I have been extremely worried about dad and the focus of my thinking has been on him. Today I will go to the hospital with him where he gets his ultra sound. Then next to see his new doctor at the Hilltop Center.
I have been feeling so very exhausted, emotionally drained and just wanted to catch my breath.
I thought because nothing was said about the possibilities of what could be happening that I could put my tests off until dad's were finished. I think I should have been told more and then would have made better quicker decisions. The timing just has not been the best. So I may have colon cancer or I may have brain cancer. I feel a little numb. I want to know.
I will now go to all appointments and yes I am willing to fight because there is so much to look forward to. I was worried about having problems that could be the result of a stroke which I believed and still believe the brain can be retrained.
I was hoping to be able to get the cat scan earlier and the doctor felt strongly that would happen. In fact he told us twice to wait and not order it privately.
I believe we both had the same thought in mind that this could save a lot of tests and appointments.
I know I need to listen to advice but. . . . . . Also I thought I was working very hard to improve my walking and honestly believed I was getting better.
I will now face my fears and will work hard to get healthy. I know it is important to know and also love yourself and I do not want anyone to be worried. But loving thoughts and prayers are helpful!
I am thankful for my family!
Hope is the most powerful medicine so I will try to continue to be hopeful.
5 comments:
The "C" word is a big word for doctors to be using, so they would not want to be throwing it around lightly. Well, you and dad certainly are facing more than your share of medical issues right now. Sandra
lots of love and good thoughts/prayers sent your way. Listening to the doctors is important and so is listening to yourself.
Beth, your news hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought you had a small stroke. The possibility of having to face cancer is so scary.
You and Larry are going through some worrisome times, with both of you not feeling well. Having to face what may be cancer takes a lot of courage and I can see you are facing things right on. Very admirable.
The important word here is MAY.....and I know you are thinking " the glass is half full" as we all are and praying and hoping for good results from your tests.
I am so glad to hear that you will be going to all your appointments and tests. I hope they move your scan up so you don't have to wait so long. The waiting for answers is so difficult.
Although, I have never met you in person, I feel as though I know you from reading your daily blog and wish, oh how I wish, that I could come and give you a big hug.....and say "everything is going to be all right".
I know you have a close, loving family and many friends and feel sure they will be there to give you lots of positive support and love.
Sending you and Larry lot of love, hope and I don't need to add courage as I know you have lots of that. You are a strong lady!
I will keep you both in my prayers,
Love, Nancy
Yes - hope and good humour are key in dealing with adversity, including illness.
I know you are a lot of both, not to mention faith!
Love,
Rick
I think I said lung but it should be brain C.
I did well when I did have lung cancer so that is good having experience.
I do not think it is this but it will be good to be reassured.
Feeling better about dad.
love mom
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