrating, to giving thanks, laughter and joy, a sense of a foundation that is underneath all.

Sharing our struggles can transform the pain and burdens we all carry.  We need social stability that cares and gives to others.

Yes, yes I know that no institution touched by human hands is free from corruption but I have learned that love is stronger than hate and forgiveness flows from above to set us free.

I was shy and introverted and confused until I found the unconditional love that gives life meaning!
For me!

Now I really must find my slippers.  I am longing to get into the habit of my morning walks.  Sigh.

REMEMBRANCE DAY

Remembering those who laid down their lives for us.

                             The cross reminds us of death and resurrection into new life. 

Yesterday dad went to a remembrance day tea at the church.  He took his scrapbook that has letters from his uncles who died in the war.  One of his uncles died in a plane crash and the other died in hospital from a piece of shrapnel that entered his chest and could not be removed.  So sad to think of these young boys dieing so far from home but willing to give their lives to allow others to live in peace.

We usually attend a service but probably not today.  Dad's shoulder is hurting again and pain is so draining, and while I am much better there is no way I could stand around in the cold and rain.

I am reading about a young father who refused to go to war and was put in jail and treated cruelly.
That was how strongely he felt about peace.  War never seems to solve anything but freedom is worth dying for. 

I feel very strongly that we in Canada should be able to decide if we want to send our young people to war.  These soldiers are never the same again even when they are released.

Life is not fair and questions that have no answers are a part of the battle we face in our own lives.  I do not expect my faith to solve all questions but to live in the questions and to find hope bigger than our despair.  Faith is a way to live that calls for us to find strength that is grounded in humility and honesty.

We live in freedom that was bought with a price.

HOT AND COLD

Enjoy the beauty of nature.

I was hot and cold all night and I think that it is a good sign that all those nasty germs are leaving.

Had a short trip to the library to pick out some D.V.D's and found that tired me out.

I feel bad I will not be visiting at the Nursing Home for the second week and will be continuing my "house arrest"  I sit and think about things that I could do like clean out cupboards and organized my closet but just too much effort. 

The doctor had been very straight with me about what I had to do to get better, which is rest and keep warm.  I do not even have a desire to go out walking so I do not have to battle that today.  So I accept that I cannot be as active as I would like to be.  It helps having dad for company, to make me coffee and sandwiches, and my mystery story and funny D.V.D.'s.  I have been frustrated not being able to be out side.

Life is full of little co-incidences.  I found an old book mark that Kim gave to me and then she comments on my blog.  Ken sends pictures from Australia and the children big and small look good.

I want to get better right now but that just is not going to happen.  I will turn this day over to God trusting His love to do what my feeble love is unable to do.|  I will enjoy resting and being content.

SURPRISED

I am feeling exhausted after my day out yesterday going to the doctor.
I went expecting to hear good news because I was feeling so much better.
I could hardly believe it when dad and I were told I had had pneumonia.

Yes I was better but another x-ray would have to be taken in two weeks. 
Walking in the cold damp was not advisable but resting and keeping warm and finishing my medicine was the best thing for me to do to get completely well.

Dad is now joining me with his coughing.  What a pair!

I remind myself that my body is "fearfully and wonderfully made" and
that there is amazing healing power that is at work within me; a mystery!

Blessings
When someone sneezes we say "Bless you" hardly thinking.  It used to be believed that when one sneezes one is close to death.  "Bless you really meant something.  Studying about Jacob and Esau
I think we need to reawaken our sense of blessing.

When I used to visit the elderly years back they liked to sing "Count your blessings, name them one by one!|"  That is a good thing to remember.