GUILT

These trees have character when you look at the trunks and see the knot holes; which at first may seem ugly.
But they have grown tall and have produced lots of green leaves.
Now that I am taking pictures I am more aware of beauty in places where I would have just walked by.
The Jewish mother is famous for instilling guilt; but all mothers can easily do that. Yes, I certainly did. Personnally a little guilt never hurt if we learn from it and keep growing.

I never walked on grass when the sign said keep off, but I have touched the paint where the sign said do not touch. I have done things which I should have asked first and didn't. I went a tiny bit inside the water shed park just to take a picture; the trees inside the park where much greener.

God, well I really do not know what else to call "him" but He is referred to in the Bible somewhere as She. I like the term Ancient of Days, Creator, Spirit, Supreme Being, Gracious Lord. Life Giver, Great Spirit, Lover, Name Above All Names, etc.

I feel that the whole Universe is longing to reach out and draw inside the beauty that is Holiness and that the ache that I feel at times maybe is God aching to comfort me. Everyone feels a sadness at times, and it can be unexplained but it comes upon your soul with deep emotion that cannot just be brushed away.

I try to think of others who are feeling sad and it helps me to say a prayer for them. Prayer reminds me that I am not alone and others are praying for me too.

I felt guilty because I had forgotten the birthday of one of my old friends at the Nursing Home. She was not upset but I was. I had brough her a small cold drink of 7 Up which she throughly enjoyed. She loved hearing all about the Theater Under the Stars so it was a happy visit.

I was grouchy when I got home and did not really feel like going to Tssawwsen to the Golf Club to watch Carol and Panteli and Dad practice hitting balls. I was glad when I got there and we sat out on the patio and enjoyed the peaceful setting. Dad did well so he was happy and I am so pleased he is able to do more things now.

I forgot my camera for the second night and missed some beautiful scenes, but I am thankful I did not miss going.

Guilt was the first negative emotion experienced in the Bible. I think it has many redeeming qualities. I think the odd twing of guilt reminds us of how imperfect we really are. It is so easy to say something thoughtless that can even hurt some one else.

Beauty around me quiets the negative emotions whether it be guilt or more likely anxiety.

Others so often say just what I would like to put into words.

"Replace everything with joy. With confidence. With faith. With love."

----Christina Baldwin.