ALONE

Jesus promised “I will never leave you or forsake you. 

This is a very barren season for us right now.  This barrenness can seep into me.  Getting good results and a good night's sleep and a good walk this morning will help.  Also thinking about the people who love me!

I have been concerned about our friend who I believe has congestive heart failure.  She has been in hospital but sent home after they drain the fluids from her lungs.  She feels better but now is getting worse again and meanwhile her daughter has gone to Hawaii where she goes every year. 

Our friend  is in a Seniors home where she receives all  her meals and help bathing.  Every morning she feels pretty good but by evening she is very frightened as she feels her lungs filling up again.  It is sad she has made no friends there who would pop in to see her. It is a tragedy that she is alone in her apartment.

I have had two memories return very clearly to me just of late.  One is a little child seeing my mom disappear into a dark hole in the kitchen floor   (to do the laundry) and the other is when my mom left to attend her mom's funeral.  Both times I had this awful fear "Mommy do not leave me."

The hardest times in my life have been when I have had to suffer alone.  I have had bad asthma attacks and the children would be in bed and dad was at work.  Never knowing if you would be able to keep breathing was frightening.  I dot like being alone for long periods of time even now.

My prayer now is "Jesus do not leave me."

This for me is the promise of the Resurrection  which comes after there was darkness and hopelessness.  This is my foundation of my  faith.  I hope that when \I breathe my last I will start breathing with a new eternal breath!  His breath or the wind of his spirit or his love has not left us alone but is surrounding us all.